11777 lines
452 KiB
Plaintext
11777 lines
452 KiB
Plaintext
The Project Gutenberg EBook of Running Sands, by Reginald Wright Kauffman
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This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
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almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
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re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
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with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
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Title: Running Sands
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Author: Reginald Wright Kauffman
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Release Date: February 3, 2012 [EBook #38753]
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Language: English
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*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RUNNING SANDS ***
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Produced by Robert Cicconetti, Kerry Tani and the Online
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Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
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book was produced from scanned images of public domain
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material from the Google Print project.)
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RUNNING SANDS
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RUNNING SANDS
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BY
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REGINALD WRIGHT KAUFFMAN
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AUTHOR OF
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"The House of Bondage," "The Sentence of Silence," etc.
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NEW YORK
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY
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COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY
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DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY
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To
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BRUNER KAUFFMAN
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Brother and Friend
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PREFACE
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"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and
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in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this
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Woman in holy Matrimony....
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"It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in
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the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name....
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"It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication;
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that such persons as have not the gift of continence might marry, and
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keep themselves undefiled....
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"It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one
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ought to have of the other....
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"Into which holy estate these two persons come now to be joined...."
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--The Book of Common Prayer.
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CONTENTS
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CHAPTER PAGE
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I "WON'T YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOUR?" 1
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II YOUNG BLOOD 20
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III EN GARDE, MONSIEUR! 34
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IV THE APPLE OF THEIR EYE 59
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V ONE ROAD TO LOVE 72
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VI A MAID PERPLEXED 88
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VII FIRE AND TOW 106
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VIII "THE WORLD-WITHOUT-END BARGAIN" 115
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IX ANOTHER ROAD 133
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X "UNWILLING WAR" 156
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XI DR. BOUSSINGAULT 176
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XII MONTMARTRE 198
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XIII WORMWOOD 215
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XIV RUNAWAYS 230
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XV "NOT AT HOME" 247
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XVI IN THE BOIS 254
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XVII THE CALL OF YOUTH 266
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XVIII OUR LADY OF PROTECTION 285
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XIX HUSBAND AND WIFE 304
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XX HUSBAND AND LOVER 318
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XXI THE MAN AND HIS GOD 333
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RUNNING SANDS
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I
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"WON'T YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOUR?"
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Stainton decided that he would go to the Metropolitan Opera House that
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night to hear _Madama Butterfly_. He did not care for operatic music,
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but he hoped to learn. He did not expect to meet anyone he knew, but he
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trusted that he might come to know someone he met. There was, at any
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rate, no spot in the Great American Desert, where he had found his
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fortune, quite so lonely as this crowded lobby of the Astor, the hotel
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at which he was now stopping--so he decided upon the Metropolitan and
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_Madama Butterfly_.
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A page was passing, uttering shrill demands for a man whose name seemed
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to be "Mr. Kerrghrrr." Stainton laid a large, but hesitating, hand upon
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the boy's shoulder.
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"Where can I buy a ticket for to-night's opera?" he enquired.
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The page ceased his vocal rumble and looked up with wounded reproof at
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the tall cause of this interruption.
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"News-stand," he said, and immediately escaped to resume the summons of
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"Mr. Kerghrrr."
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Stainton followed the direction that the page's eyes had indicated. Over
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the booth where newspapers might be purchased for twice the price that
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he would have to pay for them in the street, fifteen yards away, he saw
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a sign announcing the fact that opera and theatre tickets were here for
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sale. He approached, somewhat awkwardly, and, over a protruding ledge of
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red and blue covered magazines on which were portrayed the pink and
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white prettiness of impossibly insipid girls, confronted a suave clerk,
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who appeared tremendously knowing.
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"You have tickets for the opera?" asked Stainton.
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"Yessir."
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"For the Metropolitan Opera House?"
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"Yessir. How many?"
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"There are----It's _Madama Butterfly_ to-night, I think the paper said?"
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"Yessir. What part of the house do you want?"
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"I don't know," said Stainton. "That's a good show, isn't it?"
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The clerk was too well fitted for his business to smile at such a query.
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He had, besides, perception enough to discern something beyond the
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humorous in this broad-shouldered, grave man of anywhere from forty to
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fifty, who was evidently so strong in physique and yet so clearly
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helpless in the commonplaces of city-life.
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"It's the best production of that opera for the whole season," the clerk
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made answer. "Caruso sings _Pinkerton_ and----"
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"So I understand," said Stainton, quickly.
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The clerk nimbly shifted the quality of his information.
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"And anyhow," he went urbanely on, "the Metropolitan audience is always
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a show in itself, you know. Everybody that is anybody is there; for a
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steady thing it beats the Horseshow in Madison Square Garden. You'll be
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wanting seats in the orchestra, of course?"
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"One," corrected Stainton. "Shall I?" he added.
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"Oh, yes. That is, if you're a stranger in New York. I----Pardon me,
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sir, but I suppose you are a stranger?"
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"Very much of a stranger."
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"Then I can recommend this seat, sir." The clerk disappeared behind a
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hanging vine of magazines more glorious than the slopes of the Côte d'Or
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in autumn, and immediately reappeared with a ticket projecting from a
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narrow envelope. "Fifth row," he said. "Second from the aisle. Not on
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the side with the brasses, either. You can see all the boxes from it."
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Jim Stainton's heavy, iron-grey eyebrows came together in a puzzled
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meeting. Under them, however, his iron-grey eyes twinkled.
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"Thank you," he said; "but I want to see the stage, you know."
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"Oh," the clerk reassured him, "of course you'll see the stage
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perfectly."
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Stainton accepted the ticket.
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"Very well," he said. "Take it out of that."
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For many a hard year he had been used, by compulsion of desperate
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circumstance, to counting his two-bit pieces, and now, precisely because
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all that had passed, he enjoyed sharply the luxury of counting nothing,
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not even the double-eagles. He laid a yellow-backed bill on the glass
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counter and received, without regarding it, the change that the now
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thoroughly deferential clerk deftly returned to him. Doubtless he was
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paying a heavy commission to the hotel's ticket-agent; perhaps he was
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obtaining less change than, under the terms of that commission, he was
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entitled to; but certainly about none of these things did he care. Toil
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had at last granted him success, toil and good luck; and success had
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immediately given him the right to emancipation from financial trifling.
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There are two times in a man's life when no man counts its cost: the
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time of his serious wooing and that of his ultimate illness. Stainton
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had come to New York with a twofold purpose; he had come to bury the man
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that he had been, and he had come to woo.
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He went to his elaborate rooms to dress. For the last decade and more,
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he had not worn evening-clothes a score of times, and he now donned the
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black suit, fresh from a Fifth Avenue tailor's shop, with a care that
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was in part the result of this scant experience and in part the
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consequence of a fear of just how ridiculous the new outfit would make
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him seem. He endangered the shirt when he came to fasten it; he was
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sure that he had unnecessarily wrinkled the white waistcoat, and the tie
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occupied his bungling fingers for a full five minutes.
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His apprehensions, nevertheless, were unjustified. Something, when the
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toilet was completed, rather like a man of fashion appeared to have been
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made by the man of the needle out of the man of the pick: if the miner
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had not wholly vanished, at least the familiar of Broadway had joined
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him. Stainton, critically surveying himself in the pier-glass and
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secretly criticising his attitude of criticism, saw nothing that, to his
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unaccustomed and therefore exacting eye, presented opportunity for
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objection. The figure was heavier, more stalwart than, as he had been
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told, was for that season the mode, but the mode, that season, exacted a
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slimness that indicated the weakling. The clothes themselves were, on
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the other hand, perfection and to the point of perfection they fitted.
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The face--
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Jim Stainton, with suspended breath, drew the hanging electric-lamp
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nearer, leaned forward and studied the reflection of that face closely.
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He saw a large, well-proportioned head, the head of a man serious,
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perhaps, but admirably poised. The black hair was only sparsely
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sprinkled with gray. The deep line between the thick brows might be the
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furrow of concentration rather than the mark of years. The rugged
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features--earnest eyes of steel, strong nose, compressed lips and
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square, clean-shaven chin--were all features that, whatever the life
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they had faced, betokened stamina from the beginning. Hot suns had
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burnished his cheeks, but a hard career had entailed those abstinences
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which are among the surest warders of youth. Experience had
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strengthened, but time had been kind.
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"I am still young," he thought. "I am fifty, but I don't look forty, and
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I have the physique of twenty-five."
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He walked to the window and flung it wide.
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Below him swirled the yellow evening life of the third greatest among
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the world's great thoroughfares. Looking down from the height of his
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hotel was to Stainton like looking down upon a riverside furnace through
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its roof. Molten streams, swelling from the darker channels to the
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north, flowed along their appointed alleyways and broke and divided,
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hissing and spluttering against the pier that was the Times Building.
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And as the steam rises from the red waste that runs from the furnace
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into the river, there now rose to Stainton's desert-starved ears the
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clanging of cable-cars, the rattle of carriages, the tooting of the
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purring motors--all the humming chorus of the night-wakeful thing that
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men call New York.
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He stretched his arms apart to it. He wanted to enfold it, to inhale its
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breath, to mix with it and become lost in it. He had come back. After
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all these years, he had come back, and he had come back a victor
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unscarred.
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"I'm still young," he repeated, raising his head and spreading his
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nostrils to the damp air of the city-evening. And "Still young!" he
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continued to whisper on his way down in the elevator and through the
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crowded dining-room to his seat at a glittering table.
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A ready waiter detached himself from a group of his fellows and
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dexterously steered a rapid course, between seated diners and laden
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serving-tables, to Stainton's broad shoulder.
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Stainton was studying, with less difficulty than he had anticipated, the
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menu.
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"Soup, sir?" suggested the waiter.
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"Yes; consommé," said Stainton.
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"And a little fish, sir?"
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"No, thank you; no fish."
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"Those bass are very nice, sir. I can recommend them."
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"No, thank you, I think not. I want a steak, sirloin."
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"Rare, sir?"
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"Medium."
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"Yes, sir. And shall we say potatoes _au gratin_?"
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"No. Boiled potatoes. And French peas."
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"A little cauliflower with sauce _Hollandaise_?"
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"No. Only the steak, potatoes, and peas."
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The waiter raised his brows ever so slightly.
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"And what salad, sir?" he asked.
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"No salad, thank you."
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"Er--and about dessert?"
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"Nothing. After the meal you may bring me a demi-tasse."
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The waiter suppressed surprise. A New Yorker may dine simply, but that a
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still obvious stranger in New York should dine upon less than five
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courses--that was beyond his experience.
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"What cocktail, sir?" he enquired.
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"None," said Stainton.
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"Very good, sir. Shall I send the wine-card?"
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"No."
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Stainton spoke briefly this time, even sharply, and his tone had the
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effect that he desired for it. He ate his dinner undisturbed.
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A more pleasant disturbance than that of the waiter was, however, in
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store for him. As he left the dining-room and returned to the lobby,
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ready now for the opera, there brushed by him, _en route_ from the
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bar-room, a stout man of about thirty-five, with a round face and a high
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hat perched at the extreme rear of a head almost completely bald.
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The two looked at each other.
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"I beg your pardon," said the stranger.
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"I beg your par----" Stainton began to echo.
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But he did not finish, for the stranger, suddenly a stranger no longer,
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was fairly shouting:
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"Hello, hello, hello! What in the name of all that's----"
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Stainton's lips broke into a delighted smile, which showed square, white
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teeth.
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"Holt," he said: "George Holt!"
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"Alive and well--thanks to you, old man." Holt seized the proffered hand
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and began to pump it. "And you!" he continued. "Think of it! _You!_ I
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saw about your luck in the papers, and I meant to write. Upon my soul, I
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did. I don't know how it was I didn't----"
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"Oh, that's all right."
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"But I was glad. I never was so glad. And you're here--here in little
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old New York?"
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"So it seems."
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"For good? Of course it is. Everybody comes here to spend his money."
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"Well, I hope it's not for harm."
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Holt ceased pumping, dropped the hand, put both his hands on Stainton's
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shoulders, and held him at arm's length.
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"Great Scott, but it's good to see you again," he said. "Five years,
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isn't it?"
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"All of that."
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"And then I was out there in the last of the Wild and Woolly, and we
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were sworn brother-adventurers and all that, and you saved my life----"
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"Nonsense."
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"Yes, you did--saved my life, by the great horn spoon, just as the
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knife-claws of that big grizzly were raised to rip out what passes with
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me for a heart. I'll never forget it as long as I live."
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Stainton wished it forgotten.
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"How's the world treating you?" he asked.
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"So, so; I mean, badly. In fact, it's not treating me at all; I have to
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pay for myself, and just enough to pay and none to save, at that. But
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you--you! Oh, you lucky beast, you!" He shook Stainton by the shoulders
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and again studied his smiling face. "Good old Jim!" he said.
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Stainton's smile went somewhat awry.
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"Old?" he echoed. "Oh, I don't know."
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"What? No, of course not." Holt thrust a playful thumb between
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Stainton's ribs. "Young as ever, eh? So am I. Still, you know, time does
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pass. Oh, well, what of it? I certainly am glad to see you."
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He hooked his arm into Stainton's. "Come on and have a drink."
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"Thank you, no," said Stainton; "I scarcely ever take anything, you
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know."
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Holt, unlike the waiter, showed his disapproval.
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"I know you scarcely ever did out there." He jerked his round face in
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what he supposed was a westerly direction. "But that's over now. You
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don't have to be careful now. What's the good of being rich if you have
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to be careful?"
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"Still, I am careful," said Stainton, quietly.
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"But on this occasion? Surely not on this occasion, Jim!"
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The miner laughed freely now.
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"You always were a wonder at discovering occasions, George," he said.
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"Your occasions were as frequent as saints' days and other holidays in a
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Mexican peon's calendar."
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"And still are, thank the Lord. But to-night----Even you've got to admit
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to-night, Jim. It isn't every day in the year that a man that's saved my
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life turns up in New York with a newly discovered, warranted pure, gold
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mine in his pocket."
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This was so clearly true that Stainton capitulated, or at least
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compromised by going to the bar and drinking a thimbleful of white-mint
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while Holt, chattering like a cheerful magpie--if a magpie can be
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cheerful--consumed two long glasses of Irish whiskey with a little
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aerated water added.
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Holt made endless plans for his friend. He would "put up" Stainton's
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name at his club. He would introduce him to this personage and to that.
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He would--
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"Oh, by Jove, yes, and the women!" he interrupted himself. "You've got
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to go gently there, Jim."
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A bright tint showed on Stainton's cheeks.
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"I never----" he began.
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"Oh, not _them_!" said Holt, dismissing the entire half-world with a
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light gesture. "I know you didn't--the more fool you. But what I mean is
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the--you know: the all-righters. They'll be setting their caps at you
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worse than any of the other sort. You've got to remember that you're a
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catch."
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This was all very pleasant, and Stainton was too honest with himself not
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to admit so much.
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"Marriage," he admitted, "isn't beyond my calculations."
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"Exactly. Now, you leave that little matter to me, Jim. I know----"
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"I think that, if you don't much mind, I shall leave it to myself. There
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is no hurry, you see."
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"Um; yes. I do see. But if there's no hurry, just you wait--just you
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wait, old man, till you have seen what I can show you. New York is the
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biggest bond-market and marriage-market in the world." He looked at his
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watch. "Hello," he said: "I'll be late. Now, look here: where'll you be
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after the opera? I've got to go there. I hate it, but I have to."
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"The opera?" repeated Stainton. "The Metropolitan?"
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"Yes, sure."
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"But I'm going there myself."
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"The devil you are. Where are you?"
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Stainton produced his ticket.
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Holt glanced at it and shook his head.
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"Too close to hear," he said. "But what's the difference? We've all
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heard the confounded thing so often----"
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"I have not," said Stainton.
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"Eh? What? But it's _Madama Butterfly_, you know--Oh, yes, of course: I
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forgot. Still, what'll interest you, once you get there, will be what
|
|
interests everybody else--and that's not the stage and not the
|
|
orchestra. Now, look here: I'm with the Newberrys, you know--the Preston
|
|
Newberrys----"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you will, my boy; you will. That's just the point. We'll call a
|
|
taxi and motor there together--it's just a step to the Metropolitan--and
|
|
then, after the first act, I'll come round to you and take you over to
|
|
meet 'em. What do you say?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton said what he was expected to say, which was, of course, that he
|
|
would be delighted to meet any friends of Holt, and so it befell that
|
|
the two men went to the opera-house together and parted at the door only
|
|
with the certainty of meeting soon again.
|
|
|
|
Yet, the miner was still glowing with the thrill of his new life. "I'm
|
|
young!" he repeated to himself as he was shown to his seat. And he felt
|
|
young. He felt that he had never yet lived and that he was now about to
|
|
live; and he thanked Heaven that he had kept himself trained for the
|
|
experience.
|
|
|
|
He had dined slowly, as befits a man that has earned his leisure, and
|
|
his conversation with Holt had not been hurried. Consequently, when he
|
|
reached his place, the first act of _Madama Butterfly_ was already well
|
|
over. With the voice of Apollo and the figure of an elephant, the tenor,
|
|
bursting through the uniform of a naval officer with a corpulence that
|
|
would endanger a battleship, was engaged in that vocal assault upon a
|
|
fortress of heavy orchestration which is the penance of all that have to
|
|
sing the rôle of "Pinkerton." Stainton listened and tried to enjoy. He
|
|
listened until the curtain fell at length upon the beginning of the
|
|
inevitable tragedy, until the lights flashed up about him, and he found
|
|
himself looking straight into the eyes of a young girl in a lower box
|
|
not thirty feet away.
|
|
|
|
About him swept the broad curve of boxes that has been called "The
|
|
Diamond Horseshoe," filled with wonderful toilettes and beautiful women,
|
|
but Stainton did not see these. In the particular box toward which he
|
|
was looking there were three other people: there was a matronly woman in
|
|
what appeared to be brocade; there was a sleek, weary-eyed, elderly man,
|
|
and there was another man faintly suggested in the background, as the
|
|
lover of the mistress is faintly suggested in Da Vinci's
|
|
masterpiece--but Stainton was no more conscious of this trio than he was
|
|
of the gowns and women of the broad horseshoe. He saw, or was conscious
|
|
of seeing, only that girl.
|
|
|
|
And she was leaning far over the rail, at pause where, when their eyes
|
|
met, his intense gaze had arrested her: a young girl, scarcely eighteen
|
|
years old, her delicate, oval face full of the joy of life, aglow with
|
|
the excitement, the novelty of place, people, music. The light was upon
|
|
her--upon her slim, softly white-clad body trembling at the unguessed
|
|
portal of womanhood just as it trembled also under his gaze. She had
|
|
wonderful hair, which waved without artifice, as blue-black as a
|
|
thunder-cloud in May; she had level brows and eyes large and dark and
|
|
tender. Her lips were damp, the lower one now timidly indrawn. While he
|
|
looked at her, there awoke in Stainton the Neolithic man, the savage and
|
|
poet that sang what he felt and was unashamed to feel and sing: she was
|
|
like a Spring evening in the woods: warm and dusky and clothed in the
|
|
light of stars.
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not move, yet his heart seemed twisting in his breast. Was
|
|
he mad? Was he alive, sane, awake and in New York of to-day? If so, if
|
|
he were himself, then were the old stories true, and did the dead walk?
|
|
Sitting there, stonily, there floated through his brain a line from a
|
|
well-conceived and ill-executed poem:
|
|
|
|
"At Paris it was, at the opera there ..."
|
|
|
|
The girl was the one to break the spell. When Stainton would have ceased
|
|
looking, he could never know. But the girl flushed yet more deeply and
|
|
turned away, with a quick movement that was almost a reprimand but not
|
|
enough of a reprimand to be an acknowledgment that she was aware of him.
|
|
|
|
Jim, his own cheeks burning at the realisation of his insolence, but his
|
|
heart tumultuous for that other reason, himself started. He shifted
|
|
clumsily in his chair and so became conscious of another movement in the
|
|
box.
|
|
|
|
A man--the man that had been, at Stainton's first glimpse of the party,
|
|
dimly outlined--was disentangling himself from the background, was
|
|
bending forward to make vehement signs in Stainton's direction, was
|
|
finally, and with no end of effort on Stainton's part, assuming
|
|
recognisable shape. It was George Holt.
|
|
|
|
Holt waved his hand again and nodded toward the lobby. Then, as Stainton
|
|
nodded a tardy comprehension, he faded once more into the background of
|
|
the box.
|
|
|
|
They met a few moments later in the corridor.
|
|
|
|
"I see you found your friends," said Stainton. At least temporarily, he
|
|
had regained his self-control.
|
|
|
|
"My who? Oh, the Newberrys? Of course. Come over; you must meet them."
|
|
|
|
"The Newberrys?" Stainton looked a misapprehension.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I told you, you know. Good old Preston Newberry and his wife."
|
|
|
|
"I thought," urged Stainton, "that I saw a girl----"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, _that_?" asked Holt, recollecting with some difficulty a person of
|
|
such small importance. "That's their little Boston ward."
|
|
|
|
"What's her name?"
|
|
|
|
"Something or other. I forget. Stannard: that's it--Muriel Stannard.
|
|
She's just out of her----"
|
|
|
|
He stopped and blinked, his narrow eyes directed at Stainton, who had
|
|
lifted to his face a hand that visibly trembled.
|
|
|
|
"What's the trouble?" asked Holt. "Too used to the desert to stand our
|
|
nifty opera-house air? Don't wonder. Come out and have a drink. Plenty
|
|
of time."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Stainton. He achieved a smile. "I'm all right. Why in the
|
|
world did you think I wasn't? I'm just----She's eighteen, isn't she?"
|
|
|
|
"Who? Mrs. New----Oh, the girl? Yes, I imagine she is about that. But
|
|
she's an orphan and hasn't a cent and is too young to mix in, anyhow.
|
|
Don't you bother: she won't interfere. Come along, if you won't have a
|
|
drink, and meet the Newberrys. Mrs. Preston is every bit as good as a
|
|
Bronx cocktail, though she wouldn't be seen in the Bronx for a thousand
|
|
of 'em."
|
|
|
|
Stainton replied with compressed lips.
|
|
|
|
"I should like to meet Miss--Miss Stannard," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Miss Stannard? The youngster?" Holt broke into a laugh. "Bless my soul!
|
|
Why, she's not even out yet; and you mean to say----"
|
|
|
|
But Stainton's firm fingers had closed so sharply about Holt's arm that,
|
|
while the pain of the unexpected grip shot through him, Holt's laughter
|
|
ended in a gasp.
|
|
|
|
"Don't joke about this," commanded Stainton. "You remember that we used
|
|
to be friends."
|
|
|
|
"Sure. Aren't we friends now? What's hit you, Jim? We're friends still,
|
|
I hope. You don't think I'm likely to forget what you once did for me,
|
|
do you?"
|
|
|
|
"Very well, then: don't joke about Miss Stannard."
|
|
|
|
"No offence intended," said the perplexed Holt; "but why in thunder
|
|
shouldn't I joke about her?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton's grip loosened, and his eyes twinkled.
|
|
|
|
"After all," he said, "it must have seemed strange to you----"
|
|
|
|
"Strange? It looked like the asylum!" said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"And so," Stainton continued, "I dare say that I do owe you an
|
|
explanation." He put out his hand again, but Holt dodged.
|
|
|
|
"No more of that!" said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"All right," Stainton answered. He laid a hand on Holt's shoulder. "Can
|
|
you keep a secret, George?"
|
|
|
|
The clubman blinked in anticipation.
|
|
|
|
"Seems to me we've had a few together," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Then," said Stainton, "I'll tell you why I was a little sensitive about
|
|
comments on Miss Stannard: I am going to marry her."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
II
|
|
|
|
YOUNG BLOOD
|
|
|
|
|
|
Holt's jaw fell.
|
|
|
|
"I beg your pardon," he stammered; "but I didn't know you even knew
|
|
her."
|
|
|
|
"I have never met her," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"What? Oh, quit your jollying."
|
|
|
|
"I have never met her."
|
|
|
|
"Then--well, you _don't_ need a drink, after all."
|
|
|
|
"After all--that is, after the performance," said Stainton, "I shall
|
|
explain. Just now I want you to take me to your friends' box and present
|
|
me all round."
|
|
|
|
Holt recalled having heard that certain of the Cæsars had been driven
|
|
mad by their sudden acquisition of power. He recalled having read of
|
|
stock-gamblers that went crazy when they achieved a great coup. He
|
|
recalled having seen the Las Animas country, when the Las Animas country
|
|
was really a prospectors' bedlam, one gold-seeker that had lost his wits
|
|
in what were then the vast solitudes of the San Juan Triangle. All of
|
|
these recollections rushed in detail through a brain warped by a few
|
|
years of the most unnatural side of city life, and following them came
|
|
the realisation, as the newspapers had brought it to him, of Stainton's
|
|
unexpected success. Stainton had always, when Holt knew him in the West,
|
|
been unlike his fellows, a man aloof. Stainton had once, Holt
|
|
recollected, been practical, silent, slow; now, having come upon a gold
|
|
mine after twenty-five years of adversity, in a country more desolate
|
|
than the San Juan had ever been, this man was powerful, almost in a day,
|
|
rich. He wondered if--
|
|
|
|
But Stainton was once more smiling his old self-reliant smile.
|
|
|
|
"No," he was saying, "I am not crazy, and I am not drunk. It sounds
|
|
queer, I know----"
|
|
|
|
"Sounds! Sounds----"
|
|
|
|
"But I am sane and sober. Come along and, honestly, I'll
|
|
explain--later."
|
|
|
|
"You can't," said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"Can't what?"
|
|
|
|
"Explain. Such things can't be explained. This would balk Teddy
|
|
himself."
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, in the end Holt did what he was accustomed to doing, which
|
|
is to say that he did as he was told, and before the curtain had risen
|
|
again Stainton was in the agonies of the introduction.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Holt has just been telling us of your splendid bravery and how you
|
|
saved his life," said Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
She was a stout, uncertain nonentity, whose chief endeavours in her
|
|
narrow world were to seem as slim as she would like to be and as certain
|
|
of her social position as was proper for a woman of moderate
|
|
antecedents, who had married a membership in Manhattan's three most
|
|
difficult clubs. What, of course, she had been thinking was not at all
|
|
about Stainton's bravery: it was, rather, that Stainton had become quite
|
|
rich quite romantically, and that he was not the rough diamond which
|
|
tradition demanded.
|
|
|
|
Stainton took all this for granted and, knowing not what to say in
|
|
reply, bowed and said nothing.
|
|
|
|
"Glad to know you," was what Newberry said: and he presently added: "The
|
|
cast's in rotten voice to-night. Sit down."
|
|
|
|
Newberry, the sleek, weary-eyed elderly man, whom Stainton had barely
|
|
noticed in his first survey of the box, was the membership in New York's
|
|
three most difficult clubs. He had inherited money without brains, had
|
|
sought to adjust matters by marrying brains without money, and had been
|
|
intellectually disappointed.
|
|
|
|
To him in turn Stainton bowed in silence. His eyes were on the girl, and
|
|
the girl's slim back was set resolutely toward him.
|
|
|
|
There was an awkward pause. Nobody seemed to remember Muriel. At length
|
|
Holt, still in terror, blundered forward.
|
|
|
|
"Miss Muriel----" he began.
|
|
|
|
The girl turned. The glory of her warm eyes brushed Stainton's face and
|
|
passed it.
|
|
|
|
"I am Miss Stannard," she said. "It is good of you to join us. Do sit
|
|
down, Mr. Stainton."
|
|
|
|
Stainton sat down. He sat down directly behind her, and at last,
|
|
politely unencouraging though she at first managed to remain, he
|
|
succeeded in gaining some sort of conversational opening.
|
|
|
|
What did he say there, for the early ten minutes of their talk? He was
|
|
unable at any later date to recall one word of it. Everything, he was
|
|
sure, that was clumsy. As a matter of fact, his own speech was probably
|
|
by no means so uncouth as his torturing fancy declared it, hers by no
|
|
means so brilliant as his memory, which retained no souvenirs, insisted.
|
|
More likely than not, their talk fulfilled the requirements of
|
|
convention. Convention requires the commonplace.
|
|
|
|
Nobody paid any but sporadic attention to the opera. To the left of the
|
|
girl and Stainton, Mrs. Newberry and her husband, a Dido matched to a
|
|
Don Juan, exchanged low monosyllables with each other and darting
|
|
exchanges of talk, like rallies at badminton, with Holt. Sometimes they
|
|
were ill-mannered enough to converse in whispers, near Stainton's
|
|
shoulder, but mostly Mrs. Newberry was laboriously conventional, out of
|
|
a constant fear of being adjudged plebeian, and now and again, to
|
|
Stainton's huge disgust, she would lean to confer a word on her niece
|
|
and her niece's companion.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you care for opera," she said to Stainton in one of these
|
|
sallies.
|
|
|
|
"I hope to," replied the miner, guardedly.
|
|
|
|
"Though of course," pursued Mrs. Newberry, "this is rather an off
|
|
evening. The cast led us to expect so much, but they all seem to be in
|
|
such poor voice."
|
|
|
|
Stainton made a civil noise.
|
|
|
|
"Apart from the music," his hostess continued, "I dare say that the
|
|
stage doesn't appeal to you."
|
|
|
|
"I have had very little chance to know it," said Stainton, "but I am
|
|
fond of it."
|
|
|
|
"Indeed?" Mrs. Newberry's tone indicated that she was mildly interested
|
|
in meeting a tamed adventurer. "But I should suppose that it would all
|
|
seem so false to you. It must seem false, I should think, to anyone that
|
|
has known so much of--of Real Life, you know; and dear Mr. Holt has
|
|
given us _such_ descriptions of your romantic career."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's disavowal of this apparent praise of his career was earnest,
|
|
but not convincing.
|
|
|
|
"My life has seemed dull to me," he said, with a deadly glance at dear
|
|
Mr. Holt, grinning in the background.
|
|
|
|
Holt tried to change the subject.
|
|
|
|
"At all events, this is a romantic episode for you, isn't it?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean?" snapped Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Oh," Holt hurried to explain, "all this." He indicated the audience
|
|
with the sweep of a plump hand.
|
|
|
|
"It is new," granted Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Holt edged his chair forward.
|
|
|
|
"Of course it is, and whatever's new's romantic. That's all romance is,
|
|
isn't it, Miss Muriel?"
|
|
|
|
The girl had been listening to the music, her dark eyes, veiled by their
|
|
long lashes, fixed on nothing.
|
|
|
|
"Is it?" she enquired.
|
|
|
|
"Sure it is," said Holt. "Now, Jim, you're in the crowd you read about.
|
|
You ought to get us to point 'em out to you."
|
|
|
|
"The woman just next," whispered Mrs. Newberry--"the one in
|
|
forget-me-not blue, draped with chiffon and crystal trimmings--don't you
|
|
see? The bodice is finished with crystal fringe----"
|
|
|
|
"I'm afraid----" said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Preston Newberry explained.
|
|
|
|
"Girl with yellow hair," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"That," Mrs. Newberry went on, "is Dora van Rooz. She was a Huyghens,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"I'm afraid I don't read the society-columns," Stainton apologised.
|
|
|
|
"Dora's not confining herself to them," said Newberry. "She and van Rooz
|
|
are calling each other names in the divorce-court now."
|
|
|
|
"And just beyond," Mrs. Newberry ran on, "in the American beauty satin
|
|
veiled in ninon--there: her waist is embroidered with beads and rows of
|
|
silver lace; you can't see very well in this light."
|
|
|
|
"Girl with the fine nose," Preston elucidated.
|
|
|
|
"I see."
|
|
|
|
"That's Mrs. Billy Merton. You must have heard of her. She divorced Clem
|
|
Davis last month and married Billy the next day."
|
|
|
|
She rattled on for some time, ceasing her chatter only for brief pauses,
|
|
at intervals unconsciously regulated by her long acquaintance with the
|
|
opera and its finer moments. The strains of the beautiful music seemed
|
|
to Stainton to be a loveliness unworthily draping, on the stage, the
|
|
story of a base man's perfidy; and the pleasant indiscretions of the
|
|
fashionable opera-gowns to be clothing, in the audience, none but women
|
|
that had already stripped their souls in one or other of the scandalous
|
|
rituals imposed by modern law for the dissolution of the most private of
|
|
relationships.
|
|
|
|
He made but brief answers, and he was unfeignedly relieved when his poor
|
|
responsiveness forced Mrs. Newberry to retreat and left him free again
|
|
with Muriel. He looked frank admiration at her level brows, her dark
|
|
eyes, and her full lips. Here, he assured himself, was innocence: her
|
|
face was her young soul made visible.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps, as she pretended, it was his distress at her aunt's garrulity;
|
|
for it must have been evident to her. Perhaps it was the dropped hint of
|
|
his adventurous life; for women are all Desdemonas at heart. Perhaps it
|
|
was only his patent worship of her beauty; since we are all assailable
|
|
through this sort of compliment to whatever of our charms we are least
|
|
responsible for. Perhaps it was all or none of these things. In any
|
|
case, as Mrs. Newberry retired to a continuation of her gossip with
|
|
Holt, broken only by the terser remarks of Newberry, Muriel bent a
|
|
little closer to Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"You don't care a bit about such things, do you?" she enquired.
|
|
|
|
Her tone was lower than when she had last spoken. It was low enough to
|
|
draw the curtain of confidence between them and their companions, with
|
|
that subtle quality that takes account of but one listener.
|
|
|
|
Stainton's pulses leaped.
|
|
|
|
"About what things?" was all that he was at first able to say.
|
|
|
|
The girl smiled. Stainton thought her smile wistful.
|
|
|
|
"The sort that fill these boxes," said Muriel: "the sort, I dare say,
|
|
that uncle and aunt and Mr. Holt and I are."
|
|
|
|
He heard a shimmering sprite of regret in her voice: regret not that he
|
|
did not care for these people, but that these people should be what they
|
|
were.
|
|
|
|
"Don't include yourself in this lot," he answered.
|
|
|
|
He was immediately aware that his reply was scarcely courteous to his
|
|
hosts, and so was she.
|
|
|
|
"You are hard on them," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Hadn't you just been hard on them, too?" he countered.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, yes, but they are my relatives. At least Uncle Preston and Aunt
|
|
Ethel are. Family criticism is permitted everywhere."
|
|
|
|
He did not like her schoolgirlish attempt at epigram, and he showed his
|
|
disapproval.
|
|
|
|
"Now you are trying to be of a piece with them," he said.
|
|
|
|
The glance that she gave him was no longer calm: there was a flash of
|
|
flame in it.
|
|
|
|
"You talk as if you had known me for years."
|
|
|
|
"For thirty years."
|
|
|
|
"Yes?" She did not understand.
|
|
|
|
"I have known you for thirty years."
|
|
|
|
What sort of man was this? "But I am only eighteen," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Nevertheless, I have known you for thirty years."
|
|
|
|
She gave an empty glance at her programme.
|
|
|
|
"Since you were in pinafores," she said, still looking down.
|
|
|
|
Stainton bit his lip. There had been no malice in her tone, yet all
|
|
children are cruel, he reflected, and the modern child's cruelty is
|
|
ingenious. Was there anything in that speech for her to be sorry for,
|
|
and, if there were, would she be sorry?
|
|
|
|
"Some day," he said quietly, "I shall try to explain."
|
|
|
|
She regarded him again, this time with altered gaze.
|
|
|
|
"Some day," she said, "I hope you will tell me about that romantic
|
|
career that Aunt Ethel was talking of."
|
|
|
|
Was she sorry? Was she interested?
|
|
|
|
"It's not romantic," he protested. "It isn't in the least romantic. It's
|
|
just a story of hard work and disappointment, and hard work and
|
|
success."
|
|
|
|
"But Mr. Holt told us that in one month you were condemned to
|
|
death for piracy in Central America and acted--what do they call
|
|
it?--floor-manager for a firemen's ball in Denver."
|
|
|
|
"George has been dipping his brush in earthquake and eclipse. He never
|
|
knew me till he met me in the West five or six years ago. I was
|
|
condemned for piracy _in absentio_ by a Spanish-American court because I
|
|
had a job as cook on a filibustering ship that was wrecked off Yucatan
|
|
and never got any nearer to shore, and I was floor-manager at the
|
|
firemen's ball because--well, because I happened to belong to a
|
|
fire-company."
|
|
|
|
"But you did have adventures in Alaska and Colorado and New Mexico?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I've knocked about a bit."
|
|
|
|
"And----" Her lips were parted, her eyes large. She no longer heard the
|
|
voices on the stage. "Did you ever----Mr. Holt said you once shot----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Stainton, gravely, "I think I once killed a man."
|
|
|
|
She clasped her hands on the railing of the box.
|
|
|
|
"Tell me about it," she commanded. Her tone was a compliment.
|
|
|
|
"There's nothing to tell. It was in an Alaskan mining-camp. The man was
|
|
drunk and armed. He attacked me, and I had to defend myself. He shot
|
|
twice before I shot at all, but I hit and he didn't. I'm sorry I had to
|
|
do it to remain alive, but I'm not sorry to have remained alive."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," she cried, petulantly, "you are _so_ matter-of-fact!"
|
|
|
|
"Not nearly so matter-of-fact as you suppose. Not in the important
|
|
things. In business, in everyday life, a man has to be matter-of-fact.
|
|
It's the only method to get what you want."
|
|
|
|
"Do you really think so?" She appealed to him now as to a well of
|
|
knowledge. Perhaps, he reflected, she had about her ordinarily few wells
|
|
to which she was permitted so to appeal. "Then maybe that is why I don't
|
|
get what I want."
|
|
|
|
"Surely you have all you want."
|
|
|
|
She shook her raven hair. "Not any of it."
|
|
|
|
"And you want?"
|
|
|
|
"Lots of things."
|
|
|
|
"For instance?"
|
|
|
|
She smiled, but was firm. "No, I sha'n't tell you."
|
|
|
|
"Not one?"
|
|
|
|
"Not now."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps they are not always the sort of things that you ought to have."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, they are."
|
|
|
|
"All of them?"
|
|
|
|
Her nod was positive: "All."
|
|
|
|
"But, whether you ought to have them or not, are you equally sure that
|
|
they would be worth possessing?"
|
|
|
|
"How can I know till I have had them?"
|
|
|
|
"Easily. There are two ways of learning the value of anything we want:
|
|
one is to get it, the other to lose it."
|
|
|
|
"We're crabbed against the things we miss."
|
|
|
|
"Are we? I don't know. Even if we are, there's a good deal to be said in
|
|
favour of the comfort that lies in the philosophy of sour grapes."
|
|
|
|
She did not wholly follow him, but she was clear on the chief point. "It
|
|
doesn't make me feel any more contented," she said, "to believe that I
|
|
wouldn't have been happy if I had got something that I wanted to get and
|
|
didn't."
|
|
|
|
Stainton shook his head.
|
|
|
|
"Some time," he said, "that belief will be your greatest comfort."
|
|
|
|
Muriel looked away. She was revolving this problem in her youthful mind,
|
|
and when she replied it was by the _argumentum ad hominem_, which is an
|
|
excellent argument and generally _ab femina_.
|
|
|
|
"You have been successful," she began. "If you had not been, would it
|
|
have made you more contented to believe that success wouldn't have
|
|
brought you happiness?"
|
|
|
|
"I was thinking," said Stainton, "of something in the past, something
|
|
that I didn't get, and something that was not a business matter." He
|
|
spoke slowly.
|
|
|
|
She understood.
|
|
|
|
"I'm sorry," she said, softly.
|
|
|
|
"No, no," he smiled. "In point of fact, whenever I failed in prospecting
|
|
I did try to think that money would not have made me happy. But you may
|
|
be right, for I always started prospecting again."
|
|
|
|
"And now?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, now," said Stainton, with a concluding smile, "I am trying hard to
|
|
resist the manifold temptations of good fortune."
|
|
|
|
As he spoke, the curtain was falling on the tragic termination of
|
|
_Madama Butterfly_. The Newberrys and their guests rose as the curtain
|
|
fell, and Stainton held her cloak for Muriel. Newberry was gasping his
|
|
way into his own coat, and Holt was holding for Mrs. Newberry a gorgeous
|
|
Japanese kimono absurdly reminiscent of the opera to which they had not
|
|
listened; but Muriel's cloak was a simple and beautiful garment in
|
|
Stainton's eyes, a grey garment lined with satin of the colour of
|
|
old-fashioned roses. As she got into it--"Oh, it's quite easy," she
|
|
said--his awkward hand was brushed by her cheek, and he bent his head,
|
|
certain of being unobserved in that hurry to depart wherewith the
|
|
average American opera-audience expresses its opinion of the average
|
|
operatic performance, and inhaled the perfume of her hair. His hands
|
|
shook.
|
|
|
|
With Holt he saw their hosts to their motor.
|
|
|
|
"Aren't you coming home with us for supper?" asked Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
But Holt, who was abominably curious, wished to quiz Stainton, and
|
|
Stainton, with the wisdom of his years, knew that enough had been done
|
|
for an initial evening.
|
|
|
|
"No, thanks," Stainton allowed Holt to say; "we've just met after five
|
|
years, you know, and we've got no end of things to talk about."
|
|
|
|
Ethel Newberry leaned forward and pressed Stainton's hand.
|
|
|
|
"You will look us up soon?" she politely enquired.
|
|
|
|
"Indeed, yes," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Always glad to see you," said Newberry.
|
|
|
|
Muriel said nothing, but Stainton pressed warmly the little hand that
|
|
she unreservedly offered.
|
|
|
|
"Good-night," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Good-night," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
No, thought Stainton, as he reluctantly turned away with Holt, in spite
|
|
of her caustic reference to his age, she must be merely an impulsive,
|
|
innocent girl. He was glad to come to this determination, glad, however,
|
|
simply because it was what he concluded must be a final answer to a
|
|
question that had already become annoying.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
III
|
|
|
|
EN GARDE, MONSIEUR!
|
|
|
|
|
|
As the motor swerved away from them, making for the up-channel of
|
|
Broadway, Holt seized Stainton's arm, and began to pilot him through the
|
|
crowd.
|
|
|
|
"Now," said he, "will you _please_ tell me what the----"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Stainton, "I won't. Not yet."
|
|
|
|
"But you promised----"
|
|
|
|
"I know that. Only wait until we get to a quieter place than this. You
|
|
can scarcely expect me to call out such things for all New York to
|
|
hear."
|
|
|
|
They freed themselves of the whirlpool around the opera-house and began
|
|
to walk northward.
|
|
|
|
Stainton was looking about him with the eyes of a man that has been for
|
|
years in prison and has but just returned to his native town. He was not
|
|
a New Yorker by birth, and he had never known the city well, but he had
|
|
always loved it and through all his western exile he had dreamed of this
|
|
triumphal return. He soon seemed to have forgotten the puzzle that he
|
|
had agreed to explain to his friend.
|
|
|
|
"It's the same," he said, his gaze darting about the scurrying street,
|
|
pausing now and again to rest on this or that building new to him
|
|
although already old to Broadway. "It's still the same, and yet it's
|
|
new--all new.--What's that place, the one over there on the corner?"
|
|
|
|
Holt grudgingly told him.
|
|
|
|
"Fresh?" asked Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Five years old," said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"And that?--And that?"
|
|
|
|
Again Holt supplied the information thus requested.
|
|
|
|
"I think that New York is alive," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you never thought it was Philadelphia, did you?"
|
|
|
|
"I mean that the city itself is a living thing, a gigantic organism. You
|
|
know they say a man changes, atom by atom, so that, every seven years,
|
|
he is a fresh being, and yet remains the same being. I believe that is
|
|
true of some cities and most of all of New York."
|
|
|
|
Holt slapped him on the back.
|
|
|
|
"Good old Jim!" said Holt.
|
|
|
|
The careless words turned Stainton to matters more personal.
|
|
|
|
"Confound it," he said, only half-good-naturedly, "I wish you wouldn't
|
|
call me old. I'm not."
|
|
|
|
"Of course," said Holt, "not old. Did I say old? Why, you're younger
|
|
than ever, and a grand slam younger than I'll ever be again."
|
|
|
|
Stainton regarded this man of thirty-odd with whom, for a short time, he
|
|
had been once so fast a friend and whom New York had so speedily
|
|
converted into a corpulent, smug, bald-headed dandy. It would, indeed,
|
|
be a pity if Stainton at fifty were not younger than Holt at
|
|
thirty-five. And yet Holt had referred to the prematurely withered
|
|
Newberry as "Old Newberry" much as he had now spoken of the miner as
|
|
"Old Stainton"!
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you," said Stainton: "you have reached the age at which a man
|
|
doesn't object to being called old."
|
|
|
|
The cheerful Holt snorted. "All right," he said. "Now we're just off the
|
|
Lobster Coast. Let's look about for a harbour and a likely place to eat
|
|
and hear the sad story of your life."
|
|
|
|
They found it, although it is always a difficult task for a New Yorker
|
|
to decide which of a hundred anxious restaurants he will at any given
|
|
time pay to poison him; and, while Stainton's eyes went wide with wonder
|
|
at the place, Holt, amid the muddy mill-race of his customary talk where
|
|
bobbed only an occasional chip of clean English, piloted the way into
|
|
the selected eating and drinking place. It was one of those gilded
|
|
khans, each more gilded than the last, which, in the neighbourhood of
|
|
Broadway and Forty-Second Street, spring up like grass beside a country
|
|
road, last about as long as the grass, and, once gone, are about as long
|
|
remembered. Here, at a corner table, Holt, within a few minutes, was
|
|
drinking rapid glasses of Irish whiskey and soda, while Stainton slowly
|
|
sipped at a glass filled from a half-bottle of champagne.
|
|
|
|
"Now, then," said Holt: "your story. For Heaven's sake have pity on a
|
|
suffering fellow-creature!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton considered.
|
|
|
|
"Of course," he said, "this is confidential."
|
|
|
|
"Of course."
|
|
|
|
"I shouldn't tell it, George, if it weren't that I had betrayed part of
|
|
it in a moment of excitement----"
|
|
|
|
"Excitement? Well, I suppose that's what some call it."
|
|
|
|
"And so," pursued Stainton, "made such an ass of myself----"
|
|
|
|
"Now you're getting down to facts," Holt agreed.
|
|
|
|
"In the first place," said Stainton, "I repeat that I am not crazy."
|
|
|
|
"Then I am," said Holt with conviction.
|
|
|
|
"You are the best judge of that, George."
|
|
|
|
Holt smiled.
|
|
|
|
"Wait a bit," said Stainton. "I wouldn't be surprised, George, if you
|
|
were a trifle mad; as for me, just make up your mind that J. G. Stainton
|
|
is sane."
|
|
|
|
"That's what they all say," Holt interposed. "Bellevue's full of men
|
|
that are sane. Still, anything to get on with your story: sane you are."
|
|
|
|
"No, you mustn't grant it that way. I want you to draw your conclusions
|
|
from what I am going to tell you."
|
|
|
|
Holt groaned.
|
|
|
|
"All right; all right," he said, "but for Heaven's sake _tell_ it!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton settled himself in his chair. He lit a cigar.
|
|
|
|
"I have to begin," he said, "at the beginning. The average man's
|
|
biography is the story of an internecine war, a war between his heart
|
|
and his head, and the heart generally wins. What has won with me, you
|
|
may, as I said, judge for yourself. My father was a doctor in one of
|
|
those little towns that are scattered about Boston in the way that the
|
|
smaller drops of ink are scattered about the big splash on a blotter. My
|
|
mother died when I was born. The governor didn't have a big practice,
|
|
but it was a steady one, and, if he was the sort that would never be
|
|
rich, at least he promised to be the sort that would never starve. What
|
|
he mostly wanted was to send me to Harvard, and then to make a surgeon
|
|
of me."
|
|
|
|
"I knew you must have had a good coach in bandaging," said Holt.
|
|
|
|
Stainton disregarded this reference to the grizzly.
|
|
|
|
"I could never make out," he resumed, "why so many parents think they
|
|
have a right to determine their children's tastes and trades. That
|
|
tendency is one of our several modern forms of slavery. Most men seem to
|
|
assume that Fate, by making them fathers through no will of their own,
|
|
has played them a low trick, and that they are therefore right in
|
|
revenging themselves on Fate by training their sons into being exactly
|
|
the sort of men that they themselves have been, so that Fate will thus
|
|
be forced, you see, to do the same thing all over again."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see," said Holt. "But don't mind me."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. I am not condemning my father. He was without conscious
|
|
malice, and he did his best, poor man. I dare say, after all, that he
|
|
was like most of us: so thoroughly pleased with his own life that he
|
|
couldn't imagine doing any better for the world than giving it another
|
|
life of precisely the same kind. Anyhow, I never was intended by nature
|
|
for a doctor, still less for a surgeon, as you will see. The truth is, I
|
|
was afraid."
|
|
|
|
"Afraid? _You!_" Holt laughed at the idea. "I don't believe it," he
|
|
said.
|
|
|
|
"I was. I was afraid of two things: old age and death. They were the
|
|
twin horrors of my boyhood. They are still my twin horrors."
|
|
|
|
"Then, considering how you have run after death and sidestepped old age,
|
|
it looks to me as if----"
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, George; but, if you will only listen a little longer, I
|
|
think you will understand. While I was still very small, my father--he
|
|
drove about on his professional calls in a buggy: the old-fashioned
|
|
way--was kicked in the head by his horse. He never really recovered, and
|
|
yet, for a long time, he was not in a condition that peremptorily
|
|
demanded treatment. What actually resulted was a disease rare enough, I
|
|
dare say, but quite well known: he developed premature and rapid
|
|
senility. It all happened, once it got under way, in six months. In that
|
|
time I saw him--I, a mere boy--become, day by day, a doting idiot.
|
|
|
|
"Young as I was, I called in, of my own initiative, a Boston specialist.
|
|
|
|
"'There is nothing to do, my boy,' he told me, 'except wait for the end.
|
|
Meanwhile make your father as comfortable as you can. What you see going
|
|
on in him is just what begins to go on in every human being from the
|
|
moment of birth: Old Age. Here, of course, it is specialised and
|
|
malignantly accelerated. It is senility; that is to say, it is, though
|
|
here abnormally magnified, an essentially normal phenomenon. Old age, my
|
|
boy; old age.'"
|
|
|
|
Stainton wet his lips with wine.
|
|
|
|
"I can see the specialist yet as he said it," he presently went on, "and
|
|
I am not likely to forget what it made me feel. There must have been
|
|
some neighbour about at the time, or the housekeeper, but it remains in
|
|
my memory as an interview between him and me alone. I did the only thing
|
|
to be done: I bore it. I hated to have my father sent to an
|
|
institution--which shows that I was very young indeed,--and so I simply
|
|
nursed him along, the housekeeper and I doing the best we could.
|
|
|
|
"It was ugly, and it got worse every day. We could see it get worse. It
|
|
was--it was Hell. There are things, lots of them, about it that I just
|
|
couldn't tell you. I lived in a fascinated terror, and all the time I
|
|
kept saying to myself:
|
|
|
|
"'This is the same thing that's going on in everyone I see. It's going
|
|
on in me. It's getting farther and farther along in me with every tick
|
|
of my watch. It's what is crawling toward me out of the dark corners of
|
|
the years to come.'"
|
|
|
|
Stainton stopped again, barely to sip his champagne.
|
|
|
|
"That," he said, "is how I came to be afraid of Old Age."
|
|
|
|
Holt shuffled his feet.
|
|
|
|
"A horse-kick isn't hereditary," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Wait," said Stainton. He put aside his extinguished cigar and resumed:
|
|
"One by one I saw my father's powers fade. I could check them off as
|
|
they went; powers we are all so used to that we don't know how dependent
|
|
we are on them: niceties of the palate, differentiation between pleasant
|
|
odours and unpleasant, delicacies of sight, distinctness of hearing,
|
|
steadiness, the control of muscles that we are normally unconscious of
|
|
controlling. These things go, slowly--very slowly--in each of us, and
|
|
when they are gone, even when they are partly gone, when we never guess
|
|
that they are gone, but when people about us detect our condition and
|
|
comment on it, without our so much as dreaming of it----"
|
|
|
|
He stopped again, and again went on:
|
|
|
|
"Then there's Death," he said, with an abrupt change. "Did you ever see
|
|
anybody die, Holt?"
|
|
|
|
Holt shook his bald head. He did not like this sort of thing.
|
|
|
|
"No," he admitted.
|
|
|
|
"Not your parents?"
|
|
|
|
"No; my father died when I was away at school, and my mother during my
|
|
first trip abroad."
|
|
|
|
"Well," continued Stainton, "it is not pretty. We hear a lot of talk
|
|
about the dignity and serenity and nobility of death. Nothing to that.
|
|
Absolutely nothing. Every doctor and nurse I've ever questioned agrees:
|
|
it is always a horrible wrench accompanied by details that are
|
|
disgusting. There are subsidiary manifestations.--There is no dignity in
|
|
terror; there is no serenity in pain. My father----I was looking towards
|
|
him through the garden window. The window was open. He had found a
|
|
razor. A dull razor. He may have had some idea that he was shaving. He
|
|
cut his throat from ear to ear. Jugular; carotid; pneumogastric nerve. I
|
|
remember the queer gurgle and the----
|
|
|
|
"Do you wonder that I came to be as much afraid of death as I was of old
|
|
age? I lay awake nights, I tell you--nights and nights--interminable
|
|
nights, thinking, shaking.
|
|
|
|
"It all ended only after years of fighting and one horrid failure. There
|
|
was a girl--it was a good many years ago, and I had just graduated from
|
|
Harvard. I fell in love with her. Her people wanted her to marry a
|
|
cousin, but I think she really wanted to marry me. At any rate, one day,
|
|
when we were skating together, the ice broke beneath her feet, and into
|
|
the cold black water we both went.
|
|
|
|
"It seemed to me that I was hours going down--down, and that I was still
|
|
longer coming up. The old fears got me. I went through all the agonies
|
|
of realisation. When my head rose above water I grabbed at the ice, and
|
|
it cracked to little bits between my fingers. I felt myself sinking
|
|
again, and just then she--the girl I was in love with--flung an arm
|
|
toward me. I shoved her away.
|
|
|
|
"We were both rescued. There were lots of people about, the water wasn't
|
|
very deep, and there had been only a small percentage of risk. It would
|
|
have been, had I not known what death really meant, the chance of a
|
|
lifetime for a rogue to play the hero. But, you see, I was too much
|
|
afraid of death. I had flung her off to save my own skin, and she
|
|
neither forgot nor forgave.
|
|
|
|
"She wouldn't, of course, have anything more to do with me. She threw me
|
|
over, as she had every good reason to. I cleared out and went West. She
|
|
married the cousin and eighteen years ago--so I heard long after her
|
|
marriage--she died as my mother had died--in childbirth."
|
|
|
|
Stainton slowly refilled his glass.
|
|
|
|
Holt shook from him the gloom of the earlier portion of Stainton's
|
|
narrative. He became once more interested in the manner in which he was
|
|
accustomed to be interested.
|
|
|
|
"You certainly cured yourself out West," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Of my twin horrors?" enquired Stainton. "I tried to. That is why people
|
|
thought me brave, when they didn't think me rash. I took myself by the
|
|
shoulders. I said to myself: 'There are two things that you must do.
|
|
First, you must get over showing your fear of death. Next, you must live
|
|
in such a way as to postpone old age to the farthest possible limit. In
|
|
order to accomplish this postponement, in order to approach old age
|
|
gently and in sound condition, you must make enough money to guarantee
|
|
you a quiet, unworried life from the age of forty-five or fifty.'"
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Holt, "you've done it."
|
|
|
|
"You know what psychologists tell you about apparitions?" said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Not me. I don't go in for spooks."
|
|
|
|
"They say, George, that if you think you see a ghost and at once run
|
|
away from it, you will be seeing ghosts forever after; but that if, at
|
|
the first glimpse of your first ghost, you will only grip your nerves,
|
|
walk up to him and touch him, you will find that he is only your
|
|
yesterday's suit flung on a chair and forgotten, or a sheet flapping
|
|
from a clothesline, or something else commonplace seen only in a
|
|
different light, and that thereafter you will never again see a ghost."
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Holt, "do they?"
|
|
|
|
"That principle," said Stainton, "I tried in regard to my fear of death.
|
|
I couldn't do it with old age, but I could do it with death, and I did.
|
|
I began by taking small risks. Then I took greater ones, and at last I
|
|
would deliberately court destruction--or appear to. The outcome was
|
|
that, by the time you came to know me, I could do the sort of things you
|
|
admired me for."
|
|
|
|
"Without turning a hair," Holt added. "You'd got your nerve back. You'd
|
|
become a brave man."
|
|
|
|
"No," defined Stainton, "I had become only a man that could conceal his
|
|
cowardice. I am still, in my heart, as much afraid of death as I ever
|
|
was."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe you," said Holt, more warmly; "and I'll bet you did
|
|
even better with the other scarecrow."
|
|
|
|
"Old age?" Stainton's clear eyes snapped. "I had to go at that in
|
|
another way, but there at least I have succeeded. George, I have trained
|
|
like a Spartan. I have lived like a monk----"
|
|
|
|
"Don't I know it, Jim? Remember that night I tried to lure you into the
|
|
dance-hall at Durango?"
|
|
|
|
"I have kept hard and keen and clean," said Stainton. "I have got
|
|
myself--you can guess by what denials and sacrifice and fights--into the
|
|
shape where the fear of senility, of loss or depreciation of my powers,
|
|
is reduced to the irreducible minimum." He spoke a little boastfully,
|
|
but so earnestly that there was, in tone or words, no hint of the prig.
|
|
"Tap that," he said.
|
|
|
|
He expanded his wide chest. He offered his biceps to Holt's
|
|
congratulatory fingers. He filled his glass to the brim and balanced it,
|
|
at arm's length, on the palm of his hand without spilling a drop of the
|
|
wine.
|
|
|
|
"I went this morning," he said joyously, "to the best doctor in this New
|
|
York of yours. That fellow went over me with all the latest
|
|
disease-detecting and age-detecting machinery known to science."
|
|
|
|
"Well?" asked Holt.
|
|
|
|
"He said that I was to all intents and purposes not a day over
|
|
twenty-five."
|
|
|
|
Holt nodded approval.
|
|
|
|
"And you've kept your heart and mind as young as you've kept your body;
|
|
that's a cinch," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Younger," declared Stainton. "I have had to fight there harder than
|
|
anywhere else, but I have won. In spite of that first love
|
|
disappointment, in spite of friends that have gone back on me now and
|
|
then, in spite of rough work in rough places and among rough men, in
|
|
spite of money lost and money won, I have kept on believing. I was
|
|
saying to someone else this evening that there was comfort in the
|
|
philosophy of the sour-grapes, but I didn't really mean it. At any rate,
|
|
I never followed the sour-grape school. I have just believed. That is
|
|
the whole secret of it, George; all that you have to do is to say to
|
|
yourself; 'I don't care; I won't doubt. I _believe_ in the world; I
|
|
believe in Man.'"
|
|
|
|
Holt smiled.
|
|
|
|
"Wait till you know New York," said he.
|
|
|
|
"I am doubt-proof," answered Stainton. "I am immune."
|
|
|
|
"And so----" urged Holt, dropping this phase of the subject and
|
|
reverting to Preston Newberry's niece.
|
|
|
|
"And so," Stainton took him up, "I decided to marry, sell my mine as
|
|
soon as a good offer comes and be easy. I came to New York. I went
|
|
to-night to the opera." His voice grew unaffectedly softer. "And at the
|
|
opera," he said, "I saw the girl that I had loved all those years ago;
|
|
that dead girl come to life again; not a curve altered, not a tint
|
|
faded; not a day older. I knew, in a flash, that it must be my old
|
|
sweetheart's daughter. And it was."
|
|
|
|
"What? Muriel Stannard?"
|
|
|
|
"Whose mother was Muriel Benson. Precisely."
|
|
|
|
Holt whistled softly.
|
|
|
|
"Well?" asked he.
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Stainton, "I intend to marry her."
|
|
|
|
For a moment Holt made no comment. Then he coughed and finally, as his
|
|
dry cough produced no visible effect, he broke forth:
|
|
|
|
"But, Jim----"
|
|
|
|
There he stopped.
|
|
|
|
Stainton looked at him enquiringly.
|
|
|
|
"Yes?"
|
|
|
|
"But, Jim, you--you----Oh, what's the use!"
|
|
|
|
"Of course it sounds unusual, to you," admitted Stainton, "but to me it
|
|
is all simple enough."
|
|
|
|
Holt took a deep pull at his glass.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, it's simple, all right," said he. "It's so simple it's artless."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's iron-grey brows drew together. "I don't understand."
|
|
|
|
"Of course it sounds unusual to you," admitted Holt. "If you did
|
|
understand, you wouldn't do this thing. You don't understand; you can't,
|
|
and that's just the pity of the whole business." Like all men of his
|
|
stripe, he gathered both conviction and courage from the sound of his
|
|
own voice. "You've lived in the desert and such places like a
|
|
what-do-y'-call-it--anchorite--and had opium-dreams without the fun of a
|
|
smoke."
|
|
|
|
Stainton stiffened.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't ask your advice," said he.
|
|
|
|
"You wanted it," Holt ventured.
|
|
|
|
"I don't mind your giving it if it amuses you," said Stainton, shrugging
|
|
his shoulders; "but I am quite clear on one point: you are what most
|
|
city-bred men are: you have looked so hard after happiness that, when
|
|
you see it, you can't enjoy it."
|
|
|
|
"Am I?" The liquor was burning in Holt's eyes. "Perhaps I am, but that
|
|
rule works two ways. Some fellows don't look hard enough. I don't know,
|
|
but I imagine if a man never uses his eyes he goes blind."
|
|
|
|
Stainton, who had carried a few of his books to the West with him,
|
|
wanted to quote Cicero: "_Sis a veneris amoribus aversus; quibus si te
|
|
dedideris, non aliud quidquam possis cogitare quam illud quod diligis._"
|
|
All that he said, however, was:
|
|
|
|
"I have tried to live in such a way that I may be fit to look a good
|
|
woman in the face."
|
|
|
|
"What man alive is fit to do that?" Holt answered.
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not directly reply, and Holt, somewhat put out by the
|
|
merely silent opposition, found himself a little at a loss.
|
|
|
|
"You don't want to tie up with a kid," he nevertheless endeavoured to
|
|
proceed. "That's what it really amounts to. What you want is a woman, a
|
|
ripe one. If you're going to live in the swim, you need somebody that
|
|
can teach you the stroke. You want somebody with the _entrée_, somebody
|
|
that can run your house in the Avenue or the Drive and isn't afraid of a
|
|
man in livery."
|
|
|
|
"Put my servants in livery?" Stainton was indulgent, but he added: "To
|
|
make clowns of your fellow men--really I think that's a sin against
|
|
God."
|
|
|
|
"All right," said Holt; "but you're in love with an idea. Not even a
|
|
girl, mind you: an idea. Well, you mark my words: it's a cinch that two
|
|
people who haven't anything to do but tell each other how much they
|
|
love each other are bound, soon enough, to exhaust the subject and begin
|
|
to want something else to talk about."
|
|
|
|
"Now it is you who don't understand." Stainton did not know why he
|
|
should argue with this city waster, unless it was because he had for so
|
|
long had no chance to speak of these things to anyone. But he went on:
|
|
"There ought to be love in every marriage, but marriage wasn't ordained
|
|
for love only."
|
|
|
|
"Lucky for it," said Holt, "for if it were it would be a worse swindle
|
|
than it is now, and that's going some. What _was_ it ordained for?
|
|
Babies?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"What? There are fifty of 'em born outside of marriage right here in New
|
|
York every day in the year. When Romeo makes eyes at Juliet, he isn't
|
|
thinking babies."
|
|
|
|
"He only doesn't know that he is, that's all."
|
|
|
|
"Suppose you're right," said Holt; "that's all the more reason why a
|
|
fellow should want to beget a baby instead of marrying one. Look here,
|
|
Jim: I'm not butting in on your affairs because I like to; but I know
|
|
what I'm talking about when I say you can't play this lead without
|
|
spoiling the game."
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean," asked Stainton, "that Miss Stannard's guardians will
|
|
object?"
|
|
|
|
"Hardly. Her guardians are the Newberrys."
|
|
|
|
"Then what do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
Holt interpreted.
|
|
|
|
"I mean," he said, "that you won't be happy with a child for a wife, and
|
|
that a child won't be happy with you for a husband."
|
|
|
|
Stainton started to rise from the table. Then he seemed to think better,
|
|
seemed to recall his old and brief, but firm, friendship with the Holt
|
|
of Holt's western days, and sat back in his chair.
|
|
|
|
"Jim," continued Holt, "you're actually in earnest about all this
|
|
marrying-talk, aren't you?"
|
|
|
|
"So much so," replied Stainton, frowning, "that I don't care to have you
|
|
refer to it in that way."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, all right. I beg pardon. I didn't intend to make you sore. Only it
|
|
won't do, you know. Really."
|
|
|
|
"Why not?"
|
|
|
|
"I've just been telling you why not. Difference in ages. Too great."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's face became graver. He leaned forward toward Holt, pushed his
|
|
glass aside and, with his heavy forefinger, tapped for emphasis upon the
|
|
board.
|
|
|
|
"I told you," he said, "that your best New York doctor has pronounced me
|
|
to all intents and purposes only twenty-five years old."
|
|
|
|
"O, Hell!" said Holt.
|
|
|
|
Stainton's brows drew close together.
|
|
|
|
"I mean what I say," he declared.
|
|
|
|
"Of course you do. But did the doctor-fellow mean what _he_ said?"
|
|
|
|
"Why shouldn't he? I paid him to tell the truth. He probably thought I
|
|
suspected some illness, so that, from his point of view, there would
|
|
have seemed more money in it for him if he had said I needed
|
|
treatment--his treatment."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps. But medicine isn't an exact science yet--not by several
|
|
thousand graveyards full."
|
|
|
|
"What of that? I didn't need the doctor's assurances--really. I have my
|
|
own feelings to go by."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I know. I've heard all that before. Many a time. A woman's as old
|
|
as she looks, but a man's as young as he feels--per_haps_."
|
|
|
|
"A man is as old as his arteries--and a few other units of his physical
|
|
economy."
|
|
|
|
"And a girl," said Holt, significantly, "is no older than the--what is
|
|
it?--units of _her_ physical economy."
|
|
|
|
Stainton bit his under lip.
|
|
|
|
"A girl is mature at eighteen--mature enough. I won't talk of that,
|
|
George. We are discussing my age, and I tell you that I have something
|
|
better than even the specialist's word to stand on: I have the knowledge
|
|
of my own careful, healthy, abstemious life. I am sounder in body than
|
|
hundreds and hundreds of what you would call average New Yorkers of
|
|
twenty-one. I am sounder than their average. More than that, I have done
|
|
something that most of them have not done: I have kept fresh and
|
|
unimpaired the tastes, the appetites, the spirit of that age."
|
|
|
|
"You mean you believe you have."
|
|
|
|
"I know it."
|
|
|
|
"How can you know it until you try? And you won't try till you've
|
|
committed yourself, Jim."
|
|
|
|
Stainton shook his great head.
|
|
|
|
"At this moment," he said, "I'm in twice better health--mental, moral,
|
|
physical and every other way--understand me: _every other way_--than you
|
|
were ten years ago."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," Holt cheerfully admitted, "I'm past salvation; everybody
|
|
knows that; but you----"
|
|
|
|
"I have never been a waster."
|
|
|
|
"That's just it. It'd be better for you if you had."
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean that."
|
|
|
|
"In this mix-up, yes I do. Not much, you know. Just a little picnic now
|
|
and then."
|
|
|
|
"Modern medicine has knocked that theory into a cocked hat."
|
|
|
|
"Has it, Jim? All right. But a man that's been a long time in a close
|
|
room can stand the close room a bit longer than a fellow that's just
|
|
come in from the open air. You've formed habits. Fine habits, I grant
|
|
you that, but you've formed 'em; they're fixed, just as fixed as my bad
|
|
ones are. You've come to depend on 'em, even if you don't know it. Your
|
|
brain is used to 'em. So's your body--only more so. Well, what's going
|
|
to happen when you change 'em all of a sudden--habits of a lifetime,
|
|
mind you? That's what I want to know: what's going to happen?"
|
|
|
|
"You talk," said Stainton, "as if every man that married, married under
|
|
the age of forty-five."
|
|
|
|
"I talk," Holt retorted, "as if no man of fifty married for his own good
|
|
a girl of eighteen."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's fist clenched. His face flushed crimson. His steel-grey eyes
|
|
narrowed. He raised a tight hand. Then, with the fist in mid-air, his
|
|
mood changed. He mastered himself. The fist opened. The hand descended
|
|
gently. Stainton chuckled.
|
|
|
|
"You don't know what you're talking about," he said. "I forgive you
|
|
because I know you are speaking only out of your friendship for me." He
|
|
hesitated. "That is, unless----" He frowned again, but only
|
|
slightly--"unless you yourself," he interrogatively concluded, "happen
|
|
to feel toward Miss Stannard as I do?"
|
|
|
|
Holt relieved him there. It was his turn to laugh, and he laughed
|
|
heartily.
|
|
|
|
"O, Lord, no!" said he. "Make yourself easy about that, old man. I've
|
|
got just enough to live on comfortably by myself without exercising too
|
|
much economy, and if I ever marry it will have to be a woman that can
|
|
give me the luxuries I can't get otherwise."
|
|
|
|
"Then," smiled Stainton, "I hope you will soon need many luxuries and
|
|
will soon find a good woman to supply them. I thank you for your
|
|
interest, George," he went on; "but you have been arguing about me, and,
|
|
in spite of our ages, you are old and I am young. I am young, I tell
|
|
you, and even if I were not, I could see nothing wrong in a marriage
|
|
between a man of my years and a girl of Miss Stannard's."
|
|
|
|
"Between fifty and eighteen?"
|
|
|
|
"Between fifty and eighteen. Exactly. It happens every day."
|
|
|
|
"It does. But do you think because it's plenty, it's right? Do you think
|
|
that whatever happens often, happens for the best?"
|
|
|
|
"I do not think; I know. I know that a girl of eighteen is better off
|
|
with a man steady enough to protect and guide her than she is with an
|
|
irresponsible boy of her own years."
|
|
|
|
"How about the irresponsible girl? Why should the boy be more
|
|
irresponsible than the girl?"
|
|
|
|
"The girl will have a mature man to protect and guide her."
|
|
|
|
"A man of twenty-five? Or a man of fifty? Protect and guide!" echoed
|
|
Holt. "Is _that_ marriage?"
|
|
|
|
"An important part of it."
|
|
|
|
"Pff!" George sniffed. "You must think that guiding and protecting is an
|
|
easy business."
|
|
|
|
"I think," said Stainton, good-humouredly, "that you are a good deal of
|
|
a fool."
|
|
|
|
"So you've got it all arranged in your own mind?" Holt, who had ordered
|
|
his sixth whiskey-and-soda, poured it down his throat. The fifth was
|
|
already thickening his speech.
|
|
|
|
"All," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"I see. You've counted on everything but God. Don't you think you'd
|
|
better reckon a little on God, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton bore with him. After all, Holt had now reached that stage of
|
|
drunkenness at which most drinkers invite the Deity to a part in their
|
|
libations.
|
|
|
|
"What I do," Stainton said, "I do without blaming God for my success or
|
|
failure. I am not one of those persons who, when anything unusually
|
|
unpleasant comes to them, refer to it as 'God's will.'"
|
|
|
|
Holt hiccoughed. Religion had never bothered him and so he, in his sober
|
|
moments, religiously refrained from bothering religion. His cups,
|
|
however, were sometimes theological.
|
|
|
|
"Still, He's there, you know," said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"Your God?" asked Stainton. "Why, your god is only your own prejudices
|
|
made infinite."
|
|
|
|
"You know what I mean," Holt laboriously explained. "In the really
|
|
'portant things of life, what's fellow do, and what makes him do it?"
|
|
|
|
"Reason," suggested Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"The really 'portant things generally come too quick for--for--lemme
|
|
see: for reason."
|
|
|
|
"Philosophy?"
|
|
|
|
"To quick for that, too."
|
|
|
|
"Instinct, perhaps."
|
|
|
|
"'Nd don't say 'nstinct. Fellow's 'nstincts are low, but he does
|
|
something--high. Sort of surroundings 's been brought up in--partly. Not
|
|
altogether. Partly's something else; something from--from----" Holt
|
|
groped for the word. "From outside," he concluded triumphantly and waved
|
|
an explanatory hand. "Well," he added, "that's God."
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes," he replied. "I dare say. But it's getting late, and I'm an
|
|
early riser." He beckoned to a waiter for his bill.
|
|
|
|
"What's hurry?" enquired Holt.
|
|
|
|
"It is late," repeated Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Holt shook his head.
|
|
|
|
"Never late in New York," said he, and then rising uncertainly to his
|
|
feet, he pointed a warning finger. "Or you may call it Nature. Perhaps's
|
|
Nature's a better word. Nature. Beautiful nature. Trees and things.
|
|
Birds mating in--in May. Mustn't go 'gainst beautiful nature, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"Come on," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
But in the street, Holt flung his arms about his unwilling companion's
|
|
neck.
|
|
|
|
"I'm--I'm fond of you, Jim," he said. "You save' my life 'n'--an' God
|
|
knows I love you." Easy tears were running down his puffed cheeks.
|
|
"Only you _are_ old, Jim. You know you are."
|
|
|
|
Stainton disguised his disgust. He disengaged himself gently.
|
|
|
|
"No, I'm young, George," he said, "and young blood will have its way,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
Holt faced him, swaying on the curb.
|
|
|
|
"So you really mean--mean to do--to do----? You know what I mean?"
|
|
|
|
"If she will have me, I do," said Stainton, for the third time that
|
|
night: "I intend to marry her."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
IV
|
|
|
|
THE APPLE OF THEIR EYE
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Preston Newberry had risen to the distinction of that name several
|
|
months before Stainton, as a young Harvard undergraduate, came to know
|
|
and love her sister. Very likely she had never heard of Jim until his
|
|
triumphal march to New York, and certainly, if she had ever heard of
|
|
him, she had long ago forgotten his name. Her early married life had
|
|
completely occupied itself in an endeavour to live up to her new title,
|
|
and, since this effort was not crowned with a success so secure as to
|
|
dispense with the necessity of careful watching (for eternal vigilance
|
|
is the price of more things than liberty), her present existence was
|
|
sufficiently employed to make her regard the care of her niece with
|
|
resignation rather than with joy.
|
|
|
|
Muriel's father had not survived his wife beyond a decade. In that
|
|
period he managed to spend all the money that the previous portion of
|
|
his mature career had been devoted to acquiring, and Muriel's
|
|
grandparents on both sides had long since passed to the sphere of
|
|
celestial compensations; the girl had, therefore, in some measure, been
|
|
forced upon her aunt. A timid little girl with long dark hair that
|
|
nearly concealed her face, she was brought to New York.
|
|
|
|
"And now," Mrs. Newberry had remarked to her husband, "the question is:
|
|
what are we to do with her?"
|
|
|
|
It may be that she had entertained from her early reading of the novels
|
|
of Mrs. Humphry Ward a vague hope that Preston would propose to make
|
|
Muriel the child-light of their otherwise now definitely childless home.
|
|
If, however, such an expectation had formed, it was speedily shattered:
|
|
Preston, like many another husband, inclined to the opinion that one
|
|
member of his wife's family was enough in his house. He expressed this
|
|
opinion in his usual manner: briefly, but not directly.
|
|
|
|
"How the hell do I know?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
When Ethel--Ethel was really the stout Mrs. Newberry's Christian
|
|
name--when Ethel had evinced a disposition to discuss in further detail
|
|
the question of Muriel's future, Newberry had done what he usually did
|
|
when Ethel began any discussion: he recalled an engagement at one of the
|
|
three of New York's most difficult clubs.
|
|
|
|
It was a procedure that seldom failed. He disliked deciding anything,
|
|
even where his own pleasures were involved; and so, he was accustomed to
|
|
presenting the problem to his wife much as he presented her with an
|
|
allowance, recalling an engagement at one of the clubs, going out and
|
|
not returning until he was sure that Ethel had gone to bed "to sleep on
|
|
it." In this way, even when the subject proved a hard mattress,
|
|
Preston's couch remained downy, and Ethel would meet him, over the
|
|
breakfast eggcups, with the riddle solved.
|
|
|
|
In the instance of the disposal of Muriel, the matter proceeded as
|
|
always. Mrs. Newberry came downstairs next morning in her newest and
|
|
pinkest kimono, an embroidered importation from Japan, whose wing-like
|
|
sleeves showed plumper arms and wrists than such a garment is made to
|
|
display. Though her eyes were red, she smiled.
|
|
|
|
"You won't mind paying the child's school bills?" she quavered.
|
|
|
|
"Not if the school's far enough away," said Preston.
|
|
|
|
"I had thought----" began his wife.
|
|
|
|
"Because," said Preston, "it would be wrong to the girl to bring her up
|
|
at one of these New York finishing-schools. They inculcate extravagant
|
|
ideals; they're full of a lot of the little children of the rich, and
|
|
Muriel might acquire there a notion that she was to inherit some of my
|
|
money--which she isn't."
|
|
|
|
Ethel Newberry considered this hint final. She dropped at once to the
|
|
last of the dozen institutions of instruction that she had made into a
|
|
mental list, and Muriel was sent to a convent school.
|
|
|
|
"Though we are not Catholics," said Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
"Excellent discipline," said Preston. "Is it far away?"
|
|
|
|
"Nearly in Philadelphia."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, well, at holiday time----"
|
|
|
|
"She can"--Ethel brightened--"she can come----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, she can have you come to see her," said Preston.
|
|
|
|
Muriel passed eight years at this school. So long as Mrs. Newberry's
|
|
conscience was able to conquer her desires, the young pupil's aunt would
|
|
run over to Philadelphia for the short vacations; the long ones were, as
|
|
often as could be arranged, spent by Muriel, by invitation, at the home
|
|
of one or another of her classmates. Now, however, the girl had
|
|
graduated and had remained as a post-graduate as long as the curriculum
|
|
permitted.
|
|
|
|
"She'll have to come out," said Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
"Of the school," asked Preston, "or into society?"
|
|
|
|
"Both. The one entails the other."
|
|
|
|
"What's the hurry?"
|
|
|
|
"Good heavens, Preston; if she stays there much longer she'll become a
|
|
nun!"
|
|
|
|
"Suppose she does?" asked Newberry, who was a Presbyterian. "I'm
|
|
surprised to hear you refer to a pious life as if it were a smash-up."
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, in the end, he agreed that Muriel should pass the present
|
|
winter under his hospitable roof ("Though, further than that," he
|
|
mentally vowed, "I'll be damned if I endure"). So, Muriel had, without
|
|
too much effort on her guardians' part, been taken about with them on
|
|
numerous occasions lately, most recently to the Metropolitan, where
|
|
Stainton had met her.
|
|
|
|
It was on the morning after this meeting that, with commendable
|
|
promptness, but at a deplorably early hour--to be exact, at eleven
|
|
o'clock--Stainton called at the Newberrys'. His card was presented to
|
|
Mrs. Newberry through the crack of the door while that good lady was in
|
|
her bath.
|
|
|
|
Ethel, who was big, blonde, and bovine, struggled into the nearest
|
|
dressing-gown and hurried to the breakfast-room, where her husband, over
|
|
a newspaper, was engaged in his matutinal occupation of scolding the
|
|
coffee. Her face a tragic mask, Mrs. Newberry placed the offending
|
|
pasteboard by Preston's plate.
|
|
|
|
"Preston," said she. "Look at that. _Look_ at it!"
|
|
|
|
Newberry appeared shorter and thinner than ever as he sat crumpled over
|
|
the newspaper, his grey moustache short and thin and his head covered by
|
|
grey hair, short and thin and worn in a bang. He obeyed his wife's
|
|
request. He expressed no surprise.
|
|
|
|
"Looks like somebody's card," he said.
|
|
|
|
"It is, Preston," wailed his wife. "It is that awful western person's
|
|
that George Holt would drag to our box--_our_ box--last night."
|
|
|
|
"My dear," said Newberry, "Mr.--er--what's his name?--oh, ah:
|
|
Stainton;--yes--Mr. Stainton appears to be a man of means. Concerning
|
|
the rich nothing except good."
|
|
|
|
"But his card, Preston; his card!"
|
|
|
|
"What's the matter with his card?"
|
|
|
|
"He has sent it up--here--at this time of day!"
|
|
|
|
"Hum. Western eccentricity, I suppose. He'll get over all that sort of
|
|
thing in time."
|
|
|
|
Ethel was hopping heavily from one slippered foot to the other.
|
|
|
|
"He hasn't merely left it," she distractedly explained. "He's here--he's
|
|
actually in the house."
|
|
|
|
"Well, he's not a burglar, Ethel."
|
|
|
|
"Don't talk so, Preston. I know he's not a burglar. But what does he
|
|
want here at this hour?"
|
|
|
|
"I suppose he wants to see you."
|
|
|
|
"Now? _What_ can he want to see _me_ about at 11 A.M.?"
|
|
|
|
"If you really want to know, my dear, I think that the best way to
|
|
satisfy your curiosity is to go down and ask him."
|
|
|
|
"How can I?" She spread wide her arms, the more clearly to bring to her
|
|
husband's wandering attention the fact that she was not yet by any means
|
|
dressed to receive callers. "Won't you go?" she pleaded.
|
|
|
|
"Why should I?" asked Newberry. "_I'm_ not in the least curious----This
|
|
coffee is worse every morning. You really must have Mrs. Dawson
|
|
discharge Jane."
|
|
|
|
Ethel uttered a mighty sob and fled. She sent word to Stainton that she
|
|
would be down in five minutes to greet him. After half an hour, she
|
|
entered the reception room. Not ten minutes later, she rushed again upon
|
|
her husband, this time in the smoking room, that she called his "study."
|
|
|
|
"What on earth do you suppose he wants?" she cried.
|
|
|
|
Preston, with a face like a martyred saint's, put down his newspaper. He
|
|
did not, however, take his cigarette from his mouth to reply.
|
|
|
|
"What who wants?"
|
|
|
|
Ethel wrung her hands.
|
|
|
|
"That awful man!" she said.
|
|
|
|
"Is it possible that you are referring to my friend, Mr.--er--Mr.
|
|
Stainton?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course I am, Preston."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! He's still here?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, yes. I've only just seen him."
|
|
|
|
"You made him wait rather long, my dear. I hope you are not keeping him
|
|
waiting again."
|
|
|
|
"What else could I do?"
|
|
|
|
"How do I know?"
|
|
|
|
"Preston, do try to show a little interest. I say: what on earth do you
|
|
suppose he wants?"
|
|
|
|
"If he was as bored by that performance at the Metropolitan as I was,"
|
|
said Newberry, yawning, "he wants a drink. Don't _you_ know what he
|
|
wants?"
|
|
|
|
"He wants--he wants," Ethel dramatically brought it out, "to take Muriel
|
|
for a ride in his motor."
|
|
|
|
Preston had been seated in an arm-chair without the slightest indication
|
|
of disturbing himself either for his wife or the visitor. At this
|
|
announcement by Mrs. Newberry he rose with what, for him, was alacrity.
|
|
|
|
"I'll call her myself," he said.
|
|
|
|
"But, Preston! Think of it!"
|
|
|
|
"That is just what I am doing, my dear--and I think confoundedly well of
|
|
it, let me tell you."
|
|
|
|
"In his motor!" Mrs. Newberry repeated the phrase as if it were pregnant
|
|
with evil.
|
|
|
|
"What's the matter with his motor?" snapped Preston. "It's a motor, you
|
|
say, not a monoplane. Mr.--Mr. Stainton has money enough to buy a safe
|
|
motor--as motors go."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Preston, consider: Muriel--alone--morning! The child isn't even
|
|
really out yet!"
|
|
|
|
At this, Newberry fronted his wife squarely. For perhaps the first time
|
|
in his life, he suffered the pains of definite assertion.
|
|
|
|
"Now, understand, Ethel," he said, "let's cut out all this rot about
|
|
Muriel. The girl is _not_ such a child and she is out: she's out of
|
|
school, and that's all the outing she's going to get. In fact, it's high
|
|
time she was in again."
|
|
|
|
"She can't go back to the convent, Preston."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Stainton doesn't want to motor her back to the convent. No. But if
|
|
we manage things with half a hand, she needn't be much longer at large.
|
|
Now, don't keep my friend Mr. Stansfield waiting any longer. I surmise
|
|
that he has his machine with him?"
|
|
|
|
"He came in it. It's at the door. I couldn't see the make."
|
|
|
|
"No. Naturally. Well, his bringing it along shows him to be a man of
|
|
expedition. It's what we might expect of a successful miner. And it is
|
|
promising for other reasons, too. Get Muriel, take her down, hand her
|
|
over to him with your blessing--but be sure you hand her over as your
|
|
dearest treasure--and then come back here to me."
|
|
|
|
Saying this, Preston resumed the perusal of his newspaper.
|
|
|
|
Ethel left the room. When she returned, she had the air of seeing blood
|
|
upon her hands.
|
|
|
|
"Well?" asked Preston.
|
|
|
|
"They're gone."
|
|
|
|
Preston folded the paper and laid it carefully upon the table that stood
|
|
beside him. The mood of assertion still tore at his vitals.
|
|
|
|
"Now then," he began, "about this Mr. Stansfield----"
|
|
|
|
"Stainton," mildly corrected his wife as she took a seat opposite him
|
|
and looked out over the now rapidly filling Madison Avenue.
|
|
|
|
"Stainton." Newberry accepted the amendment. "What's wrong with him?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Ethel, her fingers twisting in her lap, "it's not that.
|
|
There's nothing _wrong_ with him."
|
|
|
|
"Well, then!" Preston spoke as if his wife's admission settled the
|
|
matter.
|
|
|
|
But it did not settle the matter.
|
|
|
|
"Only he is not----" Ethel added: "Is he quite a gentleman?"
|
|
|
|
Newberry sighed as one sighs at a child that will not comprehend the
|
|
simplest statement.
|
|
|
|
"It's hard for art to compete with Nature," said he; "a gentleman is
|
|
man-made, but Nature can do better when she wants."
|
|
|
|
"We don't really know him."
|
|
|
|
"I know a good deal about him, Ethel. Enough for present purposes."
|
|
|
|
"From Mr. Holt?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. When Holt read of his success in the papers, the canny George went
|
|
to his brokers and made inquiries--thorough inquiries."
|
|
|
|
"He seems to have got whatever money he has very quickly, Preston."
|
|
|
|
"That only proves that he is either lucky or crooked. It doesn't prove
|
|
he didn't get it. What makes you think he's not quite a gentleman?"
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Ethel, "----that."
|
|
|
|
"Poof!" said Newberry. "He was talking a good deal to Muriel at the
|
|
opera last night. Didn't he behave all right?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know. I suppose so. I asked her what he talked about, and she
|
|
said she didn't know."
|
|
|
|
"Very sensible of her, I'm sure. I wouldn't have expected it of her. It
|
|
goes to show that she's not too young to marry."
|
|
|
|
Ethel permitted herself a fat start.
|
|
|
|
"O, Preston, you never mean----"
|
|
|
|
"Now, my dear, you know very well that we've meant nothing else. You've
|
|
known it ever since I sent you to call Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"And you don't think him too old for her?"
|
|
|
|
"Old? He's probably not fifty."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Holt said he thought fifty."
|
|
|
|
"Very well: fifty. Fifty and eighteen. The one has the youth and the
|
|
other supplies the balance. Most suitable. Besides, it's done every day.
|
|
Heavens, Ethel, you mustn't expect everything!"
|
|
|
|
"But do you think there's nobody else, Preston? She has been away a good
|
|
deal, you know, and----"
|
|
|
|
"Somebody else?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes." Ethel's eyes sought her husband's and, meeting them, fell.
|
|
"Somebody that the child cares for," she murmured.
|
|
|
|
"Stuff!" said Preston. "That convent-place has a high reputation for
|
|
the way it's conducted. Also, any man of forty can steal a girl from any
|
|
boy of twenty if he only cares to try. The only trouble is that he
|
|
hardly ever cares enough about it to try."
|
|
|
|
"Fifty," repeated Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
"Fifty,--granted," continued Preston. "Where we're lucky is that this
|
|
fellow seems to want to try--supposing there is any other chap, and of
|
|
course there isn't."
|
|
|
|
"Do you think, Preston"--Ethel's eyes were downcast--"that she can learn
|
|
to love him?"
|
|
|
|
"Ethel!" said Preston.
|
|
|
|
"But, dear," Ethel insisted, "it does seem a little as if this were the
|
|
sort of thing that a girl ought to be left to decide for herself."
|
|
|
|
Newberry had risen and gone to the mantelpiece to seek a fresh
|
|
cigarette. His wife's words brought him to a stop. He folded his thin
|
|
arms across his chest.
|
|
|
|
"Look here," he said; "we have got to face this thing right now, and
|
|
once and for all. What are the facts in the case? The facts are these:
|
|
Here's Muriel with a pretty face and a good, sound, sensible education
|
|
of the proper homely sort, which includes a healthy ignorance of this
|
|
wicked world. And here's this fellow Stainsfield, or Stainborough, or
|
|
whatever his name is, and I'm sure it makes no difference, a strong,
|
|
fatherly kind of old dodo, comes to New York, 'b'gosh,' with his eyes
|
|
bugging out at the first good-looker they light on. Well, he's not the
|
|
Steel Trust, or a Transatlantic steamship combination, but he's what,
|
|
until our palates were spoiled twenty years or so ago, we'd have called
|
|
a confoundedly rich man. Understand? Then add to it that Muriel hasn't a
|
|
cent of her own and no prospects--_no prospects_, mind you. And now see
|
|
whether you'd not better forget to talk sentiment and begin to get busy.
|
|
If you and Muriel don't get busy, it's a hundred-to-one shot some other
|
|
girl will--and'll get him damned quick. Then Muriel will probably be
|
|
left to get a job as school-teacher or something-or-other nearly as bad.
|
|
He's worth a half-million if he's worth a cent."
|
|
|
|
Ethel Newberry's large, innocent eyes opened wide. If surprise can be
|
|
placid, they were placidly surprised.
|
|
|
|
"Are you quite sure about the money, dear?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
V
|
|
|
|
ONE ROAD TO LOVE
|
|
|
|
|
|
Among the little company of persons aware of Jim Stainton's sentimental
|
|
inclinations, or so far as were concerned the people most intimately
|
|
affected by those inclinations, there appeared, thus far, to be a
|
|
singular unanimity of opinion regarding the matter. Stainton, it is to
|
|
be supposed, approved because the inclinations concurred with his pet
|
|
theories. Newberry, although he did not know anything about Stainton's
|
|
pet theories and would in all probability have jeered at them had he
|
|
been enlightened, proved ready to welcome the miner because he had
|
|
decided that the miner should relieve the Newberry household of a quiet
|
|
presence that, its quiescence to the contrary notwithstanding,
|
|
distinctly disturbed the even course of Newberry's existence. Ethel, as
|
|
may be readily believed, found, under her husband's expert guidance, no
|
|
difficulty in reaching the conclusion that, as she put it, "a match of
|
|
this sort would be for the child's best interests."
|
|
|
|
To be sure, there was George Holt, if one counted him and his verdict.
|
|
Still, even in this singularly imperfect world, where we believe in
|
|
majorities and where they misgovern us, we acknowledge the purging
|
|
benefits of an ever-present party in opposition; and the party in
|
|
opposition to James Stainton was now composed of Mr. George Vanvechten
|
|
Holt. He was a splendid minority of one, but he was not one of those
|
|
most intimately affected, and he was not generally the sort of
|
|
individual noticed. Stainton had saved his life, yet even Holt admitted
|
|
that the life was scarcely worth the saving.
|
|
|
|
"Not that I care anything about the youngster for her own sake," he
|
|
would say, night after night, at his club, where he had made all the
|
|
club-members he knew an exception to his promise of secrecy; "it's not
|
|
that, and it isn't that my liking for Stainton shuts my eyes to his
|
|
faults. Not a little bit. Tying up little Muriel to a man half a hundred
|
|
years old is like sending virgins to that Minotaur-chap and all that
|
|
sort of thing. And hitching good old Jim to a girl of eighteen is like
|
|
fastening a scared bulldog to the tail of some new-fangled and
|
|
unexploded naval-rocket: you don't know what's inside of it and you
|
|
don't know where it's going to land; all you do know is that it's going
|
|
to be mighty mystifying to the dog. Still, as I say, I'm not personal.
|
|
What makes me sore is the principle of the thing. It's so rottenly
|
|
unprincipled, you know."
|
|
|
|
Holt, however, always ended by declaring that he would not attempt to
|
|
interfere. He intimated, darkly, that he could, if he would, interfere
|
|
with considerable effect, but he was specific, if darker, in his
|
|
reasons therefor, in his decision not to attempt to save his threatened
|
|
friends or fight for his outraged principles.
|
|
|
|
The truth was that George had made one more endeavour after the evening
|
|
of the opera. He was severely rebuffed. Because, as he never tired of
|
|
stating, he really liked Stainton and would not forget that the miner
|
|
had saved his life, he recurred, after much painful plucking-up of
|
|
courage, to the amatory subject, which only intoxication had permitted
|
|
him so boldly to pursue on the night previous.
|
|
|
|
He was seated in Stainton's sitting-room high in the hotel. It was late
|
|
afternoon; the rumble and clatter of the city rose from the distant
|
|
street, and Stainton, full of fresh memories of his motor drive with
|
|
Muriel, was walking backward and forward from his bedroom, slowly
|
|
getting into evening clothes.
|
|
|
|
"I sure never would have thought you were morbid," said Holt, from his
|
|
seat on the edge of a table, whence he dangled his legs.
|
|
|
|
"Morbid?" repeated Stainton. "I am not."
|
|
|
|
"I mean--you know: about death and old age and all that sort of thing."
|
|
|
|
"I thought I had explained all that last night."
|
|
|
|
"It must have been over when I was with you in the West."
|
|
|
|
"It wasn't."
|
|
|
|
"Not when you were the first man to volunteer to go down in the shaft
|
|
of 'Better Days' mine after the explosion?"
|
|
|
|
"I have rarely been more afraid than I was then."
|
|
|
|
"Or when you played head-nurse in the spotted-fever mess at Sunnyside?"
|
|
|
|
"I was nearly sick--scared sick--myself."
|
|
|
|
Holt's patent-leather boots flashed in and out of the shadow cast by the
|
|
table-edge.
|
|
|
|
"Hum," he said. "It don't seem to show a healthy state of mind, does
|
|
it?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton had disappeared into his bedroom. From there his answer came,
|
|
partly muffled by the half-closed door.
|
|
|
|
"I don't care to talk any more about it. I made my explanation to you
|
|
last night, because I had promised to make one. That's all."
|
|
|
|
"I'm afraid I was a bit illuminated last night," said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"You were."
|
|
|
|
"Still, you know, I knew what I was saying."
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not reply.
|
|
|
|
"And what I said," Holt supplemented, "is what I think now and what I
|
|
always will think."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. Let it go at that, George."
|
|
|
|
Holt made a mighty effort.
|
|
|
|
"The plain truth is," said he, "that people will call you an old fool to
|
|
buy a piece of undressed kid."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's bulky figure filled the doorway. He was in his
|
|
shirt-sleeves, his hands busy with the collar-button at the back of his
|
|
neck.
|
|
|
|
"That will do," he said.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings----" said Holt.
|
|
|
|
"Then keep quiet."
|
|
|
|
"But you ought to know what people will say. Someone's got to tell you."
|
|
|
|
"I don't care what people will say."
|
|
|
|
"They'll say----"
|
|
|
|
Stainton advanced. His hands were now at his side, idle, but his face
|
|
was completely calm.
|
|
|
|
"Never mind," he said.
|
|
|
|
"They'll say," concluded Holt, "that you're buying the little girl, and
|
|
that you've been cheated in the transaction----"
|
|
|
|
Stainton's hands were raised. They descended heavily upon Holt's
|
|
shoulders. They plucked Holt from his perch and shook him until his
|
|
teeth chattered. Then they dropped him, rather gently, into a chair.
|
|
|
|
"Now," said Stainton. His face was firm, and there was a cold blue flame
|
|
playing from under his brows, but he was not even breathing hard. "Now,
|
|
let this end it. If you want to be my friend, let this end your comments
|
|
on my personal affairs. If you do not want to be my friend, go on
|
|
talking as you have been, and I will throw you out of the window."
|
|
|
|
This incident partially accounts for Holt's resolute refusal thereafter
|
|
to advise Stainton. Advise him further George certainly did not,
|
|
although among his club-fellows he expressed himself as extremely
|
|
anxious to have it remembered that, should anything go wrong with
|
|
Stainton, George Holt had predicted as much.
|
|
|
|
There remained, however, one person of importance to Stainton's project
|
|
that still remained unconsulted and might have some opinion of more or
|
|
less weight in regard to it. This was Muriel Stannard.
|
|
|
|
What she thought, or what she would ultimately come to feel about his
|
|
plan, did occupy space in Stainton's cogitations. Notwithstanding his
|
|
romanticism, Stainton was not so blind to fact as to fail to see that
|
|
the girl's mind was as virgin as her body. Indeed, her brain, so far as
|
|
her education might be said to have developed that organ, was less
|
|
advanced than the rest of her physique, and this not because she was not
|
|
intelligent, for now that she was in the world at last he could see her
|
|
daily hastening toward mental maturity, but because her pastors and
|
|
masters had brought her up in the manner supposed to be correct for
|
|
girls of her position. Critics of that manner might say that its
|
|
directors proceed on the theory that, since life is full of serpents,
|
|
the best way to train children for life is not to teach them to
|
|
distinguish between harmless and venomous reptiles, but to keep them in
|
|
such ignorance of the snakes that they will be sure not to know one when
|
|
they see it. Yet Stainton, anything rather than a critic of the
|
|
established order, found himself not displeased with this
|
|
manifestation--or lack of it. He wanted youth; he wanted his long lost,
|
|
long postponed romance, and chance had put both these things within his
|
|
reach in the person of this dusky-eyed girl. Physically she was what her
|
|
mother had been, mentally she could be trained to complete resemblance.
|
|
He would make of her what he conceived to be the best. And so he loved
|
|
her.
|
|
|
|
To ascertain her opinion, to predetermine it, Stainton was now
|
|
elaborately preparing. Beginning with that introductory motor ride, in
|
|
which Stainton's cautious manipulation of the automobile seemed to
|
|
Muriel's unspoiled delight a union of skill and daring, he went about
|
|
his courtship in what he believed a frank and regular way; in a way that
|
|
both Preston and Ethel Newberry considered absolutely committal; in a
|
|
way that, consider it as she might, Muriel accepted with every evidence
|
|
of girlish pleasure.
|
|
|
|
There were more motor drives, with the aunt now playing chaperon: a
|
|
chaperon that conscientiously chaperoned as little as possible. There
|
|
were small theatre parties, small suppers, small dinners. One or two
|
|
mothers of daughters, who dared to be civil to Stainton, were shooed
|
|
away, attacked by Ethel with all the brazen loyalty of a ponderous hen
|
|
defending her chicks from the assault of a terrier. The Newberrys, as in
|
|
duty bound, retaliated upon Stainton's theatres, dinners, and suppers
|
|
with two teas and a luncheon. Stainton "came back at them," as George
|
|
Holt phrased it, with more suppers, theatres, and dinners, the dramas
|
|
always carefully selected to suit the immature condition of Muriel's
|
|
soul; and so the whole courtship progressed along those conventional
|
|
lines which lay the road to the altar over a plain of rich foods
|
|
irrigated by vintage wines.
|
|
|
|
"Do you like this sort of thing?" Stainton heard himself asking the girl
|
|
during one of the morning walks that he was permitted to take with her,
|
|
unescorted, through Central Park.
|
|
|
|
"What sort of thing?" asked Muriel. "A day like this? I love it!"
|
|
|
|
It was a day worthy of being loved: one of those crisp autumnal days
|
|
when New York is at its best and when the air, from the earth to the
|
|
clear blue zenith, has a crystal clarity and a bracing tang that none
|
|
other of the world's great cities possesses. Stainton felt as he used on
|
|
some Rocky Mountain peak with the crests of lower eminences rolling away
|
|
to the horizon like the waves of an inland sea below him; and Muriel,
|
|
her cheeks glowing, walked by his side more like some firm-breasted
|
|
nymph of those forests than a child of modern days and metropolitan
|
|
civilisation.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Stainton, "this is splendid. But I meant the whole thing:
|
|
New York, the life here, the city."
|
|
|
|
"I love that, too," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
To Stainton's ear the use of one's first Latin verb translated was not
|
|
merely schoolgirl carelessness and want of variety of phrase; it was an
|
|
accurate expression of her abounding capacity for intense affection, her
|
|
splendid fortune of emotion and her equally splendid generosity in its
|
|
disposal.
|
|
|
|
"So do I," he said. "You can't begin to know how much it means to me to
|
|
get back here."
|
|
|
|
"From the West?" Her eyes were soft at this. "But the West must be so
|
|
romantic."
|
|
|
|
"Scarcely that. It has its points, but romance is not one of them."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, but your life there was romantic." She nodded wisely. "I know," she
|
|
said.
|
|
|
|
Stainton's smile was tenderly indulgent.
|
|
|
|
"How did you get that idea?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Auntie Ethel has told me some of the brave things you did, and so has
|
|
Uncle Preston."
|
|
|
|
"They have been reading some of the silly stories that the papers
|
|
published when I made my big find. You mustn't believe all that the
|
|
newspapers say."
|
|
|
|
"I believe these things," affirmed Muriel. "Wasn't that true about the
|
|
time you rescued the man from the lynchers at Grand Junction?"
|
|
|
|
"Grand Joining. I didn't read it," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"But did you do it?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, there was something of the sort." He honestly disliked to have his
|
|
supposedly heroic exploits praised, only from modesty perhaps, perhaps
|
|
from a super-sensitive consciousness that they were the results rather
|
|
of fear than of bravery. "Look at that sky. Isn't it glorious?"
|
|
|
|
"Then about the express robbery on the Rio Grande," said Muriel; "they
|
|
said you went after the robbers when the sheriff and his men were afraid
|
|
to go, and you captured them by yourself--three of them."
|
|
|
|
Stainton laughed, his broad, white teeth showing.
|
|
|
|
"The sheriff and his men," he said, "were along with me. It was not half
|
|
so exciting as that play last night. Didn't you like the play?"
|
|
|
|
"I loved it. But, Mr. Stainton----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes?"
|
|
|
|
"Won't you tell me about some of these things?"
|
|
|
|
"I am sure they are much more interesting in the form in which the
|
|
newspapers presented them."
|
|
|
|
"I always wanted to see a mine. Surely a mine must be lovely. Please
|
|
tell me about a mine."
|
|
|
|
He tried to tell her, but mining had been to him only a means to an end
|
|
and, the end now being attained, mining struck him as a dull subject. He
|
|
abruptly concluded by telling her so.
|
|
|
|
"Besides," he said, "it is merely a business: a mere business, like any
|
|
other. What can girls and women care for business?"
|
|
|
|
So he brought back the conversation to the play that they had seen the
|
|
night before. He discussed the plot with her, the plot having no
|
|
relation to business, or to anything else approaching actuality for that
|
|
matter, his iron-grey eyes all the while eagerly feeding on her beauty
|
|
and her youth.
|
|
|
|
"You think," he asked, "that the Duchess should not have tried to break
|
|
off the match?"
|
|
|
|
"Just because Arthur was young and poor?" inquired Muriel. "Of course I
|
|
think she shouldn't. He was far too nice for her daughter anyway."
|
|
|
|
"But there was the suspicion that he had cheated at cards. Lord Eustace
|
|
had told her so."
|
|
|
|
"She didn't really believe that; she only wanted to believe it. I think
|
|
she was horrid."
|
|
|
|
"And her daughter, Lady--Lady----" He hesitated for the name.
|
|
|
|
"Lady Gladys," supplied Muriel. "I think she was horrid, too. To give up
|
|
Arthur like that!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled gravely.
|
|
|
|
"You would not have done it, Miss Stannard?"
|
|
|
|
"Indeed I would not!"
|
|
|
|
"What _would_ you have done?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel's chin became resolute.
|
|
|
|
"I should have gone right up to him before them all there in the
|
|
drawing-room, and I should have put my----" She broke off, rosy with
|
|
embarrassment. "You will think I am awfully silly," she said.
|
|
|
|
But Stainton did not think so. He urged her on.
|
|
|
|
"No, you will laugh," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"I should not," he answered her. "I really want to know."
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, the illusion of the theatre, which her memory had
|
|
partially renewed, her self-consciousness finally dispelled, and her
|
|
conclusion was in lame contrast to her beginning:
|
|
|
|
"I should just have married him in spite of them all."
|
|
|
|
Of such material was Stainton's wooing made. Though it may seem but poor
|
|
stuff to you, it did not seem so to those who wove it, and it was, if
|
|
you will but reflect upon your own, the material generally in vogue.
|
|
|
|
Our modern method of courting is, of course, the most artificial phase
|
|
of modern artificial life. The period of courtship is, for most lovers,
|
|
what Sunday used to be for the small boy in the orthodox family of the
|
|
early 'seventies. As he then put on his best clothes for the Sabbath,
|
|
our men and women now put on their best manners for the courting. As he
|
|
then put off his real self at church-time, they now lay aside, for this
|
|
supposedly romantic interlude in an existence presently to return to the
|
|
acknowledged prosaic, all their crudities. It was thus with Muriel and
|
|
Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Not that the latter meant to appear other than he was. His great Plan
|
|
presumed, indeed, quite the reverse. He was intent that Muriel should
|
|
admire not his wealth or his reputation, but his inherent worth and the
|
|
genuine basis for his reputation. He was resolved that she should love
|
|
not any or all of the things that he might be, but the one thing, the
|
|
real self, that he had himself made. His fault, according to the
|
|
prevailing standards, if any fault resulted, consisted only in his
|
|
insistence upon a too introspectively observed ideal of just what that
|
|
thing happened to be.
|
|
|
|
Nor yet, and this is likewise intrinsic, would the severest scrutiny
|
|
have revealed in Muriel any realisation of a pose upon her own part. Her
|
|
aunt, trusting as do most guardians of youth to a natural intuition in
|
|
the ward, which has no standing in fact, refrained from informing the
|
|
girl in plain language what it was that Stainton wanted. Mrs. Newberry's
|
|
fears were ungrounded: the conventional calm had not been disturbed, and
|
|
Muriel, save for timid smiles at the butcher's boy when he called at the
|
|
school and furtive glances at the acolytes in church, had never yet
|
|
known love. Not guessing the truth, Muriel was merely, for the first
|
|
time, being accorded a glimpse of those kingdoms of this world of which
|
|
all schoolgirls have had their stolen dreams. With what she saw she was
|
|
frankly delighted, and when a pretty young girl is frankly delighted, a
|
|
pretty young girl is obviously not at her worst.
|
|
|
|
"You look very happy nowadays," said Mrs. Newberry at the
|
|
luncheon-table, looking, however, not at the subject of her remarks but
|
|
at the master of her affections, who, chancing to be lunching at home,
|
|
sat opposite her.
|
|
|
|
"I am, Aunt Ethel," said Muriel. "I always have been happy, but I am
|
|
happier than ever now."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry smiled meaningly at Preston, but Muriel could not see the
|
|
smile, and Preston would not.
|
|
|
|
"Why is that?" asked Ethel.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, because."
|
|
|
|
"Because why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because I am seeing so much. The city, you know, and these suppers and
|
|
things. Sitting up until to-morrow. And I do so love the theatres!"
|
|
|
|
Ethel's smile faded.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she said, "Mr. Stainton is very kind."
|
|
|
|
"And generous," put in Preston so unexpectedly that his wife jumped.
|
|
"Thompson; the salmon."
|
|
|
|
"I think he's lovely," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Do you?" Mrs. Newberry was bovine even in her playful moods. "He does
|
|
really run about like a boy, doesn't he?"
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Muriel, "I wouldn't say _just_ like a boy."
|
|
|
|
"He seems quite young--he actually seems very young indeed," mused
|
|
Ethel.
|
|
|
|
"Seems?" said Preston. "He is."
|
|
|
|
His positive tone startled Mrs. Newberry into indiscretion.
|
|
|
|
"He is fif----" she began, then, catching her husband's eye, she
|
|
corrected herself: "He must be nearly----"
|
|
|
|
"He is forty," said Newberry, scowling.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Uncle Preston," protested Muriel, "Mr. Holt said----"
|
|
|
|
"George Holt is a fool," said Newberry, "and always was."
|
|
|
|
"Your uncle is quite right, Muriel," said Ethel. "Mr. Holt does gossip.
|
|
Besides, he is not the sort of person a young girl should quote."
|
|
|
|
"You quote him, Aunt Ethel--often."
|
|
|
|
"Your aunt," said Preston, "is not a young girl. Mr. Stainton is younger
|
|
than Holt, I dare say, for he has evidently taken good care of himself,
|
|
and Holt never takes care of anything, least of all his health."
|
|
|
|
The air of importance that her uncle and aunt seemed to attach to so
|
|
trivial a matter as a few years more or less in the age of any man past
|
|
thirty puzzled Muriel, and she betrayed her bewilderment.
|
|
|
|
"I don't see how it much matters," she said, "whether he's forty or
|
|
fifty."
|
|
|
|
"It doesn't matter in the least," said Newberry. "But you had better
|
|
make the most of him while you can."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see why," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Because he is popular," Preston explained. "There are several
|
|
women--women and _girls_--anxious to marry him, and one or other of them
|
|
is sure to succeed."
|
|
|
|
Muriel winced. She did not relish the thought of losing her new friend,
|
|
and she wondered why, if he were really sought after in marriage, he had
|
|
so much time to devote to her and her aunt and uncle, and why he spoke
|
|
so little of women to her.
|
|
|
|
Stainton, indeed, held his tongue about his intentions for just the
|
|
length of time that, as he had previously concluded, a man must hold his
|
|
tongue in such matters. If, in the meantime, Muriel heard from both of
|
|
the Newberrys more interesting stories of his career in the West, and
|
|
was impressed thereby, if she got from the same reliable source equally
|
|
romantic accounts of his wealth and was, as the best of us could not in
|
|
like circumstances help being, a little impressed by these as well, she
|
|
was, nevertheless, honestly unprepared for his final declaration. She
|
|
regarded Stainton as a storybook hero, the more so since his
|
|
conversation never approached the sentimental, and she delighted in his
|
|
company for the "good time"--it was thus that she described it--which he
|
|
was "showing her."
|
|
|
|
In brief, she was at last ready to fall in love with Stainton. Stainton
|
|
was in love.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
VI
|
|
|
|
A MAID PERPLEXED
|
|
|
|
|
|
So far as Stainton was privileged to know, the end of this first act in
|
|
their comedy came about in much the manner designed by him. He moved
|
|
quietly, as he moved in all the details of his life; he had the gift of
|
|
precision, and when he arrived at what Sarcey called the _scène à
|
|
faire_, though he was perhaps more in love, as that term is generally
|
|
understood, than most lovers, he arrived not at all breathless, and
|
|
found nothing to complain of in what awaited him.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry had ostentatiously deserted him and Muriel in the
|
|
white-and-gold Newberry drawing-room splendid with spindle-legged
|
|
mahogany and appropriately uncomfortable. It was evening, an evening
|
|
that Stainton had taken care should be unoccupied by any disturbing
|
|
theatre party or other frivolous forerunner to a declaration.
|
|
|
|
That Ethel and her husband had tacitly agreed to this arrangement,
|
|
Stainton did not notice as significant. Mrs. Newberry, after the spasm
|
|
of chaperonage that followed his first unwatched motor drive with
|
|
Muriel, had tactfully begun to withdraw from the rôle of duenna, and the
|
|
suitor had consoled himself in the ocular demonstration of the proverb
|
|
that two are company and three none. Hitherto he had enjoyed his
|
|
privilege like the temperate man that he was, which is to say that he
|
|
enjoyed it without abusing it. He belonged by birth to that class of
|
|
society which, though strong enough in the so-called natural affections,
|
|
seems to think it indecent to display emotion in public, and he was
|
|
unwilling, for both his own sake and that of the girl he loved, to hurry
|
|
an affair that might lose much by speed and gain much by circumspection.
|
|
Now, however, the time came to test the virtues of his plan of campaign,
|
|
and Stainton was glad that the combination of the time and the place and
|
|
the loved one was not marred by any extraneous interference.
|
|
|
|
The wooer was at his best. The clothes that are designed for those short
|
|
hours of the twenty-four when one is at rest without being asleep,
|
|
became him; they gave full value to his erect figure, his shapely hips,
|
|
and his robust shoulders; and, since he was about to win or lose that
|
|
which he now most prized in life, and since he had always felt sure that
|
|
the only courage he lacked was physical, his strong face looked far
|
|
younger than its years and his iron-grey eyes shone not with fear, but
|
|
with excitement.
|
|
|
|
While he leaned against a corner of the white mantelpiece above the
|
|
glowing fireplace, so much as it was possible for his upright figure to
|
|
lean, he was thinking that Muriel, opposite him, was more beautiful than
|
|
he had ever yet seen her--thinking, but without terror, how dreadful it
|
|
would be should he lose her and how wonderful should he win. Young
|
|
enough for her in that kindly light he almost looked and was sure he
|
|
was; worthy of her, though he felt more worthy than most, he was certain
|
|
that no man could be. He saw her as he had seen her that first night at
|
|
the opera, but more desirable.
|
|
|
|
Seated in the farther corner of a long, low couch drawn close to the
|
|
chimney-place and at right-angles to it, three or four rose-red pillows
|
|
piled behind the suggestion of bare shoulders only just escaping from
|
|
her gown of grey ninon draped over delicate pink, Muriel's slim body
|
|
fronted the dancing fire and warmed in the light that played from the
|
|
flames. Her blue-black hair waved about her white temples and the narrow
|
|
lines of her brows; her lips, the lower slightly indrawn, were like
|
|
young red roses after the last shower of Spring.
|
|
|
|
He felt again, as he had felt when he saw her in the Newberrys' box,
|
|
that she was lovely not only with the hesitant possibilities of girlhood
|
|
at pause before the door of maturity, but because she gleamed with the
|
|
gleam of an approaching summer night scented and starred. He noted how
|
|
the yellow rays from a high candelabrum standing near the couch cast
|
|
what might be an aureole about her head and set it in relief against the
|
|
distant, drawn curtains, the curtains of ivory plush, which shut the
|
|
heaven of this drawing-room from the earth of everywhere else. In his
|
|
every early adventure among the dreams of love, this lonely man of the
|
|
desert, reacting on his environment, had been less annoyed by the
|
|
demands of a body that clamoured in vain than by the dictates of a soul
|
|
that insisted upon the perfection of beauty among beautiful surroundings
|
|
beautifully encountered. Now he was to put into action forces that would
|
|
either realise or break those dreams, and, knowing that, he imprinted on
|
|
his memory this picture of her and always after remembered it: her white
|
|
hands clasped about the great bunch of violets he had brought to her,
|
|
the glory of her wayward hair, the curve of her throat, her dark eyes
|
|
with their curving lashes, her parted lips.
|
|
|
|
She had again been asking him of his life in the mining-camps of Alaska
|
|
and the West and about his solitary journeys prospecting for the gold
|
|
that it had often seemed was never to be found, and Stainton, wishing
|
|
not to capitalise his achievements and unable to understand why a girl
|
|
should interest herself in what was simply a business history, had again
|
|
evaded her.
|
|
|
|
"But you must have suffered a good deal," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes," he said; "that is part of the price of Life."
|
|
|
|
"You did it all," she asked, "to win a fortune?"
|
|
|
|
"No," he answered, his glance as steady upon hers as it had been that
|
|
night at the opera. "I did it all to win Life. That has always been
|
|
what I wanted; that has always been what I never had: Life. I wanted--I
|
|
scarcely know how to say it: the full, sharp, clean joys of being. You
|
|
understand?"
|
|
|
|
"I think I understand," she said.
|
|
|
|
"I wanted them. I saw that no man could have them in these days, living
|
|
as we live, unless he was economically independent and morally straight.
|
|
I made up my mind to win economic independence and to keep morally
|
|
straight at any sacrifice."
|
|
|
|
She drew her fingers a little tighter about the tinfoil wrapping of the
|
|
violets. Over the purple tops of the flowers, as she raised them toward
|
|
her face, her intent, innocent face returned his steady scrutiny.
|
|
|
|
"And you've won?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
He wished to cross to her, to come to the couch and lean over its back,
|
|
and, with his lips close to her cheek, whisper his answer. But he would
|
|
not do that; he had decided that to do that at this point would be to
|
|
bring about for his benefit an unfair propinquity. Instead, he moved
|
|
only a step from the mantelpiece and stood upright, his arms folded.
|
|
|
|
Only a step, but to the girl he seemed somehow to draw much closer. The
|
|
atmosphere of the room was somehow strained to tension. She saw that his
|
|
eyes, although they did not waver, softened, and, to fill a pause of
|
|
which she began to be afraid, she heard herself repeating:
|
|
|
|
"And you've won?"
|
|
|
|
"That," said Stainton, "is for you to say--Muriel."
|
|
|
|
It was the first time he had called her by her given name. Her eyes
|
|
fell. She lowered the violets and, looking only at them, raised a hand
|
|
to finger them. The hand shook.
|
|
|
|
"For me?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
If there is one thing in which men are more alike than another, it is
|
|
the manner of their asking women to marry them. Generally it adds to
|
|
many pretences the cruelty of suspense. Stainton was not unusual.
|
|
|
|
"I have won my fight--yes," he said. "I have got the means. Can I gain
|
|
the end? It's you who must tell me that."
|
|
|
|
She saw now.
|
|
|
|
"How can I help?" she faltered.
|
|
|
|
"I wanted Life," he repeated, and wished that he could see her face.
|
|
"Life means more than money. Money will protect it, secure it; but Life
|
|
means Love. Long ago I knew your mother."
|
|
|
|
Very simply, but directly, he told her how he had loved that other
|
|
Muriel. His morbid fears he did not describe, but his first romance he
|
|
sketched with a gentleness that, while she, her heart steadied, looked
|
|
up at his reposed strength and remembered all the stories that she had
|
|
heard of his adventurous career, brought a quick mist of tears to her
|
|
eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Do you remember," he asked, when his story was finished, "how rudely I
|
|
looked at you when I first saw you in the Metropolitan Opera House?"
|
|
|
|
"It wasn't rude," she said.
|
|
|
|
"You must have thought it so then."
|
|
|
|
"I--I didn't know what to think--exactly."
|
|
|
|
"Well, now you know. It was an astonishing resemblance that made me
|
|
stare at you."
|
|
|
|
Her nether lip trembled.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't know my mother," she said.
|
|
|
|
"No," said Stainton, "but you are very like her." He waited a moment and
|
|
then, as her eyes were lowered, went on: "That was a boyish love of mine
|
|
for her. It was really not love at all--only the rough sketch for what
|
|
might have been, but never was, a finished picture. But I went away,
|
|
when your mother repulsed me, with the likeness of her in my heart. I
|
|
wanted love; I worked to be fit to win love and to keep it once I had
|
|
won it. Then I came back and saw in that box at the opera the living
|
|
original of the dream-woman that had all those years been with me."
|
|
|
|
He came another step nearer.
|
|
|
|
"I arranged to meet you," he said, "and I knew at last I was really in
|
|
love. I want to be to you what your mother would not let me be to her.
|
|
It is you whom I love, not a memory. I love you. I was young then and
|
|
didn't know. Now I am still young--I have kept myself young--but I
|
|
_know_." He bent forward and paused. Then, "Muriel," he said.
|
|
|
|
The girl drew back. She put her hand before her eyes. The violets rolled
|
|
to the floor.
|
|
|
|
"I--I can't tell," she stammered. "I didn't expect--I never thought----"
|
|
|
|
Even this Stainton had foreseen.
|
|
|
|
"Then don't hurry now," he said. He drew a chair beside her and quietly
|
|
took her free hand. "Take your time. Take a week, two weeks, a month, if
|
|
you choose."
|
|
|
|
"But it's so new; it's all so new," said Muriel. "I never
|
|
suspected----Oh, I know girls are always supposed to guess; but really,
|
|
really, I never, _never_----"
|
|
|
|
There was genuine pain in her voice.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what is expected of most girls," said Stainton; "but of
|
|
you I shall never expect anything but the truth."
|
|
|
|
She looked up at him with eyes perplexed.
|
|
|
|
"Yes--yes, that is just what I want to be: honest. And--don't you
|
|
see?--that is just why--I am so uncertain--that is just why I can't,
|
|
right away, tell you----"
|
|
|
|
He pressed her hand and rose. He did not like to hurt her.
|
|
|
|
"I ask only that you will think it over," he said. "Will you think it
|
|
over, Muriel?"
|
|
|
|
She bowed her head.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said she.
|
|
|
|
"And I may come back in----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"In two weeks?"
|
|
|
|
"In two weeks." Her voice was low and shaken. "Oh, you don't mind if I
|
|
ask you to go now?" she pleaded.
|
|
|
|
"I understand," said Stainton. "I'll be back two weeks from this
|
|
evening. Good-night."
|
|
|
|
"Good-night, Mr. Stainton," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
She waited for him to go. She waited until she heard the street door
|
|
close behind him. Then she hurried in retreat toward her own room.
|
|
|
|
But Mrs. Newberry was lying in ambush on the landing when the girl came
|
|
upstairs--Mrs. Newberry, broad in white satin, with diamonds at her neck
|
|
and in her hair.
|
|
|
|
"Well?" asked the aunt.
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" cried Muriel. She started. "Aunt Ethel!"
|
|
|
|
"Well?"
|
|
|
|
"You frightened me," Muriel explained. "I didn't see you until you
|
|
spoke."
|
|
|
|
"Well?" persisted Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
"Nothing. That's all," said Muriel. "Nothing--only that----"
|
|
|
|
Ethel became diplomatic:
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Stainton didn't stay very long?"
|
|
|
|
"Not very long, Aunty."
|
|
|
|
Ethel heard something ominous in her niece's tone.
|
|
|
|
"You didn't--you don't mean to say you sent him _away_?"
|
|
|
|
"No, Aunty. Good-night."
|
|
|
|
"It's early. You're going to bed so early?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think I'll go to bed. I'm--I'm tired."
|
|
|
|
"But it's early," repeated Mrs. Newberry, who was accustomed to order
|
|
her life according to hours and not to reason.
|
|
|
|
"Is it?" said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"It's scarcely ten. The library clock just struck."
|
|
|
|
"I think it struck some time ago."
|
|
|
|
"Did it?"
|
|
|
|
"I think I shall go to bed, Aunty."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry sought to bar the way, but she could not succeed in that
|
|
when she could think of no pretext for detaining the girl, so Muriel
|
|
brushed past her and went to her own room.
|
|
|
|
Ethel returned to the library--so called because it contained a few
|
|
hundred unread books, the newspapers, and all the current magazines. She
|
|
said to herself that she wanted to think it over, "it" being the
|
|
opportunity that she had so ceremoniously afforded Stainton and Muriel,
|
|
together with Muriel's sudden desire for privacy.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, think it over as she would, she made nothing of it. When
|
|
Preston returned from one of his clubs, several hours later, she was no
|
|
nearer to a solution than she had at first been, and she told him so.
|
|
|
|
"I don't understand it," said Ethel. "I don't understand it at all."
|
|
|
|
Preston enjoyed his clubs so much that he rarely returned from them in
|
|
his pleasantest mood.
|
|
|
|
"Then," he asked, "don't you think it might possibly be just as well for
|
|
you to let it alone?"
|
|
|
|
This occurred on a Thursday. As the week progressed and passed and James
|
|
Stainton did not reappear, Mrs. Newberry found it increasingly difficult
|
|
to follow the advice that her husband had pointedly suggested. She
|
|
assailed Muriel several times to no purpose. She wrote to Stainton,
|
|
asking him to come to dinner, but he replied that he was too desperately
|
|
engaged in some business that she surmised was vaguely connected with a
|
|
French syndicate and his mine. Then, Muriel's silence unbroken, she made
|
|
one or two tentative advances, merely inviting the confidence that she
|
|
had theretofore demanded as her consanguineous right; but her niece's
|
|
manner of meeting these advances merely served to simplify the task of
|
|
wifely obedience.
|
|
|
|
When light was at last cast on the puzzle, it was Muriel's free will
|
|
that vouchsafed it. On the Wednesday that fell thirteen days after
|
|
Stainton's mysteriously terminated call, Muriel entered Ethel's
|
|
boudoir--it was a pink boudoir--where Mrs. Newberry was attempting, at
|
|
eleven o'clock in the morning, to dress in time for a two o'clock
|
|
luncheon.
|
|
|
|
"Can you spare Marie?" asked Muriel. Marie was Mrs. Newberry's maid,
|
|
just then fluttering about her mistress, who, her dressing advanced only
|
|
beyond the ordeal of corsets, was seated, in a grandiose kimono, before
|
|
mirrors.
|
|
|
|
"In two hours and a half perhaps I can," said Ethel. "Why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because I want to talk with you."
|
|
|
|
This was odd. It was so odd that Mrs. Newberry should have scented its
|
|
import; only, it is difficult to scent the import of anything when one
|
|
has supped late the night before, when the first "rat" has not been
|
|
nested upon one's head, and when one has but an eighth part of a day in
|
|
which to make ready for a luncheon.
|
|
|
|
"Really, Muriel," complained Ethel. "You do choose the most remarkable
|
|
moments for conversation. It's only eleven o'clock! What on earth can
|
|
you want to talk about at such an hour?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel quietly seated herself by the window.
|
|
|
|
"About Mr. Stainton," she said.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry started so violently that a shower of gilt hairpins
|
|
clattered upon the dressing-table and floor.
|
|
|
|
"You may go, Marie," she gasped. She waited until the maid had shut the
|
|
door. Then she turned her gaze full upon her niece. "What is it?" she
|
|
cried.
|
|
|
|
"He wants to marry me."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry floundered to her feet and rushed upon Muriel. Her flowing
|
|
sleeves flew back to her sturdy shoulders. She flung plump arms around
|
|
Muriel's neck.
|
|
|
|
"My dear girl!" said she. She kissed the dear girl on both passive
|
|
cheeks. Then she inquired: "You've had a letter?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Muriel. "He asked me."
|
|
|
|
"But, my dear, he hasn't been here for nearly two weeks. It was--let me
|
|
see--yes, it will be two weeks to-morrow evening."
|
|
|
|
"That was when he asked me, Aunty."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry's embrace relaxed. She looked hurt.
|
|
|
|
"And you never told me! I think that implies a lack of confidence--a
|
|
lack of affection, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know. I wanted to think it over first."
|
|
|
|
"Think it over! What was there to debate, I should like to know?"
|
|
|
|
"A good deal, it seemed to me; and anyhow, Aunty, I think this is the
|
|
sort of thing a girl has to decide for herself--if she can."
|
|
|
|
"Where ever did you get such notions? A girl never _can_ decide it for
|
|
herself."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's answering smile was rueful.
|
|
|
|
"_I_ couldn't, at any rate," she said, "and so, even if I'm late about
|
|
it, I've come to you."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry was reassured. After all, the thing had happened; Muriel's
|
|
future--so we fatuous moderns reason--was at last secured. According to
|
|
the custom of her time and class, Ethel had always taken it for granted
|
|
that a poor girl married to a rich man is as safe as a good girl gone
|
|
to Heaven--and more certainly comfortable. She became radiant. It was
|
|
necessary only that they make such decent speed as would prevent any
|
|
other young woman from interfering.
|
|
|
|
"Well," she said, "I'm glad you _have_ come, because, since long
|
|
engagements aren't fashionable any more, your uncle and I must naturally
|
|
have all the warning possible--for your uncle will, of course, provide
|
|
the wedding. I think it had better be next month--yes, next month and at
|
|
St. Bartholomew's."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's cheek paled. She turned again to the window and looked out.
|
|
|
|
"I don't think you quite understand," she said. "I'm not sure----"
|
|
|
|
"Now, don't be silly," interrupted Mrs. Newberry. "I won't hear any
|
|
foolish talk about a home wedding or a quiet wedding. It isn't the
|
|
proper thing for a wedding to be quiet; it isn't natural; besides, you
|
|
have been living here in your uncle's house, and you owe something to
|
|
his position."
|
|
|
|
"That's not it." Muriel's back was still turned; her eyes were fixed on
|
|
the cold rain that was falling.
|
|
|
|
"Well," asked Mrs. Newberry, in complete bewilderment, "then what _is_
|
|
it?"
|
|
|
|
"I am not sure that I love Mr. Stainton."
|
|
|
|
The plump Mrs. Newberry again rose. Her face was a pretty blank.
|
|
|
|
"Love?" she repeated, as if she had heard that word somewhere before
|
|
but could not for the life of her recall where. "_Love_, did you say?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," replied Muriel; "I don't know whether I love him."
|
|
|
|
"What next?" asked Ethel. "Love? You don't know whether you love him!
|
|
The idea! You're too young to know anything about it, my child. Of
|
|
course you love him. You're just too young to know it, that's all."
|
|
|
|
Muriel displayed a wistful face.
|
|
|
|
"I'm eighteen."
|
|
|
|
"A mere baby."
|
|
|
|
"Then I should think I was too young to marry."
|
|
|
|
"_Do_ you think so?"
|
|
|
|
"No, only----"
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry waxed wise.
|
|
|
|
"As a matter of fact, Muriel, haven't you," she enquired, "often thought
|
|
of marrying even when you were younger than you are now?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes!"
|
|
|
|
"_Well_, then!" Mrs. Newberry in the past few weeks had acquired a few
|
|
of her husband's mannerisms, together with some of his convictions.
|
|
|
|
But this convincing argument did not settle matters. Muriel again faced
|
|
the window; she seemed to draw inspiration for her incomprehensible
|
|
stubbornness from the prospect of dripping Madison Avenue.
|
|
|
|
"It's not so easy----" she began.
|
|
|
|
"Isn't he kind?" demanded Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, he's kind."
|
|
|
|
"You certainly think him good-looking, child. In fact, _I_ should call
|
|
him handsome."
|
|
|
|
"I think he is _almost_ handsome, Aunty."
|
|
|
|
"Of course he is. I have heard lots of women simply _rave_ about him.
|
|
And he is in love with you? You can't deny that?"
|
|
|
|
"Did you know it, Aunty?"
|
|
|
|
"How could anyone help knowing it? He shows it all the time. He can't
|
|
keep his eyes off you."
|
|
|
|
"Then, why didn't you tell me?"
|
|
|
|
"Because----Why, it was so evident that we took it for granted you
|
|
knew."
|
|
|
|
"We?"
|
|
|
|
"Your uncle and I, yes."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! There doesn't seem to be any doubt in _his_ mind that he's in love
|
|
with me."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly, Muriel; and he is rich--quite rich. Why, there are hundreds of
|
|
girls in New York who would give their eyes to catch him. Hundreds of
|
|
them."
|
|
|
|
"But he is----" Muriel hesitated.
|
|
|
|
"Yes?"
|
|
|
|
"He's not young, Aunty."
|
|
|
|
"What has that to do with it?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know, but I should think it might have a good deal to do with
|
|
it. Don't people say that the young love the young?"
|
|
|
|
"And marry them, you mean? Really, my dear, you have such romantic
|
|
notions! In that case, what's to become of the old?"
|
|
|
|
"They're supposed to have married before they became old, I should
|
|
think. Now, I am only eighteen. I don't know--I'm only speculating about
|
|
it, and I like Mr. Stainton very much--but when you think of a man of
|
|
his age marrying----"
|
|
|
|
Again Mrs. Newberry interrupted. She had her position to maintain: her
|
|
position as Preston Newberry's wife.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," she said, "I can guess what is in your mind, but I cannot
|
|
guess how it got there. You shock me."
|
|
|
|
"But, Aunty----"
|
|
|
|
"That is enough. There are _some_ things that a young girl should not
|
|
discuss."
|
|
|
|
Muriel put her hands to her burning cheeks.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you don't understand!" she cried. "You don't understand at all. I
|
|
don't know what you mean! But he's fifty." She almost sobbed. "I don't
|
|
care what Uncle Preston says. I _know_ he is fifty!"
|
|
|
|
It was a trying moment for Mrs. Newberry, but she met it bravely. She
|
|
considered Muriel. Then, in the glass, she considered her own image.
|
|
|
|
"Look at me," commanded Mrs. Newberry.
|
|
|
|
Her eyes still suffused with unshed tears, Muriel obeyed.
|
|
|
|
"_I_," said her aunt--"do _I_ look old?"
|
|
|
|
She did not look young, but Muriel loved her, and those whom a child
|
|
loves seldom grow old.
|
|
|
|
"No," said Muriel, loyally.
|
|
|
|
"Well," confessed Ethel, "_I_ am fifty." She was fifty-two. It was a
|
|
sacrifice, nobly offered, upon the altar of family affection. She saw
|
|
nothing in the future for her niece if Stainton could not be made to
|
|
suffice. "But," she added, "you must never tell anyone. All I want to
|
|
explain to you is that fifty is nothing--absolutely nothing at all."
|
|
|
|
It is, however, the common fate of sacrifices made for family affection
|
|
to go unrecognised by the family. Muriel, honest within the limits of
|
|
her limited training, clear-sighted, was unconvinced.
|
|
|
|
"Anyhow," she decided, "the question isn't whether he is old or young, I
|
|
suppose. I guess the only question is: Do I love him? I thought all last
|
|
night perhaps you could answer that, but of course I was wrong. I see
|
|
that now. I dare say no person can ever really answer such a question
|
|
but the person that asks it. I was right in the first place: I have to
|
|
find out for myself--and yet I don't seem able to find out for myself,
|
|
either."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
VII
|
|
|
|
FIRE AND TOW
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Newberry's arguments were unavailing. Her pleas failed and so did
|
|
her eulogies of Stainton: both of Stainton the hero and Stainton the
|
|
rich man. Her tears sufficed not. There was no course but to recall her
|
|
luncheon engagement. Her incompetence in the matter sharpened her
|
|
tongue.
|
|
|
|
They quarrelled. Muriel, in a tempest of sobbing anger, fled to her own
|
|
room; Mrs. Newberry fled to the luncheon.
|
|
|
|
Upon her return Ethel found that Muriel had gone out. Preston was in his
|
|
"study," studying the stock reports in the Wall Street edition of his
|
|
evening paper, and to him she straightway unburdened herself.
|
|
|
|
"_What_ do you think of it?" She breathlessly enquired.
|
|
|
|
"I think you meddled," said her husband.
|
|
|
|
"But, Preston, the child came to me. I didn't go to her."
|
|
|
|
"If you didn't, it was no fault of yours. You've been trying to get at
|
|
her for God knows how long. Let her be. For Heaven's sake, let her be,
|
|
Ethel. If you do, she is sure to take him, because I have always
|
|
carefully given her to understand that she may expect nothing from me. I
|
|
have been conscientious about that. And she must know that we are doing
|
|
her a good-sized favour this winter. But if you don't let her alone, she
|
|
is bound to botch the whole affair."
|
|
|
|
He put aside his newspaper and prepared to go to that one of his clubs
|
|
at which he could obtain the best cocktail. As he was about to leave the
|
|
house, Muriel entered it. Preston smiled.
|
|
|
|
"Hello," he said. "Been for a walk?"
|
|
|
|
The girl was flushed and patently troubled.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Uncle Preston," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Hum. Just going myself. How's the weather?"
|
|
|
|
"Lovely," murmured Muriel. She wanted to hurry to her room.
|
|
|
|
"What? Why, when I looked out a bit ago, I was sure it was raining."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes; I believe it is raining. I didn't notice."
|
|
|
|
Preston chuckled. He put out a thick thumb and forefinger and pinched
|
|
her cheek.
|
|
|
|
"I've always heard that love was blind," he said, "but nowadays it seems
|
|
to be water-proof, too. Look here, my dear: your aunt has been dropping
|
|
a hint or two to me, and I congratulate you."
|
|
|
|
"On what?" asked Muriel, bristling into immediate rebellion.
|
|
|
|
Again Preston chuckled.
|
|
|
|
"Tut, tut!" he said: he always treated her as if she were the child
|
|
that he had always maintained to his wife she was not. "You know well
|
|
enough. He's a fine fellow and well-to-do. Even if we could afford to
|
|
keep you on here indefinitely, which of course we can't, it would be a
|
|
good job. Lucky girl!"
|
|
|
|
He went out after that and left his wife's niece free again to hide
|
|
herself. But not entirely. Ethel, unable to resist her desire for
|
|
finality, soon tapped at Muriel's door.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!" she called.
|
|
|
|
For some time there was no answer, though Mrs. Newberry made sure that
|
|
she heard sounds within the room.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Who is there?"
|
|
|
|
"It's me--Aunt Ethel."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Aunt Ethel?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, Muriel--are you all right?"
|
|
|
|
"Quite, thanks."
|
|
|
|
"Don't you want anything?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Nothing at _all_?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing at all, thank you."
|
|
|
|
Ethel hesitated.
|
|
|
|
"But, Muriel----"
|
|
|
|
The girl apparently waited for her aunt to finish the sentence that
|
|
Ethel had not completed.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes?"
|
|
|
|
Ethel softly tried the door: as she had supposed, it was locked.
|
|
|
|
"O, Muriel, do open the door and let me in."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"Because, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"But why? I'm--I'm dressing."
|
|
|
|
"But--surely you know why, Muriel. Why won't you confide in me?"
|
|
|
|
There was a long wait for the answer to this question, but the answer,
|
|
when it came, was resolute enough:
|
|
|
|
"I've nothing to confide. Please go away now, Aunt Ethel, and leave me
|
|
alone. Please do."
|
|
|
|
Ethel went. She returned, of course, from time to time, whenever she
|
|
could think of a new excuse or a new suggestion; but she was always
|
|
worsted.
|
|
|
|
Muriel did not descend to dinner that night until she was sure that Mr.
|
|
Newberry, whose deterrent attitude she instinctively counted upon, was
|
|
there with her aunt. She contrived to be left alone not once with Ethel.
|
|
It was the habit of the members of the Newberry household to breakfast
|
|
together only by chance, which meant that they generally ate separately.
|
|
When Thursday's luncheon was announced, Muriel sent down word that she
|
|
had a headache.
|
|
|
|
"_What_ do you do when a girl locks her door on you?" asked Ethel of her
|
|
husband.
|
|
|
|
"They never lock their doors on me," said Preston.
|
|
|
|
"Do be serious. What in the world do you make of all this?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear," answered Newberry, "the only thing I am bothered about is
|
|
what _you_ may already have made of it. I'm afraid you have made a
|
|
mess."
|
|
|
|
"But, Preston----"
|
|
|
|
"There is nothing to be done now but to wait, my dear."
|
|
|
|
So it befell that when, exactly at nine o'clock that evening, Stainton's
|
|
card was sent up to Miss Stannard, Miss Stannard's guardians, one of
|
|
whom stayed long in the library with ears vainly intent, were as much at
|
|
sea regarding their ward's decision as was Stainton himself.
|
|
|
|
Muriel's own emotional condition was no more enlightened. Like all young
|
|
people, she had had her visions of romance, and, like the visions of
|
|
most young people, hers had been uninstructed, misdirected, misapplied.
|
|
All women, it has been said, begin life by having in their inmost heart
|
|
a self-created Prince Charming, who proves the strongest rival that
|
|
their destined husbands have to endure. Such a prince was as much
|
|
Muriel's as he is other girls'! She had created him unknowingly from the
|
|
books she had read, from the pictures she had seen, out of blue sky and
|
|
sunshine and the soft first breezes of Spring: the stuff of dreams. But
|
|
she was eighteen and no longer in school, and Stainton had given her a
|
|
glimpse of the great happy thing that she accepted as life.
|
|
|
|
What lacked? Something. While she descended the stairs she counted his
|
|
attributes in her aching brain. He was handsome, brave, well esteemed.
|
|
If he was not young, he did not seem anything but young. What was youth,
|
|
that it should be essential? What did it amount to if it were but the
|
|
unit of measurement for a life--a mere figure of speech--something
|
|
simply verbal? This man had, it appeared, the reality without the name.
|
|
What was this quality worth if its virtue resided in its name and not in
|
|
its substance? Why should she even ask these questions--and why, when
|
|
she asked, could she find no answer?
|
|
|
|
She paused. It struck her suddenly that the fault might lie in her.
|
|
Perhaps it was she that lacked. Perhaps--as a traveller may see an
|
|
unfamiliar landscape by a lightning flash--she saw this now; the loss
|
|
might be not in Stainton; it might be something that she had not yet
|
|
acquired.
|
|
|
|
Therein, to be sure, was the clew to the muddle. Nearer than that
|
|
lightning flash of the situation she did not come. Love, as we know it
|
|
in our civilisation, is not an element: it is a composite. In this girl,
|
|
descending to meet the man that wanted to marry her and even now
|
|
ignorant of the answer she should give him, there lay the Greater
|
|
Ignorance. Companionship, affection, kindly feeling--all these things
|
|
and more--she had for him; but the omnipotent force that welds and
|
|
dominates and forges these elements into one, unified, spiritual,
|
|
intellectual, and bodily love, the law that begets this and nourishes
|
|
it--this she did not as yet know, had never known.
|
|
|
|
The Newberry drawing-room was as it had been two weeks before. The
|
|
crackling fire danced over its gilt-and-white prettiness, the heavy,
|
|
ivory curtains, which folded behind her, shut out all the world.
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose from a seat beside the fire, much as if he had been there
|
|
since last she saw him. The interval of a fortnight seemed as nothing.
|
|
She noticed again how tall and strong and fine he seemed, how virile,
|
|
how much the master, not only of his own fate but of himself. He came
|
|
forward with outstretched hands.
|
|
|
|
"Have you thought things over?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
There was no manoeuvring now, no backing and filling. The time for
|
|
pretence was passed.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she said. "I have thought of nothing else, and yet--and yet----"
|
|
|
|
His brows contracted slightly, but he kept his steady hand upon the
|
|
tight rein by which he was accustomed to drive himself.
|
|
|
|
"And yet you aren't sure?" he supplied. "You have not been able to make
|
|
up your mind?"
|
|
|
|
She hung her head. On the edge of the hearth-rug she traced a stupid
|
|
figure with the toe of her bead-embroidered slipper.
|
|
|
|
"I can't tell," she said, "I've tried. I've tried very hard----"
|
|
|
|
"To love me?"
|
|
|
|
"No." She wished to be honest; she determined upon being honest. She
|
|
owed him that, even should it hurt him. "No," she said, "not to love
|
|
you; for if I had to try to love you, it wouldn't be real love at all,
|
|
would it? What I tried to find out was whether I do love you now."
|
|
|
|
It was on his lips to say that, as surely as trying to love would not
|
|
create love, so, if love was, it need not be sought. But she raised her
|
|
face when she ended, and, when the light fell upon that, he forgot all
|
|
casuistry. Her slim figure just entering upon womanhood, her blue-black
|
|
hair, her damp red lips and her great dark eyes: she was as he had seen
|
|
her first, like an evening in the woods, he reflected: warm and dusky
|
|
and bathed in the light of stars.
|
|
|
|
Quite suddenly and wholly without premeditation he came to her and
|
|
seized her hot palms in his cool hands. For years he had mastered
|
|
passion; now, at this sight of her after the two weeks' separation,
|
|
passion mastered him. The rein had snapped.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he said, "I can make you love me. You don't know--there are
|
|
things you don't know. I can make you love me. Do you hear that? Muriel?
|
|
Answer! Do you understand? I will make you love me. I will!"
|
|
|
|
She looked up at his face. It was alight as she had never yet seen any
|
|
man's. Then, before she had gathered her breath to give him an answer,
|
|
she was seized by him. She was crushed to him; she was held tight in his
|
|
strong arms. She was hurt, and, as she was hurt, their lips met.
|
|
|
|
The miracle--oh, she was sure now that it was the miracle--happened.
|
|
Something new clutched at her throat. Something new, wonderfully,
|
|
terrifyingly, deliciously new, gripped at her heart and set her whole
|
|
body athrill and trembling. The blood pounded in her temples. She tried
|
|
to look at him, but a violet mist covered her eyes and hid him.
|
|
|
|
"Kiss me!" she was whispering as his lips left hers. "Kiss me again. I
|
|
know now. I love you!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
VIII
|
|
|
|
"THE WORLD-WITHOUT-END BARGAIN"
|
|
|
|
|
|
And so they were married. Mrs. Newberry had her way: they were married
|
|
within the month and within the church.
|
|
|
|
Preston's troubles, meanwhile, were hard to bear, and were not borne in
|
|
silence. By faith, as has been noted, he was a Presbyterian; but by
|
|
reason of his social position it was incumbent to attend
|
|
occasionally--so often, in fact, as he went to church at all--an
|
|
establishment of the Protestant Episcopal persuasion. Yet it appeared,
|
|
when he came to arrange for the wedding of his wife's niece, which was
|
|
the first he had ever arranged for, that there were ecclesiastical
|
|
distinctions about weddings concerning which he had never previously
|
|
dreamed. There were certain churches where one was expected to be a
|
|
regular Sunday attendant; but when it came to a wedding, these would not
|
|
serve: a wedding, to be socially correct, must occur in one of two or
|
|
three churches in which, apparently, nothing else ever occurred. They
|
|
seemed to be set aside for the exclusive business of marrying, and they
|
|
married only exclusive people. Through one's sexton one rented one of
|
|
these as one rents the Berkeley Lyceum, save that, in the matter of the
|
|
wedding church, its rector is thrown in for good measure; then, when one
|
|
proposed to introduce one's friend Buggins, the composer, to play the
|
|
wedding-marches, one was told that only the church's regular organist
|
|
was permitted to play the church's superb organ, and that, if one really
|
|
required music, the regular organist could be hired at so much--and "so
|
|
much" was not so pleasantly indefinite as it sounded.
|
|
|
|
"I never before realised what my father-in-law went through for me,"
|
|
said Preston.
|
|
|
|
"Things are never so hard as you think they'll be," said his wife in an
|
|
effort at comfort.
|
|
|
|
"Things are always worse," replied the uncomforted Newberry. "Thank the
|
|
Lord, I'll never have to arrange for another marriage. I thought that
|
|
was Heaven's business, anyhow: I thought marriages were made in heaven.
|
|
I'd rather be the advance agent of a minstrel show."
|
|
|
|
Still, in some fashion or other--and Mrs. Newberry and the papers were
|
|
satisfied that it was the very best fashion--the thing was accomplished.
|
|
There was an immediate "Engagement Dinner" given by Ethel; there were
|
|
other dinners given by Jim; there were luncheons given by friends of
|
|
Muriel and the Newberrys; then, at last, there was Stainton's
|
|
bachelor-supper to George Holt and the ushers-to-be, whom Holt had
|
|
collected, held at Sherry's, whence everybody except the host departed
|
|
in one of the four socially requisite stages of drunkenness, and so the
|
|
climax, with the hired church, the hired parson, the frock coats, the
|
|
staring eyes, the odour of flowers, the demure bridesmaids, and the
|
|
hired organist playing Wagner and Mendelssohn and "The Voice That
|
|
Breathed O'er Eden."
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not long remember all these things, was never even aware
|
|
that at this wedding, as at all the other public demonstrations that go
|
|
by the same name, the young girls wondered what it portended and the
|
|
young men smirked because they knew. After a brief engagement in which
|
|
the flames of his desire had grown in expectant intensity upon the fuel
|
|
of those minor favours which conventional engagements make the right of
|
|
the man, he was hurried into the church in no state of mind that a sane
|
|
man would willingly describe as sane. He remembered only that he felt
|
|
white and solemn; that he had an interminable wait in the vestry with
|
|
Holt, a silently reconciled best-man, and a second wait at the altar
|
|
rail, where he was the centre of interest and commiseration until the
|
|
bride appeared, when he fell to an importance scarcely equal to that of
|
|
the clergyman and far below that of the pew opener. Only these things he
|
|
remembered, and that Muriel, with her sweetly serious face admirably set
|
|
off by the white in which she was clad, looked all that he wished her to
|
|
look and strangely spiritual besides. The next event of which he was at
|
|
all certainly conscious was the hurried reception and the swiftly
|
|
following bridal breakfast where Preston Newberry made truly pathetic
|
|
references to some "lamp of sunshine" that had been "filched forever"
|
|
from the Newberry home.
|
|
|
|
Preston was more than a little relieved. He found it in his heart to
|
|
wish Muriel well.
|
|
|
|
"Good-bye, youngster," he said, when she came to him in her going-away
|
|
gown. "Good-bye." ("For the sake of goodness, Ethel, stop that
|
|
snivelling!") "He's a fine old buck and he'll be kind to you, I'm sure."
|
|
("My dear, _stop_ it! Hasn't the girl got what you've wanted her to have
|
|
ever since you set eyes on him?")
|
|
|
|
Muriel heard the asides addressed to Mrs. Newberry and winced at the
|
|
adjective openly applied to Jim, but she bit her lip and tossed her head
|
|
and went away radiant for the first month of their honeymoon in Aiken,
|
|
where she was happy with new and tremendous delights that received and
|
|
asked and gave and demanded and grew.
|
|
|
|
She had not before adequately guessed at happiness of this sort. It was
|
|
as if her material world had always been at twilight--a soft, luminous,
|
|
fragrant twilight, but twilight nevertheless--and that now, without the
|
|
intervention of darkness, there had come the undreamed of wonder of
|
|
dawn. She ran forth to meet the sunlight. She was eager, primal. She
|
|
opened her arms to it. She gave herself to it because she gloried in
|
|
it. Unsuspected capacities, unknown emotions welled in her, and she gave
|
|
them forth and seized their purchase price. Her husband became in her
|
|
eyes something glorious and marvellous. There was no more question of
|
|
his years; she thought no more of that than any Greek girl would have
|
|
questioned the youth of a condescending Zeus. He revealed; he seemed
|
|
even to be the maker of what he revealed. She knew love at last; she was
|
|
certain that she knew love. She was in love with love.
|
|
|
|
For Stainton, and strangely in the same manner, that same magic
|
|
prevailed. Alone with her he could not keep his hands from her
|
|
loveliness; before strangers his eyes ravished it--his eyes shone and
|
|
his cheeks flushed and his brain turned dizzy with the thought that this
|
|
was his, all his own. In the desert of his life he had come finally to
|
|
the long desired oasis. The journey to it, the waiting, the molten
|
|
moons, and the weary afternoons of march had not robbed him of the
|
|
ability to reach it and enjoy it. He was young--he was still young!
|
|
|
|
"Let's climb the hill and see the sunset," he said to her.
|
|
|
|
This was toward the end of their second week. They were in their sitting
|
|
room in the hotel, Jim seated, in flannel shirt and walking trousers,
|
|
but Muriel still in a flowing kimono, at rest on the floor, her head,
|
|
with its wealth of blue-black hair, resting on her husband's knee, her
|
|
arms about his waist.
|
|
|
|
"No, no," she answered. "I don't want to see the sunset. Sunsets are so
|
|
sad. They mean the end of something, and I don't want to think of
|
|
endings, dear. We mustn't think of them, because we are at our
|
|
beginning."
|
|
|
|
He smiled and stroked her hair, and the touch, as always, thrilled him
|
|
to a great tenderness.
|
|
|
|
"Beginning?" he echoed. "Yes, that's it. It must be the beginning of
|
|
something that will never have an end."
|
|
|
|
Her dusky eyes glowed.
|
|
|
|
"Never!" she repeated, and then, as an unreasoned wistfulness shot
|
|
through her, she whispered: "It never will end, will it, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
"How could it, sweetheart?"
|
|
|
|
"But I mean it will always go on like this--just like this. I don't want
|
|
us just to grow used to each other, just stupid and merely
|
|
satisfied--just--just affectionate and fond."
|
|
|
|
"We can never come to that. We love too much, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"Then don't let's forget ever," she pleaded, her arms tightening. "It
|
|
must all be honeymoon, forever and forever."
|
|
|
|
He raised her face and kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Always," he said--"always morning. We will never let the shadows
|
|
lengthen; we will hold back the hands of the clock." He kissed her
|
|
again. "You know that we will?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"I know--I know," she answered.
|
|
|
|
They had no quarrels. There was only one matter in which she deviated so
|
|
much as a hair's breadth from his ideal of her and there was but one
|
|
occasion when she was hurt by any act of his.
|
|
|
|
The first of these affairs sprang from a conversation started by a
|
|
letter with a blue French twenty-five-centime stamp upon it, which their
|
|
always discreet waiter brought to the rooms one morning with the coffee.
|
|
It had been forwarded from New York.
|
|
|
|
"What's that?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
Stainton had been reading with his iron-grey brows in a pucker and a
|
|
smile on his lips.
|
|
|
|
"It is a Frenchman trying to write English," he said. "He doesn't
|
|
succeed."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but what _is_ it?"
|
|
|
|
"Only business, dear."
|
|
|
|
"Then I ought to see it," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
Stainton laughed.
|
|
|
|
"What?" he said.
|
|
|
|
"If it is business, I ought to see it," she repeated.
|
|
|
|
"Trouble your little head with such matters? Not much."
|
|
|
|
She came to him as if to kiss him, then quickly seized the letter and
|
|
ran laughing away. He pursued her, laughing, too; but she was more
|
|
agile than her husband, and she managed easily to evade him until her
|
|
eyes had caught enough of the letter to enable her to guess its entire
|
|
contents.
|
|
|
|
"So they want to buy your mine?" she asked. "They say their expert has
|
|
returned and reported"--she glanced again at the letter as his fingers
|
|
closed on it--"reported favourably."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he said; "it's a French syndicate, some wealthy men in Lyons, and
|
|
they want to buy the mine."
|
|
|
|
"But you won't sell?"
|
|
|
|
"If I can get my figure, I will."
|
|
|
|
"Your mine?"
|
|
|
|
"Our mine."
|
|
|
|
For that she kissed him.
|
|
|
|
"But, if it's ours, I have something to say about it, and I won't let
|
|
you."
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" he asked, smiling at her pretty assumption.
|
|
|
|
"Because I think it would be horrid of you to sell it after all the
|
|
years you spent looking for it."
|
|
|
|
"I wasn't looking for it on its own account, dear; I was looking for it
|
|
because of what it would bring me."
|
|
|
|
"I wish you'd take me to see it."
|
|
|
|
"It's a dull place, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"I wish you'd take me. I wouldn't find it dull."
|
|
|
|
"I shall take you to France instead."
|
|
|
|
"To sell the mine?"
|
|
|
|
"To try."
|
|
|
|
"Horrid!" she pouted.
|
|
|
|
"But, dearest," he explained, "I don't want to have a mine on my hands.
|
|
I have you."
|
|
|
|
"Do I keep you busy?"
|
|
|
|
"You are a gold mine. Don't you see? I want to be free. If I can get my
|
|
price, we shall be rich."
|
|
|
|
"I thought we were rich now."
|
|
|
|
"With a mine run by an agent, yes. But if I sold to this syndicate--now,
|
|
you mustn't talk about this outside, you know----"
|
|
|
|
"Of course I know."
|
|
|
|
"Or write it home."
|
|
|
|
"Of course not."
|
|
|
|
"Well, then, if these people buy, we shall be rich without any more
|
|
agents or any more work. I have had enough of mining to make me certain
|
|
that I don't want to chain any son of mine down to the business."
|
|
|
|
"Any----" The word turned her suddenly white. In the midst of the
|
|
intimacies of the honeymoon, reference to children painted her cheeks
|
|
with scarlet.
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled indulgently. He put a strong arm about her and patted
|
|
her shoulder.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, any sons, dear," he said. "Did you never think of that? Did you
|
|
never think how sweet it would be if we two that are one should really
|
|
see ourselves made one in a little baby?"
|
|
|
|
To his amazement she burst into tears.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want a baby!" she wailed, her head on his shoulder, her hands
|
|
clasped behind him. "I don't want a baby. No, no, no!"
|
|
|
|
He tried to persuade her, but he could scarcely make himself heard until
|
|
he abandoned the topic.
|
|
|
|
"There, there," he said, "it's all right. I wouldn't hurt you, dearest;
|
|
you know I wouldn't. There will be nothing to worry about."
|
|
|
|
His heart ached because he had hurt her. He told himself that he should
|
|
have remembered that her present nervous condition could not be normal.
|
|
He upbraided himself for making to her, no matter how long he might have
|
|
been married to her, a frank proposition that her sensitive nature
|
|
probably repelled only because of the matter-of-fact way in which he had
|
|
suggested what, he thought, should have been more delicately put. He did
|
|
not change his design; he merely ceased to speak of it. Throughout the
|
|
world the only persons not consulted about the possible bearing of
|
|
children are the only persons able to bear them. Stainton no longer made
|
|
an exception of Muriel. He decided that the best management of these
|
|
matters was to leave them to chance for their occurrence and nature for
|
|
their acceptance.
|
|
|
|
This conversation took place a week or more after their verbal
|
|
banishment of sunsets. On the night following, Jim at the demand of his
|
|
abounding health, fell asleep earlier than usual and slept, as always,
|
|
soundly; but his wife chanced to be nervous and restless. She lay long
|
|
awake and she was lonely. Twice she wished to rouse him for her
|
|
comforting; twice she refrained. When, finally, she did sleep, her sleep
|
|
was heavy, and she awoke late to find him gone. She hurried into the
|
|
sitting-room, but he was not there, and it was quite ten minutes later
|
|
when he returned, fully dressed and glowing, a newspaper in his hand.
|
|
|
|
"Where on earth have you been?" she asked. She had crawled back into
|
|
bed, and she looked very beautiful as she lay there, her black hair wide
|
|
upon the pillows and the lacy sleeves of her night-dress brushed high on
|
|
her wide-flung arms.
|
|
|
|
"Downstairs. You were fast asleep and you looked so comfy I hadn't the
|
|
heart to waken you. It's a wonderful morning----"
|
|
|
|
"But, Jim, I woke up all alone! I was afraid!"
|
|
|
|
He sat on the bed beside her. He took her in his arms, flattered. He
|
|
gave her the chuckling consolation that the strong, knowing their
|
|
strength, vouchsafe the weak. He was sorry that she should have felt
|
|
badly, but he was immensely proud that she should be dependent.
|
|
|
|
"Too bad, too bad!" he said. "But it won't happen again. Next time I'll
|
|
either rouse you or else sit tight till your dear eyes open of their own
|
|
accord."
|
|
|
|
He was still holding the newspaper in one of his embracing hands. It
|
|
rustled against her back, and, freeing herself, she saw it.
|
|
|
|
"What's that?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"A newspaper, of course. I thought I should like to see what was going
|
|
on in the world. It suddenly struck me that I hadn't looked at a
|
|
newspaper since I read the notice of our wedding--five hundred years
|
|
ago."
|
|
|
|
But Muriel pouted.
|
|
|
|
"Then," she said, "I don't see why you should begin now."
|
|
|
|
"One has to begin sometime."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see why. Is anything between us different to-day from
|
|
yesterday?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly not, sweetheart."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I thought we weren't going to be like other people. I thought we
|
|
were always going to be enough to each other."
|
|
|
|
"We are. Of course we are. But you were asleep, and, anyhow, I said I
|
|
was never going to run away again. Besides, Muriel----"
|
|
|
|
"I don't see why," Muriel maintained.
|
|
|
|
He tried to quiet her with kisses. He held her close and pressed her
|
|
face to his.
|
|
|
|
During all that month, these were the only occasions when they so much
|
|
as approached a difference of opinion. They lived, instead, in that
|
|
crowded winter resort, like a man and a girl made one upon a new island
|
|
in a deserted sea. They walked, hand in hand, and, as it seemed to them,
|
|
heart to heart, through a wonderful world that was new to them.
|
|
Happiness sparkled in their eyes and trembled at their lips. There were
|
|
times when their happiness almost made them afraid. Heaven was very
|
|
near.
|
|
|
|
Then, as the month ended, the blasting idea came to Muriel: she was
|
|
going to have a child.
|
|
|
|
It came like that. Just when everything was perfect, just when love had
|
|
realized itself. The thought lay beside her on a morning that she had
|
|
expected to wake to so differently. Muriel felt as if it were the
|
|
thought that had wakened her.
|
|
|
|
She cast a frightened look at Stainton, who was lying beside her, his
|
|
iron-grey hair disordered, his mouth slightly open, snoring gently.
|
|
|
|
"Jim!" she said. She clutched at his pajama jacket and tried to shake
|
|
him. "Jim! Jim!"
|
|
|
|
He awoke, startled. He rubbed his eyes:
|
|
|
|
"Eh? What?"
|
|
|
|
"Jim!"
|
|
|
|
Then he saw her face.
|
|
|
|
"My God! What is it, dearie?"
|
|
|
|
She gasped her fear.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!" he cried, and held her tight to his heart. His first feeling
|
|
was a flash of gratitude: his desire had been granted; he was to be the
|
|
father of a child.
|
|
|
|
But Muriel only clung to him and cried. She did not want a baby. She
|
|
was horrified at thought of it. She was panic-stricken.
|
|
|
|
Stainton watched her grief with a sore heart and essayed to soothe it;
|
|
yet, all the while, his heart swelled with a reasonless pride that
|
|
appeared to him supremely reasonable: he had performed the Divine Act;
|
|
within the year he would see a living soul clothed in his own flesh and
|
|
moulded in his own image. Like hers, his eyes, though from a vastly
|
|
different cause, were dimmed by tears.
|
|
|
|
"My dear, my dear!" he whispered. "O, my dear!"
|
|
|
|
Muriel, broken-hearted, wept hysterically.
|
|
|
|
Stainton stroked her blue-black hair. All women were like this, he
|
|
reflected; it was a law of nature. It was the same law that, in the
|
|
lower animals, first drove the female to repulse the male and then
|
|
submit to him. In mankind it began by making the woman dread the
|
|
accomplishment of her natural destiny and ended by awakening the
|
|
maternal instinct, seemingly so at variance with its preceding action.
|
|
|
|
Suddenly Muriel looked up and saw his expression. Hers grew wild.
|
|
|
|
"You--did you know it would be?" she stammered.
|
|
|
|
"There, there!" said Stainton, stroking her hair.
|
|
|
|
She drew herself free.
|
|
|
|
"You did know!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton prepared to yield to the natural law.
|
|
|
|
"Of course, I didn't _know_, dear. How could I be certain?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, but you were, you were!" she cried. "You knew. And I didn't. I
|
|
didn't know! I didn't know! And you did--_you_!"
|
|
|
|
"Dearest," said Stainton. He tried to take her hand.
|
|
|
|
She was sitting straight up in bed, looking down at him, her hair
|
|
falling over her nightgown.
|
|
|
|
"And you told me I wouldn't----You told me it wouldn't be!" she accused.
|
|
|
|
"I?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Yes, you did. You said there would be nothing to worry about.
|
|
Those were your very words, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"Well, but, dear, there won't be anything to worry about."
|
|
|
|
"Nothing to worry about!" she repeated. She put her fingers to her
|
|
temples. "Not for _you_, of course!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton was hurt: "Dearie, you know that if I could----"
|
|
|
|
"And anyhow," she interrupted, "you didn't mean that. You meant me to
|
|
think what I did think."
|
|
|
|
He felt that, in a sense, she was right: he had meant at least to quiet
|
|
her, to divert her thoughts. He was ashamed of that. He sought to
|
|
comfort her.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps you are mistaken," he said.
|
|
|
|
"No, no!" she said. She got up and, slipperless, began to pace the room.
|
|
|
|
Stainton struggled to his elbow.
|
|
|
|
"But, dearie," he said, seeking relief in logic, "you must have known
|
|
that when a girl married, she must expect--it was expected of her--it
|
|
was her duty----"
|
|
|
|
She continued to walk, her head bent.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she answered; "but I didn't know she would have to right away, or
|
|
when she didn't want to, or----"
|
|
|
|
Genuinely amazed and genuinely pained, Stainton swung his legs from the
|
|
covers and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands clasped between his
|
|
knees, his mouth agape.
|
|
|
|
"Sweetheart," he asked, "don't you love me?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course, I love you, Jim."--She was still walking.
|
|
|
|
"Then what did you think marriage was for?"
|
|
|
|
She stopped before him. "I thought it was for love," she said; and,
|
|
crumpling at his feet, put her face upon his knees.
|
|
|
|
He bent over her, stroking her hair, calling her by the names that they
|
|
had invented for each other, waiting for the natural law to assert
|
|
itself again and trying, meanwhile, to alleviate her apprehensions.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps, after all, you are mistaken."
|
|
|
|
This was the burden of his consolation.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, she was not mistaken, and the succeeding days proved it.
|
|
Nor was the natural law swift in asserting itself.
|
|
|
|
"Don't you think," he once tried to urge the law, "that it would be
|
|
beautiful if we should have a little baby?"
|
|
|
|
"_I_ sha'n't be beautiful!" she wailed. "I shall lose my looks. I----"
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I shall. I know. I have seen it--on the street--lots of places. I
|
|
shall grow--I shall----And all my lovely clothes!--Oh!"--She broke off
|
|
and hid her eyes--"I shall grow vulgar looking and horrid!"
|
|
|
|
They were walking along a country lane, and Stainton glanced about
|
|
nervously, fearing that her words, spoken in a tone altogether
|
|
unrestrained, would certainly be heard by more ears than his own. The
|
|
road, however, was empty. He drew her aside to a spot where the woods
|
|
met the lane and where, a few paces to the left of the lane, the trees
|
|
hid them. He took her into his arms.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he said, "if I could go through this for you, I would; you
|
|
know that."
|
|
|
|
"I know you can't go through it for me," she wept, "and so it's easy
|
|
enough for you to say."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Jim, "I can't go through it for you, and so you see, it must
|
|
be God's will that it should be as it is to be."
|
|
|
|
She was worn out by the days of worry, but she made one more appeal.
|
|
|
|
"Jim," she said, "can't you do something else for me?"
|
|
|
|
He knitted his brows.
|
|
|
|
"Something else?" he wondered. "I can love you; I can back you up with
|
|
all the love of my body and brain and soul. You may always count on
|
|
that, sweetheart."
|
|
|
|
"But"--her eyes looked straight into his--"can't you _do_ something?"
|
|
|
|
He understood. He fell back a step, his face grey.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!" he whispered.
|
|
|
|
"I've read of such things in the papers," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!"
|
|
|
|
His eyes were so horrified that she hung her head.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, it's wrong; I know it's wrong," she said. "But, oh, if you knew how
|
|
afraid I was of this and how I hate and how--O, Jim, Jim!"
|
|
|
|
She tottered forward, and his arms received her.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel, my dear wife," he said. "My own dear little girl, to think that
|
|
when God has put a life into our keeping, you----Why, Muriel, that is
|
|
murder!"
|
|
|
|
That word won Stainton's victory. Muriel succumbed. For her it was like
|
|
the safe passing of one of those physical crises when the patient had
|
|
rather die than face the pain of further living; for him it was the
|
|
sealing of his happiness.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
IX
|
|
|
|
ANOTHER ROAD
|
|
|
|
|
|
It was a few days later that Muriel, the reconciled, decided that she
|
|
wanted to leave Aiken.
|
|
|
|
"Don't you think," she asked, for she had come unconsciously often to
|
|
use phrases characteristic of Jim, "that a change of scene would be good
|
|
for us both?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton had not thought so. He had wandered so much in his life that,
|
|
now wandering was no longer a necessity of life, he was tired of it.
|
|
Besides, he was eminently satisfied with Aiken.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," he said. "I think it's splendid here. Haven't we
|
|
been--aren't you happy, dear?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel was looking out of the window of their hotel sitting-room.
|
|
|
|
"Of course I'm happy," she said in a low voice. "At least," she added,
|
|
"I know I ought to be, and I know I never knew what happiness was till I
|
|
had you. It was only that I thought it would be--perhaps it would be
|
|
good for me--now--if we travelled."
|
|
|
|
Stainton cursed himself for a negligent brute.
|
|
|
|
"What a beast I am!" he said, his arm encircling her waist. "We shall go
|
|
wherever you want, and we shall go to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
Muriel smiled ruefully.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps," she submitted, "the real reason is only that I've always
|
|
wanted so to travel and have never had the chance before."
|
|
|
|
But Stainton would hear of no reason but her first. He upbraided himself
|
|
again for his stupidity in not guessing her need before she could have
|
|
given it expression.
|
|
|
|
"I've been cruel to you!" he declared.
|
|
|
|
She stopped him with a swift embrace.
|
|
|
|
"You're never anything," she contritely vowed, "but just darling to me.
|
|
I only thought----"
|
|
|
|
"I know, I know. Where shall we go, Muriel? How about France? I ought to
|
|
see that syndicate, you know: I ought to meet those men personally. Then
|
|
there's Paris. I have always longed for Paris myself, and now I shall
|
|
have you for my guide there."
|
|
|
|
"Your guide, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, you speak French like a book, and I have forgotten nearly all of
|
|
the little I ever learned."
|
|
|
|
"I speak school-French," Muriel corrected him.
|
|
|
|
"At any rate," he assured her, "yours is fluent, and I can only stammer
|
|
in the language. Then, too," he went on, "there will be the trip across.
|
|
That will be good for you. Sea air ought to be good for you." She
|
|
winced, and so he hurried to add: "I think I need a bracer, too.--Are
|
|
you a good sailor, Muriel?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know. I've never been on the ocean. Are you?"
|
|
|
|
"I used to be." His eyes darkened. "It's a good many years since I have
|
|
tried the water. But I know I shall be all right. I am in such splendid
|
|
shape. Where is a newspaper? Wait a minute; I'll ring for one. Aren't
|
|
you glad for newspapers now? They carry shipping advertisements, you
|
|
see. We'll look up the sailings. We have found our first five heavens in
|
|
America; we must find the sixth in France, and then we must come back
|
|
here so that our seventh will happen on American soil."
|
|
|
|
Considering the fact that he did not wish to go, he was
|
|
self-sacrificingly energetic. He was so energetic that they left Aiken
|
|
on the next morning and, three days later, were aboard their steamer.
|
|
|
|
The Newberrys were out of town, still enjoying the rest that they had
|
|
earned by settling Muriel for life. George Holt was, however, there and
|
|
had come all the way to Hoboken to see them off.
|
|
|
|
"And as a German steamship captain once said to me when I asked him to
|
|
lunch with me at my club," explained Holt, "it's a terribly long way
|
|
from Hoboken to America."
|
|
|
|
"It was good of you to come," said Muriel, while the crowd of
|
|
second-class passengers and the friends of passengers jostled about the
|
|
first-class promenade deck. "Don't you wish you were coming along?"
|
|
|
|
"Better," said Stainton, already in his steamer cap.
|
|
|
|
"Thanks, no," said Holt, and then, as the siren blew: "If you'd asked my
|
|
advice before you bought your tickets, old man, I'd have told you:
|
|
'Don't go to sea; but if you do go, don't play cards; but if you do play
|
|
cards, cut the cards. They'll cheat you anyhow, but it'll take longer.'"
|
|
|
|
He waved a plump farewell and bared a bald head and waddled down the
|
|
gang-plank. The band began to play, and Stainton and his wife went to
|
|
their stateroom to unpack: they were travelling without a maid because
|
|
Muriel had said something about wanting to secure one in France.
|
|
|
|
By sunrise next morning the _Friedrich Barbarossa_ was racing through
|
|
the grey Atlantic with even speed. It was late winter--it was really
|
|
early spring--and she had already encountered a storm and heavy seas,
|
|
but the lean ocean express dove through the former and rode the latter
|
|
as easily as if she had been a railway train running on tried rails
|
|
along a perfect roadbed. There was no reason in the world why anybody
|
|
should be sick aboard her; few others were sick; yet, Stainton, on that
|
|
second day out, remained below.
|
|
|
|
He could not account for it. He did not like to confess it. He
|
|
especially hated to confess, when he awoke to see his wife putting the
|
|
finishing touches to her toilet in the far corner of their big
|
|
stateroom. But this was manifestly a case where discretion must triumph
|
|
over valour: he no sooner got to his feet than he got off them again.
|
|
|
|
"It's no use," he sighed. "I don't know what it was. I wish they didn't
|
|
have such good dinners on this boat, for it must have been something I
|
|
ate."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was all consolation.
|
|
|
|
"Let me ring for the steward to bring your breakfast here," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Not if you don't want to kill me! Don't mention food again, please--I
|
|
wonder if that lobster were just fresh."
|
|
|
|
She insisted for a long time that she would remain below with him, but
|
|
he overruled her. He said that the open air would be good for her, even
|
|
if she did not seem to need it, and he meant that, although he meant
|
|
also--what he dared not say--that he wanted to struggle alone with his
|
|
malady. Finally, therefore, Muriel descended to the big dining saloon
|
|
alone and surprisedly found herself breakfasting with enjoyment, in
|
|
spite of her husband's absence.
|
|
|
|
She walked the long sweep of the promenade deck and sat for a while in
|
|
her steamer chair, next Jim's, where, for a few beautiful hours on the
|
|
evening before, Jim had sat with her. She read a little from a frothy
|
|
novel that fell short of the realities of love as she knew it, and
|
|
failed to touch on that great reality which still so heavily oppressed
|
|
her; and she watched the long, oily swell of the now green waters,
|
|
beating to crests of foam, here and there, and forming an horizon-line
|
|
for all the world like distant mountain-peaks seen, as Stainton had so
|
|
often seen such peaks, from a peak that is higher than them all. She
|
|
went to look after Jim every quarter of an hour, but, just before the
|
|
band began to play on deck and the deck-stewards came smilingly about
|
|
with their trays of bouillon and sandwiches, she found him sleeping and
|
|
resolved not again to disturb him. She knew that she was very lonely,
|
|
but she lunched on herring salad, clam chowder, farced turkey-wings,
|
|
oysterplant ménagère, succotash, biscuit japonais and nougat parfait.
|
|
She had finished and was sitting idly at her table watching the awkward
|
|
motions with which a line of otherwise commonplace passengers walked by
|
|
on their way upstairs, when her notice was caught by a man whose gait
|
|
had all the certainty of a traveller upon a level road.
|
|
|
|
He was tall and slender, with a figure altogether built for grace and
|
|
agility; but what especially impressed her was his air of abounding
|
|
youth. His face was, in fact, that of a mere boy--a boy not five years
|
|
her senior. It was a perfect oval, that face, flushed with health and
|
|
alight with freshness. Even the fiercely waxed little blond moustache
|
|
above its full red lips failed to give it either age or experience, and
|
|
the clear eyes, intensely blue, looked on all they met with the frank
|
|
curiosity of the young that are in love with life. They met Muriel's own
|
|
interested scrutiny and, when they answered it with an honest smile,
|
|
whipped a sudden blush into her pale cheeks.
|
|
|
|
Muriel hastened from the saloon. She went to look after Jim; but Jim
|
|
still slept.
|
|
|
|
She went on deck again. She knew that the blond young man would be
|
|
there, though how she knew it she could not guess, and yet she argued
|
|
that there was no reason why his presence should banish her from the
|
|
free air.
|
|
|
|
She sat down. She saw him coming past, on a walk about the deck, and
|
|
looked away. The second time he passed she glanced at him, and he smiled
|
|
and raised his steamer cap. A gust of wind fluttered her rug, and he
|
|
stooped to rearrange it.
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," stammered Muriel. "It's not necessary, really. The
|
|
steward----"
|
|
|
|
The young man bowed. It was a bow that, in New York, would have struck
|
|
her as absurdly elaborate; here she liked it.
|
|
|
|
"But it is, I assure you, a pleasure," he protested.
|
|
|
|
He spoke English without an accent, but with a precision that, for all
|
|
its ease, betrayed a Teutonic parentage and education.
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," repeated Muriel, and she blushed again.
|
|
|
|
The young man stood before her, his arms folded, swaying in serene
|
|
certainty with the rolling rhythm of the boat.
|
|
|
|
"May I sit down?" he asked, indicating, with a gesture of his hand, the
|
|
row of empty chairs beside her.
|
|
|
|
Muriel made, by way of reply, what she conceived to be a social
|
|
masterstroke.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," she answered; "but I am here only for a few moments. I'll
|
|
soon have to be running downstairs--I mean 'below'--to look after my
|
|
husband."
|
|
|
|
The stranger's handsome face expressed concern, yet the concern, it
|
|
immediately appeared, was not because of Muriel's marital state, but
|
|
because of her husband's physical plight.
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry," he said, taking Jim's chair. "He is ill then, your
|
|
husband?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel did not seem to like this.
|
|
|
|
"Not very," said she. "He is"--she searched for a phrase characteristic
|
|
of Stainton--"he is just a bit under the weather."
|
|
|
|
"So," sighed the stranger, unduly comprehending. "Ah, perhaps Madame has
|
|
made more voyages than has he?"
|
|
|
|
"No, this is the first trip across for both of us."
|
|
|
|
"Indeed? But you seem to be so excellent a sailor! Is it only youth that
|
|
makes you so?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know." She was clearly, her will to the contrary, a little
|
|
flattered. "I seem to take naturally to the water."
|
|
|
|
"But not so your husband!"
|
|
|
|
"He will be all right to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"Only to-day he is, your husband, not all right? I am so sorry. Perhaps
|
|
he is not so young as you are?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel felt herself again flushing. She at once became more angry at her
|
|
anger than she was at what, upon reflection, she decided to be nothing
|
|
more than frank curiosity on the part of her interlocutor.
|
|
|
|
"Of course he is young!" she heard herself saying.
|
|
|
|
The stranger either did not observe her emotions or did not care to show
|
|
that he observed them. He launched at once upon an unrestrained flow of
|
|
ship talk. It seemed that he was an Austrian, though of Hungarian blood
|
|
on his mother's side. He had gone into the army, was an officer--already
|
|
a captain, she gathered--and he had been serving for some months as an
|
|
attaché of his country's legation in Washington. Now he had been
|
|
transferred to the legation at Paris. Muriel noted that he spoke with
|
|
many gestures. She tried to dislike these as being un-American, and when
|
|
she found it hard to dislike what were, after all, graceful adjuncts to
|
|
his conversation and frequent aids to his adequate expression, she was
|
|
annoyed and tried to indicate her annoyance.
|
|
|
|
"I thought you were a soldier?" she said.
|
|
|
|
With another European bow he produced a silver case engraved with his
|
|
arms, drew from it a card, which he handed to Muriel. The card announced
|
|
him as Captain Franz Esterházy von B. von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"But yes," he said. "Please."
|
|
|
|
Muriel slipped the card into her belt.
|
|
|
|
"You seem to like the diplomatic service better," she said.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen shrugged.
|
|
|
|
"I go where I am sent," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Would you ever go to war?" she persisted.
|
|
|
|
"If I had to. Why not?"
|
|
|
|
"And fight?"
|
|
|
|
"Dear lady, but yes. I do not like, though, to fight, for war is what
|
|
one of your great generals said: it is Hell."
|
|
|
|
"Yet you went into the army?"
|
|
|
|
"Because all my family have for generations done thus. I was born for
|
|
that, I was brought up for that, and when I came to know"--he extended
|
|
his palms--"I had to live," he concluded.
|
|
|
|
This was scarcely Muriel's ideal of a soldier. She changed the
|
|
conversation.
|
|
|
|
"Of course you know Europe perfectly?" she enquired.
|
|
|
|
"Not Russia," answered von Klausen; "but Germany, France, Spain, Italy
|
|
and England--yes. You will travel much?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel did not know; very likely they would. They would do whatever Mr.
|
|
Stainton--Mr. Stainton was her husband--elected: she always did, always
|
|
wanted to do, whatever her husband elected.
|
|
|
|
The young man bowed at mention of Jim's name, as if he were being
|
|
introduced.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," he gravely agreed. "Certainly, since he is your
|
|
husband.--But you must not miss my country, dear lady, as so many
|
|
foolish tourists miss it. It is the Tyrol, my fathers' country: the
|
|
Austrian Tyrol. There is scenery--the most beautiful scenery in all the
|
|
world: superb, majestic. You love scenery? Please."
|
|
|
|
Muriel gave a surprised assent.
|
|
|
|
"Then do not neglect the Tyrol. They call it the Austrian Tyrol, but it
|
|
is really the only real Tyrol. Come to Innsbruck by the way of Zurich.
|
|
That will bring you along the Waldersee, and so, too, you pass Castle
|
|
Lichtenstein and come across the border at just beyond the ruins of
|
|
Gräphang. You will see genuine mountains then, gigantic, snow-capped,
|
|
with forests as dense as--as what you call a hairbrush--black,
|
|
impenetrable. To the very tops of some the train climbs; it trembles
|
|
over abysses. You look from the window of it down--down--down, a
|
|
thousand feet, fifteen hundred, into valleys exquisite, with pink
|
|
farmhouses or grey in them, the roofs weighted with large stones, the
|
|
sides painted with crucifixes, or ornamented statues of the Blessed
|
|
Virgin."
|
|
|
|
He loved his country and he made it vivid to her. He rambled on and on.
|
|
Muriel became a more and more fascinated listener. It was not until two
|
|
hours later that she thought, with a guilty start, of Jim.
|
|
|
|
She excused herself hastily and, leaving the Austrian bowing by the
|
|
rail, ran to the close stateroom and her husband.
|
|
|
|
He was awake, but still sick.
|
|
|
|
"Don't bother about me," muttered Stainton as she entered--"and _please_
|
|
don't bang the door!"
|
|
|
|
She considered him compassionately. His hair fell in disorder over his
|
|
haggard face; his cheeks were faintly green.
|
|
|
|
"Can't I do something for you?" she asked, stepping forward.
|
|
|
|
Stainton failed in a smile, but feebly motioned her away.
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid not," said he--"unless you stop the ship. All I need is a
|
|
little rest. You had better go back on deck. Really."
|
|
|
|
Muriel delayed.
|
|
|
|
"A man spoke to me on deck," she breathlessly confessed. "An Austrian
|
|
diplomat, I think he is. My rug blew, and he rearranged it. Do you
|
|
mind?"
|
|
|
|
"Mind?" asked Stainton. "Certainly not.--How this boat pitches!--Talk to
|
|
him, by all means. These things are common on shipboard, I believe."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was reassured. She returned to the deck, but von Klausen was not
|
|
there, and she did not see him again until evening.
|
|
|
|
Then, though she still dutifully wished that Jim were with her, she
|
|
found her appetite better than ever. She ventured upon a lonely
|
|
cocktail. She ate some Blue Points. Captain von Klausen sent to her
|
|
table, with his card, a pint of champagne, and she ordered potage
|
|
Mogador, duckling balls with turnips, cèpes Provençals, sacher tart, and
|
|
ice cream.
|
|
|
|
When she reached the promenade-deck, von Klausen was already there. He
|
|
had dined in evening clothes, but these were now hidden by the light
|
|
rain-coat that swathed his lithe young figure from neck to heels. Muriel
|
|
observed that its shoulders fitted to the shoulders of the wearer and
|
|
had none of the deceptiveness of the padded shoulders to which she was
|
|
once familiar in American coats.
|
|
|
|
"Have you seen the phosphorus?" he asked, as she met him at the rail.
|
|
His lifted cap showed his wind-tossed blond hair, and his ruddy face
|
|
gleamed with salt spray.
|
|
|
|
Muriel admitted her ignorance of phosphorus.
|
|
|
|
"But," said von Klausen, "that is one of the sights of the voyage, and I
|
|
have not often on the Atlantic seen it finer than it is to-night."
|
|
|
|
He took her forward, by the starboard rail, under the bridge. Behind
|
|
them were the closely curtained windows of the writing-room, forward
|
|
was, only ten feet below them, the now emptied deck reserved for the
|
|
third-class passengers, and beyond that, higher, rose and fell,
|
|
rhythmically, the keen, dark prow. They were quite alone.
|
|
|
|
"Look there!" said von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
He pointed over the rail to where the inky surface of the sea was broken
|
|
by the speed of the _Friedrich Barbarossa's_ passage, bursting into
|
|
boiling, hissing, angry patches of bright whiteness.
|
|
|
|
Timidly Muriel extended her head.
|
|
|
|
"Do you see it?" asked von Klausen. He stood close beside her.
|
|
|
|
"I see the waves," said Muriel, "and the white foam."
|
|
|
|
"But the phosphorus--you do not see that? There--and there!"
|
|
|
|
She shook her head.
|
|
|
|
"Look though," said he. "You do not look in just the correct direction.
|
|
Please. Ahead, to the left. No; away a little from the ship--a little;
|
|
not too much--where we have hit the water and the water recedes from us.
|
|
It is beautiful--beautiful! See!"
|
|
|
|
The great boat rose on a sudden wave. Von Klausen gripped the rail with
|
|
one slim hand; the other, its arm around her waist, he placed about her
|
|
farther arm.
|
|
|
|
"Now!" he said, and, letting go of the rail, pointed.
|
|
|
|
Her eyes followed his finger, and there, shining green and yellow, now
|
|
clear, now opalescent, from burning cores to nebulous edges, she saw
|
|
what seemed to be live stars smouldering and flaming in the hearts of
|
|
the waves.
|
|
|
|
"I see," she said. "It is beautiful--beautiful!"
|
|
|
|
She was, she suddenly realised, but repeating his own phrase. Why should
|
|
she not? The phrase was commonplace enough; besides, the phosphorus
|
|
_was_ beautiful.
|
|
|
|
Then she became conscious of his arm about her, became conscious that
|
|
this arm about her had not been unpleasant; was indignant with him,
|
|
silently, and indignant with herself; made certain, in her own mind,
|
|
that he had put his arm around her waist only that he might protect
|
|
her--and thus soon left him and went to bed without waking Jim.
|
|
|
|
She opened her eyes after an unquiet night, to find that Stainton was
|
|
somewhat improved, though too mindful of his experience of the preceding
|
|
day to trust himself on deck.
|
|
|
|
"I'll wait," he decided, "till to-morrow or this evening. Yes, I think I
|
|
shall manage it this evening. I'm really in good shape, but I must have
|
|
eaten something that didn't agree with me. You go up, Muriel. If you see
|
|
that Austrian fellow, don't forget to give him my compliments and tell
|
|
him I'll probably have the pleasure of meeting him this evening. What
|
|
did you say he was?"
|
|
|
|
"His name," said Muriel, "is von Klausen." She hated herself for her
|
|
unreasonable disinclination to mention the Captain.
|
|
|
|
"H'm--a diplomat, did you say?"
|
|
|
|
"Something of the sort."
|
|
|
|
"As old as most diplomats then, I suppose?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Muriel; "he's--he's rather young."
|
|
|
|
The ship began to descend a lofty wave, and Stainton lay back in his
|
|
berth. His face, with its full day's growth of beard, looked grey.
|
|
|
|
"All right," he said. "Run along, dear--and look in about noon."
|
|
|
|
Muriel obeyed him. Their chairs were well forward, and when she reached
|
|
them she saw von Klausen again seated in that which bore Stainton's
|
|
card.
|
|
|
|
He rose at sight of her. No motion of the boat seemed ever to affect him
|
|
to awkwardness.
|
|
|
|
"Your husband," he asked, bareheaded and erect while she seated herself;
|
|
"he is, I trust, better?"
|
|
|
|
"He hasn't really been sick," she asseverated with what she knew, as she
|
|
said it, to be wholly unnecessary emphasis.
|
|
|
|
The young Austrian performed one of his ceremonious obeisances.
|
|
|
|
"Then I shall be so pleased, so honoured, this evening to be presented
|
|
to him, and I so deeply regret his having been ill. It is not good, this
|
|
ocean, for the elderly."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's cheeks warmed.
|
|
|
|
"Why do you call him that?" she demanded. "I told you yesterday that he
|
|
was--that he was almost young. Why do you call him elderly?"
|
|
|
|
"Forgive." Von Klausen's wide gesture expressed his regret for this
|
|
error. "I had forgotten entirely. It is too bad of me to forget
|
|
entirely."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," laughed Muriel, for she was already condemning her annoyance as
|
|
childishness, "it doesn't matter, because it is so absurd. Only, what
|
|
gave you such an impression?"
|
|
|
|
"Please?"
|
|
|
|
"The impression that he was elderly: what gave you that?"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen manifestly hesitated.
|
|
|
|
"I do not know," he said. "I thought that--I thought that, before we
|
|
sailed, on the deck here I had seen him with you. You and two American
|
|
gentlemen I thought I saw: one young and stout. I thought the gentleman
|
|
young and stout went ashore. Perhaps not. Perhaps it was the other that
|
|
went ashore. Perhaps that was your father."
|
|
|
|
There was a moment's silence. Muriel looked intently at the ragged
|
|
horizon.
|
|
|
|
"The stout man was Mr. Holt," she said at last. "He is a friend of
|
|
mine--of ours."
|
|
|
|
"Ah?" said von Klausen, disinterestedly polite.
|
|
|
|
"My husband," said Muriel, "is _not_ elderly."
|
|
|
|
"I ask his pardon," said von Klausen. He produced his bow again. He
|
|
remained quite at his ease, but his manner implied a courteous wonder at
|
|
any person's shame of his years. "He is then----"
|
|
|
|
"He is not so much over forty," lied Muriel, without the remotest idea
|
|
why she should be thus untruthfully communicative.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen ever so slightly turned his head away. She was immediately
|
|
sure that he did it to conceal a smile.
|
|
|
|
"That is not old," she hotly contended. She made up her mind now that
|
|
she did not like this graceful young foreigner. "And Jim is not so old
|
|
as his age," she continued--"not nearly. He has lived half his life in
|
|
our Great West, and he is as strong as a lion--and as brave."
|
|
|
|
She felt the folly of her remark as she made it, but von Klausen gave no
|
|
sign of sharing that feeling. He settled himself comfortably in Jim's
|
|
chair. She saw that his face was wholly innocent, his eyes only politely
|
|
eager.
|
|
|
|
"Tell me of him, please," he said. "I have heard of your brave
|
|
Westerners, as you call them, in your United States. I met, once in
|
|
Washington, a Senator from Texas, but he did not seem to me
|
|
quite--quite----Pray tell me of your husband, dear lady."
|
|
|
|
She was amazed to find that, offhand, she could not do this. She started
|
|
twice and twice stopped, wondering what, after all, there was to say.
|
|
Then, with a vigorous concentration, she laid hold of all that her aunt
|
|
and uncle had told her of her husband, all that Holt was authority for,
|
|
all that the Sunday supplement of the newspapers had printed. She
|
|
narrated how he had rescued the innocent runaway from the lynching
|
|
party at Grand Joining, how he had saved the lives of his camp mates
|
|
during the spotted fever epidemic at Sunnyside; she told of the shooting
|
|
in Alaska, the filibustering expedition, of Jim's slaying with a knife
|
|
the grizzly bear that was about to strip Holt's flesh from his bones;
|
|
she gave in detail the story of Jim's descent into the shaft of the
|
|
"Better Days" mine, and what she had not learned she supplied to the
|
|
history of the train robbers on the Rio Grande. It was all deliberate
|
|
boasting, and when she ended, she felt a little ashamed.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen, however, was visibly affected.
|
|
|
|
"He is a man to admire, your husband," said the Austrian. "Strength and
|
|
bravery, bravery and strength: these, dear lady, are the two things that
|
|
men envy and women love, all the world over. I wish"--his young smile
|
|
grew crooked--"I wish I had them."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's red lips parted in surprise:
|
|
|
|
"But you are a soldier?"
|
|
|
|
"What of that?" shrugged von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, but you are brave!" She was sure of it.
|
|
|
|
"How do you know?" he asked--"how do I?"
|
|
|
|
"And you--you _look_ strong," she continued. Her black eyes passed
|
|
involuntarily over his slim, well-proportioned figure. "Anybody can see
|
|
that you must be strong."
|
|
|
|
"If I correctly recall my sight of your good husband," said the
|
|
captain, "he could break me in two pieces across his knee."
|
|
|
|
She inwardly acknowledged this possibility, but she did not like to bear
|
|
her new friend belittle himself.
|
|
|
|
"That's only because Jim is _very_ strong," she explained.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps," said von Klausen, "yet that was not the only kind of strength
|
|
I bore in my mind, dear lady. I thought of the strength--of moral
|
|
strength, strength of purpose--whether the purpose is for the good or
|
|
the bad--which is two-thirds of bravery."
|
|
|
|
"And haven't you that?"
|
|
|
|
It might have been because he was altogether so new to her that the
|
|
question came readily. There seemed then nothing strange in the
|
|
discussion of these intimate topics.
|
|
|
|
"Who knows?" said von Klausen, quietly. "I have not yet been tried.
|
|
Perhaps, should I love something or somebody, I should acquire these
|
|
things." His tone lacked offence because it perfectly achieved the
|
|
impersonal note. "They would come to me then, for I should love that
|
|
cause or person better than my own life or my own welfare. I do not
|
|
know. I have not been tried. I know only that, without the cause or the
|
|
person, I have not real strength; I have not real courage. I have fought
|
|
my duel; I have faced death--but I know there are forms of it that I
|
|
fear. I am at least brave enough to admit that I am sometimes afraid.
|
|
For the rest, I am not the type of man that women love: I need to be
|
|
cared for, to be thought about, to be helped in the hundred foolish
|
|
little ways--and women love men who do not take these things, but who
|
|
give them."
|
|
|
|
His low voice, his simplicity, and most of all his childish manner,
|
|
touched her.
|
|
|
|
"I think," she said, "that you are not fair to women."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen pointed out across the rail.
|
|
|
|
"Look there!" said he.
|
|
|
|
A two-masted fishing boat, storm driven from the Banks to sea, swung
|
|
within three or four hundred yards of them. She could see its dripping
|
|
gunwale contending with the waves, the oil-skinned sailors tottering
|
|
upon its deck.
|
|
|
|
"Now look there!" said von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
This time be pointed ahead, and ahead she saw, just beyond the charging
|
|
prow of the imperious _Friedrich_, what seemed to be a thick grey
|
|
curtain. It reached to the heavens and, as the liner approached it,
|
|
opened like three walls: one before the prow, the other two on either
|
|
side. It had all the palpability of heavy cloth.
|
|
|
|
"What is it?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Fog," said von Klausen, and in a moment, with the great siren of the
|
|
boat shaking their very hearts, it had descended upon them.
|
|
|
|
The walls fastened. The curtains enveloped them. The thick, tangible,
|
|
breath-tightening stuff wrapped them in a kind of cocoon. All the clouds
|
|
of the sky seemed to have fallen. Muriel could scarcely distinguish the
|
|
features of the young fellow beside her. And always, reverberating and
|
|
portentous, the siren howled overhead.
|
|
|
|
"The boat!" she called into von Klausen's ear. "Isn't it odd? Only a
|
|
minute ago it was there. Then I saw only its masts. Now I can't see it
|
|
at all."
|
|
|
|
He called his answer.
|
|
|
|
"Once in the Bosphorus--like this--fog. I was on the prow--an express
|
|
boat. We brought up a little, low ship--crowded with pilgrims. Fog--shut
|
|
out--the crash--I could look down and see--faces upturned, calling. I
|
|
could _see_ them calling--could not hear. I am afraid--I am terribly
|
|
afraid--of fogs."
|
|
|
|
She heard his voice break. She caught a glimpse of his face--the face of
|
|
a frightened child. She felt him trembling as their shoulders touched:
|
|
this soldier who had fought his duel and would not, she knew, fear the
|
|
trial of battle. She was not afraid. Instinctively, she reached out
|
|
toward him, to help, to comfort.
|
|
|
|
When the fog lifted as suddenly as it had fallen, the little fisherman
|
|
was riding the waves safely and almost gaily far astern. The _Friedrich_
|
|
sped unconcernedly on.
|
|
|
|
"There was no real danger, I am sure," von Klausen was saying; "these
|
|
Germans I do not like, but they are good sailors--too good to hurt a
|
|
smaller boat."
|
|
|
|
Then Muriel discovered that she had been holding his hand.
|
|
|
|
"I think," she said, "that I had better go and look after Mr.
|
|
Stainton."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
X
|
|
|
|
"UNWILLING WAR"
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stainton recovered. Only someone in a fundamentally bad condition could
|
|
long remain ill aboard this sea-express in the weather that now befell,
|
|
and Jim's condition was good. Consequently, within another twenty-four
|
|
hours he was wholly himself again and wholly able to enjoy the rest of
|
|
the voyage.
|
|
|
|
Muriel, meanwhile, had not told him of her last conversation with von
|
|
Klausen and of its termination. She convinced herself that she had taken
|
|
the young man's hand merely to calm his fears; that she had been
|
|
unconscious of the action until the fog had lifted; that von Klausen
|
|
understood this, and that, moreover, the whole episode had endured for
|
|
but a small fraction of time. She could not, in the circumstances, tell
|
|
Jim the truth. The present was, indeed, one of those instances that
|
|
hamper the plain practice of what are accepted in theory as the simple
|
|
virtues; it was a case where the telling of the truth would be the
|
|
conveyance of a falsehood. If she had said: "I reached out and took this
|
|
man's hand and held it while we were passing through a brief curtain of
|
|
fog," Stainton, she made certain, would have supposed that she was
|
|
herself afraid in the fog or that she wished to touch von Klausen's
|
|
hand for the sake of the action itself. Now, she argued, either of these
|
|
suppositions would be erroneous. The only way in which to give the true
|
|
value to what she had done would be to repeat what the Austrian had told
|
|
her of his personal terrors, and that, obviously, would have been a
|
|
breach of confidence.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, she thought for some time before she hit upon this
|
|
satisfactory train of logic. She did not, indeed, hit upon it until the
|
|
succeeding morning. She had not forgotten what she felt on the night
|
|
when Jim told her that he loved her. She had felt then that she must
|
|
always be honest with this honest man concerning herself, and she meant,
|
|
even yet, to be loyal to that decision; but she had now, as one has
|
|
said, detected for the first time the fundamental paradox of our moral
|
|
system: that, whereas the code of life is simple, life itself is
|
|
complex; that the real world forever presents difficulties involving the
|
|
ideal law in a cobweb of contradictions; that the best of human beings
|
|
can but rarely do an imperative right to one individual without thereby
|
|
doing a patent wrong to another; that truth at its highest is relative
|
|
and approximate and that, in short, the moral laws are, for those who
|
|
accept them, nothing more than a standard of perfection toward which
|
|
their subjects can but approach and to which reality is hourly enforcing
|
|
exceptions.
|
|
|
|
Learn her lesson, Muriel, however, at last did. It came to her in the
|
|
morning after she had wakened from a refreshing, though tardy, sleep,
|
|
rocked by the motion of the ship, which somehow miraculously cleared her
|
|
mental vision. She lay still, repeating it, while Stainton, as she saw
|
|
through her half-opened lids, got up, laboriously shaved, and put on his
|
|
clothes. She knew that he must think her asleep, and she was much too
|
|
preoccupied with the solution of her problem voluntarily to disabuse him
|
|
of this belief.
|
|
|
|
But Stainton was mindful of the displeasure that he had encountered on
|
|
the morning in Aiken when he went downstairs without her. He bent over
|
|
her in her berth and kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Are you going to get up, now?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
She shook her head.
|
|
|
|
"You go. Don't mind me," she drowsily murmured. "I don't mind."
|
|
|
|
"Sure not?"
|
|
|
|
"Not this once. Go on, dear. I'll be along presently."
|
|
|
|
She was left alone. She rose and went to the mirror in the wardrobe
|
|
door. She drew back the curtain from the port-hole and let in the
|
|
morning light. She examined, with anxious care, her face. She looked
|
|
with equal care at her body. By a tacit understanding, she and Jim
|
|
avoided all direct mention of her condition, he because he feared a
|
|
recurrence of her hysterical revolt, she because she had fallen upon one
|
|
of those futile moods in which we feel that to speak of an approaching
|
|
catastrophe is to hasten it; but twice a day, when she could do it
|
|
unobserved, she sought, in silent terror, for the tokens that could not
|
|
possibly so soon be seen.
|
|
|
|
Relieved for the moment, she returned to bed and another nap. That
|
|
accomplished, she dressed slowly, made her way to the saloon, and
|
|
breakfasted alone. She began to eat with the mighty appetite that had
|
|
directed her at her previous meals since leaving New York, but this
|
|
morning there occurred to her a possible explanation of her hunger that
|
|
made her leave the table with half its dishes untouched. She climbed the
|
|
promenade-deck and there saw Stainton and von Klausen walking
|
|
arm-in-arm.
|
|
|
|
The two men were in sharp contrast. The young Austrian, lithe, easy, an
|
|
experienced voyager, trod the deck as he would have trod any other
|
|
floor; his cheeks glowed and his blue eyes sparkled with health and the
|
|
zest of life. Not so his companion. Stainton, although he bulked large
|
|
and sturdy beside von Klausen, still showed some of the effects of his
|
|
sickness: his face was drawn and grey, his glance dull, and he lurched
|
|
with every roll of the ship.
|
|
|
|
Muriel was conscious of a distinctly unpleasant sensation. She felt that
|
|
it was a little ridiculous of Jim thus publicly to exhibit his unfitness
|
|
for sea-travel. She resented this juxtaposition on its own merits. The
|
|
next instant, moreover, she was annoyed by her husband because he had
|
|
not let her have the pleasure of presenting to him this ship-companion
|
|
that, after all, was hers by right of discovery. Nor was that all: she
|
|
felt no small degree of bitterness against von Klausen at the assumption
|
|
that it might have been he who sought this acquaintanceship. Finally,
|
|
she was disquieted by she knew not what: by, in reality, the fact that
|
|
her husband, though she would not admit it, looked pale and old beside a
|
|
man that looked uncommonly ruddy and young. She recalled with a blush
|
|
what she had said to the captain of her husband's age, what the Austrian
|
|
had said to her upon the same subject; she recalled his conjecture that
|
|
he had seen her with her "father." She wondered now if von Klausen would
|
|
have the impudence to offer to Jim in her presence an apology for his
|
|
stupid mistake.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen, as the event showed, had no impudence at all. Both he and
|
|
Stainton greeted her heartily, the latter with a trifle more solicitude
|
|
for her health than she thought seemly; and the Austrian was soon
|
|
installed in a chair beside Stainton's.
|
|
|
|
"But do I not trespass?" inquired von Klausen with his sweeping
|
|
inclination.
|
|
|
|
"On us?" said Jim. "Certainly not. Mighty glad to have you, I'm sure.
|
|
You see, you have been extremely good to my wife while I was laid up."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen looked at the name on the chair-back:
|
|
|
|
"Yet this person to whom the chair belongs?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh," Muriel encouraged him, in moral reaction against her recent
|
|
annoyance, "that person hasn't been on deck once since we sailed."
|
|
|
|
Whereupon they all sat down, and the two men fell to talking while the
|
|
band played in the sunlight and the blue-coated stewards handed about
|
|
their trays. They talked, the American and the Austrian, of the
|
|
differences between the United States and Austria, as noted by them, of
|
|
money markets and percentages, of international law and treaties and
|
|
standing armies and a host of other things that Muriel did not
|
|
understand and did not care to understand. And she did not like it.
|
|
|
|
As the voyage progressed, Stainton and von Klausen became more and more
|
|
friendly, and Muriel more and more restless, she could not tell why. Her
|
|
husband had passed his entire manhood among men and had acquired, though
|
|
he did not know it, the taste for the discussion of what, because of the
|
|
inferior grade of education that we grant to women, we magnificently
|
|
call manly topics. These he had not enjoyed since his wedding-day, and
|
|
now he was hungry for them. He did not neglect Muriel, and von Klausen
|
|
often made efforts to bring her into their conversations, but her mind
|
|
had never been trained to these subjects and was, moreover, now filled
|
|
with a more intimate concern. For an hour she would sit beside Jim and
|
|
listen to him with some admiration, but less comprehension of his
|
|
technical terms, and then for fifteen minutes she would leave the pair
|
|
and walk the deck alone.
|
|
|
|
"To me it seems," von Klausen was one day saying, "that the great danger
|
|
in your country is the disintegration of the unit of society, the
|
|
break-up of the home."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Stainton, "you're referring to our divorce laws?"
|
|
|
|
The captain nodded.
|
|
|
|
"Well, how are they in your country?" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"In Austria the code of 1811 is still in force, and under it there are
|
|
divorces allowed for violence, cruelty, desertion, incompatibility, and
|
|
adultery. Adultery is a crime and is punishable by five years'
|
|
imprisonment."
|
|
|
|
"That sounds as if your code is pretty broad, too," remarked Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, but it is applicable only to persons that are not Catholics, and
|
|
Austria is a Catholic country."
|
|
|
|
"I see. And what do the Catholics do?"
|
|
|
|
"They remain married."
|
|
|
|
"Always?"
|
|
|
|
"The law allows them the remedy of judicial separation."
|
|
|
|
Stainton was smoking a cigar. He puffed at it thoughtfully.
|
|
|
|
"Judicial separation," he finally said, "has always struck me as
|
|
begging the question. It denies liberty and yet winks at license. A good
|
|
marriage ought to be guarded and a bad one broken."
|
|
|
|
"That," replied von Klausen, "is the American view."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. We have all sorts of views--and there is one great trouble.
|
|
You can get a divorce for nothing in Nevada, and you can't get it for
|
|
anything in South Carolina. The South Carolina result is that they have
|
|
had to pass a law there removing illegitimacy as a bar to succession."
|
|
|
|
"Nevertheless," said von Klausen, "except for Japan, there are more
|
|
divorces in the United States than in any other country in the world. I
|
|
was told, while I was in Washington, that the American statistics
|
|
were--they showed seventy-nine divorces to every hundred thousand of
|
|
your population. Your divorces increase more rapidly than your
|
|
population; they increase more rapidly than your marriage-rate."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know about that," said Stainton; "although I believe that I
|
|
have seen some such figures given somewhere, but I am clear on one
|
|
point: the man that treats his wife badly ought not to be allowed the
|
|
chance to have a wife any longer." He looked at Muriel, seated at his
|
|
side; he smiled and patted her hand as it lay on the arm of her chair.
|
|
"Don't you think so, dear?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
Muriel smiled in answer.
|
|
|
|
"Of course I do," said she. "Don't you, Captain von Klausen?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's face remained serious.
|
|
|
|
"I am of the religion of my country," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Eh?" said Stainton. "Oh, I beg your pardon."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. Please." Von Klausen waived religious immunity. "I govern
|
|
myself one way, but I do not object to hear the reasons why other people
|
|
should choose other ways. Your way--your American way of divorce--is one
|
|
of the peculiarities of your great nation, and so I studied it much
|
|
while I lived there. If you permit, sir, to say it: the figures do not
|
|
well bear out the boast that the American husband is the best husband.
|
|
So, Mrs. Stainton?"
|
|
|
|
"But he is, just the same," protested Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"What do the figures show?" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"That two divorces are granted to wives to every one granted husbands."
|
|
|
|
"With all the respect to the best wife in the world," chuckled Stainton,
|
|
as he again patted Muriel's hand, "that is largely due to the fact that
|
|
the average American is so good a husband that, innocent as he may be,
|
|
he pretends to be the guilty party."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen's eyes twinkled shrewdly.
|
|
|
|
"Is it not a little," he enquired, "because the disgrace of being judged
|
|
a guilty husband is easier to bear than the ridicule that is involved in
|
|
being unable to keep the love of one's wife?"
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps it is; perhaps it is," admitted Stainton. "But your figures do
|
|
not prove anything against us as husbands, Captain. The only reason that
|
|
similar figures don't show the men of other countries to be worse
|
|
husbands than we are--if, indeed, they don't show it--is that the laws
|
|
of other countries simply do not permit such easy divorce."
|
|
|
|
"Then what of your population?" asked the Austrian, reverting to his
|
|
previous line of attack. "It declines as divorce rises in your country."
|
|
|
|
Muriel rose abruptly.
|
|
|
|
"I think I shall take a little walk," she said.
|
|
|
|
Stainton half-rose. Von Klausen sprang to his feet.
|
|
|
|
"Permit me----" began the Captain.
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Muriel; "please sit still, both of you."
|
|
|
|
"But, my dear----" said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to interrupt your talk," the girl said. "Finish that and
|
|
then join me, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"In ten minutes, then," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
The men resumed their chairs. They looked after her strong young body
|
|
as, the wind blowing her skirt about her, she walked away.
|
|
|
|
"At all events," said Stainton heartily, "there goes the best American
|
|
wife."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen had grown accustomed to the open domesticity of Americans.
|
|
He did not smile.
|
|
|
|
"She is a charming lady," he agreed. He looked out to sea. "And a
|
|
beautiful." After a moment he added: "Do you object, sir, if I say that
|
|
it is delightful, the manner in which the black hair gathers over her
|
|
forehead and that in which she carries her gracious head?"
|
|
|
|
"Object, Captain? I say you're quite right. I'm a lucky man. Have you
|
|
ever seen more lovely eyes?"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was still looking out to sea.
|
|
|
|
"In all the world I have seen but one pair that was their equal," he
|
|
answered.
|
|
|
|
Stainton pulled at his cigar.
|
|
|
|
"You were saying,"--he returned to their previous subject--"that the
|
|
American birth-rate declined as divorce grew. Do you think the increase
|
|
of the one causes the decrease of the other?"
|
|
|
|
"I admit that the rate falls in times of commercial depression."
|
|
|
|
"Of course: divorce and birth are both expensive. If you would look into
|
|
the matter a little closer, Captain, I think you would find that the
|
|
growth of child labour and the cost of living have about as much to do
|
|
with the fall in the birth-rate as anything else. Some of our divorces
|
|
are granted to foreigners that come to America because they can't get
|
|
easy divorces in their native lands. Most are given for desertion, which
|
|
generally means that they are arranged by mutual consent. Nearly as
|
|
many result from charges of 'cruelty,' which is as often as not
|
|
the man's habit of whistling in the house when his wife has a
|
|
headache--'constructive cruelty' we call it, although 'concocted
|
|
cruelty' would be a better term. Adultery comes only next, I am told,
|
|
and then neglect to provide, and drunkenness. The other causes are all
|
|
lower in the list. So you see that when our divorces are not really the
|
|
result of a quiet agreement between the husband and wife--and every
|
|
judge that signs a decree knows in his heart that nine-tenths are
|
|
that--they are the result of conduct which, for anybody who does not
|
|
consider marriage a sacrament, abundantly justifies the action."
|
|
|
|
The talk shifted to Wall Street and continued for half an hour.
|
|
|
|
"Von Klausen has some antiquated ideas," remarked Stainton to Muriel as
|
|
they were going to bed that night; "but he seems to be a pretty good
|
|
sort of man. I like him."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was standing before the mirror, brushing the blue-black hair that
|
|
fell nearly to her knees.
|
|
|
|
"Do you?" she asked, with no show of interest.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, he has good stuff in him. Of course, he's a mere boy, but he has
|
|
good stuff in him, I'm sure."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see why you call him a boy," said Muriel,
|
|
|
|
"Why? Why, because he _is_ a boy, my dear."
|
|
|
|
"I'm sure you seem just as young as he is."
|
|
|
|
Stainton laughed and kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Little Loyalty!"
|
|
|
|
"I don't care," said Muriel, "I don't like him."
|
|
|
|
"You don't? Why, I thought----"
|
|
|
|
"I did like him at first, but I don't any more."
|
|
|
|
"Why not? You ought to. He admires you tremendously."
|
|
|
|
"Does he? How do you know?"
|
|
|
|
"By what he says. He told me to-day that he had never seen but one pair
|
|
of eyes equal to yours."
|
|
|
|
"Only one? That was nice of him, I'm sure. What else did he say?"
|
|
|
|
"He said--oh, lots of things. He said you had beautiful hair and that it
|
|
somehow grew in curves from your forehead, and I said that he was quite
|
|
right."
|
|
|
|
"Is that all?"
|
|
|
|
"All I can remember. How much do you want, anyhow?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, I don't like him."
|
|
|
|
"But why not?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know. I suppose because you like him too well. I hardly see you
|
|
any more."
|
|
|
|
Stainton assured his wife that no man or woman in the world was worth
|
|
her little finger. He clambered into the upper berth and watched her for
|
|
some time as her bared arm rose and fell, wielding the brush. At last
|
|
the sight of that regular motion, added to the gentle rocking of the
|
|
ship, closed his eyes. He had had a full day and was tired. He was
|
|
soundly asleep when he was wakened by her embrace.
|
|
|
|
She was standing on the ladder and pressing his face to hers.
|
|
|
|
"Love me!" she was whispering. "O, Jim, love me!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton was still half-asleep,
|
|
|
|
"I do love you, Muriel," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but--_Love_ me, Jim!" she whispered.
|
|
|
|
She clutched him suddenly.
|
|
|
|
"Ouch, my hair!" said Stainton. "You're pulling my hair!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" Muriel's tone was all self-reproach. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you,
|
|
dear?"
|
|
|
|
"No," he smiled. "No. There, there!" He patted her head. "It's all
|
|
right. Good-night, dearest."
|
|
|
|
"Good-night?" There was a question in the words as she repeated them,
|
|
but she retreated, albeit slowly, down the ladder. "Good-night, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"Good-night, dear," he responded cheerily, "and--I do love you, you
|
|
know."
|
|
|
|
She answered from below:
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"You do know it, don't you, dear heart?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Jim."
|
|
|
|
He heard her draw the bedclothes about her. When he awoke in the
|
|
morning, she slept, but he would not breakfast until she was ready to
|
|
breakfast with him, and so he sat, hungry, and waited for the hour that
|
|
she devoted to her toilette. Then they went to the saloon, and
|
|
afterwards to the deck, together.
|
|
|
|
Neither on that day nor on the day following was Muriel alone with von
|
|
Klausen. Indeed, she was not alone with him again until they touched, at
|
|
ten o'clock of a bright morning, at Plymouth, where the grateful green
|
|
and yellow hills rose from the blue water, and the town nestled in a
|
|
long white belt behind a chain of grim, grey men-of-war. The tender had
|
|
stood by, and, now that some of the high stacks of mail-bags, which had
|
|
been filling the stern decks since dawn, were transferred, an endless
|
|
procession of slouching porters out of uniform carried, one brick to
|
|
each man for each trip, large bricks of silver down the gangways and
|
|
deposited them in piles of five, well forward on the tender. Jim had
|
|
gone to the writing-room to scribble a note that might catch a fast boat
|
|
from England to his agent at the mine, and Muriel was left beside the
|
|
rail to talk with the Austrian.
|
|
|
|
"It has been a delightful voyage, has it not?" he asked, in that precise
|
|
English to which she had now grown accustomed.
|
|
|
|
"I dare say," answered Muriel. "I don't know. You forget that I have had
|
|
no others with which to compare it."
|
|
|
|
"But you have not been bored?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"It has surely been pleasant, for I have by it had the opportunity to
|
|
meet you and your brave husband."
|
|
|
|
"My husband, I know, would say as much of it because he has met you."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian bowed.
|
|
|
|
"Nor have I failed," he said, "to tell him how much the entire company
|
|
aboard seem to admire his charming wife."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was resting her elbows on the rail; her glance was fixed upon the
|
|
distant town.
|
|
|
|
"He told me," she responded, "that you thought my eyes about the second
|
|
best within your experience. I hope your experience has been wide."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen flushed.
|
|
|
|
"My experience," he said, gravely, "has, I regret to tell you, been that
|
|
of most young men."
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Muriel. Her tone showed dislike of all that this implied, but
|
|
she recalled that Jim had had no such experiences as those to which von
|
|
Klausen plainly referred, and she suddenly felt, somehow, that this
|
|
difference between the men did not altogether advance Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Nevertheless, dear lady," the Austrian was going on, "the eyes that I
|
|
thought as beautiful as yours--I did not say more beautiful--were eyes
|
|
that have long since been shut."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was now more piqued than before. Had the man been comparing her
|
|
to a dead fiancée to whom he, living, remained faithful?
|
|
|
|
"Were they Austrian eyes?" she asked, her own eyes full of obtrusive
|
|
indifference.
|
|
|
|
"No; they were Italian. Had you come to Europe three years ago, you
|
|
would have seen them when you went to the Louvre. They were the eyes
|
|
that have been given to the Mona Lisa."
|
|
|
|
Muriel and he were standing apart from the crowd of passengers that
|
|
watched the unloading of the silver. The girl turned to her companion.
|
|
Her glance was interested enough now, and she saw at once that his was
|
|
serious.
|
|
|
|
"There is something that I have been wanting to tell you," she began,
|
|
before she was well aware that she spoke--"something that I don't know
|
|
exactly how to say, or whether I ought to say it at all."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was openly concerned.
|
|
|
|
"If you are in doubt," he replied, "perhaps it would be better if you
|
|
first thought more about it."
|
|
|
|
But his opposition, though totally the reverse to what she had expected,
|
|
clinched her resolve.
|
|
|
|
"No," she said. "I ought to tell you about it. Now that I have started I
|
|
know I ought. It's--it's about that time in the fog."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen's colour mounted. Then, politely, he pretended to forget the
|
|
incident.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, don't you remember? You must remember."
|
|
|
|
"I remember. It was a very sudden fog."
|
|
|
|
"Well," she said, "it was about what happened then. I must speak to
|
|
you--I must explain about that." She was holding tightly to the rail.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen saw her wrists tremble. He made little of the subject.
|
|
|
|
"When you were frightened, and I took your hand to reassure you? Dear
|
|
lady, I trust that you have not supposed that I acted on my
|
|
presumption----"
|
|
|
|
"You're kind to put it that way," she interrupted. "You're generous. But
|
|
I want to be honest. I have to be honest, because I want you to
|
|
understand--because you must understand--just why I behaved as I did,
|
|
and you wouldn't understand--you couldn't--if I weren't honest with you.
|
|
Captain von Klausen, you didn't take my hand, and you know it. I took
|
|
yours."
|
|
|
|
He raised the disputed hand; he raised it in protest.
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Stainton, I assure you that it was I who----"
|
|
|
|
"No, it wasn't. And I wasn't frightened by the fog, either. You must
|
|
remember that, from the way I spoke; I showed I didn't even realise what
|
|
a fog means at sea. So how could I be afraid of it? You did know and you
|
|
had just said that you were afraid of fogs. I took your hand. I did it
|
|
before I thought----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, dear Mrs. Stainton"--he was painfully anxious to end all
|
|
this--"before you thought. It was nothing but a kindly----"
|
|
|
|
"Before I thought," she pursued, determinedly, her dark eyes steady on
|
|
his. "You had told me of that awful experience of yours in the Bosphorus
|
|
and of the effect it had on you. No wonder it did have such an effect.
|
|
I am not blaming you for that. Only, I saw that you needed help and
|
|
comfort. I was sorry for you. That was all: I was just sorry. I did it
|
|
without thinking. I didn't know I had done it at all till it was all
|
|
over. You see," she concluded, "I just couldn't, now, bear to have you
|
|
misunderstand."
|
|
|
|
Carefully analysed, it might seem a contradictory explanation, but it
|
|
was no sooner free of her lips than she felt that her soul was free of
|
|
this thing which she had sought to explain.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was quite as much relieved as Muriel. He accepted it as she
|
|
wished him to accept it.
|
|
|
|
"Never for a moment did I misunderstand," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Then," added Muriel, "you will understand why I haven't mentioned it to
|
|
my husband----"
|
|
|
|
"Your husband?" The Austrian was all amazement. "Why should you?"
|
|
|
|
"Because," said Muriel, compressing her full lips and assuming her full
|
|
height, "I always tell Jim everything."
|
|
|
|
If the shadow of a smile passed beneath his military moustache, she
|
|
could not be sure of it.
|
|
|
|
"Everything?" said he. "But you have said that this was nothing."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly, and--don't you see?--that is one of the reasons why I haven't
|
|
told it. You will--you will please not refer to it to him, Captain von
|
|
Klausen, because----"
|
|
|
|
"Refer to it?" Von Klausen squared his shoulders. "To him? Never!"
|
|
|
|
His assertion was vehement.
|
|
|
|
"There is no reason why you shouldn't," Muriel replied; "only, as I say,
|
|
I haven't told him, and the only real reason that I didn't tell him was
|
|
because to do so I should have to tell him, too, that you had been
|
|
afraid; and that isn't my secret: it's yours."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's boyish face was now very grave.
|
|
|
|
"I thank you," he said. "For your thought of me I thank you, and the
|
|
more I thank you because, by keeping my secret, you made it _ours_."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, but I don't mean----" said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
She did not finish, for she saw Stainton come from the writing-room and
|
|
stride rapidly toward them. He had written his letter and despatched it.
|
|
|
|
Although the three stood shoulder to shoulder in the customs-shed at
|
|
Cherbourg later in the day and occupied the same first-class compartment
|
|
in the fast express through the rolling Norman country to Paris, Muriel
|
|
and von Klausen were not then given an opportunity to conclude their
|
|
conversation. The Austrian bade the Staintons good-bye in the swirl of
|
|
porters and chauffeurs at the Gare St. Lazare, and Muriel took it for
|
|
granted that the interruption must be final.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XI
|
|
|
|
DR. BOUSSINGAULT
|
|
|
|
|
|
Muriel awoke in their apartments at the Chatham the next morning to find
|
|
herself decidedly out of sorts. Well as she had borne the voyage, she no
|
|
sooner put her feet from her one of the two little canopied beds to the
|
|
floor than she felt again the motion of the ship, and there was a return
|
|
of the nausea that she attributed to the trouble which silently weighed
|
|
upon her. She crawled back to the bed.
|
|
|
|
"I can't get up," she said.
|
|
|
|
Stainton was worried. He fluttered about her. He wanted to ring for
|
|
servants to bring half-a-dozen things that Muriel would not accept. He
|
|
wanted the smallest details of her symptoms. He wanted to send for a
|
|
doctor.
|
|
|
|
"Go away," Muriel pleaded. "Please go away."
|
|
|
|
"But, dearie----"
|
|
|
|
"I wish I were back in New York."
|
|
|
|
Stainton, though he now feared the sea, was ready to undertake the
|
|
return trip on the morrow.
|
|
|
|
"No, no," moaned Muriel. "Of course, now we are here, we must see
|
|
things. But I won't have a doctor, Jim. Can't you see how it is with
|
|
me? I shall be all right in an hour."
|
|
|
|
"All right, dearie; all right. I shall sit here by you."
|
|
|
|
"Please don't. I'm horrid when I'm sick."
|
|
|
|
"Not to me," said Jim.
|
|
|
|
"But I am. I look so horrid."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see it."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you're good, Jim. But I want to be alone, just as you did when you
|
|
were seasick. Go into the sitting-room. Please. I'll call you if I need
|
|
you."
|
|
|
|
He went into their sitting-room, a room that shone with green and gilt,
|
|
and looked out, across a narrow street, at the grey houses of uniform
|
|
height and listened to the shrill street-sounds of Paris. He was lonely.
|
|
|
|
Somebody knocked at the door opening on the hall.
|
|
|
|
"Come in," he called. "I mean: _entrez_!"
|
|
|
|
A servant advanced, bearing a tray.
|
|
|
|
Jim saw that there was a card on the tray. He took it up and read the
|
|
name of Paul Achille Boussingault. He did not remember ever having heard
|
|
the name.
|
|
|
|
"_Pour moi?_" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir," said the servant, in a wholly unaccented English.
|
|
|
|
"Hum," said Jim. "Now I wonder what _he_ wants. Very well, show him up."
|
|
|
|
He hurried to the bedroom.
|
|
|
|
"Dear," he enquired, "tell me quick: how do you pronounce B-o-u-double
|
|
s-i-n-g-a-u-l-t?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel did not lift the covers that concealed her face.
|
|
|
|
"Go away," she said.
|
|
|
|
"I am going, only, dearie----"
|
|
|
|
"Go away--_please_!"
|
|
|
|
Jim re-entered the sitting-room. Was it Bou-sing-go? He had his doubts
|
|
about that French _in_. If he remembered rightly, it was a kind of _an_,
|
|
and the _n_ ended somewhere in the nose. And who was M. Boussingault,
|
|
anyhow?
|
|
|
|
"M. le docteur Boo-sàn-go," announced the servant.
|
|
|
|
"Wait. How was that?" asked Jim, and then found himself face to face
|
|
with his visitor.
|
|
|
|
His visitor was a stocky man, of not more than five feet five or six
|
|
inches in height, inclined to pugginess. He had a leathery complexion,
|
|
and the point of his thin Van Dyck beard was in a straight line from the
|
|
sharper point in which his close-clipped bristling hair ended above his
|
|
nose. It was black hair, and it retreated precipitately on both sides.
|
|
He looked at Jim through eyeglasses bearing a gold chain and bound
|
|
together by a straight bar, which gave the effect of a continuous scowl
|
|
to his heavy brows. He bowed deeply.
|
|
|
|
"M. James Stainton?" he enquired.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Jim. "Good-morning."
|
|
|
|
"Good-morning, monsieur. I have the honour to present the compliments of
|
|
my brother, M. Henri Duperré Boussingault, and to ask that you will be
|
|
so very good as me to command in the case I can be of any the slightest
|
|
service to you and madame during your visit to Paris."
|
|
|
|
Stainton was at a loss.
|
|
|
|
"Your brother?" said he.
|
|
|
|
"M. Henri Boussingault," repeated the visitor. "He has to me written
|
|
from Lyon to attend well to the appearance of your name among the
|
|
distinguished arrivals in the _Daily Mail_."
|
|
|
|
The mention of Lyons aided Stainton's memory. He recalled now that the
|
|
name of Henri Boussingault had appeared among those of the Lyonnaise
|
|
syndicate that was interested in the purchase of the mine.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes," he said, and his broad teeth showed in a smile. "To be sure.
|
|
This is very kind of you. Won't you sit down?"
|
|
|
|
Paul Achille Boussingault arranged his coat-tails and sat down with a
|
|
grunt that apparently always accompanied this action on his part. His
|
|
knees were far apart, and his feet scarcely touched the parquet floor.
|
|
He was dressed completely in black, with the ribbon of an order fastened
|
|
in the lapel of his frock-coat. His collar was low and round and
|
|
upright, its junction with the shirt concealed by a small, prim black
|
|
tie.
|
|
|
|
Stainton took a chair opposite him.
|
|
|
|
"Won't you have a cigar?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"But thanks," said the visitor. "A cigarette only, if you do not
|
|
object?" He produced a yellow packet of _Marylands_, and offered it to
|
|
Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Stainton, lighting the cigarette. He did not like it,
|
|
because, being an American, he did not care for American tobacco; but he
|
|
tried to appear to like it. He wondered what he should talk about. "I
|
|
shall be glad to make use of your kind offer."
|
|
|
|
"You will honour me," said the Frenchman.
|
|
|
|
"Um. And are you, too, interested in mining investments?"
|
|
|
|
The visitor dismissed mines and mining to his brother with a wave of his
|
|
short hand. Stainton noticed that his fingers, though not long, were
|
|
well shaped and tapering, in contradistinction to the spatulate thumbs,
|
|
and that he wore a diamond set in a ring of thick gold.
|
|
|
|
"Those there are the avocation of my brother. I take no part in these
|
|
affairs of the bourse. You will me forgive if I say, monsieur, that I
|
|
have no traffic with such abominations of our society modern. I am a man
|
|
of science."
|
|
|
|
"A doctor?" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Of medicine."
|
|
|
|
For a moment Stainton revolved the idea of taking the visitor to see
|
|
Muriel, but he divined Muriel's attitude toward such an action and
|
|
banished the thought. Her indisposition was, of course, but natural and
|
|
passing.
|
|
|
|
"What," asked Jim, "ought we to see first in Paris? We are strangers
|
|
here, you know."
|
|
|
|
The doctor flung out his short arms. He indulged in an apostrophe to
|
|
Paris that reminded Stainton of some of the orations he had read as
|
|
having been delivered in the councils of the First Republic.
|
|
Boussingault's English was frequently cast in a French mould and
|
|
sometimes so fused that it was mere alloyage; but he never paused for a
|
|
word, and he spoke with a fervour that was almost vehemence. There were
|
|
moments when Jim wondered if the Frenchman suspected him of some slur on
|
|
Paris and conceived it a duty to defend the city. What Jim must see was,
|
|
in brief, everything.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, so soon as the apostrophe ended, Boussingault appeared to
|
|
forget all about it. His sharp eyes travelled over the hotel
|
|
sitting-room, and his mind occupied itself therewith as devotedly as it
|
|
had just been giving itself to the Gallic metropolis.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you Americans," he sighed; "how you love the luxury!"
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps we do," said Jim, recalling certain negotiations that he had
|
|
conducted at the hotel's _bureau_; "but if the price of these rooms is a
|
|
criterion, you French make us pay well for it."
|
|
|
|
Dr. Boussingault's glance journeyed to the partly open doors of the
|
|
bathroom, displaying a tiled whiteness.
|
|
|
|
"And without doubt a bath?" he enquired.
|
|
|
|
"A bath," nodded Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"And me"--Boussingault shook his bullet-like head--"I well recall when
|
|
the water-carts stopped at the corners of the streets too narrow for
|
|
their progress, and one called from the high window that one wished to
|
|
buy so much and so much, because one bathed oneself or the servant
|
|
washed the linen to-day."
|
|
|
|
He talked for a while, again rhapsodically, of the old city, the city of
|
|
his youth, and, when he chanced to touch upon its restaurants, Stainton
|
|
asked him if, that evening or the next, he would dine with Muriel and
|
|
himself.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, no," said Boussingault. "It is that madame and you, monsieur, shall
|
|
dine with me. To-night? To-morrow night?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton accepted for the following evening.
|
|
|
|
"And at what spot would you prefer, monsieur?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," said Jim. "I have eaten _sole à la Marguery_. We might
|
|
catch that in its native waters: we might dine at Marguery's."
|
|
|
|
"Well," the Frenchman shrugged, "Marguery is not bad. At least the
|
|
kitchen is tolerable. But you should eat your sole as she swims."
|
|
|
|
They were not, however, destined to keep the appointment on the day set,
|
|
for, during that morning came a _petit bleu_ from Boussingault,
|
|
postponing the dinner for a week, and followed by a letter overflowing
|
|
with fine spencerian regrets to the effect that its writer had been
|
|
imperatively summoned to Grenoble for consultation in an illness
|
|
"occurring in a family distinguished."
|
|
|
|
"I don't care if we never see him," said Muriel. "I could hear him
|
|
through the door: he talks too loud."
|
|
|
|
They consoled themselves and wearied themselves with sightseeing, and
|
|
often this tried Muriel's nerves. Secretly she still watched for the
|
|
appearance of signs to indicate her condition and secretly she tightened
|
|
her stays, long before any signs could appear. She was often sick in the
|
|
mornings, though with decreasing recurrence, and, when she began to feel
|
|
relief by the diminution, she became the more despondent upon
|
|
realisation of its cause. Moreover, even the comfort of _petit déjeuner_
|
|
in bed did not compensate for those crumbs for which no one could be
|
|
held responsible.
|
|
|
|
True to his policy to "let nature take her course," Stainton maintained
|
|
a firm reticence upon the subject uppermost in the minds of both, but
|
|
this reticence was applied only to his speech; and his solicitude, his
|
|
patient but patent care, and his evident anxiety often annoyed her,
|
|
since they kept her destiny before her and seemed to her apprehensive
|
|
imagination--what they were far from being--no more than the expressions
|
|
of a fear that she might make some physical revelation of her state in a
|
|
public and embarrassing manner.
|
|
|
|
"You don't think of me!" she one day wept, when he had put her into a
|
|
_taxi-mètre_ to drive a few hundred yards.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," said Stainton, "I think of nothing else."
|
|
|
|
"No, you don't think of me," she insisted. "You think only of--of _it_.
|
|
You're worried about me as a mother and not as a wife. You are!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton protested, grieved to the heart; but she would not hear him.
|
|
|
|
"It's as if you were a stock-farmer," she said, the tears in her velvety
|
|
eyes, "and I were only your favorite thoroughbred in foal."
|
|
|
|
This simile he found revolting. It required all his masculine philosophy
|
|
satisfactorily to account for her use of it, and, even when that had
|
|
been applied, he reprimanded her, with kindness, but with decisiveness
|
|
also. It was some time before she begged his pardon and condemned
|
|
herself; some time before he soothed her and told her, what she hated to
|
|
hear, that her words had risen not from herself but from her condition.
|
|
|
|
They went to Marguery's, when the doctor returned to Paris, rather worn
|
|
out by their week of sightseeing; but they found the crowded restaurant
|
|
pleasantly diverting. The chatter of the diners, the scurrying of the
|
|
waiters, and the gratification of the leather-covered seat from which,
|
|
across a shining table, they faced Boussingault, quieted them and made
|
|
them forget for a space the subject that one of them was weary of
|
|
remembering.
|
|
|
|
Then, by some mischance, Stainton hit upon a fatal topic.
|
|
|
|
"Doctor," he said, "I am sure you can give me some authoritative
|
|
information on a matter that I have read a little of. I mean the
|
|
question of the decrease in the French birth-rate and the efforts to
|
|
stop it and build up not only a larger race but a race of the best
|
|
stock."
|
|
|
|
He saw instantly that he had struck the little man's hobby. Dr.
|
|
Boussingault sat with one thick knee covered by his serviette and thrust
|
|
into the aisle for the _garçons_ to stumble over. His dark eyes, keen
|
|
and expressive, were shaped like wide almonds and, unobscured by any
|
|
vestige of lashes, perpetually snapped and twinkled through his glasses
|
|
in a lively disregard of the phlegmatic indications given by the dark
|
|
bags beneath them.
|
|
|
|
"The most healthy sign in France to-day," he said. "Absolutely."
|
|
|
|
"You mean the effort to increase and better the stock?"
|
|
|
|
"No. One thousand no's. The success in decreasing it."
|
|
|
|
"My dear sir----"
|
|
|
|
The doctor waved his hands. He drank no alcohol, he said; only some wine
|
|
of the country, red; but of this, heavily diluted by water, he was
|
|
drinking copiously.
|
|
|
|
"Attend, monsieur. I know well, my God, these good people who go to
|
|
England and have international congresses and, between the dinners given
|
|
by Her Grace of Dulpuddle and the lawn parties, when one permits them to
|
|
enter the park of the Castle Cad, indulge in a debauch of scientific
|
|
verbosity. But yes; I know them! I have been to their meetings and heard
|
|
one of these savants talk while ten snored. 'Nature, nature!' they cry,
|
|
and all the time, all the time they forget Nurture. What do I to them
|
|
say? I, Paul Achille Boussingault?" The doctor struck his heart, and
|
|
breathed: "_I_ say one word: 'Environment!'--and they silence
|
|
themselves."
|
|
|
|
Before this volley Stainton felt dismayed.
|
|
|
|
"I had always thought," he said, "that this aim was excellent. Their
|
|
purpose is the improvement of the race."
|
|
|
|
"Purpose? But yes. Good. But their Nature, she makes only effects. How
|
|
do they, my God, go to attain it, their purpose? By to make more good
|
|
the chance now miserable of the oppressed to bring to life some strong
|
|
sons and some robust daughters? _Jamais!_ Rather by to continue the
|
|
present process of crowding to the grave the class that their class has
|
|
made unfit, by to encourage breeding--million thunders, yes, among those
|
|
very oppressors, truly, whose abuse of power already unfits _them_!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton was a trifle nervous at the fear that the talk would soon turn
|
|
to subjects of which a young wife is supposed to be ignorant. He glanced
|
|
at Muriel, but he saw that she was engaged solely with the cut of
|
|
_canard sauvage_ that lay on her plate, and he concluded that since she
|
|
must some day learn of these things of which the doctor and he were
|
|
talking, it was as well for her to learn of them from her husband and a
|
|
physician. Nevertheless, he wavered.
|
|
|
|
"I thought, doctor," he said, "that in France they offered money to the
|
|
poor to increase the population?"
|
|
|
|
The Frenchman's broad, pale lips smiled. He shrugged.
|
|
|
|
"Money? My friend, as a man of affairs, you must know that one cannot
|
|
say 'Money' but that one is asked: ''Ow much?' Attend well: In your
|
|
country and in England these savants--name of God!--want what they call
|
|
the best; in my country they want what they call the many. Do they this
|
|
reconcile? I should be well amused to know the way." Dr. Boussingault
|
|
leaned across the table and tapped Jim's wrist with an impressive
|
|
forefinger. "In all the world, all, the only people that desire the poor
|
|
to produce families, they are the _propriétaires_ and those lackeys of
|
|
the _propriétaires_, the generals of the armies. The _propriétaire_
|
|
wants much workers, and he wants workers so bound by family
|
|
'responsibilities'"--the Frenchman hissed the s's of this word--"that
|
|
they dare not revolt; he wants competition for the workers, for she
|
|
lowers the wage. For the generals, all they want is more men to feed to
|
|
the monster, War."
|
|
|
|
"You must be a Socialist," smiled Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"Socialist?" thundered the physician. "Never in life! Me, I am I:
|
|
Boussingault, _médecin_!"
|
|
|
|
"At any rate," said Stainton, "the world can't very well get along
|
|
without children, you know."
|
|
|
|
He was amazed at the doctor's manner: Boussingault would wave his arms
|
|
and shout his words and then, when he had leaped to silence, relapse
|
|
into a calm that seemed never to have been dispelled.
|
|
|
|
Jim regarded the neighboring tables, but no one of the company there
|
|
paid any attention to the commanding tones of the physician, probably
|
|
because nearly all the guests of the restaurant were engaged in talk
|
|
that was quite as violent as that of Paul Achille. Muriel might have
|
|
been a thousand miles away.
|
|
|
|
Now the word "children" again loosed the storm.
|
|
|
|
"Children?" shouted the doctor. "Let us be reasonable! Let us regard
|
|
with equanimity the children! They ask the poor for the children, these
|
|
_propriétaires_; but what they would say is servants and _filles de
|
|
joie_ to work for them. They will not pay the man sufficient to make a
|
|
marriage; they pretend not to like that the women bear children without
|
|
marriage--and they run about and sob for more babies! _Bien._ In effect,
|
|
then, what is it that the labourer to them replies? He replies: 'Give
|
|
me the 'abitable houses, and then I will give you in'abitants--not
|
|
before.'"
|
|
|
|
Dr. Boussingault produced a huge handkerchief, shook it, mopped his
|
|
sparkling brow, and resumed absolute immobility.
|
|
|
|
Stainton was now sincerely interested. He had thought somewhat upon
|
|
these matters and, although he saw as yet no personal relevance in them,
|
|
he had an intellectual appetite for their discussion.
|
|
|
|
"As I see it," he said, "none of these people that are trying to improve
|
|
the breed denies that the poor are in a bad way, but just because the
|
|
poor are in a bad way, they fail to be the stuff by which the race can
|
|
be improved. I am now speaking, you understand, of what you, doctor,
|
|
consider the American and English savants. What they are after is to
|
|
increase the best, and their best raw material is found in the sons of
|
|
the well-to-do, because the well-to-do are the intelligent, are the
|
|
people that do the work of the world."
|
|
|
|
Boussingault chortled derisively.
|
|
|
|
"What propelled your ship to France?" he demanded. "An engine, is it
|
|
not? But the engine, it is necessary that it be fed, and think you that
|
|
the man who put the coal in that engine was well-to-do? Who grinds your
|
|
corn, who makes your shoes, who builds your house? Name of God!"
|
|
|
|
"I am thinking about the directing intelligence, doctor. The improper
|
|
character tossed into the human pond sinks to its bottom, and the proper
|
|
character, even if placed at its bottom, rises to the top."
|
|
|
|
"So you propose to improve the race, monsieur, by breeding from the
|
|
thieving millionaire risen to the top of the pond and by letting the
|
|
Christs sink, as they have always sanken? Do not talk of breeding for
|
|
ability until you give a chance for to develop the ability that now goes
|
|
everywhere to waste. Men and women they will mate in spite of you."
|
|
|
|
"The process would strengthen marriage," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"But yes," replied the Frenchman. "Marriage is of relations the most
|
|
intimate: they would make it the most public. It was wrong enough, my
|
|
God, when, after centuries of no attention to marriage, the church
|
|
quickly assumed of it the control and made of it a public ceremony. It
|
|
will be more bad when the police assume of it the control and make of it
|
|
a public scandal."
|
|
|
|
Muriel raised her great, dark eyes to the doctor and then lowered them
|
|
to her plate.
|
|
|
|
Stainton shifted uneasily.
|
|
|
|
"I do not believe in that sort of thing and never would," he said, "but
|
|
I am sure that marriage is the best friend of the race's future."
|
|
|
|
"Not so long as it is directed even as it now is. Not so long as the
|
|
diseased 'usband may legally force a child on his wife, or the
|
|
wife-merely-lazy may refuse to bear a child to a healthy 'usband. A wife
|
|
can divorce a 'usband because he is sterile through not his own fault,
|
|
but if he is sterile because he wants sterility, she must continue to be
|
|
his wife. You speak well as if to make people to breed it is necessary
|
|
but to go to whip them, or trick them, into a wedding. Marriage does not
|
|
imply parenthood. That relationship is arbitrary."
|
|
|
|
This was something more than Jim had counted on. A slow flush mounted to
|
|
his iron-grey hair. He saw that Muriel attended entirely to her food,
|
|
and he did not know whether to admire this peace as evidence of her
|
|
self-control or to wonder how she could hear such things and give no
|
|
sign of hearing them.
|
|
|
|
The doctor, however, ran from bad to worse.
|
|
|
|
"Most of the children in this world are here by accident. They are not
|
|
wanted, no, because they are too much trouble or too much cost, or they
|
|
are girls, as the case may be. They are not a tie binding their parents'
|
|
love by their presence; generally they are a sword to divide it by
|
|
necessitating economies. What married man, even rich, does not endeavour
|
|
to limit the number of his little ones, _hein_?" To Jim's horror the
|
|
doctor broadly winked. "What unmarried man does not endeavour to
|
|
suppress his little ones altogether? Both will in private joke the one
|
|
to the other about it, and both fear it should publicly be known.
|
|
Marriage? Poof! It is the name of a _prix fixe_ charged for
|
|
respectability."
|
|
|
|
Stainton was not the man to try to evade an issue by an attempt to
|
|
divert the conversation, and he saw that the doctor was not the man to
|
|
be diverted. As the waiter brought the coffee ("No cognac, thank you,"
|
|
said Boussingault; "no alcohol") Jim challenged direct.
|
|
|
|
"You shock me," declared the American, "by what you tell me about
|
|
children not being wanted. I don't agree with you there. Of course, that
|
|
is sometimes the case in irregular relations, but I think too well of
|
|
humanity to believe that, by married parents of any means at all,
|
|
children are not wanted after they get here."
|
|
|
|
"None?"
|
|
|
|
Both men turned: it was Muriel that had spoken. Her face grew scarlet
|
|
under their look.
|
|
|
|
The doctor's glance was keen.
|
|
|
|
"I am of madame's mind," said he, quietly.
|
|
|
|
Stainton strove to pass the embarrassing interruption.
|
|
|
|
"Well, doctor," he said, and from the corner of his eye saw with
|
|
satisfaction that Muriel busied herself with an intricate ice, "I stick
|
|
to my belief in humanity."
|
|
|
|
Boussingault flourished his coffee cup and spilled a liberal portion of
|
|
its contents.
|
|
|
|
"In what world do you live?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"In an eminently sane one," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"_Bien_; I knew it was not the real world. In your world you know
|
|
nothing, then, of all the ways, direct and indirect, to make women bear
|
|
babies they do not want; in it you know nothing of the child unloved and
|
|
scarcely endured; in it you know nothing of the boy or girl for these
|
|
reasons, or because the mother hated the price of marriage, afflicted
|
|
with morbid nerves and will-atrophy. Those who would improve the race
|
|
must know of these things, but they consider them not. They consider not
|
|
that there is the motherly-physical inclination combined with physical
|
|
ability; that degrees of inclination and ability vary. They make one law
|
|
for all that, by physique only, appear fit. Good, then: the person the
|
|
best fitted for their plan is she who will not let them send her to the
|
|
altar as if she had no proper will. Again, suppose you forbid the
|
|
'unfit' to marry? You straightway increase not only the number of
|
|
illegitimate children, but of illegitimate unfit children, for the
|
|
illegitimate child, in our mad world, has not the whole of a chance. M.
|
|
Stainton, your savants would raise the race by oppressing the
|
|
individuals."
|
|
|
|
Stainton's anxiety was now to end the meal. He felt that matters had
|
|
gone far enough, and he feared that the topic of discussion had proved a
|
|
morbid one for a prospective mother. He murmured something about the
|
|
survival of the fittest.
|
|
|
|
"The survival of the fittest," roared Boussingault. "My good friend,
|
|
who is it that is fitted to survive? He who can? The brute? You say"--he
|
|
had quite placed poor Stainton in the opposition by this time--"you say
|
|
that you would rather have for parent a robust burglar than a tubercular
|
|
bishop. Me, Boussingault, I choose the bishop, for it is better to have
|
|
ill health with money to hire Boussingaults than good health without
|
|
money to buy food. 'Defectives'! Holy blue! The prize-fighter in New
|
|
York who murders the little girl is of splendid physique and gives
|
|
extraordinary care to his body. He is scrupulously clean. He does not
|
|
smoke, does not even drink red wine. Of the sixteen children of his
|
|
parents only seven prove, by survival, fitness to survive. He is of
|
|
them--and he murders the little girl."
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Stainton, smiling, "perhaps sixteen is _too_ many."
|
|
|
|
"Tell me why," said the Frenchman. "Our great Massenet is of a
|
|
family of children"--he swung his arm and dropped his emptied
|
|
cup--"countless--absolutely countless. Environment, that is what you
|
|
forget; environment, and inclination and _suitable_ physique. What to
|
|
do? You should change the economic conditions that breed your
|
|
'defectives' as a refuse-heap breeds flies, but instead you propose to
|
|
spend time and money to try to 'segregate' defectives as fast as you
|
|
manufacture them. 'Segregate' and 'sterilize'? I have yet to hear of one
|
|
of you sterilising a degenerate child of your own. You produce them
|
|
not? Often. And you produce the good? Francis Galton left no child at
|
|
all. I, Boussingault, say to you: breed a Florence Nightingale and an
|
|
Isaac Newton and bring them up in a city slum and set them to work in a
|
|
city factory, and their very good breeding will be society's loss.
|
|
Truly. What you will have will not be a philanthropist and a scientist,
|
|
but only a more than commonly seductive _fille_ and a more than commonly
|
|
clever thief. You cannot breed a free race until you have given to the
|
|
possible mothers of it freedom of choice; and you cannot breed a healthy
|
|
race until you have given to papa and mamma and baby proper food and
|
|
surroundings--until you have given the man working the full pay for his
|
|
toil."
|
|
|
|
He leaned back in his chair, held his handkerchief before his mouth
|
|
without concealing it, and began to pick his teeth.
|
|
|
|
Muriel rose; she was pale. The two men started also to rise.
|
|
|
|
"Please don't," said Muriel. "I shall be back in a moment."
|
|
|
|
"Dearest----" began Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Muriel's answer was one look. She hurried from the room.
|
|
|
|
"My wife," said Stainton, resuming his seat, "is not very well."
|
|
|
|
"You desolate me," replied the physician as he grunted his way back
|
|
into his chair. "But now that madame absents herself for a moment, let
|
|
me be explicit."
|
|
|
|
"Explicit?" said Stainton. "I should have thought--Why, you have been
|
|
talking as if the very construction of society were a crime!"
|
|
|
|
"Ah," said Boussingault, delightedly, "then you perceive just my point.
|
|
That is it; you put it well: modern society is The Great Crime--life is
|
|
The Great Sin--what we have made of Life. Disease, Ignorance, Poverty,
|
|
Wage-slavery, Child-slavery, Lust-slavery, Marriage-slavery! Marriage
|
|
does not produce good children more than bad. Some of the highest types
|
|
of humanity have been produced by the left hand. You ignore the positive
|
|
side of selective breeding. If you can decide what constitutes a 'fit'
|
|
man, how can you limit his racial gifts to the child-bearing capacities
|
|
of one woman? And the woman, her, too; you must provide for selective
|
|
futile polygamy and polyandry. You must be presented to the unmarried
|
|
mother----"
|
|
|
|
"Really----" began Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"There is something in these your theories," interposed Boussingault,
|
|
rushing to his conclusion, "but here you go too far and there half-way.
|
|
In Germany, until German bureaucracy captures them, they are the great
|
|
aids to the revolt of Womankind, your theories. Educate for parenthood,
|
|
endow mothers, pension during pregnancy and nursing--what then? Name of
|
|
God! You have more to do than that, my friend--_we_ have more to do: we
|
|
have to give every child born an equal chance, every man how much he
|
|
earns; we must build a society where no superstition, no economic
|
|
strain, no selfish 'usband keeps childless the woman that wants to be
|
|
and ought to be a mother in marriage or outside; and we must recognise
|
|
of all other women their inalienable right to refuse motherhood!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose quickly.
|
|
|
|
"Here comes my wife," he said. "I am afraid we shall have to hurry away,
|
|
doctor."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XII
|
|
|
|
MONTMARTRE
|
|
|
|
|
|
Alone in their _taxi-mètre_, Stainton and Muriel preserved for some time
|
|
an awkward silence. Jim was waiting for some hint from her to indicate
|
|
what would be his safest course. His wife sat rigid, her fists clenched
|
|
in her lap.
|
|
|
|
"That doctor is a strange type," said Stainton at last.
|
|
|
|
"Horrid man! He's a _horrid_ man!" gasped Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Well, of course," said Stainton, seeking to steer her into the
|
|
quiescence of a judicial attitude, "he is all wrong in his
|
|
conclusions----"
|
|
|
|
"He picked his teeth," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
Jim had preserved his own good manners to the age of fifty, but his
|
|
years in mining-camps had blunted his observation of the lack of nicety
|
|
in others.
|
|
|
|
"Did he?" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Didn't you _see_ him? He carries a gold toothpick around with him. I
|
|
believe he was proud of it. It's--that's what made me sick."
|
|
|
|
"Then," enquired Jim, growing uncomfortable, "it wasn't what he said?"
|
|
|
|
"Said? You both sat up there and quarrelled----"
|
|
|
|
"We didn't quarrel. The doctor has what seems to be the national manner,
|
|
but we were merely discussing----"
|
|
|
|
"You were discussing me!" said Muriel. "I thought I should die. I don't
|
|
know how I bore it; I----"
|
|
|
|
Jim slipped his arm around her waist. "My dear, my dear, how could you
|
|
think such a thing? We were talking about a general subject. We
|
|
were----Why, we didn't say anything that could possibly affect you."
|
|
|
|
"I don't care," Muriel declared: "everything that _he said_--that
|
|
man--was awful."
|
|
|
|
"It was," admitted Stainton, glad that the burden of offence had again
|
|
been shifted to Boussingault's shoulders. "It was, rather. I didn't know
|
|
whether you were paying attention to it at all. To some of it I hoped
|
|
you weren't."
|
|
|
|
"Nobody could help hearing such shouting. I was so afraid there might be
|
|
some English or Americans there."
|
|
|
|
"Still, you didn't appear to hear,"--Stainton spoke with relief at
|
|
thought of this,--"so it was as well as it could be."
|
|
|
|
"I must have shown it, Jim. I thought my face would burn away."
|
|
|
|
"At any rate, you didn't talk."
|
|
|
|
"How _could_ I?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton was silent for a few seconds. Then he asked:
|
|
|
|
"What did you mean by your question?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel took some time to reply:
|
|
|
|
"What question?"
|
|
|
|
"You know: the only one you asked--about--about children not being
|
|
wanted?"
|
|
|
|
This time Muriel's answer was swift: she took her husband's broad
|
|
shoulders in her arms and, as they rolled down the boulevard, began
|
|
sobbing.
|
|
|
|
"I never want to see him again!" she vowed. "Never bring him to the
|
|
hotel. I won't be at home if he comes. I won't see him. I won't!"
|
|
|
|
She suggested changing their hotel. She declared that, even if they did
|
|
change, she could not sleep that night. She begged him to take her
|
|
somewhere to amuse her and get her thoughts away from the dreadful
|
|
Boussingault.
|
|
|
|
It was Stainton who proposed that they should see Montmartre--which
|
|
term, when used by the travelling American, means to see two or three
|
|
places in Montmartre conducted largely for Americans, which charge in
|
|
strict accord with the French ideas of the average American's
|
|
pocketbook, and are visible only between the hours of ten o'clock at
|
|
night and four o'clock in the morning.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Jim; "we might go to Montmartre. I think we ought to
|
|
see Montmartre."
|
|
|
|
"What's that?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"It's--oh, it's a part of Paris. You'll know when we get there."
|
|
|
|
"I don't remember hearing of it in our French course."
|
|
|
|
"I don't think it's included in the French course of a convent. I hope
|
|
not."
|
|
|
|
"Why not?"
|
|
|
|
"For the very reason that we ought to go see it--now."
|
|
|
|
He was quite sure that he was sincere in his attitude. They were
|
|
sightseers, and he had always been told that Montmartre was one of the
|
|
sights of Paris. They had seen everything else. They had seen Notre
|
|
Dame, the Sainte Chapelle, the markets, the Palais de Justice, the
|
|
Chambre des Députés, the tomb of Napoleon--everything. They had enjoyed
|
|
the Jardins des Tuileries and the pictures and sculpture of the
|
|
Luxembourg Museum, and they had walked through the weary miles of
|
|
painted canvases in the Louvre, where Muriel lingered before the spot at
|
|
which the Mona Lisa had long hung. They had even permitted themselves
|
|
the horrors of the Morgue. Why should Stainton not complete his
|
|
knowledge of Paris, and why should he not, like most other Americans,
|
|
take his wife, however young she was, to Montmartre with him? Jim had
|
|
once said to Holt that he had, all his life long, kept himself clean.
|
|
The curiosities of his youth had remained unsatisfied.
|
|
|
|
The strongest impulses are not infrequently those of which one is
|
|
entirely unconscious. At Aiken, Stainton had yielded himself with the
|
|
extravagance of the young man of twenty-five, which he thought he was,
|
|
to the demands of the situation in which he found himself. At sea there
|
|
had necessarily been a quieter period; but this had ended with the
|
|
arrival of the Staintons in Paris. The tension of sightseeing had,
|
|
alone, sufficed to wear them out, and now (though he persuaded himself
|
|
that this was but the inevitable development of the novel into the
|
|
commonplace) he began to fear that the high tide of his emotion might be
|
|
sinking to the low level of habit and affection, that what was true of
|
|
himself was also true of Muriel, and he drew the inference that another
|
|
sort of sightseeing would be good for them both.
|
|
|
|
So they went to Montmartre.
|
|
|
|
At the advice of their chauffeur, they commenced with the Bal Tabarin.
|
|
From the motor-car that had hauled them up the long hills of dark and
|
|
tortuous streets, they stepped into a blaze of yellow light, under which
|
|
half a dozen men hurried to them. One held the door of the cab; another,
|
|
as if it were his sole business in life, wielded a folded newspaper as a
|
|
shield to protect Muriel's gown from contamination by the motor's muddy
|
|
tires; two pointed to the scintillating doorway, and two more chattered
|
|
enquiries that Jim could in no wise interpret.
|
|
|
|
He knew, however, that there was one answer to every question: he doled
|
|
out a handful of francs, in true American fashion, and then handed a
|
|
purple and white bill to his wife.
|
|
|
|
Curiously text-book French though it was, Muriel's French had proved
|
|
really intelligible; she had rapidly acquired the power of comprehending
|
|
a full third of the French addressed to her, and all this struck
|
|
Stainton, who loved to follow the lips that were his, speaking a
|
|
language that was not his and of which he was nearly ignorant, as a
|
|
proof of her superiority. Therefore she now preceded him to the ticket
|
|
window and made their purchase. A moment later a large man in a frock
|
|
coat was ushering them, among capped and aproned maids that begged
|
|
permission to check wraps, up to the double stairway at the end of the
|
|
big ballroom and into a box twenty feet above the floor.
|
|
|
|
They sat down, conscious of themselves, and ordered a bottle of
|
|
Ayala, presently served to them in goblets to play the rôle of
|
|
wine-glasses--for one drinks champagne from goblets in Montmartre--and
|
|
looked down at the dancers on the floor below. From its balcony at the
|
|
other end of the hall a brass band was sending forth a whirlwind of
|
|
quadrille music, and in the centre of the ballroom eight women danced
|
|
the can-can. They were large women, some of them rather fat, and none of
|
|
them rather young. They wore wide straw hats and simple tailored
|
|
shirtwaists and dark skirts of a cut almost severe; but in sharp
|
|
contrast to this exterior, when they danced, they displayed incredible
|
|
yards and yards of lace petticoat and stockings that outshone the
|
|
rainbow.
|
|
|
|
"What do you think of it?" asked Stainton.
|
|
|
|
Muriel condemned the Bal Tabarin as she had condemned Boussingault.
|
|
|
|
"I think it's horrid," she replied. "Aren't they ugly?" But she did not
|
|
take her eyes from the dancers.
|
|
|
|
All about the dancing-floor, except in that large circular clearing for
|
|
the performers, were little tables where men and women sat and drank
|
|
beer and smoked cigarettes. Along one side was a long bar at which both
|
|
sexes were served. Everyone gave casual heed to the dancing; everyone
|
|
applauded when he was pleased and hissed when he was not. Now and then a
|
|
young woman would rush to a neighbouring table, seize upon a man and
|
|
guide him madly about one corner of the floor in time to the music, and
|
|
now and then it would be a young man that seized upon a woman, at which
|
|
the patrons, if they paid any attention at all to it, smiled
|
|
good-naturedly. At one of the most conspicuous tables were a couple
|
|
kissing above their foaming beer-mugs, and nobody seemed to notice them.
|
|
Clearly, this was a world where one did as one pleased, and, so long as
|
|
one did not trespass upon the individuality of another, none objected.
|
|
|
|
"Something new, isn't it?" asked Jim, rather dubiously.
|
|
|
|
"It's unbelievable," said Muriel, her face flushed.
|
|
|
|
"Shall we go?"
|
|
|
|
"No--we might as well wait a little while--until we've finished our
|
|
champagne."
|
|
|
|
The quadrille ended. There were ten minutes during which the visitors to
|
|
the place waltzed rapidly, with feet lifting high, about the floor. Down
|
|
the centre two young girls were swaying together in a form of waltzing
|
|
that neither of the Americans had ever seen before. A man and a woman,
|
|
dancing, would embrace violently at every recurrence of a certain
|
|
refrain.
|
|
|
|
Muriel slipped her hand along the rail of the box. Stainton, whose eyes
|
|
were fixed on the dancers, started at her touch.
|
|
|
|
"Hold my hand," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
He took her hand in his, lowering it from the view of the spectators.
|
|
|
|
"No," commanded Muriel: "on the rail, please."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly, but isn't that rather----"
|
|
|
|
"It seems to be the custom, Jim."
|
|
|
|
So he held her hand before them all, and soon found himself liking this.
|
|
|
|
A troupe of girls ran upon the floor and, to the music, began a
|
|
performance in tumbling. The hair of one was loosened, the ribbon that
|
|
held it fell at her slippered feet, and two men, from near-by tables,
|
|
leaped upon it and struggled laughingly for possession of the trophy.
|
|
|
|
The Staintons were intent upon this when they heard a low laugh behind
|
|
them. They looked about: three women with bright cheeks were peeping
|
|
through the swinging doors of the box. Involuntarily, Jim smiled, and,
|
|
since a smile in Montmartre passes current for an invitation, the
|
|
foremost of the girls entered, shutting out her companions.
|
|
|
|
"_Vous êtes Américains?_" she enquired.
|
|
|
|
Stainton's French went as far as that. He nodded.
|
|
|
|
"_Du nord ou du sud?_"
|
|
|
|
Jim was accustomed to thinking that there was but one real America.
|
|
|
|
"The United States," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Ver' well," laughed the girl in an English prettily accented. "Your
|
|
good 'ealth, sar--and the good 'ealth of mademoiselle."
|
|
|
|
She raised from the table Jim's goblet of champagne and drank a little.
|
|
It was evident that her English was now exhausted.
|
|
|
|
Jim, frankly puzzled, looked at Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"What shall we do?" he wondered.
|
|
|
|
He thought that Muriel would resent the intrusion, but Muriel did not
|
|
seem to resent it.
|
|
|
|
"It appears to be the custom," said Muriel again. "I suppose that we had
|
|
better ask her to sit down and have some champagne."
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Stainton, none too willingly. "You ask her, then: the
|
|
French verb 'to sit' always was too much for me."
|
|
|
|
Muriel offered the invitation; the visitor laughingly accepted; another
|
|
bottle was ordered and, while Jim, unable to understand what was being
|
|
said, leaned over the rail and looked at the dancers, his wife and the
|
|
vermilion-lipped intruder engaged in an encounter of small-talk that
|
|
Muriel began by enjoying as an improvement at once of her French and her
|
|
knowledge of the world.
|
|
|
|
The visitor, however, so managed the conversation that, though she did
|
|
give Muriel her address in a little street off the Boulevard Clichy, it
|
|
was she who was gathering information. She was extremely polite, but
|
|
extremely inquisitive.
|
|
|
|
"You have been long in Paris, is it not?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"No, not long; only two weeks," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"But in France--no?"
|
|
|
|
"We came direct to Paris."
|
|
|
|
"But you speak French well, mademoiselle."
|
|
|
|
The compliment pleased Muriel to the extent that she missed the title
|
|
applied to her.
|
|
|
|
"My knowledge of French is very small," she replied. "I studied the
|
|
language in America."
|
|
|
|
"In America? Truly? One would never suppose."
|
|
|
|
"We had a French nun for teacher."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes. And monsieur your sweetheart, he does not speak French--no?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel started.
|
|
|
|
"Monsieur," she said, a little stiffly, "is my husband."
|
|
|
|
But the visitor, far from feeling reprimanded, was openly delighted.
|
|
|
|
"Your husband?" she echoed. "Very good. He is handsome, your husband."
|
|
|
|
"I think so," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"And it is always good," pursued the guest, "that the husband be much
|
|
older than the wife, is it not?"
|
|
|
|
Instantly Muriel relapsed. She could not know that the girl spoke
|
|
sincerely. She was among strangers, and, like most of us, instinctively
|
|
suspected all whose native tongue was not her own.
|
|
|
|
"He is not much older!" she retorted.
|
|
|
|
"Oh--but yes. And it is well. It is so that it is most often arranged in
|
|
France."
|
|
|
|
"No doubt--but our marriages are not 'arranged' for us in America. We
|
|
choose for ourselves."
|
|
|
|
The visitor seemed surprised. She raised her long, high brows and looked
|
|
from Stainton to Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"How then," she enquired, "you choose for yourself a man so much older?"
|
|
|
|
"I say he is _not_ much older, not any older," said Muriel, despising
|
|
herself for having fallen into such a discussion, yet unable, in an
|
|
alien language, to disentangle herself.
|
|
|
|
"But madame is a mere girl," said the visitor, seeking only to be
|
|
polite.
|
|
|
|
"And my husband is young also," declared Muriel.
|
|
|
|
Something in the tone of this repetition convinced the French girl that
|
|
the subject was not further to be pursued. She essayed another tack.
|
|
|
|
"And the babies?" she asked. "Is it that you brought with you the
|
|
babies?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel's cheeks warmed again, and she looked away.
|
|
|
|
"We have no children," she responded, shortly.
|
|
|
|
"No children?" The visitor plainly considered this unbelievable. "You
|
|
have no little babies? Then, why to marry?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Not one?"
|
|
|
|
"We have none."
|
|
|
|
"But how unhappy, how unfortunate for monsieur! Perhaps soon----"
|
|
|
|
"We have been married only a short time."
|
|
|
|
"Ah!" The French girl seemed to rest upon that as the sole reasonable
|
|
explanation. "Then," she said with a note of encouragement in her tone,
|
|
"it is not without hope. After a while you will have the babies."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was angry. She looked to Jim for rescue; but Jim was still
|
|
leaning over the rail, engrossed in the spectacle presented by the
|
|
dancers.
|
|
|
|
"I do not want any children," said Muriel, suddenly.
|
|
|
|
"No children? You wish no children?" gasped her inquisitor. "You choose
|
|
to marry, and yet you want no children? But why then did madame marry?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel rose.
|
|
|
|
"For reasons that you cannot understand," she said. "We must go now,"
|
|
she added; and she touched Jim's arm. "Come," she said to him; "let's
|
|
go, Jim."
|
|
|
|
Stainton turned slowly.
|
|
|
|
"What's the hurry?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"It must be after one o'clock," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"But we are in Montmartre."
|
|
|
|
"Yes--and we have still a great deal of it to see before daylight, I
|
|
believe."
|
|
|
|
Jim rose.
|
|
|
|
"All right," he said.
|
|
|
|
The girl put out her hand.
|
|
|
|
"_S'il vous plaît, monsieur_," she said: "_la petite monnaie_."
|
|
|
|
Stainton had tried to take the extended hand to bid its owner
|
|
good-night, but he noticed, before she began to speak, that it was
|
|
turned palm upward.
|
|
|
|
"What's this?" he enquired of Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"My cab-fare," said the visitor in French, and Muriel, vaguely
|
|
appreciating the fact that here was another custom of the country,
|
|
translated.
|
|
|
|
"Give her a five-franc piece," she said. "Something of the sort is
|
|
evidently expected."
|
|
|
|
"So I have to pay her for the privilege of buying her champagne?"
|
|
laughed Jim. "Ask her what I _am_ paying for. I am curious about this."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Do," urged Stainton.
|
|
|
|
But the girl appeared now to comprehend. She was not embarrassed.
|
|
|
|
"In brief," she explained, "for my time."
|
|
|
|
"You pay her," Muriel grudgingly translated, "for her time. But," she
|
|
concluded, "I wouldn't pay her much, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"So that's it!" chuckled Stainton. "Oh, well, I don't want to seem
|
|
stingy after all this discussion of it."
|
|
|
|
He handed her a ten-franc louis.
|
|
|
|
The girl's eyes caught the unexpected glint of gold.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, la-la-la!" she gurgled, and, with what seemed one movement, she
|
|
pocketed the money; drank to Jim's health; flung her arms about him with
|
|
a sounding kiss on his mouth, and ran giggling through the
|
|
folding-doors.
|
|
|
|
Stainton, tingling with a strange excitement and looking decidedly
|
|
foolish, gazed at his wife.
|
|
|
|
"What do you think of that?" he choked.
|
|
|
|
Muriel stood before him trembling, her black eyes ablaze.
|
|
|
|
"How _dared_ you?" she demanded.
|
|
|
|
"_I?_" Jim was still bewildered. "What on earth did _I_ do?"
|
|
|
|
"And before my very eyes!" said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"But, my dear, _I_ didn't do anything. It was the girl----"
|
|
|
|
"You permitted it."
|
|
|
|
"I hadn't time to forbid. Besides, it would have been absurd to forbid.
|
|
And she meant it as a compliment."
|
|
|
|
"Not to you. Don't flatter yourself, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"Well, at any rate, my dear, it is merely another custom of the quarter
|
|
that we are in. Really, I scarcely think you should object."
|
|
|
|
"It was the money that she liked, Jim. I think that, as for you, you
|
|
couldn't have been more absurd even if you had forbidden her."
|
|
|
|
He quieted her as best he could. They would go, he said, to L'Abbaye, of
|
|
which their chauffeur had spoken to them; and to L'Abbaye, that most
|
|
gilded and most brilliant of all the night palaces of Montmartre, they
|
|
went.
|
|
|
|
They climbed the crowded stairs and paused for a moment in the doorway,
|
|
while Jim began to divest himself of his overcoat. Muriel, ahead, was
|
|
looking into the elaborate room.
|
|
|
|
Pale green and white it was and loud with laughter and music, with the
|
|
popping of many corks and the chatter of persons that seemed to have no
|
|
mission there save the common mission of enjoyment. In the centre was a
|
|
cleared space, and there, among handsomely appointed tables, the white
|
|
waistcoated men and radiantly-gowned women loudly applauding, two
|
|
Spanish girls in bright costumes were dancing the sensuous mattchiche.
|
|
|
|
Muriel saw that, at one of the tables nearest the dancers, was a young
|
|
man who applauded more enthusiastically than any of his neighbours. She
|
|
saw that the girls observed this and liked it. She saw one girl, with an
|
|
especially violent embrace, seize her partner, hold her tight for an
|
|
instant, release her, and then, dashing to the young man, extend her
|
|
arms, to which the young man sprang amid the tolerant laughter of his
|
|
companions. Muriel saw the Spanish girl and the young man continue the
|
|
dance.
|
|
|
|
Quickly she wheeled to her husband.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to go in here," she said.
|
|
|
|
"What?" Jim was utterly dumfounded.
|
|
|
|
She caught the lapels of his coat and held him, with his back to the
|
|
room, in the position that he had thus far maintained.
|
|
|
|
"I say that I don't want to go in. Take me away. Here, these are the
|
|
stairs. I'm tired. It's vulgar. I'm not well."
|
|
|
|
She released her hold of him and started to descend alone. He was forced
|
|
to follow with hardly the chance to get his coat and hat.
|
|
|
|
In the motor-car she grasped his face in her hot hands and fell, between
|
|
sobs, to kissing him.
|
|
|
|
"I love you!--I love you!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
The young man with the Spanish dancer was Franz von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XIII
|
|
|
|
WORMWOOD
|
|
|
|
|
|
When she awoke it was with a confused memory of a troubled night through
|
|
which, as she dozed, she had known that Jim was often out of his bed,
|
|
often walking up and down. She thought that she had once been worried
|
|
lest he take cold, for he had been barefooted and without his dressing
|
|
gown. She thought that she had sleepily asked him to be more careful, to
|
|
return to rest. She thought that he had made a rather quick reply,
|
|
bidding her sleep and not bother.
|
|
|
|
Now she saw him fully clothed and making stealthily for the door that
|
|
opened on the hall. The morning light showed his face very grey; perhaps
|
|
this was because he had not shaved, for clearly he had not shaved; but
|
|
Muriel also noticed that the lines from his nostrils to the corners of
|
|
his mouth seemed deeper than usual. She saw that he held his hat in his
|
|
hand, that his coat was flung over his arm, and that the glance which he
|
|
cast toward her, as he sought to determine whether the noise of the
|
|
turned door knob had roused her, was the glance that might be expected
|
|
of a thief leaving a room that he had robbed.
|
|
|
|
Then the thing that had happened came back to her. She closed her eyes
|
|
and gladly let him go.
|
|
|
|
On his part, Stainton had guessed that she had sleepily seen him, but he
|
|
was content because she refrained from questioning him, from any renewal
|
|
of the enquiries that she had made when this new terror arose. He walked
|
|
down the stairs, where scrubbing women shifted their pails of water that
|
|
he might pass and smiled at him as old serving-women are accustomed to
|
|
smile at the men they see leaving the hotel in the early morning. He
|
|
knew what they thought, and he sickened at the contrast between their
|
|
surmise and the truth.
|
|
|
|
He walked to the grands boulevards. It was too early to go to
|
|
Boussingault's; he looked at the watch that he had been consulting every
|
|
fifteen minutes for the past two hours, and he saw that for two hours
|
|
more it would be too early to go. He stopped at a double row of round
|
|
tables on the sidewalk outside a corner café. Only one of them was in
|
|
use, and that by a haggard but nonchalant young man in a high hat and a
|
|
closely buttoned overcoat that failed to conceal the fact that its owner
|
|
was still in evening dress. The young man was drinking black coffee, and
|
|
his hand trembled. Stainton sat at the table farthest from this other
|
|
customer.
|
|
|
|
A dirty waiter appeared from the café and shuffled forward, adjusting
|
|
his apron.
|
|
|
|
"_B'jour, monsieur_," the waiter mumbled.
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not return this salutation.
|
|
|
|
"_Une absinthe au sucre avec de l'eau_," he ordered.
|
|
|
|
He had tasted the stuff only once before, and that was thirty years ago.
|
|
He had hesitated to order it now, because he feared that the waiter
|
|
would show a superior wonder at any man's ordering absinthe on the
|
|
boulevard at eight o'clock in the morning.
|
|
|
|
The waiter showed no surprise. He brought the tumbler, placed it on the
|
|
little plate that bore the figures indicating the price of the drink,
|
|
put the water bottle and the absinthe bottle beside it and held the
|
|
glass dish full of lumps of dusty sugar. When Jim had served himself
|
|
after the manner in which he had recently seen Frenchmen, of an
|
|
afternoon, serving themselves, the waiter withdrew.
|
|
|
|
The sun emerged from the clouds that so often shroud its early progress
|
|
toward the zenith on a day of that season in Paris and fell with unkind
|
|
inquisitiveness upon the young man with the coffee and the old one with
|
|
the wormwood. The street began to awake with shopgirls painted for their
|
|
work as they had lately been painted for what they took to be their
|
|
play, upon clerks going to their banks and offices, upon newsboys
|
|
shrilly crying the titles of the morning journals. The boys annoyed Jim
|
|
by the leer with which they accompanied the gesture that thrust the
|
|
papers beneath his nose; the clerks annoyed him by their knowing smiles;
|
|
the girls annoyed him most because they would call one another's
|
|
attention to him, comment to one another about him, and laugh. Of these
|
|
people the first two sorts envied him for what they thought he had been
|
|
doing; the last sort saw in him a good fellow with a heart like their
|
|
own hearts; but Jim hated them all.
|
|
|
|
He gulped the remainder of his absinthe and, hailing an open carriage,
|
|
went for a drive in the Bois. He bade the coachman drive slowly, but,
|
|
when he returned to the city and was left at the doctor's address, he
|
|
found himself the first patient in the waiting-room.
|
|
|
|
Was _M. le médecin_ in? Yes, the grave manservant assured, but he
|
|
doubted if _M. le médecin_ could as yet receive monsieur. It was early,
|
|
and _M. le médecin_ rarely saw any patients before--
|
|
|
|
Stainton produced his card and a franc. He had not long to wait before
|
|
the double-doors of the consulting room opened and Boussingault cheerily
|
|
bade him enter.
|
|
|
|
"The good day, the good day!" Boussingault was as leathery of face and
|
|
as voluble as he had been on the evening previous. He took both of Jim's
|
|
hands and shook them. "It is the early bird that you are, _hein_? Did
|
|
the dinner of last night not well digest? Sit. We shall see. It is not
|
|
my specialty; I help for to eat: I do not help for to digest. But what
|
|
is a specialty that one to it should confine one's self with a friend?
|
|
Sit."
|
|
|
|
The room was lined by bookcases full of medical and social works and
|
|
pamphlets in French, German, and English: Freud's "Sammlung Kleiner
|
|
Schriften zur Neurosenlehr," Duclaux's "L'Hygiène Sociale,"
|
|
Solis-Cohen's "Therapeutics of Tuberculosis," Ducleaux, Fournier,
|
|
Havelock Ellis, Forel, Buret, Neisser, Bloch. There were some portraits,
|
|
there was a chair that looked as if it could be converted with appalling
|
|
ease into an operating table, there was a large electric battery and
|
|
there was a flat-topped desk covered with phials and loose leaves from a
|
|
memorandum book. Boussingault seated himself, grunting, at his desk, his
|
|
back to the window, and indicated a chair that faced him.
|
|
|
|
Stainton took the chair. He was still pale, and the corners of his ample
|
|
mouth were contracted.
|
|
|
|
"My digestion is all right," he said. "What bothers me is something
|
|
else. I dare say it's not--not much. I know that these things may be the
|
|
merely temporary effect of some slight nervous depression, of physical
|
|
weariness, or--or a great many minor things. Only, you know, one does
|
|
like to have a physician's assurance."
|
|
|
|
Boussingault peered through his bar-bound _pince-nez_. He began to
|
|
understand.
|
|
|
|
"Nervous depression," said he: "one does not benefit that by absinthe
|
|
before the _déjeuner_."
|
|
|
|
Stainton tried to smile.
|
|
|
|
"That was my first absinthe in thirty years and the second in my life,"
|
|
he said; "but I dare say I am rather redolent of it, for the fact is I
|
|
took it on an empty stomach."
|
|
|
|
The doctor leaned across the desk, his hands clasped on its surface.
|
|
|
|
"M. Stainton," he asked, "you come here to-day as a patient, is it not?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, I hope that I won't need any treatment, but----"
|
|
|
|
"But you do not come here to pass the time, _hein_?"
|
|
|
|
"No, doctor."
|
|
|
|
"Then," said Boussingault, spreading out his hands and shrugging his
|
|
shoulders, "tell me why in the so early morning, not sick, you take
|
|
absinthe for the second time in your life."
|
|
|
|
He was looking at Stainton in a manner that distinctly added to Jim's
|
|
nervousness. The American was not a man to quail before most, and he had
|
|
come here to get this expert's opinion on a vital matter; yet he feared
|
|
to furnish the only data on which an opinion could, to have use, be
|
|
founded.
|
|
|
|
"Well, doctor," he said, trying hard for the easiest words, "you--you
|
|
met my wife last evening."
|
|
|
|
Boussingault's bullet head bobbed.
|
|
|
|
"What then?" he inquired.
|
|
|
|
"What do you think of her?"
|
|
|
|
"I think that she is very charming--and, M. Stainton, very young."
|
|
|
|
It struck Jim that the concluding phrase had been weighted with
|
|
significance.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know just how to tell you," he resumed. "I don't like to talk
|
|
even to my physician of--of certain intimate matters; but"--he glanced
|
|
at the most conspicuous volumes on the nearest shelf--"from the titles
|
|
of these books, I think that what I want to see you about falls within
|
|
the limits of your specialty."
|
|
|
|
He stopped, gnawing his lower lip, his mind seeking phrases. Before he
|
|
could find a suitable one, his vis-à-vis, looking him straight in the
|
|
eyes, had settled the matter:
|
|
|
|
"My friend, there are but two reasons why one that is no fool should
|
|
drink absinthe at an hour so greatly early: or he has been guilty of
|
|
excess and regrets, or he has been unable to be guilty and regrets." He
|
|
paused, his face thrust half across the desk. "Madame," he demanded,
|
|
"she is how old?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton met him bravely now, but in a manner clearly showing his
|
|
anxiety to protect himself.
|
|
|
|
"She is nearly nineteen."
|
|
|
|
"Eighteen, _bien_. And you?"
|
|
|
|
Jim drew back. He took a long breath; his fingers held tightly to the
|
|
arms of his chair.
|
|
|
|
"Before I married," he said, "only a very short time before I married, I
|
|
had myself looked over carefully by one of the most eminent physicians
|
|
in New York. He assured me that I was in perfect physical condition,
|
|
that I was not by any means an old man, that, as a matter of fact----"
|
|
|
|
Boussingault thumped the desk with his forefinger.
|
|
|
|
"Poof, poof! I do not ask of your heart, your liver, your _biceps
|
|
flexor_. How many years are you alive?"
|
|
|
|
"Doctor," said Stainton, "I don't think you quite understand----"
|
|
|
|
"I understand well what I want to know. Are you married a long time?"
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary."
|
|
|
|
"And your age?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton realised that it must be foolishly feminine longer to fence.
|
|
|
|
"Fifty," he belligerently declared.
|
|
|
|
Dr. Boussingault leaned back, spread wide his arms, and smiled.
|
|
|
|
"_Vous voilà!_"
|
|
|
|
"But, doctor, wait a moment. You don't understand----"
|
|
|
|
"My friend, if you understand these things more well than do I, why is
|
|
it that you come to me? A man of fifty, he but recently marries a girl
|
|
of eighteen----"
|
|
|
|
"But I have lived a careful life!"
|
|
|
|
"We all do. I have never known a drunkard; all of my drunkards, they are
|
|
moderate drinkers."
|
|
|
|
"I drink no more than you."
|
|
|
|
"I was not speaking literally, monsieur."
|
|
|
|
"I have lived in the open air," said Jim.
|
|
|
|
"La-la-la!"
|
|
|
|
"And I have been abstemious. You understand me now: absolutely
|
|
abstemious."
|
|
|
|
It was obvious that Boussingault doubted this, but he made a valiant
|
|
effort to speak as if he did not.
|
|
|
|
"If Jacques never has drunk," said he, "brandy will poison him."
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose.
|
|
|
|
"I am as sound as a bell," he vowed.
|
|
|
|
Boussingault did not rise. He only leaned back the farther and smiled
|
|
the more knowingly.
|
|
|
|
"Yet you are here," said he.
|
|
|
|
Stainton took a turn of the room. When he had risen he had meant to
|
|
leave, but he knew that such a course was folly. When he turned, he
|
|
showed Boussingault a face distorted by anguish.
|
|
|
|
"What can I do?" he asked. His voice was low; his deportment was as
|
|
restrained as he could make it. "She is a girl----"
|
|
|
|
"Were madame forty-five," said the physician, "you would not have come
|
|
to consult me."
|
|
|
|
"Surely it's not fair, doctor. After all my repression--all my life
|
|
of--of----"
|
|
|
|
Boussingault rose at last. He came round the desk and, with a touch of
|
|
genuine affection in the movement, slipped an arm through one of Jim's.
|
|
|
|
"We every one feel that," said he. "It goes nothing. The pious man, he
|
|
comes to me and says: 'It is not fair; I have been too good to deserve!'
|
|
The old roué, he comes to me and says--the same thing. We all some day
|
|
curse Nature; but Nature, she does not make exceptions for the reward of
|
|
merit; she cares nothing for morals; she cares only for the excess on
|
|
one side or other, and for the rest she lays down her law and follows it
|
|
with regard to no man."
|
|
|
|
"At the worst," said Jim, his face averted, "I am only fifty."
|
|
|
|
"With a girl-wife," sighed Boussingault. "Name of God!"
|
|
|
|
"And I am in good shape," pleaded Jim.
|
|
|
|
The Frenchman's hand pressed Stainton's arm.
|
|
|
|
"Listen," he said, "listen, my friend, to me. I am Boussingault, but
|
|
even Boussingault is not Joshua that he can turn back the sun or make
|
|
him to stand still. If you were the Czar of the Russias or M. Roosevelt,
|
|
I could not do for you that. You have taken this young girl from her
|
|
young friends; you give her yourself in their stead, no one but yourself
|
|
with whom to speak, to share her childish thoughts--you try to live
|
|
downwards to her years with both your mind and your physique. It is not
|
|
possible, my friend. But you have not come to a plight so bad. Nature is
|
|
not cruel. It is not all worse yet. This is not the end, no. It is the
|
|
beginning. You but must not try to be too young, and you have perhaps
|
|
time left to you. It may be, much time. Who knows? You must remember
|
|
your age and you must live in accord with your age. Now, just now--Poof!
|
|
It goes nothing. You require more quiet, some rest. Find a reason for to
|
|
quit madame for a week. Madame Boussingault, my wife, she will pay her
|
|
respects to Madame Stainton and request that she come to stay with us.
|
|
Make affairs call you from Paris. Rest. See. I give you this
|
|
prescription, but it is nothing in itself. It will quiet you, no more.
|
|
You must yourself rest."
|
|
|
|
He darted to the desk, fumbled among its papers, wrote upon one, and
|
|
handed it to Jim. Then he continued for ten minutes to talk in the same
|
|
strain, as before.
|
|
|
|
"Of course," said Jim, "in a little while it would all have been
|
|
easier."
|
|
|
|
"In a little while?"
|
|
|
|
"There will be a child."
|
|
|
|
Boussingault's friendliness nearly vanished.
|
|
|
|
"What?" he said. "And you--you----Thousand thunders, these Americans
|
|
here!"
|
|
|
|
At this Stainton himself grew angry.
|
|
|
|
"Do you think I am a brute?" he said. "It is far off."
|
|
|
|
"Hear him!" Dr. Boussingault appealed to the ceiling. "Hear him! 'It is
|
|
far off!' Name of a name! Go you one day to the consulting room of the
|
|
great Pinard at the Clinique Baudelocque and read the '_Avis Important_'
|
|
he there has posted on the door."
|
|
|
|
It needed quite a quarter of an hour more for the physician to explain
|
|
and for Stainton to recover his temper, which, generally gentle, had
|
|
been tried by this new threat of evil and was now the more being tried
|
|
by the reaction of his system against the absinthe. Then, after Madame
|
|
Boussingault had been seen and the arrangements for Muriel's visit had
|
|
been completed, the doctor sent him away with more advice and more
|
|
exclamations against the ignorance of the average man and woman of
|
|
maturity.
|
|
|
|
"A week," he said, patting Stainton's broad, straight back. "One little
|
|
week. We must ourself sever from the so charming lady for so long, for
|
|
we know that, ultimately, an absence will work for even her good. Is it
|
|
not, _hein_? But the not-knowing profound of mankind! Incredible! Truly.
|
|
Nine-tens of my women patients, they are married, who of themselves know
|
|
not half so much as the savage little girl of ten years. And the men,
|
|
they I think no more wise."
|
|
|
|
Stainton passed through the now crowded waiting-room and into the sunlit
|
|
street in a mood that wavered between rebellion and submission. He
|
|
walked to the Chatham and, once arrived, walked past the hotel. He did
|
|
this twice, when, with the realisation that he hesitated from fear of
|
|
Muriel, he mastered his timidity and entered.
|
|
|
|
His wife was still in bed. Her eyes were closed, but Stainton knew that
|
|
she was not asleep. He went to her and kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he said, "I am going to Lyons."
|
|
|
|
She did not open her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she said.
|
|
|
|
"I think that I ought to go," said Stainton, "and clean up this matter
|
|
of the sale. I shall get the American consul there to recommend a good
|
|
lawyer, and I'll complete the whole transaction as soon as I can."
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"It will probably take an entire week," pursued Stainton. He waited. "I
|
|
don't like to leave you alone in Paris, but you'd be frightfully lonely
|
|
in Lyons, and I shall be busy--very busy. Now, I know you don't like
|
|
Boussingault. I don't like his opinions myself, but he is a leading man
|
|
in his specialty, and his wife is a good woman. She has said that she
|
|
will call on you this afternoon and take you to stay with her."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was silent.
|
|
|
|
"That's all," said Stainton, "except that there is a train from the Gare
|
|
de Lyon at noon, and I ought to take it."
|
|
|
|
"Then you have been to Dr. Boussingault?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, dear."
|
|
|
|
"And he----"
|
|
|
|
"He said the--the change was what I needed."
|
|
|
|
He busied himself packing a bag. At last he came again to the bed and
|
|
bent over her.
|
|
|
|
"Good-bye," he said.
|
|
|
|
She raised her lips, and he strained her to him. He did not trust
|
|
himself to say more, and he was grateful to her for her refusal to ask
|
|
any further question. She kissed him, her eyes unopened. All that he
|
|
knew was that she kissed him.
|
|
|
|
Muriel lay quiet for some time. Then she got up and dressed and
|
|
shuddered when she looked at herself in the mirror, and tightened her
|
|
stays. Yet she dressed carefully before going out for a long walk.
|
|
|
|
In the Tuileries Gardens she watched the gaily costumed maids and wet
|
|
nurses with their little charges. She saw a woman of the working class,
|
|
who was soon to be a mother. She looked away.
|
|
|
|
She hailed a passing cab.
|
|
|
|
"Drive me to the Boulevard Clichy," she said in French.
|
|
|
|
The driver nodded.
|
|
|
|
Muriel entered the cab. She had an important errand.
|
|
|
|
Late in the afternoon she returned to the Chatham and left it with a
|
|
suitcase in her hand. She told the unsurprised clerk at the _bureau_
|
|
that her rooms were to be held for her, but that she would be absent for
|
|
five days.
|
|
|
|
"If anyone calls," she said, "you will say that I have gone to Lyon with
|
|
monsieur."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XIV
|
|
|
|
RUNAWAYS
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stainton returned to Paris at the end of eight days in far better
|
|
spirits than he had been in when he left. He had sold the mine at nearly
|
|
his own figure, and he had what he considered reasons for believing that
|
|
Dr. Boussingault had exaggerated his condition. Muriel's letters had, to
|
|
be sure, been unsatisfactory; they had been brief and hurried; far from
|
|
congratulating him on the success of his business affairs when he
|
|
announced it, they made no mention of it; but then, he had never before
|
|
received any letters from Muriel, and doubtless these represented her
|
|
normal method of correspondence. He concluded that if they were below
|
|
the normal, that was due to the cares of her condition.
|
|
|
|
Their sitting-room at the Chatham was dim when he entered it, for the
|
|
day was dull, and Muriel had several of the curtains drawn. She rose to
|
|
meet him, and he embraced her warmly.
|
|
|
|
"Hello," he said. "You understood my wire, didn't you? I didn't want to
|
|
have to say 'howdy' to my sweetheart at the Boussingaults'. Oh, but it's
|
|
good to be with you again!"
|
|
|
|
"What wire?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Why, didn't you get it?" said Stainton. "The wire telling you to come
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Muriel, "that one? Yes."
|
|
|
|
"You see," explained Jim as he kissed her again and again, "I wanted to
|
|
have you right away all to myself; that's why I asked you to come back
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Muriel, "that was better. I didn't want to have you meet me
|
|
before those strangers."
|
|
|
|
"Not exactly strangers, dear; but it's better to be together, just our
|
|
two selves--just our one self, isn't it? And we'll be that always now,"
|
|
he continued joyously as he sat down in an arm-chair and drew her to his
|
|
knee. "Just we two. No more business. Never again. I have earned my
|
|
reward and got it. The blessed mine has served its turn and is
|
|
gone--going, going, gone--and at a splendid figure. Sold to M. Henri
|
|
Duperré Boussingault et Cie., for----I told you the figure, didn't
|
|
I--_our_ figure? Isn't it splendid?"
|
|
|
|
"I am glad," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"You don't really object?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Why should I? Of course I am glad."
|
|
|
|
"But don't you remember? Once you said that you didn't want me to sell
|
|
it."
|
|
|
|
"Did I? Oh, yes; I do remember--but you showed me how foolish that was."
|
|
|
|
He laughed happily.
|
|
|
|
"I am a great converter," he said. "If you could only have heard me
|
|
converting those Frenchmen to my belief in the mine, Muriel--and mostly
|
|
through interpreters, too; for only two of them spoke any English, and
|
|
you know what my French is. But I wrote you all that."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," replied Muriel, "you wrote me all that."
|
|
|
|
"I can't say so much for your letters," Jim went on. "They were a little
|
|
brief, dearie: brief and rather vague. Did you miss me?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"Did you? Maybe I didn't miss you! Oh, how I wanted to be with you. On
|
|
Wednesday, while they were thinking it over for the hundredth time and
|
|
there was nothing for me to do but knock about Lyons, I nearly jumped on
|
|
a train to come all the way here to see you. How would you have liked
|
|
that?"
|
|
|
|
"I should----" She stopped and put her head on his shoulder.
|
|
|
|
"Poor dear," he said; "poor lonely girly! You did miss me, then? Were
|
|
the Boussingaults kind? Of course they were; but how were they kind?
|
|
Tell me all about your visit there. I was glad to get every line you
|
|
wrote me; I kissed your signature every night and each morning; but you
|
|
didn't tell me much news, dearest. Tell me now about your visit to the
|
|
Boussingaults."
|
|
|
|
Muriel sat upon his knee.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't go to the Boussingaults," she said.
|
|
|
|
"What?" Stainton started so that he almost unseated her.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't go to the Boussingaults," she repeated.
|
|
|
|
"But, dearest, how--What?--Where were you? You mean to say that you
|
|
stayed here, alone, in this hotel?"
|
|
|
|
She nodded.
|
|
|
|
Stainton was amazed; he was shocked that she could have deceived him and
|
|
sorely troubled at the effect of this on the Boussingaults.
|
|
|
|
"You never told me," he said. "You might have told me, Muriel. Why did
|
|
you do such a foolish thing? Why did you do it?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel stood up. She turned her back toward him.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," she said. "I--Oh, you know I couldn't bear that man!"
|
|
|
|
"But you might have told me, dear. Why, all my letters went there! Then
|
|
you never got my letters?"
|
|
|
|
She shook her head.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel! And you pretended--Didn't Madame Boussingault call for you? She
|
|
said she would call the afternoon that I left."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose she did."
|
|
|
|
"Suppose! Don't you know?" Jim also was on his feet. "Didn't you see
|
|
her? You don't mean to say that you didn't see her?"
|
|
|
|
"I didn't see her. I left word at the _bureau_ that I was out. I left
|
|
word that I had gone to Lyons with you."
|
|
|
|
"Good heavens, Muriel! What will they think? What must they be thinking
|
|
right now? My letters to you went there. I wrote every day. They would
|
|
know from the arrival of those letters addressed to you from Lyons that
|
|
you weren't with me."
|
|
|
|
She sank on a chair and began feebly to cry.
|
|
|
|
Jim knelt by her, his annoyance remaining, but his heart touched.
|
|
|
|
"There, there!" he said. "I understand. You wanted to go with me and
|
|
were afraid to say so. I wish now that you had gone. That doctor is a
|
|
fool. He must be a fool. And he isn't a pleasant man. I understand,
|
|
dearie. Don't say any more. I was cruel----"
|
|
|
|
"No, no!" sobbed Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"I was. Yes, I was."
|
|
|
|
"You are the best man in the world, only--only----"
|
|
|
|
"I was the worst, the very worst. If you only had told me how you felt,
|
|
dearest. If you only hadn't deceived me!"
|
|
|
|
"I had to."
|
|
|
|
"Out of consideration for me."
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"It was. I understand. You thought the trip alone would do me good, and
|
|
so you wouldn't say a word to change my plans." He had no thought for
|
|
anything but contrition now. "And you stuck it out. My poor, brave,
|
|
lonely darling! To think of me being so callous! How could I? And you in
|
|
your condition!"
|
|
|
|
She drew from him.
|
|
|
|
"Jim----" she said.
|
|
|
|
"I won't hear you accuse yourself," he protested.
|
|
|
|
"But, Jim----"
|
|
|
|
"Not now. Not ever. Not another word. Never mind the Boussingaults.
|
|
Boussingault is a physician, after all, and will understand when I tell
|
|
him."
|
|
|
|
"Don't tell him, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"We'll see; we'll see."
|
|
|
|
"Please don't. I hate him so, I never want to have to think of him
|
|
again."
|
|
|
|
"Don't you bother, dearie. You are the finest woman that ever lived."
|
|
|
|
"But, Jim, I'm not." She kept her head averted. "I am--I dare say I am
|
|
as bad----"
|
|
|
|
"Stop," he commanded. "I won't hear it. Not even from you. I will not.
|
|
Think, dearest: we are foolish to be unhappy. We have every reason in
|
|
the world to be happy. We are rich. We have no business to bother or
|
|
interfere with whatever we may want to do. We love each other and
|
|
soon"--he broke the tacit treaty of silence concerning their child--"in
|
|
a few months we are to have a little baby to complete everything."
|
|
|
|
"Don't!" said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
But Stainton took her by both hands and raised her and kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Not this time," he said. "This once I am going to have my way. I am
|
|
going to make you happy in spite of yourself. We shall never see or hear
|
|
of Boussingault again if you are only as obedient as you are nearly
|
|
always. It is still early afternoon. We are going out together and make
|
|
a tour of the shops."
|
|
|
|
She lifted her face with a troubled smile.
|
|
|
|
"I have everything I want," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Poor dear," said Stainton, "you're pale. I suppose you scarcely dared
|
|
to go out of doors while I was away. No, come on: we shall go now."
|
|
|
|
"Please," said Muriel; "I have all I want."
|
|
|
|
"All?" smiled her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Of course I have. You've got me such loads of lovely things already
|
|
that I don't know what I am to do with them all and where to pack them.
|
|
You know you have got me ever so much, Jim."
|
|
|
|
"For yourself, perhaps I have got you a few things, dearie; and I'm glad
|
|
you like them. But I have always heard that Paris was the place to get
|
|
some other sort of things. Aren't there some of those--some little
|
|
things--some little lace things that we ought to get against the arrival
|
|
of the newcomer? I am so proud, Muriel, and I want the newcomer to know
|
|
I am."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's voice faltered.
|
|
|
|
"So soon----" she said.
|
|
|
|
"We might as well make what preparations we can while we are in the city
|
|
where the best preparations can be made. No, no. You must come. Come
|
|
along."
|
|
|
|
She went with him, pale and silent, and Jim led her through shop after
|
|
shop and forced her, by good-natured insistence, to buy baby clothes.
|
|
She protested at the start; she tried to cut the expedition in half; she
|
|
endeavoured to postpone this purchase or that; but he would not heed
|
|
her. He urged her to suggest articles of the infantile toilette of which
|
|
he was totally ignorant; when she declared that she knew as little as
|
|
he, he made her translate his questions to the frankly delighted shop
|
|
clerks. He had been inspired with the idea that, by such a process as
|
|
this, he could bring her to a proper point of view in regard to the
|
|
approaching event, and he did not concede failure until Muriel at last
|
|
broke down and fainted in their _taxi-mètre_.
|
|
|
|
The next morning she told Jim that she wanted to go away.
|
|
|
|
"All right," said Stainton: after his journey from Lyons he had slept
|
|
long and heavily and was still very tired. "Where'd you like to go?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know. Anywhere. I'm not particular."
|
|
|
|
"Well, we'll think it over to-day and look up the time-tables."
|
|
|
|
They were in their sitting-room at the hotel. Muriel parted the curtains
|
|
and stood looking out upon a grey day.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to think it over," she said.
|
|
|
|
"But we've got to know where we're going before we start."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see why. Besides, I said I wasn't particular where we went. I
|
|
want to go to-day."
|
|
|
|
"To-day?" Jim did not like to rush about so madly, and his voice showed
|
|
it.
|
|
|
|
"Why not? Look at the weather. Half the time we've been here it's been
|
|
like this. I don't think Paris agrees with me."
|
|
|
|
He softened.
|
|
|
|
"Aren't you well?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"What is it? My dear child!" He came toward her.
|
|
|
|
"Don't call me that," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Why not, Muriel?"
|
|
|
|
"It sounds as if you were so much older than I am. Jim----" She put her
|
|
hand in his--"I'm horrid, I know----"
|
|
|
|
"You're never that!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes I am. I'm horrid now. You don't know. I'm not ill, but I'm so tired
|
|
of Paris. It grates on my nerves. Let's go away now. The servants can
|
|
pack, and we can be somewhere else by evening."
|
|
|
|
Again Muriel took refuge at the window.
|
|
|
|
"There's Switzerland," she said. "I should like to see the Alps."
|
|
|
|
"Isn't it rather early in the year for them?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't think so."
|
|
|
|
"It'll be cold, dear."
|
|
|
|
"Well, we can stand a little cold, Jim. If we wait till the warm
|
|
weather, we shall run into all the summer tourists."
|
|
|
|
She had her way. The servants packed, and Jim went out to make
|
|
arrangements. In an hour he was back.
|
|
|
|
"All right," he triumphantly announced. "I've ordered our next batch of
|
|
mail sent on as far as Neuchâtel. We can get a train in forty-five
|
|
minutes to Dijon, where we might as well stop over night. I found a
|
|
ticket-seller that spoke some sort of English--and here are the tickets.
|
|
Can you be ready?"
|
|
|
|
She was ready. They started at once upon a feverish and constantly
|
|
distracting journey.
|
|
|
|
The night was passed at Dijon. In the early morning they boarded their
|
|
train for Switzerland, went through the flat country east of Mouchard,
|
|
then swept into the Juras, climbing high in air and looking over
|
|
fruitful plains that stretched to the horizon and were cut by white
|
|
strips of road which seemed to run for lengths of ten miles without
|
|
deviation from their tangent. The train would plunge into a black tunnel
|
|
and emerge to look down at a little valley among vineyards with old
|
|
red-tiled cottages clustered around a high-spired church. Another tunnel
|
|
would succeed, and another red-tiled village and high-spired church
|
|
would follow. Mile upon mile of pine-forest spread itself along the
|
|
tracks, and then, at last, toward late afternoon, far beyond Pontarlier
|
|
and the fortressed pass to the east of it, there was revealed, forward
|
|
and to the right, what Muriel mistook for jagged, needle-like clouds
|
|
about a strip of the sky: the lake of Neuchâtel with the white Sentis to
|
|
the Mont Blanc Alpine range, the Jungfrau towering in its midst.
|
|
|
|
But a day at Neuchâtel sufficed Muriel; on the next morning she wanted
|
|
to move on. She made enquiries.
|
|
|
|
"We might motor to Soleure," she said to Stainton, and when the motor
|
|
was finally chosen, she decided for the train and Zurich.
|
|
|
|
"Why, they say there is nothing much to see in Zurich," Jim faintly
|
|
protested.
|
|
|
|
"Let's find out for ourselves," said Muriel. "Besides, we have done
|
|
almost no travelling, and that's what we came for, and now you've no
|
|
business and nothing else to do."
|
|
|
|
So they were en route again on the day following, by way of Berne,
|
|
through the wooded mountains, past the loftily placed castle of Aarburg,
|
|
past picturesque Olten and Brugg with its ancient abbey of
|
|
Königsfelden, where the Empress Elizabeth and Queen Agnes of Hungary
|
|
had sought to commemorate the murder of the Emperor Albert of Austria by
|
|
John of Swabia, five hundred years before. They saw the hotels of Baden
|
|
and the Cistercian abbey of Wettingen, and they came, by noon, to
|
|
Zurich.
|
|
|
|
They lunched and took a motor drive about the city. In the midst of
|
|
their tour, just as they were speeding through the Stadthaus-Platz on
|
|
their way to the Gross-Münster, Muriel said:
|
|
|
|
"I believe you were right, after all, Jim. There isn't much to see here.
|
|
Let's go on to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
It was a tribute to his powers of prediction.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," he answered. "As a matter of fact, I should like to go back
|
|
to the hotel this minute and lie down."
|
|
|
|
She would not hear of that.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, no!" she protested. "There is the Zwingli Museum, the Hohe
|
|
Promenade, and the National Museum to see. We mustn't miss them, you
|
|
know. What would Aunt Ethel say?"
|
|
|
|
Nor could she permit him to miss them. She seemed to thrive as much upon
|
|
the labour as if she had been shopping as she used to shop in her
|
|
unmarried days, and she dragged him after her, a husband more weary than
|
|
he had often been in his pilgrimages through the Great Desert.
|
|
|
|
"To-morrow," he yawned, as he flung himself down to sleep, eight hours
|
|
later, "we shall start for some place where we can rest and see a few
|
|
real Alps. We'll go to the Engadine."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was seated at some distance from the bed. She was stooping to
|
|
loosen her boots, and her hair fell over her face and hid it.
|
|
|
|
"Don't let's go there," she said. "Let's go to Innsbruck."
|
|
|
|
"Innsbruck? That's in Austria, isn't it?"
|
|
|
|
"Is it? Well, what if it is, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
"I thought you wanted to see Switzerland."
|
|
|
|
"We've seen it, haven't we?"
|
|
|
|
"Only a slice of it; and it must be a long and tiresome ride to
|
|
Innsbruck."
|
|
|
|
Muriel dropped one boot and then the other and carried them outside the
|
|
door.
|
|
|
|
"Anyhow," she said, returning, "we have seen enough of Switzerland to
|
|
know what it's like, Jim. I'm awfully tired of it." She came to the bed
|
|
and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Do you mind, dear?" she added.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, no," he sighed. "I suppose not. Only let's go to sleep now: I am
|
|
about done up."
|
|
|
|
Muriel said nothing to that, but the next morning she assumed the plan
|
|
to be adopted, and they went to Innsbruck. They went by the way that
|
|
Franz von Klausen had described to her: by the narrow, mountain-guarded
|
|
Waldersee, the Castle Lichtenstein, the ruins of Gräphang and, on the
|
|
great rock that rises over Berschia, the pilgrim-church of St. Georgen.
|
|
|
|
Jim had tipped the guard to secure, at least for a time, the privacy of
|
|
their compartment, and the guard, a little fellow with flaring
|
|
moustaches and a uniform that was almost the uniform of an officer,
|
|
saluted gravely and promised seclusion. Thus, for some hours, they had
|
|
the place to themselves, but the train gradually filled, and at last
|
|
there entered a young Austrian merchant, who insisted upon giving them a
|
|
sense of his knowledge of English and American literature.
|
|
|
|
"All Austrians of culture read your Irving," he said; "also your Harte
|
|
and Twain and Do-_nel_li."
|
|
|
|
"Our what?" asked Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Please?"
|
|
|
|
"I didn't catch that last name."
|
|
|
|
"Donelli--Ignatius Donelli."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! Ignatius Donnelly--yes."
|
|
|
|
"Indeed, yes, sir; and you will find few that do not by the heart know
|
|
of Shakespeare: 'Friends, Romans, Countrymen, come listen to me!'"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian left the train just before they reached the
|
|
six-and-a-half-mile Arlberg Tunnel and, when they returned to daylight
|
|
after twenty minutes, Stainton asked his wife:
|
|
|
|
"Didn't that fellow remind you of von Klausen?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel moved uneasily. Von Klausen's name had not been mentioned more
|
|
than twice between them since they had left the _Friedrich Barbarossa_.
|
|
|
|
"Why, no," she answered.
|
|
|
|
"I thought they spoke alike, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"Did you? As I remember the Captain, his English was better."
|
|
|
|
Stainton reflected.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps it was," he admitted. "But, by the way, your Austrian seemed
|
|
rather to neglect us in Paris."
|
|
|
|
"_My_ Austrian? Why mine?"
|
|
|
|
"By right of discovery. You discovered him, didn't you?"
|
|
|
|
"You mean that he discovered me. I don't like Captain von Klausen."
|
|
|
|
He attempted to argue against her prejudice, and they came near to
|
|
quarrelling. In the end, Muriel protested with tears that she hated all
|
|
Austrians and all Austria, and that they must move on to Italy at once.
|
|
|
|
Stainton obtained only a day's respite in Innsbruck. They drove to the
|
|
Triumphal Gate at the extremity of the Maria-Theresien-Strasse and then
|
|
across to the scene of the Tyrolese battles at Berg Isel, returning by
|
|
way of the Stadthaus Platz, where the band was playing in the pale
|
|
spring sunshine and where, in rôles of gallants to the fashionable
|
|
ladies of the city, strolled, in uniforms of grey, of green, and of
|
|
light blue, scores of dapper, slim-waisted Austrian officers. But Muriel
|
|
said that the women were dowdy and their escorts effeminate; she
|
|
scorned the "Golden Roof" because the gilt was disappearing and the
|
|
copper showing through; she pronounced the Old Town, with its mediæval
|
|
roofed-streets, unwholesome; she would not stop for beer at the Goldene
|
|
Adler, where Hofer drank. That worn and tarnished Hofkirche, "the
|
|
Westminster of the Tyrol," with its grotesque statues and its empty tomb
|
|
of Maximilian, she dismissed as "a dirty barn."
|
|
|
|
Muriel was cold; she said that she wanted to find warm weather. Stainton
|
|
was tired; he said that he wanted to find a place where they could loaf.
|
|
So they left for Verona, feeling certain that they would there secure
|
|
these things--and "sunny Italy" welcomed them with a snowstorm.
|
|
|
|
Muriel was again in tears.
|
|
|
|
"It's no use," she sobbed; "we can't get what we want anywhere."
|
|
|
|
"Of course we can," sighed Stainton, "and the snowstorm will clear.
|
|
Cheer up, dear; we've only to look hard enough or wait a bit."
|
|
|
|
"But I'm tired of looking and waiting--we've been doing that ever since
|
|
we went away. Let's go back to Paris."
|
|
|
|
Back to Paris! She had taken him on this nerve-destroying journey; she
|
|
had headed for this place and swerved to that; she had exhausted them
|
|
both by her unaccountable whims and her switching resolutions--and now
|
|
she wanted to go back to Paris!
|
|
|
|
"You said that Paris didn't agree with you, dear," pleaded Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"I know; but now it will be spring there--real spring--and everyone says
|
|
that is the most beautiful time of the year in Paris."
|
|
|
|
"Yet the climate----"
|
|
|
|
"It will suit me in the spring; I know it will."
|
|
|
|
"Do you think"--Stainton put his hand upon hers--"do you think that you
|
|
can rest there: really rest?"
|
|
|
|
"I know I can. O, Jim, I try to like it here, but I can't speak
|
|
a word of Italian, and the French of these people is simply awful.
|
|
I did my best to be good in Innsbruck, but I don't know any German,
|
|
either, and so I hated that. Do you realise that we've been
|
|
hurrying--hurrying--hurrying, so that we are really worn to shreds?"
|
|
|
|
"I know it," said Stainton. He was so travel-wearied that he looked
|
|
sixty years old.
|
|
|
|
"I dare say that is what has made me so horrid," said Muriel: "that
|
|
pull, pull, pull at my nerves. I don't know _what's_ the matter with me;
|
|
but I'm quite sure that getting back to Paris will be like getting back
|
|
home."
|
|
|
|
This is how it came about that, two days later, they were once more
|
|
quartered at the Chatham.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XV
|
|
|
|
"NOT AT HOME"
|
|
|
|
|
|
"A gentleman to see madame."
|
|
|
|
The servant came into the sitting-room with a card. Jim was at the
|
|
barber's; he had done nothing but sleep since their return, twenty-four
|
|
hours earlier, and Muriel had urged him to "go down and get rubbed up"
|
|
at a shop where, as he had discovered during their first stay in Paris,
|
|
there was a French barber that did not get the lather up his patient's
|
|
nose. She was now, therefore, alone. She took the card: it was that of
|
|
Captain von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"I am not at home," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, madame," said the servant. He hesitated a moment and then added:
|
|
"This same gentleman called, I believe, on the afternoon of the day that
|
|
madame, last week, left. I chanced to be in the bureau at the time, and
|
|
it was there that he made his enquiries. The gentleman seemed
|
|
disappointed."
|
|
|
|
"I am not at home," repeated Muriel.
|
|
|
|
This time the servant received the phrase in silence. He bowed himself
|
|
out and left her seated, a touch of red burning in her pale and somewhat
|
|
wasted cheeks; but he had scarcely gone before the door of the
|
|
sitting-room again opened and Jim appeared. He had met von Klausen
|
|
downstairs and had brought him along.
|
|
|
|
In his frock-coat the Austrian looked taller and slimmer than ever, and
|
|
his face appeared to be even younger than when she had last seen it.
|
|
Aglow with health and warm with the pleasure of this meeting, it had an
|
|
air singularly boyish and innocent. The waxed blond moustache failed
|
|
utterly to lend it severity, and the blue eyes sparkled with youth. Had
|
|
Stainton been told of what Muriel had seen at L'Abbaye, he would have
|
|
protested that her eyes deceived her: it was incredible that this young
|
|
fellow, whose smile was so honest and whose blush was as ready as a
|
|
schoolgirl's, as ready as Muriel's own, could ever have frequented
|
|
Montmartre and danced there in public with a hired Spanish woman.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, Muriel was annoyed. She was annoyed lest they had fallen
|
|
in with the servant, which they had not done, and been told that she was
|
|
out. She was annoyed with Jim because he had brought to call upon her a
|
|
man that, only a few days before, she had told him she disliked. And she
|
|
was distinctly annoyed with von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
Yet the interview passed off pleasantly enough. Jim was never the man to
|
|
observe under a woman's conventional politeness, even when that
|
|
politeness was ominously intensified, the fires of her disapproval, and
|
|
von Klausen, if indeed he saw more than the husband, at least appeared
|
|
to see no more. He remained to tea.
|
|
|
|
"Why on earth did you bring _him_ here?" asked Muriel as soon as the
|
|
door had closed on the Austrian.
|
|
|
|
"Why, did you mind?"
|
|
|
|
"I told you that I didn't like him."
|
|
|
|
"I know, but you didn't seem to mind."
|
|
|
|
"I managed not to be rude to your guest, that's all. Jim, you must have
|
|
remembered that I said I didn't like him."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do remember," Stainton confessed; "but the fact is that I
|
|
brought him because I couldn't very well get out of bringing him. He was
|
|
so extremely glad to see me that I couldn't merely drop him in the
|
|
lobby."
|
|
|
|
"How did he know that we were here?"
|
|
|
|
"I told him on the boat that we were to stop here."
|
|
|
|
"But we have been and gone and returned since then."
|
|
|
|
"Then I suppose he found us out in the same way that Boussingault did:
|
|
in the hotel news of the _Daily Mail_."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you might have told him that I wasn't at home. That's what I told
|
|
the servant when his card was sent up."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Muriel, I might have tried that, and, as a matter of fact, I did
|
|
think of it; but then he would have hung on to me downstairs, and I knew
|
|
you would be lonely up here without me."
|
|
|
|
Muriel turned away to observe herself in a long mirror.
|
|
|
|
"You know I don't like him," she repeated.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, dear, but what was I to do. Besides, he is really a very good
|
|
fellow; I really can't see why you don't like him. What reason can you
|
|
have for your prejudice?"
|
|
|
|
"When a woman can give a reason for disliking a man," said Muriel, "she
|
|
hasn't any. If her dislike comes just because she has no reason there's
|
|
generally good ground for it."
|
|
|
|
"There's nothing wrong with von Klausen," said Jim. "Besides, he's a
|
|
mere boy."
|
|
|
|
"Please don't talk about his youth. He is at least five years older than
|
|
I am."
|
|
|
|
"Are you so very aged, my dear?"
|
|
|
|
"I am old enough, it appears, to be the wife of my young husband."
|
|
|
|
Stainton kissed her.
|
|
|
|
"Well said," he declared; "your young husband has been so weather-beaten
|
|
that he has been a pretty poor sort of spouse lately. We won't worry any
|
|
more about von Klausen."
|
|
|
|
Yet to worry about von Klausen they were forced. They seemed, during the
|
|
next ten days, to meet him everywhere, and he was always so polite that
|
|
his invitations could not be contumeliously refused. He took them to
|
|
the opera and to supper afterwards, and they, at last, had to ask him to
|
|
dine.
|
|
|
|
It was in the midst of this dinner at Les Fleurs that Stainton, begging
|
|
his guest's pardon, glanced at a letter that had been handed him as he
|
|
and Muriel that evening left the hotel.
|
|
|
|
"Hello," he said, "these French business-men are not so slow, after all.
|
|
They have drawn the final papers, and I am to sign them to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
He turned to Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"So," he said, "I shall have to break our agreement this once, Muriel,
|
|
and leave you alone for the morning. Will you forgive me?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel smiled.
|
|
|
|
"I'll try," she said.
|
|
|
|
"You won't be bored?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I'll be bored, of course, but I shall make the best of it."
|
|
|
|
"Permit me," interposed von Klausen, "to offer my services to Mrs.
|
|
Stainton."
|
|
|
|
"Your services?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"To occupy you during your husband's absence. It is unendurable to think
|
|
of you as wholly deserted--is it not, sir?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian was addressing Jim. Stainton and his wife exchanged a quick
|
|
glance. Jim was thinking of her expression of dislike for the Captain;
|
|
Muriel was annoyed because her husband had neglected to read his letter
|
|
before they joined von Klausen: she was in the mood for revenge.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, she'll make out," said Stainton. "Won't you, Muriel?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," replied Muriel. "It will be very dull."
|
|
|
|
"Then I renew my offer," said von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"But, Captain," protested Jim, apparently blind to everything but his
|
|
wife's prejudice, "we couldn't think of imposing on you."
|
|
|
|
"An imposition--Mr. Stainton! How an imposition? A privilege, I assure
|
|
you, sir."
|
|
|
|
"But your duties at the Embassy?"
|
|
|
|
"One can sacrifice much for one's friends, Mr. Stainton; as it
|
|
fortunately happens, I shall be all at liberty to-morrow morning. The
|
|
spring is come upon us early. It will, I am sure, be delightful weather.
|
|
If Mrs. Stainton will permit me the pleasure of driving her through the
|
|
Bois----"
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Muriel. "You are very kind. I'll go."
|
|
|
|
Stainton looked perplexedly at his wife.
|
|
|
|
He did not, however, again broach the matter until they were safely in
|
|
their own rooms at the hotel and were ready for bed.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you'll forgive me," he at last said.
|
|
|
|
"For what?"
|
|
|
|
"For getting you into that confounded engagement with young von
|
|
Klausen. It was stupid of me. I don't know how I ever blundered into
|
|
it."
|
|
|
|
"It's of no consequence. I dare say I can stand him for once."
|
|
|
|
"Of course you can, dear. Still, I know how you dislike the Captain, and
|
|
so I hope you'll pardon----"
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense," yawned Muriel. "Don't think about it any more. And do turn
|
|
out the light. I'm awfully sleepy."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XVI
|
|
|
|
IN THE BOIS
|
|
|
|
|
|
That little army of fashion which daily takes the air of the Bois rarely
|
|
begins its invasion through the Porte Dauphine before mid-afternoon, and
|
|
so the long, lofty avenues of what was once the Forêt de Rouvray and the
|
|
Parc de St. Ouen were as yet almost deserted. Through the city streets
|
|
and the Champs Elysées, Muriel and von Klausen had chatted in sporadic
|
|
commonplaces, but when their open carriage, driven by a stolid coachman
|
|
seated well ahead of his passengers, passed the Chinese Pavilions and
|
|
turned to the left into the wide Route de Suresnes, a strained silence
|
|
fell upon the pair. For fully ten minutes neither spoke, and then the
|
|
horses slackened their pace upon the Carrefour du Bout des Lacs.
|
|
|
|
"Shall we walk?" asked von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
Muriel hesitated.
|
|
|
|
"Why?" she enquired.
|
|
|
|
"It is beautiful, the promenade here," explained von Klausen. "It is the
|
|
most picturesque portion of the Bois, though none of the artificiality
|
|
of the Bois well compares with the nature of my own country, which you
|
|
have been good enough to visit."
|
|
|
|
His words roused her antagonism. She experienced a perverse impulse to
|
|
contradict him. She looked out at the Lac Inférieur, with its shaded
|
|
banks and its twin islands, on one of which stood a little restaurant in
|
|
imitation of a Swiss _chalet_. She was resolved to prefer this to his
|
|
Austrian Tyrol, if for no better reason than that he claimed the
|
|
Austrian Tyrol as his own.
|
|
|
|
"I like these woods better than your mountains," she declared.
|
|
|
|
"Better? But--why?"
|
|
|
|
"Your mountains are too lonely and fierce. These woods are pleasant and
|
|
inviting."
|
|
|
|
"Good. We shall then accept their invitation," said von Klausen,
|
|
smiling.
|
|
|
|
He leaped out and offered her his hand. Muriel, acknowledging herself
|
|
fairly caught, lightly touched his hand and descended. The Captain
|
|
turned to the driver.
|
|
|
|
"Meet us at the Cascade," he directed.
|
|
|
|
There was another moment of silence as they began their walk along the
|
|
undisturbed path. Then the Austrian turned to his companion.
|
|
|
|
"I regret," he said, "that you are angry with me."
|
|
|
|
Muriel raised her fine dark brows. "I am not angry with you."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, yes, madame; you have been angry with me since we again met after
|
|
your return from your visit to my country."
|
|
|
|
"You are quite mistaken." She almost convinced herself while she said
|
|
this, and her tone certainly should have carried conviction to her
|
|
companion. "I assure you that you are entirely mistaken. Indeed, I have
|
|
not been thinking much about you one way or the other."
|
|
|
|
"I am sorry," said von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"That I am angry? But I tell you that I am not angry."
|
|
|
|
"That you have been so angry as to banish me from your mind altogether."
|
|
|
|
"Did you bring me here to tell me this?" asked Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
She had scarcely expected him to acknowledge it. She glanced quickly at
|
|
his blond, boyish face and saw that it was absolutely serene.
|
|
|
|
"How dared you?" she gasped.
|
|
|
|
"I dared do no less," he answered. "I could no longer bear being, for a
|
|
reason unexplained, in the book of your displeasure. I had to know."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you shan't know."
|
|
|
|
"You judge me, dear lady, without giving the accused an opportunity to
|
|
plead in his own defence?"
|
|
|
|
"You are not accused--and you aren't judged."
|
|
|
|
"I wish," said von Klausen, slowly, "that I could believe you; but how
|
|
is that possible?"
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean to say that I am not telling you the truth?"
|
|
|
|
"I mean, dear Mrs. Stainton, that I have no choice. You leave me none.
|
|
Your words say one thing, but your tone, your manner, say another. To
|
|
accept your truth in one of your expressions is to deny your truth in
|
|
another of them."
|
|
|
|
Muriel bit her red under-lip.
|
|
|
|
"Let us go back," she said.
|
|
|
|
"I regret. The carriage has gone ahead."
|
|
|
|
They walked a few steps forward.
|
|
|
|
"You will, then, not explain?" he pleaded.
|
|
|
|
"I tell you there is nothing to explain. You are rude and you are
|
|
presumptuous."
|
|
|
|
"Yet you have changed since our first acquaintance."
|
|
|
|
"You speak as if you had known me for a long time, Captain."
|
|
|
|
"For a short time I hoped that I knew you well."
|
|
|
|
"What nonsense!"
|
|
|
|
"Well enough it at least really was, for us to share a small secret,
|
|
madame."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's eyes flashed.
|
|
|
|
"That is not fair!" she exclaimed. "You are referring to an incident
|
|
that you know it is ungallant for you to mention."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen bowed.
|
|
|
|
"Then I beg your pardon," he said; "but I insist that you forced me to
|
|
the reference."
|
|
|
|
"I did not."
|
|
|
|
"You required an explanation of my statement that we had once a close
|
|
acquaintanceship."
|
|
|
|
"I required nothing--and, anyway, you presumed upon the incident. It was
|
|
the merest trifle."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen fixed his steady blue eyes upon her.
|
|
|
|
"It was," he said, slowly, "a trifle that you chose not to confide to
|
|
your husband."
|
|
|
|
She drew back from him. Her gaze was hot with indignation; her dusky
|
|
cheeks were aflame.
|
|
|
|
"How low of you!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
But von Klausen only smiled his young, careless smile.
|
|
|
|
"To mention the truth?" he murmured.
|
|
|
|
"To bring up such a trifle--to trade on such a confidence--to make of an
|
|
impulsive action and of the consequences of that action--you know--I
|
|
told you at the time, and you must know--that I didn't mention the
|
|
circumstances to my husband merely because to mention it would have been
|
|
to betray your terror of the fog, and I thought that, as a soldier, you
|
|
would not want your terror known."
|
|
|
|
"Ah--so you did think of me, then?"
|
|
|
|
"I shall never think of you again, at any rate."
|
|
|
|
They were now half-way along the Lac Inférieur. Under the arching trees
|
|
in their new spring green and through the silence of the sunlit spring
|
|
morning, there came to them the music of the falling water from the
|
|
Carrefour des Cascades. Von Klausen leaned toward his unwilling
|
|
companion. His lithe figure trembled, his pink cheeks burned; in his
|
|
blue eyes there gleamed a fire that had been too long repressed.
|
|
|
|
"No!" he said, hoarsely. "You have thought of me since ever you touched
|
|
my hand, Muriel, and you shall think of me always--think of me deeply. I
|
|
cannot help what I say. I must say it. I must say it, and you must
|
|
listen. I tell you now, once and forever--I tell you----"
|
|
|
|
Muriel felt only a torrent of emotions that she could in no wise
|
|
understand. She was terribly angry; she was a little afraid; yet there
|
|
was a fascination in this spectacle of a strong man with passions wholly
|
|
unloosed--the first time that she had seen such a man so moved in spite
|
|
of all the hampering harness of convention--and she was undeniably
|
|
curious. Outraged, surprised, hurt, she nevertheless felt a certain
|
|
sensation of flattery in her leaping heart: the not unsatisfactory
|
|
knowledge that she had done this thing; that, in the last analysis, this
|
|
soldier trained to discipline, this alien educated to respect marriage
|
|
and to find beauty in the familiar types of his own land, had been
|
|
goaded beyond endurance by her own body and soul into a rebellion
|
|
against all his inherited traditions, into an overthrow of his inherent
|
|
opinions. And beyond this, more vital than this, there was something
|
|
else--something unguessed: the call of Youth to Youth, the demand of the
|
|
young for the young, careless of racial difference, regardless of
|
|
ancestral training, which, once unleashed, shatters every barrier of
|
|
elaborately conceived convention.
|
|
|
|
Education is, however, a force that must be reckoned with. Even at the
|
|
last, it will have its word.
|
|
|
|
"Stop!" said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen did not heed. He put out his hands to seize her.
|
|
|
|
"No," he declared; "I will not stop. If I stopped, I should think. I do
|
|
not care to think. Now I see only how beautiful you are; now I see only
|
|
a young girl bound to a husband in whom the tide of life runs low and
|
|
slowly; now----"
|
|
|
|
Yet that reference to Stainton, a reference so characteristically
|
|
Continental, proved the blow that shattered, at least for that time, the
|
|
Austrian's spell. It struck upon the armour of the American reverence
|
|
for humdrum domesticity, and the armour bent its edge.
|
|
|
|
Muriel recovered herself. The image of her husband as her husband was
|
|
evoked before her mental eye. Anger and horror rose uppermost in her
|
|
soul--and close under them, no doubt, a subtle and powerful
|
|
consciousness of shame at the only partly realised feelings of the
|
|
moment before.
|
|
|
|
She raised a trembling hand.
|
|
|
|
"I hate you!" she cried. "I hate you! Jim is as young and as strong as
|
|
ever you are, and if I were to tell him about this, he would--I believe
|
|
he would kill you."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen smiled in ridicule or in disregard of such a suggestion; but
|
|
the intense certainty of her tone had brought him to pause. His hands
|
|
fell to his sides, and he stood before her breathing heavily.
|
|
|
|
"I once told you that I might be a coward in some things or before some
|
|
phenomena of nature," he said, "and that may be; but I am afraid of no
|
|
man that lives."
|
|
|
|
"You are afraid of this thing which you are doing," she answered:
|
|
"afraid and ashamed."
|
|
|
|
"Not afraid."
|
|
|
|
"Ashamed, then." She softened, in spite of herself, as she looked at the
|
|
splendid passion in his young face. "Ashamed of treating me in this way.
|
|
Captain von Klausen, I love my husband."
|
|
|
|
It was simply said: so simply that it effected the desired result.
|
|
Afterward, when he came to think it all over, he was by no means so
|
|
deeply affected, but now, alone with her under the trees of that alley
|
|
in the Bois, tossed in the surging trough of his immediate emotions, he
|
|
did not, as he had said, care to think. He could, indeed, only feel, and
|
|
the literal meaning of her words, he seemed in a flash to feel, was
|
|
somehow inexplicably true.
|
|
|
|
Like a very echo to her words, he changed. His passion fell from him.
|
|
His blue eyes softened. His entire aspect changed. A moment more and he
|
|
was pleading forgiveness as earnestly as he had been pleading his love.
|
|
|
|
Oddly enough, she now listened favourably. For her part, Muriel could
|
|
not understand why she did it, and yet, before she realised what she was
|
|
doing, she found herself excusing his offence. Perhaps this was only the
|
|
result of that flattery, that pleasant knowledge of how her own beauty
|
|
had caused this outbreak, which she had experienced when the outbreak
|
|
began. Perhaps it was a softer and tenderer phrase in that Call of Youth
|
|
which she had heard a few minutes earlier. Whatever the reason, regard
|
|
his offence as she would, she could not regard his repentance unmoved.
|
|
|
|
"Don't; please don't say any more about it," she heard herself
|
|
murmuring. "We will forget it. I am sorry--very sorry. We will never
|
|
speak of it again--not to ourselves--and not to anybody else."
|
|
|
|
"But we shall be friends?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Wait," she said. They had reached the Cascade and the carriage was
|
|
before them. She let him help her into it and she noticed that his
|
|
manner in offering her his hand was not the manner in which his hand had
|
|
previously been offered. As the carriage started forward: "You will
|
|
never speak so to me again?" she asked, her eyes turned away toward a
|
|
herd of deer that was feeding in the forest upon her side of the road.
|
|
|
|
When one is young such promises are lightly made.
|
|
|
|
"Never," he vowed.
|
|
|
|
"And never," she kept it up, "refer in any way to anything about this
|
|
affair to me?"
|
|
|
|
"Never again, dear lady."
|
|
|
|
"You should even stop thinking of me," she almost faltered, "in--in that
|
|
way."
|
|
|
|
He pressed her hand ever so slightly.
|
|
|
|
"Ah," he said, "now you ask what my will cannot accomplish."
|
|
|
|
"But the thoughts are wrong."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I understand that now. You have made me understand it. But I
|
|
cannot sever from myself what has become a part of my mind; I can only
|
|
master my tongue. Yet you need not fear me, nor need I fear myself. The
|
|
good St. Augustine has said that we cannot control our desires, but he
|
|
has not neglected to remind us that we can and must control our actions.
|
|
I shall remember always his words."
|
|
|
|
She said nothing for awhile, but gradually he released her hand, and
|
|
their talk, though still freighted with feeling, fell, or seemed to them
|
|
to fall, upon trivial things.
|
|
|
|
"You did not stop in Marseilles?" he asked her, turning again to the
|
|
subject of her fevered trip with Jim.
|
|
|
|
"We didn't get anywhere near it. I--we were in a hurry to get back to
|
|
Paris. We--we thought it would be warmer in Paris."
|
|
|
|
"Warmer in Paris than Marseilles?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, warmer in Paris than in the snowstorms that met us when we
|
|
crossed the Austrian border into Italy and didn't stop until they had
|
|
driven us out of Italy. We didn't think about Marseilles, and so we came
|
|
right back here."
|
|
|
|
"You were not far from Marseilles. It is a pity that you did not see it.
|
|
It is one of the cities in France the most worth seeing. All the world
|
|
goes there: Chinamen, Moors, Oriental priests and Malay sailors. You sit
|
|
at a table before one of the cafés, of an evening in summer or of a
|
|
Sunday afternoon in winter, anywhere along the Cannebière or the rue
|
|
Noailles. I should much like to show you Marseilles sometime--you and
|
|
your husband."
|
|
|
|
"Sometime, perhaps," said Muriel, "we shall go there, Mr. Stainton and
|
|
I."
|
|
|
|
"But the best of Marseilles," pursued von Klausen, "is thirty miles and
|
|
more away: a place that tourists miss and that only a few devout persons
|
|
seem really to know. I mean the Sainte Baume."
|
|
|
|
She had never heard of it; and at once he began singing its praises.
|
|
|
|
"It is," he said, "a place that should be shrine for every soul that has
|
|
sinned the sins of the flesh. It is on a plateau--the particular point
|
|
that I mean--a plateau of precipitous mountains. Upon this plateau are
|
|
set more mountains, and one of these, the highest, a sheer cliff, rises
|
|
almost to the clouds. Nearly at its top, a precipice below and a
|
|
precipice above, there is a great cave converted into a chapel. That
|
|
cave is the grotto where the Sainte Marie Magdelène spent, in penance,
|
|
the last thirty years of her life."
|
|
|
|
He stopped, his last sentence ending in an awed whisper.
|
|
|
|
Muriel was not unmoved by his reverence.
|
|
|
|
"You have been there, then?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Long, long ago," he answered, "as a boy. But now, when my heart hungers
|
|
and my soul is tired, I dream of that spot--the silent chapel; the long,
|
|
fertile plateau, which seems a world away; the snow-capped mountains to
|
|
the northward; the faint tinkle of the distant sheep-bells from below,
|
|
and the memory of her that sinned and repented and was saved."
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|
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|
|
XVII
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|
|
|
THE CALL OF YOUTH
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|
|
|
That evening there came the beginning of the end.
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|
|
|
The next day was to be Mid-Lent, and the entire city throbbed with
|
|
preparation; the pagan city of Paris, which is ever eager to celebrate
|
|
any sort of fête of any sort of faith. All the gay thousands that had
|
|
not observed the fast panted for the feast, and that night, so von
|
|
Klausen had promised his two American friends, the _grand boulevard_
|
|
would be crowded from curb to curb and from the Porte St. Martin to the
|
|
Madelaine.
|
|
|
|
"You must really see it," he said, for he had returned to the hotel with
|
|
Muriel and had there met Stainton, who straightway invited him to
|
|
luncheon in celebration of the concluding formalities of the sale. "The
|
|
streets will be as deep as to the knee with confetti, and there will be
|
|
masks. It is one of the annual things worth while."
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|
|
|
He was eating a salad as unconcernedly as if his morning had been one of
|
|
the dull routine of the Embassy.
|
|
|
|
Muriel looked at him in surprise at his ease of manner. For her own
|
|
part, though she told herself religiously that she had done no wrong,
|
|
she was singularly ill at ease. Her greeting, when Stainton had met and
|
|
kissed her, was perfunctory, and, ever since, her bearing had been
|
|
preoccupied. She gave but half an ear to her husband's long enthusiasm
|
|
over the termination of his business with the syndicate, and now, as she
|
|
glanced from von Klausen to Jim, she saw that the latter was tired.
|
|
|
|
"You look tired," she said. Another would have said that he looked old.
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|
|
|
"Not at all," said Stainton. "I am feeling splendidly." His attention
|
|
had been caught and his curiosity excited by von Klausen's description
|
|
of the evening before the fête. If he felt somewhat worn from the now
|
|
unaccustomed strain of business, he was all the more ready to welcome
|
|
this chance for novel amusement.
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|
|
|
"Good," he went on to the Austrian. "We shall see it. Won't you be our
|
|
pilot, Captain?"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen glanced at Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"If," he said, "you will do me the honour--you and Mrs. Stainton--to
|
|
dine with me. We might early take a car across the river to the Foyot
|
|
and then run back in plenty of time to make the promenade of the
|
|
boulevards. That is to say," he added deferentially, but with no
|
|
alteration of expression, "if Mrs. Stainton is not too weary because of
|
|
her drive this morning?"
|
|
|
|
Jim, too, looked at Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"I am not tired," said she. Her tone was as conventional as the
|
|
Austrian's.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen turned to regard Stainton closely.
|
|
|
|
"But you, sir," he said, "are you sure that you are not tired? This
|
|
juggle with fortunes is what you call heroic."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all, thanks. There was nothing but a great deal of talk and the
|
|
signing of a few papers." Jim squared his broad shoulders, though the
|
|
movement started a yawn that he was barely able to stifle. "Not at all."
|
|
He began to resent this solicitude. "I am as fit as ever."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps," persisted von Klausen, "should you take a brief rest during
|
|
the remainder of the afternoon----"
|
|
|
|
"No, no." It was Muriel who interrupted. For a reason that she did not
|
|
stop to analyse she was suddenly unwilling either to be left alone with
|
|
her husband or to be deprived of his company. She did not yet wish to
|
|
face Jim in their own rooms, and she did not wish to face her own
|
|
thoughts. "No," she repeated, speaking rapidly and saying she scarcely
|
|
knew what. "The day has begun so splendidly that it would be a shame to
|
|
waste any of it by napping. I'm sure we should miss something glorious
|
|
if we napped. I'm not a bit tired, and Jim is looking fresher every
|
|
minute. You _are_ sure you're not tired, aren't you, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen shrugged his shoulders.
|
|
|
|
"As Mrs. Stainton wishes," he said, "We might pass the afternoon by
|
|
motoring to Versailles and back."
|
|
|
|
So they spent the afternoon in an automobile and came back to town in
|
|
time for dinner at the famous restaurant close by the Odéon and dined on
|
|
_croûte consommé_, _filet_ of cod, and _canard sauvage à la presse_.
|
|
After von Klausen had paid the bill, Stainton, who felt more tired than
|
|
he had expected to feel, ordered another bottle of burgundy.
|
|
|
|
When they crossed the river by the Pont de la Concorde and turned from
|
|
the rue Royale into the boulevards, the crowd that von Klausen had
|
|
predicted, already possessed the broad streets. It surged from
|
|
house-wall to house-wall; it shouted and danced and blew tin horns and
|
|
threw confetti; it stopped the crawling taxicabs and was altogether as
|
|
riotously happy as only a fête-day crowd in Paris can be.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen and his party dismissed their motor at the corner of the rue
|
|
Vignon and plunged afoot into the midst of the swaying mass of
|
|
merrymakers. Amid shrill whistles, loud laughter, and showers of
|
|
confetti that almost blinded them, they made their way nearly to the rue
|
|
Scribe. Then, suddenly, Muriel and von Klausen realised that Stainton
|
|
was lost.
|
|
|
|
They called, but their voices merged in the general clatter. They stood
|
|
on tiptoe and strained their eyes. They thought now that they saw him on
|
|
this side, and again they saw him on that; but, though they shouldered
|
|
their way, the Austrian vigorously making a path, hither and yon, and
|
|
though they knew that somewhere, probably only a few yards away,
|
|
Stainton was making corresponding efforts to discover their whereabouts,
|
|
he eluded them as if he had been a will-o'-the-wisp.
|
|
|
|
Tired at last by the long day and its emotions, jostled by the
|
|
fête-makers, and frightened by the disappearance of her husband, Muriel
|
|
began quietly to cry. The Austrian at once noticed.
|
|
|
|
"Do not alarm yourself, dear lady," he said--and, as he had to bend to
|
|
her to get the words to her ear among the tumult, his cheek brushed a
|
|
loose strand of her dark hair--"pray do not alarm yourself. We shall
|
|
find him soon, or he will await us when we return to your hotel."
|
|
|
|
"We can never find him here!" Muriel declared. She had been obliged, in
|
|
order not to lose her fellow-searcher, to cling to his arm, and her
|
|
fingers fastened as convulsively about it as the hands of a drowning man
|
|
grasp the floating log for rescue. "He'll know that, and I'm sure he'll
|
|
go at once to the hotel. Let's go there ourselves--at once--at once!
|
|
Call a cab."
|
|
|
|
Not a cab, however, was in sight, and this von Klausen explained to her,
|
|
bending to her ear.
|
|
|
|
"We must walk," he said. "It is not so far--if you are not too tired?"
|
|
|
|
"No, no, I'm not too tired--or I won't be if we can only hurry."
|
|
|
|
They started slowly, by necessity, on their way.
|
|
|
|
"But I am sorry," said von Klausen, "that you are afraid. You are
|
|
afraid--of me?"
|
|
|
|
His tone was hurt. She looked up at him impulsively and saw genuine
|
|
sorrow in his bright eyes. They were very young eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, no," she said, "not of you. I know you wouldn't----"
|
|
|
|
"Yet," he interrupted, "you were a little afraid of me, I think, this
|
|
morning."
|
|
|
|
"_Not afraid_--even then. And now--well, I remember the talk we had
|
|
afterward. I hope you haven't forgotten it."
|
|
|
|
Again his lips were near her neck.
|
|
|
|
"I shall never forget it," he vowed.
|
|
|
|
Something in his voice made her sure that he had not interpreted her
|
|
words as she had intended them to be interpreted. Nevertheless, she
|
|
dared not resume a subject that could be safe only while it was closed.
|
|
She said no more, and von Klausen was almost equally silent until they
|
|
had reached the hotel.
|
|
|
|
"Has Mr. Stainton returned?" asked Muriel of the first servant that they
|
|
met.
|
|
|
|
The servant thought not.
|
|
|
|
"Ask at the _bureau_."
|
|
|
|
Stainton had not yet come back.
|
|
|
|
"He will certainly follow us very shortly," said von Klausen. "It may be
|
|
better that we await him in your sitting-room."
|
|
|
|
Muriel had been expecting either that Stainton would have reached the
|
|
hotel before them or that her companion would leave her at the door. Now
|
|
a new difficulty presented itself. It is one of the curses of our minor
|
|
errors--perhaps the greatest--that they inspire us with the fear that
|
|
the persons about us may be suspecting us of worse offences. Muriel had
|
|
never before considered what the people of the hotel might think of her.
|
|
She was conscious, moreover, of having done nothing further than
|
|
withhold from her husband the narrative of what most women of the world
|
|
would consider nothing more than an amusing flirtation; yet now, with
|
|
the remembrance of that scene in the Bois vividly in her mind, she
|
|
became immediately certain that the servants regarded with lifted
|
|
eyebrows this wife who had returned without her husband at an hour not
|
|
precisely early? To dismiss von Klausen in the hallway would, her method
|
|
of logic twisted for her, confirm any suspicions that might have been
|
|
roused.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she agreed quietly, "we'll go upstairs." She turned to the
|
|
servant at the door. "When my husband comes in," she told him, "you will
|
|
say that Captain von Klausen and I are awaiting him in my--in the
|
|
sitting-room of the suite that my husband and I occupy."
|
|
|
|
For a reason that neither could have explained they did not speak on
|
|
their way to the room, and, after they had entered it, von Klausen
|
|
shutting the door behind them and switching on the electric light, this
|
|
silence continued until it became almost committal. Muriel laid off her
|
|
wraps and sank into a wide chair at some distance from the window. It
|
|
was she that was first to speak. She spoke, however, with an effort, and
|
|
she sought refuge in platitude.
|
|
|
|
"I am tired," she said; and then, as von Klausen did not reply, she
|
|
added: "Yes, after all, I find that I am very tired."
|
|
|
|
"It has been," said the Austrian, "a difficult day for you."
|
|
|
|
There was again silence. He stood before her, slim, erect, more boyish
|
|
than ever, his face, none the less, rather pale and set, and his eyes
|
|
narrowed.
|
|
|
|
"I wonder what can have happened to Jim," she at last managed to say.
|
|
|
|
"Only what has happened to us. He--I think he will be here soon."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was looking at her. She wished that he would not do that.
|
|
She wished that there would be an end to these interruptions of silence.
|
|
She wished devoutly that Jim would return.
|
|
|
|
"It--it is rather close here," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Do you think it close?" he responded. He did not take his narrowed eyes
|
|
from her. He did not move.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she answered. "Will you--will you be so good as to open the
|
|
window?"
|
|
|
|
He bowed as gravely as if she had required of him a mighty sacrifice,
|
|
and he turned to the window.
|
|
|
|
The long velvet curtains were pulled together, and he did not attempt to
|
|
draw them from the glass. Instead, he simply slipped his arm between
|
|
them. Then something went wrong with the knob that controls the bolt. He
|
|
shook the knob. His hand slipped and went through the pane. There was a
|
|
tinkle of falling glass.
|
|
|
|
Startled by the sound Muriel rose quickly to her feet.
|
|
|
|
"What is it?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
She took an involuntary step forward. Then she saw that von Klausen was
|
|
trying to conceal from her his right hand, red with blood.
|
|
|
|
"You are hurt?" she cried.
|
|
|
|
Her swarthy cheek whitened. There was a swift catch in her throat.
|
|
|
|
"It is nothing," he answered. "The window is open."
|
|
|
|
The window was indeed open. The curtain, however, remained drawn.
|
|
|
|
"But you are hurt!" repeated Muriel.
|
|
|
|
She put out her hand and seized his own with a slight gash across the
|
|
knuckles--a gash from which a little of the blood flowed over her white
|
|
fingers and marked them with a bright stain.
|
|
|
|
That handclasp finished what the spring sunshine of the morning had
|
|
begun. She stood there, swaying a little, her lithe body still immature;
|
|
the electric light from overhead falling directly upon her blue-black
|
|
hair and level brows; her damp red lips parted; her face white, but warm
|
|
and dusky, and her great dark eyes wide, half-terrified, seeing things
|
|
they had never seen before.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen's boyish face glowed. His blue gaze sparkled as if with
|
|
electric fire. His wounded hand closed about her fingers.
|
|
|
|
The circuit was complete.
|
|
|
|
"I love you!" he whispered, and he took her in his arms.
|
|
|
|
From somewhere, somewhere that seemed far, far away, Muriel heard a
|
|
voice that answered him and knew that it was her own voice:
|
|
|
|
"I love you!"
|
|
|
|
She clung to him; she held him fast. She knew. It was a knowledge beyond
|
|
reason. There was no need to reason why these things should be so, when
|
|
they were. She was aware only that in the kisses falling upon her lips,
|
|
in the hands holding her tight, in the heart pounding against her breast
|
|
there was a power that she missed in Stainton: a power that answered to
|
|
the force in her own true being.
|
|
|
|
"But--but it can't be! It can't be!" she sobbed.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen kissed her again: the long, long kiss of youth and love.
|
|
|
|
"But Jim----You don't know him. I can't hurt him. He is too good. He is
|
|
far, far too good for either of us."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen's reply was another kiss, but this time a light, an almost
|
|
merry kiss.
|
|
|
|
"He need never know," said the Austrian.
|
|
|
|
She leaped from his arms. She sprang a yard away. Her face went rigid.
|
|
|
|
"You--you----" she said. "What do you mean? I tell you that I could
|
|
never ask Jim to divorce me, and you say that he needn't know!"
|
|
|
|
It was the Austrian who was amazed now. He was frankly at sea.
|
|
|
|
"Divorce?" he echoed. "Who spoke of divorce?"
|
|
|
|
"Go!"
|
|
|
|
Muriel's face was crimson. She drew herself to her full height. She
|
|
pointed to the door. Her finger shook with anger; her eyes shone with
|
|
hate and shame.
|
|
|
|
"Go!"
|
|
|
|
"But what does this mean? I love you. You love me. Yet you tell me go."
|
|
|
|
"Love?" The word seemed to sicken her. "Love? You don't know what the
|
|
word means. You don't know! You don't know!" She passed her hand across
|
|
her face. "Oh, leave here!" she cried. "Leave here at once!"
|
|
|
|
"But, Muriel----"
|
|
|
|
"Go!" She moved to the call-button in the wall. "At once, or I'll ring
|
|
for the servants."
|
|
|
|
"Muriel----"
|
|
|
|
"Don't speak! Don't dare to say another word to me! If you speak again,
|
|
I'll ring."
|
|
|
|
He raised his arms once more and looked at her. What he observed gave
|
|
him no explanation and no comfort. His arms fell to his slim sides. He
|
|
shrugged his shoulders, picked up his hat and coat, and left the room.
|
|
|
|
Drawing back from his passing figure as if his touch were contamination,
|
|
Muriel waited until he had gone. She closed the door behind him; tried
|
|
to bolt it; remembered that it secured itself by a spring lock which
|
|
only a key could open from the hall; then, almost in a faint, fell into
|
|
the wide arm-chair where she had sat when she sent von Klausen to the
|
|
window.
|
|
|
|
Stainton opened the door fifteen minutes later. He was fatigued from his
|
|
day and haggard from his solitary confetti-beaten walk along the
|
|
boulevards. He saw her nearly recumbent before him, limp and pale.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!" he cried.
|
|
|
|
She opened her heavy eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Jim!"
|
|
|
|
He hurried to her, knelt beside her. He stroked her hair as a father
|
|
strokes the hair of his weary child.
|
|
|
|
"My poor little girl!" he said.
|
|
|
|
Had she thought at all coherently about his coming, she had not meant
|
|
to suffer his caresses until she had told him something of what had
|
|
occurred. But, before she found time to begin a narrative of the truth,
|
|
or the half truth, he began to pet her. She could not confess to him
|
|
while he did that.
|
|
|
|
"I thought you were lost," she said. "We looked, but couldn't find you
|
|
anywhere. I thought you might have been run over. I thought--I hardly
|
|
know what I thought."
|
|
|
|
"My dear little girl!" he murmured. He patted her left hand. He reached
|
|
for its fellow. "Why," he cried, "you've hurt yourself!"
|
|
|
|
Muriel started.
|
|
|
|
"No, no!" she said. "It's nothing. Truly, it's nothing. It's----" She
|
|
laughed shrilly. "I asked Captain von Klausen to open the window. It
|
|
stuck--the window, I mean. He put his hand through the glass and cut his
|
|
wrist. I bandaged it. I scratched myself when I picked up some of the
|
|
pieces from the floor."
|
|
|
|
She realised that she had gone too far to retreat. She had lied again to
|
|
her husband, and for no adequate reason. She had crossed the Rubicon of
|
|
marital ethics.
|
|
|
|
After that she was committed to silence. Every endeavour she made to
|
|
draw back involved her in a new ambush, brought her to a new maze of
|
|
deception. Truth became impossible.
|
|
|
|
She wanted to tell the truth. The more impossible it became, the more
|
|
bitterly she wanted to tell it. She hated von Klausen. She was sure that
|
|
she had never loved her husband as she loved him now. The fact that her
|
|
relations with the Austrian had begun and ended with a mere declaration
|
|
of love did not, in her eyes, lessen the sin; the fact that von Klausen
|
|
had misunderstood her attitude and had himself assumed an attitude far
|
|
below that which she had at first expected, increased her antipathy
|
|
against her lover and heightened her affection--call it love as she
|
|
would, it would now be no more than affection--for Jim. She wanted to
|
|
tell him, but every lapsing moment laid a new stone upon the wall that
|
|
barred her way.
|
|
|
|
She sat down in a chair before him and put her face in her hands.
|
|
|
|
"Jim," she said in a low voice, "I am not going to have a baby."
|
|
|
|
At first he did not understand her. He thought that the sight of blood
|
|
had shaken her nerves and that she was recurring to the distaste for
|
|
motherhood that she had expressed to him in Aiken.
|
|
|
|
"Don't worry, dearie," he said. "It can't be helped now, but there is
|
|
really no reason for you to worry."
|
|
|
|
She did not look up, but she shook her head.
|
|
|
|
"I am not," she repeated.
|
|
|
|
He came to her, stood before her, and patted a little patch of her
|
|
cheek, which her hands left bare.
|
|
|
|
"There, there," he said.
|
|
|
|
At his touch she broke into convulsive sobbing.
|
|
|
|
"You don't understand me," she sobbed. "It is over. It is all over."
|
|
|
|
He withdrew his hand quickly; he caught his breath.
|
|
|
|
"What--what----" he stammered.
|
|
|
|
"O, Jim!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he besought her, "tell me. What--how? When? You don't
|
|
mean----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes," she moaned, her hands still tight before her face.
|
|
|
|
Stainton stood erect. He clenched his fists in an effort to control
|
|
himself. He pleaded to his ears that they had not heard correctly; his
|
|
reason declared that, if his ears had heard aright, this was the fancy
|
|
of an ailing woman; but his frame trembled, and his voice shook as he
|
|
began again:
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean----"
|
|
|
|
"I do, I do. Oh, let me alone! Don't ask me any more!"
|
|
|
|
He had built for years upon his desire for physical immortality. Now the
|
|
edifice that he had reared was shattered, and Stainton shook with its
|
|
fall. He clutched the back of a frail chair that stood opposite
|
|
Muriel's. Perceptibly he swayed.
|
|
|
|
"When?" he whispered out of dry lips. His mouth worked; his iron-grey
|
|
brows fought their way to a meeting. "When?"
|
|
|
|
Her head sank lower in her hands.
|
|
|
|
"While you were at Lyons," she said. "The very day you left."
|
|
|
|
"Is that why you didn't go to the Boussingaults'?"
|
|
|
|
"I suppose so."
|
|
|
|
"You suppose?" Almost anger shot from his eyes. "Don't you know? You
|
|
must know! How did this happen?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel's head nearly rested on her knees; her shoulders twitched. Her
|
|
only reply was an inarticulate noise that seemed to tear itself from her
|
|
breast.
|
|
|
|
"Answer me!" he demanded.
|
|
|
|
She rose and stumbled a few steps toward him. She held out her arms. Her
|
|
face was like a sheet, and her eyes and mouth were like holes burnt into
|
|
a sheet.
|
|
|
|
"I fell," she mumbled, and her words seemed to strike him. "I went for a
|
|
drive. Coming back--here at the hotel--I fell from the cab--getting out.
|
|
I got up to the bedroom. And it happened. I sent for a doctor--_not_
|
|
Boussingault. He treated me, and I paid him. The nurse, too. They said
|
|
it was easy--They said I would be all right in a week.--I thought I
|
|
was--But I have suffered--O, Jim, Jim! Don't look like that! Don't,
|
|
please, think----"
|
|
|
|
She crashed to the floor at his feet.
|
|
|
|
Then Stainton realised something of the bodily agony that had been hers
|
|
while he was absent and of the mental agony that had driven her on their
|
|
mad dash through Switzerland to Austria and Italy, the mental agony
|
|
that lashed her now. He put aside, for the moment, his own suffering. He
|
|
stooped and took her up and held her in his arms and, pressing her head
|
|
against his breast and holding her sobbing body tight to his, tried to
|
|
murmur broken, unthought words of comfort.
|
|
|
|
Gradually, very gradually, she grew a little quieter.
|
|
|
|
"My dear, my dear," he said in a voice so hoarse that he scarcely knew
|
|
it for his own, "why did you keep torturing yourself? You should have
|
|
had rest, and instead----Why didn't you tell me? Why?"
|
|
|
|
"I was afraid," she said, simply.
|
|
|
|
"Dearie!" he cried. "Of me?"
|
|
|
|
Her words were a fresh stab.
|
|
|
|
"Yes. I knew how much you wanted----And I was afraid."
|
|
|
|
"You needn't have been. You see it now. You needn't have been. Tell me
|
|
what I can do for you, dear. Only tell me."
|
|
|
|
"Take me away from Paris!" sobbed Muriel. "I have come to hate the
|
|
place. I can't stand it another day. I can't stand it. Some other time,
|
|
perhaps----Only now--oh, take me away!"
|
|
|
|
"We'll go home, Muriel," he said. "We'll sail by the first boat. Back to
|
|
our own country. Back home."
|
|
|
|
But at that she shuddered.
|
|
|
|
"That would be worse," she said, rapidly. "It would be worse even than
|
|
Paris. Don't you see? We left there happy, expecting----Not there. No,
|
|
I couldn't bear that."
|
|
|
|
Stainton had put her on a chair and was kneeling beside her, stroking
|
|
her hair and wrists. His fingers touched the dried blood on her hand,
|
|
brown and horrible. But he kissed the blood.
|
|
|
|
She drew the hand from him.
|
|
|
|
"Your poor little hand!" said Jim. "Let me see the cut."
|
|
|
|
"It is--there is nothing to be seen. It was only a scratch. Let's talk
|
|
about getting away."
|
|
|
|
"I thought," said Stainton, "that you wanted to come back here when we
|
|
were in Italy."
|
|
|
|
"I did," she faltered. "It seemed there that it would be easier to tell
|
|
you here, where it happened. But to-night scared me."
|
|
|
|
"To-night? Why to-night, dearest? Not what has just happened? Not
|
|
anything I have said about it?"
|
|
|
|
"Not that. I don't know. Something before that----"
|
|
|
|
"Because you lost me in the crowd?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes: because I lost you. Because I lost you for that hour on the
|
|
boulevards. I don't like Paris any more. I'm afraid of Paris. I--I don't
|
|
like the confetti. Let's go away, Jim. Please."
|
|
|
|
He wished that she would go back to New York. He argued for them both
|
|
that the return would be wise. When something terrible has occurred in
|
|
unfamiliar surroundings, if one reverts to surroundings that are
|
|
familiar, it is often possible to forget the terror, or, if it must be
|
|
remembered, to remember it with pangs that are less acute than those
|
|
which one suffers on the scene of the occurrence.
|
|
|
|
New York, however, she would not hear of. Not yet, she said. They would
|
|
do better, now, to go to some place that would be different from Paris
|
|
and different from New York.
|
|
|
|
"We'll go to Marseilles," she said.
|
|
|
|
She spoke without much consideration. The name of Marseilles happened to
|
|
be lying at the top of the names of cities in the back of her mind. It
|
|
was merely readiest to hand. She did not care. She cared only that her
|
|
effort to tell the truth had ended in more falsehood.
|
|
|
|
The next morning they left for Marseilles.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XVIII
|
|
|
|
OUR LADY OF PROTECTION
|
|
|
|
|
|
For their first night in the new city they stopped at a minor hotel,
|
|
because they were tired out by their dusty ride and turned naturally to
|
|
the nearest resting-place that presented itself. The service, however,
|
|
was poor, and their room close and hot. Muriel slept badly; she turned
|
|
and tossed the whole night long. They decided to go, next day, to the
|
|
Grand Hôtel du Louvre et de la Paix; but they began the morning by
|
|
taking a drive along the Corniche, and there, on the white, curving road
|
|
beside the blue water, which seemed to them the bluest water they had
|
|
ever seen, they chanced upon a little villa that bore a sign announcing
|
|
that this miniature house was to be let, furnished.
|
|
|
|
"Let's take it," said Muriel.
|
|
|
|
She was captivated by the beauty of the view, and she was weary of
|
|
hotels.
|
|
|
|
"We may have only a short time in France," Jim cautioned her. "We may
|
|
want to be getting back home when--when all's well again."
|
|
|
|
"They will surely be willing to rent it for a short time if we are
|
|
willing to pay them a little more than they would ask on a long lease,"
|
|
Muriel serenely assured him.
|
|
|
|
Her prophecy proved correct, and they took the house. It was indeed a
|
|
small house, but comfortable, and its new occupants found nothing in it
|
|
to complain of. Muriel secured servants, and the Staintons moved in at
|
|
once.
|
|
|
|
They were satisfied. Stainton was still showing the effects of their
|
|
rush through Switzerland and Austria; he was showing, as a matter of
|
|
fact, his age. Rugged he was and well-kept, and not, as the life of
|
|
business-adventurers go, an old man; he was nevertheless not young for
|
|
the career of emotion. He needed quiet, he required routine. As for
|
|
Muriel, feverish because she was young indeed, and more feverish because
|
|
she was trying to forget many things that a perverse memory refused to
|
|
banish, she discovered that when she made concessions to domesticity, to
|
|
which she was, nevertheless, unused, she became the prey to her own
|
|
reflections and to her husband's too solicitous inquiry and care. It
|
|
annoyed her that, at night, he saw that the covers were well over her
|
|
shoulders; it annoyed her that he should tell her that beef would put
|
|
roses into her cheeks; she did not want the covers about her shoulders
|
|
and she did not like beef. Yet, though she still hungered for
|
|
excitement, even she was glad of an interval for recuperation, and she
|
|
was heartily sorry for Jim.
|
|
|
|
It was in one of these moments of her sorrow for him that he ventured to
|
|
press once more the question of their return to New York. They were
|
|
sitting on the balcony that opened from the first-floor windows of their
|
|
villa, and were looking over the blue bay.
|
|
|
|
"Don't you think," he asked, "that we might get back next month?"
|
|
|
|
His tone was almost plaintive. In a child or a woman she would have
|
|
thought it plaintive. She did not want to go back; she wanted never to
|
|
see New York again, but she was touched by his appeal.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps," she granted.
|
|
|
|
On the third morning of their stay, they drove into town and then out
|
|
the rue de Rome and across the rue Dragon to the foot of the great hill
|
|
on the top of which rises, from its ancient foundation, the modern
|
|
monstrosity called Notre Dame de la Garde. They ascended in the open
|
|
elevator the high cliff that fronts the rue Cherchell; then they climbed
|
|
the broken flights of steps that lead to the church on the dome of which
|
|
stands a gigantic, gilded figure of the Virgin.
|
|
|
|
The neo-Byzantine interior was cool and still, and they wandered for a
|
|
quarter of an hour about the place, looking at the crude pictures of
|
|
storm-tossed ships, the offerings of sailors saved from the clutches of
|
|
the sea by their prayers to Our Lady of Rescue; at the models of other
|
|
ships, similarly saved, suspended by cords from the golden ceiling; at
|
|
the little tiles, from floor to roof, bearing testimony to prayers
|
|
answered or to the making of other prayers.
|
|
|
|
"'We have prayed; we have waited; we have hoped,'" read Muriel, stopping
|
|
before a small oblong of marble. "I wonder what it was," she mused,
|
|
"that these people wanted."
|
|
|
|
Stainton had seated himself in a nearby chair.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," he said; "but I hope they got it at last."
|
|
|
|
His words, lightly spoken, seemed cruel to her.
|
|
|
|
"Let's go outside," she answered, "and look at the view."
|
|
|
|
"Why hurry?" complained her husband. "It's so cool and comfortable in
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
"There must be a breeze on the terrace. There must always be a breeze
|
|
out there."
|
|
|
|
"Well, run along. I'll follow in a few minutes. I want a rest."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's lips tightened.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," she said.
|
|
|
|
She went out to the walled walk that surrounds the church and strolled
|
|
to the side overlooking the bay.
|
|
|
|
Far below her, shimmering in the heat, stretched the city, like a
|
|
panting dog at rest. To the right, across the forest of minor shipping
|
|
in the _vieux port_, to the rue Clary and the Gare Maritime, the massed
|
|
houses of the Old Town stood grim and grey. Directly before her, from
|
|
the foot of the wall and for miles to the left, across the Cité Chabas
|
|
and the Quartier St. Lambert, to Roucas-Blanc and beyond to Rond Point,
|
|
where the Prado meets the sea, the hills fell away to the water in
|
|
terraces of cypress and olive trees and pomegranates in blossom. From
|
|
dark green to white the foliage waved in a pleasant breeze. The villas
|
|
on the slopes shone pink in the sun. The sky was of a most intense blue;
|
|
the lapping waves of the bay mirrored the sky, and in the midst of the
|
|
waves, among its rocky sister islands, rose the castellated strip of
|
|
land where towers the Château d'If.
|
|
|
|
She leaned upon the parapet and looked out to the distant horizon. The
|
|
breeze rose and rumpled those strands of her dark hair that had fallen
|
|
below her wide hat. She was thinking of another landscape--of a
|
|
landscape of which she had only heard:
|
|
|
|
"The silent chapel; the long, fertile plateau that seems a world away;
|
|
the snow-capped mountains to the northward; the faint tinkle of the
|
|
distant sheep-bells, and the memory of her that sinned and repented and
|
|
was saved."
|
|
|
|
"Muriel!"
|
|
|
|
It was von Klausen; but not the gay von Klausen that she had known and
|
|
had come to fear. His face was drawn; his eyes grave; his manner
|
|
serious.
|
|
|
|
"How did you come here?"
|
|
|
|
The question escaped her before she had time to fall back upon her
|
|
weapons of defence.
|
|
|
|
"It was very simple," he answered. "I called at your hotel the morning
|
|
after you departed--because I had to see you, whether you wished me or
|
|
not. They said you were gone. I asked for your forwarding address, and
|
|
they told me Marseilles. I came here; I searched the hotels; at your
|
|
hotel the porter told me that your trunks had been carted to a villa on
|
|
the Corniche. I went to the villa. The maid said that you had come
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
His explanation was long enough to give her a chance to regain her
|
|
poise.
|
|
|
|
"How dared you come?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Wait until you have heard what I have to say," he replied.
|
|
|
|
"There is nothing you can say that will change the situation."
|
|
|
|
"Hear me first, Muriel, and you will understand."
|
|
|
|
"I won't listen. I don't like you, and I won't listen!"
|
|
|
|
"You must." He came nearer to her.
|
|
|
|
"What do you suppose my husband will say when he finds you here?" she
|
|
demanded. "He is in the church now; he will be out in a moment."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose that he will say that he is glad to see me. I am sure that
|
|
you have told him nothing."
|
|
|
|
She eyed him menacingly.
|
|
|
|
"Are you so sure of that?"
|
|
|
|
"Absolutely," he replied. "But it makes no difference if you have told
|
|
him all that there is to tell, everything. I am not afraid."
|
|
|
|
"Then you do not think of what I may be afraid? You do not consider
|
|
me?--But of course you don't!"
|
|
|
|
"You have not told him. If you had, I should not say to you what I have
|
|
come to say--perhaps. I should be discreet, because I could not bear
|
|
that I should cause you annoyance----"
|
|
|
|
"You annoy me now."
|
|
|
|
"But if you have not told him----Well, what I have to say is my excuse.
|
|
If he is in the church, that is the more reason that I should make haste
|
|
in saying it."
|
|
|
|
He moved still nearer.
|
|
|
|
"I have told him," she said.
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Go away," said Muriel, but the menace had faded from her large eyes,
|
|
her tone had ceased to challenge and begun to plead.
|
|
|
|
"In one moment, if he does not come out and detain me, I shall go," said
|
|
von Klausen; "but now I must speak. I went to your hotel in Paris to
|
|
tell you this; I have travelled here to tell you. I will not be denied.
|
|
I have the right. It is only this, the thing that I am come to say: I
|
|
have learned the truth about myself and about our relations. Then I was
|
|
in the power of something so new that I did not understand it. Now I
|
|
know. I knew so soon as I left you that last evening, and the absence
|
|
from you has taught me over and over the same lesson. I love you. No, do
|
|
not draw away. When I told you in Paris that I loved you, I used that
|
|
word 'love' in the basest of its senses; but now--now, _ach_, I know I
|
|
love you truly; that I honour and adore you; that I hold you as sacred
|
|
as the holy angels. I came only to tell you this and put myself right in
|
|
your dear eyes; and you must see now that to love you thus truly is my
|
|
punishment--for I have once approached foully something holy to me, and
|
|
I know that, even could you care for me and forgive me, I should still
|
|
be hopeless."
|
|
|
|
She tried to doubt his sincerity, but she could not. Her hand, though it
|
|
rested on the warm parapet, shook as if she were trembling from the
|
|
cold.
|
|
|
|
"Hopeless?" she repeated.
|
|
|
|
"You are married," he answered. "Nothing can alter that, for in the eyes
|
|
of my religion nothing but death can separate you from your husband."
|
|
|
|
She remembered her teaching in the convent school.
|
|
|
|
"You came here to tell me this?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"I came to tell you this and to ask if, though it will change no fact,
|
|
you can forgive me for what I said in Paris."
|
|
|
|
She raised her eyes to answer. As she did so she saw Stainton turning
|
|
the corner of the promenade.
|
|
|
|
"Here he is!" she whispered. "You are right: I didn't tell him anything.
|
|
Wait. There will be another chance for us: I must have one word alone
|
|
with you before--before----"
|
|
|
|
"Before," concluded von Klausen, "we say good-bye for the rest of our
|
|
lives."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian had not been wrong; Stainton came up smiling.
|
|
|
|
"Think of you running into us down here!" he said. "I'm glad to see
|
|
you." He invited the Captain to dinner, and the Captain, after a furtive
|
|
glance at Muriel, accepted the invitation.
|
|
|
|
Nor was the dinner unsuccessful. Muriel, resolutely shutting her mind to
|
|
the thought of so soon losing von Klausen, yet salving her conscience
|
|
with the brief reflection that, as no positive wrong had been done, so
|
|
the future was to be clean even of temptation, was almost happy. The
|
|
Austrian, it is true, was somewhat silent; but Jim held himself
|
|
altogether at the best.
|
|
|
|
"The fact is," he explained to von Klausen, "I believe that I've been
|
|
homesick for a long time without knowing."
|
|
|
|
"And now," asked the Captain, looking about the pleasant little
|
|
dining-room, "you have a home, yes?"
|
|
|
|
"Not here," said Jim. "Not anywhere, in fact; but we soon shall have
|
|
one. I was not referring to this place. It is all right enough, but we
|
|
are here only for a few weeks. When I said 'home,' I meant the city that
|
|
both my wife and I regard as home. I meant New York."
|
|
|
|
"Then you are returning soon?"
|
|
|
|
"Three weeks from to-day."
|
|
|
|
Muriel looked at Jim.
|
|
|
|
"Is not this a sudden decision?" the guest inquired.
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. Muriel and I talked it over the other day and quite agreed,
|
|
didn't we, dear?"
|
|
|
|
She tried to say "yes," but, though her lips moved, she was mute. She
|
|
could only nod.
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Stainton," said von Klausen, looking narrowly at Muriel, "did not
|
|
mention it to me when we met to-day."
|
|
|
|
"How did that happen, dear?" asked Jim. His eyes met hers. He smiled
|
|
pleasantly. "You must have forgotten."
|
|
|
|
She wanted to ask him how he had taken her qualified assent to a
|
|
departure a month hence to be an expression of willingness to sail in
|
|
three weeks, but there seemed to be something underlying his obvious
|
|
manner that made her wish to hide her surprise. She wondered if there
|
|
were anything underlying his manner; she wondered if what troubled her
|
|
were not the sense of her deception of him.
|
|
|
|
"I forgot," she said.
|
|
|
|
"I booked by telephone just fifteen minutes ago while you were dressing,
|
|
my dear," said Stainton, "and when I was rude enough to leave the
|
|
Captain for a few minutes with his _dubonais_. We have an outside
|
|
stateroom on the upper deck of the _Prinzess Wilhelmina_, and we sail
|
|
from Genoa."
|
|
|
|
He fell to talking of what he had heard of the advantages of the
|
|
southern route for the return journey to America. Presently he produced
|
|
another surprise.
|
|
|
|
"By the way, Captain," he said, "do you know anything about the trains
|
|
to Lyons? I shall have to run up there to-morrow. I can't get back here
|
|
until the next day, but I want to start as early as possible."
|
|
|
|
This time Muriel felt herself forced to speak.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Jim," said she, "you never mentioned this to me."
|
|
|
|
"Didn't I?" he said. "That's curious. Or, no, come to think of it, it's
|
|
not curious, for the letter was waiting for me when we came in, and you
|
|
had to to run right off to dress, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Why must you go?"
|
|
|
|
"Those French purchasers again."
|
|
|
|
"I thought you were through with them."
|
|
|
|
"So did I, my dear; but, you see, they have just discovered that they
|
|
have bought the mine without the machinery, and they're angry because I
|
|
wrote to them and fixed a price on that."
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean that you tricked them?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly not. I mean only that they do not understand American ways of
|
|
doing business."
|
|
|
|
"You didn't say you had written them."
|
|
|
|
"My dear, when do I bore you with business affairs?" Stainton turned to
|
|
von Klausen. "I hate to leave the little girl alone," he said. "But
|
|
perhaps you will be good enough to look in on her here to-morrow evening
|
|
and see that she is not too much depressed."
|
|
|
|
Muriel tried to catch the Austrian's eye, but Jim's eye had immediately
|
|
shifted to her, and von Klausen promised. She wanted to ask him where he
|
|
was stopping, for she feared his coming to the house when she was alone
|
|
there; she wanted to see him, but she wanted to see him in the open, and
|
|
she wanted to get a note to him to tell him not to come to the house.
|
|
Yet she felt her fears growing; she was afraid to put her question, and
|
|
the Austrian left without naming his hotel.
|
|
|
|
When the door closed on him, Jim continued to talk much about nothing,
|
|
although he had lately been more than commonly silent in her company.
|
|
She bore it as long as she could. Then she asked:
|
|
|
|
"Why are you going away to-morrow?"
|
|
|
|
Jim was surprised.
|
|
|
|
"For what reason in the world but the one I have just given?"
|
|
|
|
"Then I think you might have told me when _he_ wasn't here."
|
|
|
|
"My dear, you gave me no chance."
|
|
|
|
"And you booked passage back, Jim?"
|
|
|
|
"Passage home, yes."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's mouth drooped.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I loathe New York!" she said.
|
|
|
|
He came to her and took both her hands. His grave eyes looked
|
|
searchingly into hers.
|
|
|
|
"Won't you think about me," he asked, "a little?"
|
|
|
|
"I know, Jim, but I never promised----"
|
|
|
|
"I have tried to deserve consideration, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
He had been kind. She reflected that he had been as kind as he knew how
|
|
to be. She felt ashamed of her selfishness, and she felt, too, that,
|
|
within a few hours, it would matter little to her whether she lived in
|
|
France or America.
|
|
|
|
"You're right," she said. "Forgive me. It's very late. You say you want
|
|
to leave early. We had better go to bed."
|
|
|
|
She thought it strange that he had not asked her to go with him to
|
|
Lyons, for she remembered his vow never to leave her alone again. Yet
|
|
she knew that, had he asked her to go with him, thus breaking his rule
|
|
never to bring her into touch with business, she would have regarded
|
|
that as a sign that he was suspicious. So she lay awake and was silent,
|
|
and in the morning accompanied him up the hill to the station and
|
|
watched him climb aboard his train.
|
|
|
|
She spent the entire day in a restless waiting for the night. She tried
|
|
to think of some way to get word to von Klausen and could think of none.
|
|
As the evening came and darkened, she became more and more afraid. When
|
|
nine o'clock followed eight, she grew afraid of something else: she grew
|
|
afraid that the Austrian would not keep his appointment. She welcomed
|
|
him in an almost hysterical manner when, at half-past nine, he was shown
|
|
into her drawing-room.
|
|
|
|
"You shouldn't," she said--"you shouldn't have come!"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was in the evening clothes of a civilian. He looked young
|
|
and handsome.
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Because of Jim."
|
|
|
|
"He invited me."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I know, but----" She clasped her fingers before her and knitted
|
|
her fingers.
|
|
|
|
"But what now?" pressed von Klausen. "See: you give no reason."
|
|
|
|
"He was queer. His manner--I don't know. Only I had not promised to go
|
|
home in three weeks."
|
|
|
|
"No?"
|
|
|
|
"He had said a month, and I had said 'Perhaps.'"
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen smiled.
|
|
|
|
"We men interpret as 'Yes' a lady's 'Perhaps.'"
|
|
|
|
"Not Jim. And he hadn't told me that he wrote to those people in Lyons
|
|
and asked them if they weren't going to buy the machinery."
|
|
|
|
"Why should he? In your country husbands do not tell their wives of
|
|
business. I know that; surely you should know it better."
|
|
|
|
"That business wasn't like him."
|
|
|
|
"It was very--shrewd. My dear Muriel, you must not thus vex yourself.
|
|
Why should I not be here? What wrong do I? Besides, the American married
|
|
man is not jealous. I have heard of one in Washington who found his wife
|
|
in his friend's arms and said only, 'Naughty, naughty! Flirting once
|
|
more!'"
|
|
|
|
She smiled at that and let him quiet her. When he reminded her that this
|
|
was to be their farewell she was quieted altogether. She sat on a sofa,
|
|
the only light, that of a distant lamp, softly enveloping her bare
|
|
shoulders and warm neck; and she allowed him to sit beside her there.
|
|
|
|
The room was small and panelled in white, with empty sconces along the
|
|
walls and parquet floor covered with oriental rugs. The door was half
|
|
hidden in shadow. Both felt that in this stage they were about to say
|
|
good-bye forever.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen, by the battlements of the promenade at Notre Dame de la
|
|
Garde, had spoken the truth. He was deeply in love. He was truly in love
|
|
for the first and last time in his life; and because animal passion had
|
|
asserted itself in Paris, and because that passion seemed to be the
|
|
characteristic of those butterfly affairs that had preceded this love
|
|
for Muriel, he now repudiated it, or at least repressed it, altogether.
|
|
This love was a holy thing to him, and so much of it as he could not
|
|
have with the sanction of holy authority he would not now attempt at
|
|
all to secure. The fact of his previous relations with other women, and
|
|
of his once having looked upon Muriel with the same eyes with which he
|
|
had looked upon those others, made it impossible for him now to do more
|
|
than kneel before her in an agony of renunciation and farewell as one
|
|
might kneel at the shrine of some virginal goddess before starting upon
|
|
a lifelong journey into the countries where that goddess is unknown.
|
|
|
|
They had talked for hours before he so much as touched her hand; yet
|
|
Muriel had her moments of frank rebellion.
|
|
|
|
"If you saw things as I do," she said, "you would see that what we now
|
|
think of as so right might end by being very wrong."
|
|
|
|
"Nothing," he answered, "can be wrong that religion has decreed to be
|
|
right."
|
|
|
|
"Not the ruin of our lives?"
|
|
|
|
"When the saving of our happiness involves the wreck of your
|
|
husband's----"
|
|
|
|
"Do I help him by giving you up and living on with him when I don't
|
|
honestly love him? Can't you see what I mean? I am fond of Jim; he is
|
|
good and kind and brave; but somehow--I don't know why: I don't know
|
|
why, but, oh, I can't love him! I even understand now that I never did
|
|
love him."
|
|
|
|
"Nevertheless, you are married to him."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; but is a divorce wrong when----"
|
|
|
|
"A divorce is always wrong."
|
|
|
|
"Your church didn't perform the marriage, why should it consider the
|
|
marriage a real one?"
|
|
|
|
"Because it has decreed that a true marriage according to the rite of
|
|
any faith is binding."
|
|
|
|
"But marriage is a contract."
|
|
|
|
"Marriage is a sacrament."
|
|
|
|
They would get so far--always darting down this byway and that of
|
|
casuistry, only to find that the ways were blind alleys ending against
|
|
the impregnable wall of arbitrary custom--and then she would come back
|
|
to his point of view. She would came back with tears, which made her
|
|
great eyes so lovely that he could only just restrain himself from
|
|
taking her into his arms; and she would brush away the tears and smile,
|
|
and, sitting apart, they would be joined in their high sorrow, made one
|
|
in a passion of abnegation.
|
|
|
|
But he could not leave the house. Each knew that when he did leave it
|
|
must be forever. They were agreed upon the impossibility of a continued
|
|
proximity, upon the mockery of a sentimental friendship, and they clung,
|
|
with weak tenacity to every slipping moment of this concluding
|
|
interview.
|
|
|
|
In one of their long pauses a clock struck twelve.
|
|
|
|
Muriel started.
|
|
|
|
"Twelve o'clock," said von Klausen. It was as if he spoke of a tolling
|
|
bell.
|
|
|
|
"Twelve o'clock," repeated Muriel stupidly.
|
|
|
|
They rose simultaneously and faced each other; two children caught in
|
|
that mesh of convention which men have devised to thwart the heart of
|
|
man.
|
|
|
|
Then a timid recollection that had long been rankling in Muriel's mind
|
|
rushed to her lips. She recalled her glimpse of von Klausen with the
|
|
Spanish dancer at L'Abbaye, and she told him of it.
|
|
|
|
"How could you?" she asked. "How could you?"
|
|
|
|
With a waxing tide of earnestness, he told her of his emotional life. He
|
|
told her of his escapades, of how lightly he had esteemed them when they
|
|
occurred and how heavily they bore upon him now. He repented as
|
|
passionately as he had sinned, and he vowed himself thenceforth to
|
|
chastity.
|
|
|
|
To Muriel, however, as he told it, all that he had done in the past
|
|
seemed of moment only in a manner other than that in which he regarded
|
|
it. She saw it, in one quick flash, as the natural deviations of a force
|
|
balked by unnatural laws. She saw that this man had learned where Jim
|
|
had remained ignorant. It even seemed to her well that dissipation had
|
|
once held him, since at this last, by freeing himself, he was proving
|
|
how much stronger was her hold on him.
|
|
|
|
"It doesn't matter," she said; "it doesn't matter." And she put out her
|
|
hand.
|
|
|
|
They had come at last, they felt, to the parting of their ways. A moment
|
|
more and they would go on, forever, apart.
|
|
|
|
He looked at her cheek, turned pale; at her wide eyes, stricken with
|
|
pain. As she had appeared to Stainton on that night at the Metropolitan
|
|
Opera House, so now she appeared to Stainton's successor, but richer,
|
|
fuller, mature: she was slim and soft, this woman he was losing; her
|
|
wonderful hair was as black as a thunder-cloud in May; she had high,
|
|
curved brows and eyes that were large and dark and tender; her lips were
|
|
damp, and she was warm and dusky and clothed in the light of the stars.
|
|
He took her hand and, at the touch, he gave a gasping cry and encircled
|
|
her in his arms.
|
|
|
|
It was then that Stainton entered the room.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XIX
|
|
|
|
HUSBAND AND WIFE
|
|
|
|
|
|
They sprang apart. They could not be certain that he had seen them. Each
|
|
was sure that their arms had loosed the moment when the handle of the
|
|
door had rattled. Each communicated this certainty to the other in one
|
|
glance. Each turned toward the husband.
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled heartily.
|
|
|
|
"Didn't expect me so soon?" he asked. He went to his wife and kissed
|
|
her. "Hello, Captain," he said, shaking the Austrian's cold hand. "I see
|
|
you have been good enough to come and cheer up Muriel as I asked you.
|
|
But, by Jove, you are rather a late stayer, aren't you? A custom of your
|
|
country, perhaps? Oh, no offence. I'm glad you are here."
|
|
|
|
"When----" began Muriel.
|
|
|
|
"I got as far as Montélimart when they caught me with one of their blue
|
|
telegrams, calmly postponing the meeting until next week. They will have
|
|
to pay for that postponement, Captain. Lucky thing I wired them what
|
|
train I was coming by, or I should have gone the last ninety-odd miles
|
|
and landed at Lyons before I heard that--I wasn't wanted."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen had keyed himself for heroics; Muriel had been on the verge
|
|
of fainting; but Stainton's tone reassured them both. The Austrian,
|
|
nevertheless, made for the door: to face disaster was one thing; to
|
|
court it quite another.
|
|
|
|
"I have indeed remained late," he said. "I hope that I have not bored
|
|
your good wife."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," answered Stainton, patting Muriel's pale cheek, "I am sure that my
|
|
good wife has been entertained. Haven't you, dear?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel opened her lips. She stammered, but she managed at last
|
|
distinctly to say:
|
|
|
|
"Captain von Klausen has been very kind."
|
|
|
|
"I thank you," said von Klausen, with his Continental bow.
|
|
|
|
"What's your hurry?" persisted Jim.
|
|
|
|
"You have said, sir, that it is late."
|
|
|
|
"Not so late that you can't stop a few minutes more."
|
|
|
|
The Captain thought otherwise. He really must go.
|
|
|
|
Stainton saw him to the front door, and then returned to the
|
|
drawing-room, where his wife stood just on the spot where he had left
|
|
her.
|
|
|
|
"Now," said the husband, quietly. "I think that it is time we had an
|
|
explanation."
|
|
|
|
She swayed a little, and he came forward to catch her; but at his
|
|
approach she flew into a storm of hot anger.
|
|
|
|
"Don't touch me!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
She had found herself at last. What she had been she looked at squarely,
|
|
what she was she would be entire. Stainton, in his habitual rôle of fond
|
|
protector, was a figure that she could feel gently towards, could even
|
|
pity; but Stainton as an accusing husband she now realised that she
|
|
could not but hate. She looked at him with a scorn that was not lessened
|
|
by the fact that, goading it from a deep recess in her heart, there
|
|
cringed an imp of fear. She knew that she hated him.
|
|
|
|
Jim stopped short.
|
|
|
|
"Don't touch me!" she repeated. "You believe I've deceived you. Well,
|
|
you never meant to go to Lyons. You have tricked me. You have lied to
|
|
me!"
|
|
|
|
Tradition always shows us the wronged husband in a towering rage, in the
|
|
throes of consuming indignation. Truth, however, with no respect for
|
|
either man or his traditions, occasionally assigns to the deceiving wife
|
|
the part of condemner. Constant though truth is, men are the slaves of
|
|
their traditions, and when they meet truth, and tradition is
|
|
contradicted, they are confused. In spite of the evidences of his
|
|
senses, it did not for that moment so much as occur to Stainton to
|
|
pursue the part of judge. Instead, he pulled a chair a little nearer to
|
|
her.
|
|
|
|
"Won't you sit down?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
Muriel sat down.
|
|
|
|
"Well," she demanded, "what have you to say for yourself?"
|
|
|
|
"About my trip to Lyons?"
|
|
|
|
"About this spying on me, about this surprising me in my own house."
|
|
|
|
"I have some right, I think, to come home."
|
|
|
|
"You meant to trap me. You would never have dared to talk about an
|
|
'explanation' while the Captain was here to defend me!"
|
|
|
|
"I did not mean to trap you. I meant only to confirm a theory that has
|
|
been in my mind for some time."
|
|
|
|
"So you have been suspecting me for some time and hiding your
|
|
suspicions! Why couldn't you be brave enough to come out with them at
|
|
the first?"
|
|
|
|
"Why couldn't you be brave enough to tell me of your love affair?"
|
|
|
|
"Love affair? There has been no love affair."
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose and nervously walked to the window. For a few moments he
|
|
stood with his back to her, his eyes on the moonlit sea.
|
|
|
|
"Have you noticed," he at last asked, without turning, "that I haven't
|
|
for some time mentioned your former distaste for the Captain's society?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel was silent.
|
|
|
|
"It seemed strange to me at the very beginning," Jim went on; "but I
|
|
tried hard to misinterpret it. I tried to shut my eyes to it. Then, that
|
|
night at L'Abbaye, I saw how you felt at the sight of him with the
|
|
Spanish dancer----"
|
|
|
|
Muriel had an instant of weakness. During that instant, the low flames
|
|
of the lamp, the empty sconces, the whole white-panelled room revolved,
|
|
with an upward motion, slowly around her.
|
|
|
|
"You saw that!"
|
|
|
|
"I saw that something inside the restaurant had upset you, and,
|
|
naturally, as you started down the stairs, I turned about to observe
|
|
what it was."
|
|
|
|
The wife fought for her self-control and won it.
|
|
|
|
"Deceit! Deceit even then!"
|
|
|
|
"Since you didn't seem to want the matter mentioned, I, of course, did
|
|
not mention it; but I understood why you wanted to leave Paris--and I
|
|
understood later why you wanted to go back."
|
|
|
|
He paused. She scorned to give him a reply.
|
|
|
|
"To be sure," he presently continued, "I tried, when I learned of your
|
|
illness, to believe that your illness was really the cause; but I did
|
|
not wholly believe what I tried to believe. After our trip to Italy,
|
|
too, there came the night of the fête. I could tell when von Klausen and
|
|
you came back from the Bois that morning that there was something in the
|
|
air, and I resolved to give you a fair chance. I was not lost on the
|
|
boulevards: I separated myself from you."
|
|
|
|
He was looking at her now. She sprang to her feet. Her features, once
|
|
beautiful, twisted themselves between amazement and anger.
|
|
|
|
"A fair chance!" she screamed. "You wanted to give me a fair chance?
|
|
You threw me into his arms--or tried to--and you call that a fair
|
|
chance?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton, worn and travel-stained, his face dark with coal-dust, which
|
|
clogged the furrows and accentuated them, appeared grey and old. Yet he
|
|
smiled quietly.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," he said. "While I was in the party, there was no danger;
|
|
your love for me--or failing your love, your moral strength--need not
|
|
assert itself against von Klausen so long as I was by. I absented myself
|
|
to give your love and your moral strength a fair chance."
|
|
|
|
"You coward!"
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. To have feared that you would fail me would have been to be
|
|
a coward. The only way to end the fear was to give it its full
|
|
opportunity. Otherwise the fear--a very small one then--would have
|
|
continued indefinitely: after von Klausen had dropped out of our lives,
|
|
his influence untried, I should have feared you with other men."
|
|
|
|
"You dare to say that!"
|
|
|
|
He was returning to the attitude of mind in which he had entered the
|
|
room. The novelty of her attack was, from its frequent thrusts, losing
|
|
its point.
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" he asked. "The surest thing about a fault of this kind is
|
|
that it depends wholly upon the person destined to commit it, not at all
|
|
upon any particular accomplice." He was quite calm again. "If," he went
|
|
on, "a woman compromises herself with X, at least after she has become
|
|
a wife, it is only a question of time before she will compromise herself
|
|
with Y and Z. If she wants to compromise herself with X and only
|
|
exterior circumstances interfere to prevent her, she is certain, sooner
|
|
or later, to commit the fault with Y or Z, either or both, when the Y
|
|
and Z happen to appear, as appear they infallibly must. Their
|
|
personality doesn't matter. Any Y, any Z, will serve. In fact, though
|
|
this fact does not concern me personally, I believe that, even if she
|
|
should free herself from her husband and marry an X with whom she has
|
|
managed to compromise herself, it is only a matter of a few months or a
|
|
few years before Y and Z will have their innings anyhow."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's fists were clenched at her sides. Her eyes shone and her cheeks
|
|
were crimson. Tight as her stays were, her white breast above the
|
|
low-cut black corsage rose and fell like white-capped waves seen in a
|
|
lightning-flash on a darkened sea.
|
|
|
|
"I shan't stay in this room and listen any longer to such things," she
|
|
declared.
|
|
|
|
He raised a steady hand.
|
|
|
|
"Only a moment more, please," he said.
|
|
|
|
Her reply was merely to stand there before him. He continued:
|
|
|
|
"So, as I say, I gave you that fair chance. You weren't equal to it. I
|
|
took you away from Paris again--the next day, wasn't it?--because you
|
|
wanted to go, but I knew that your wanting to go away from von Klausen
|
|
was a purely temporary mood of repentance. I had been patient, for I am
|
|
by nature a patient man; but I grew tired of waiting. When this Austrian
|
|
turned up here in Marseilles, as I was sure he would soon turn up, I
|
|
decided to make an end of it. Now"--he spoke as if he were concluding an
|
|
affair of business--"I have made that end."
|
|
|
|
"How have you made that end?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled wanly.
|
|
|
|
"My dear----" he said.
|
|
|
|
"Don't call me that."
|
|
|
|
"Then, Muriel. Muriel, don't try to bluff it out. You can't do it: you
|
|
are not naturally a liar, and the successful liar is born, not made."
|
|
|
|
"How have you made an end?"
|
|
|
|
"By coming back from Avignon; by never going farther away than Avignon."
|
|
|
|
"You mean that you think--that you dare to think that I--that the
|
|
Captain and--that we----"
|
|
|
|
"I don't think," said Stainton in a tone still restrained; "I know.
|
|
Given what your temperament has shown itself to be; given, too, the
|
|
preliminary circumstances; remembering that von Klausen came to this
|
|
house----"
|
|
|
|
"At your invitation!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes, he came at my invitation. But remembering that he remained
|
|
alone with you in this room until after midnight--I say, given all
|
|
these facts, and then adding the determining piece of evidence that I
|
|
wanted--the evidence of seeing you in his arms--no man in his senses
|
|
would for one moment doubt----"
|
|
|
|
"Don't say it! Don't you dare to say it!" She sprang back from him, her
|
|
disordered hair tossed blackly about her face, her deep eyes blazing.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he cried, "are you still going to say----"
|
|
|
|
"I am going to say that I hate you! I say that after to-night I will
|
|
never look at you again! I say I loathe you! I hate you! You liar! You
|
|
unclean-minded old man!"
|
|
|
|
He shook under her words as if they had been strange, unexpected blows.
|
|
|
|
At the sight of him, at the sound of that final phrase in her own
|
|
high-pitched voice, at the release of the thought of him that had been
|
|
so long festering in her mind--at first unguessed, then vehemently
|
|
denied, but always there and always becoming more and more
|
|
poisonous--the imp of fear leaped from her heart. Jim had once planned
|
|
to perform a process that he mentally called "making a woman of her": in
|
|
a way that he had never suspected, his plan had met success. Muriel had
|
|
achieved maturity.
|
|
|
|
"Now you listen to me," she commanded.
|
|
|
|
Her head was thrown back. Her figure was erect. She pointed to a chair.
|
|
|
|
Stainton moved to the chair, but did not seat himself. He gripped its
|
|
back and leaned across the back toward her.
|
|
|
|
So they stood, facing each other.
|
|
|
|
"This has been a 'good match' for me," she said. "It was a 'sensible
|
|
alliance.' I 'did well for myself.' And to think that hundreds and
|
|
hundreds of young girls are being carefully educated and brought up and
|
|
trained in schools or in their own homes to be fitted for and to
|
|
hope--actually to hope!--for this. 'A good match!' I was poor and young,
|
|
and I married a rich man older than myself; but I was never for one
|
|
minute your wife."
|
|
|
|
Stainton made a sally to recapture the situation.
|
|
|
|
"You were a good imitation," he said.
|
|
|
|
"Never," said she. "Not even that. What you wanted wasn't a wife,
|
|
anyhow. You loved your crooked theories so well that you were blind and
|
|
couldn't see that life was straight. You couldn't change what was real,
|
|
so you tried to bend what was ideal to make it meet the real, and what
|
|
was ideal snapped, and you didn't even know it snapped. Oh, I know what
|
|
you wanted. Not a wife. You wanted someone that was all at once an
|
|
admirer and a servant and a mistress. You didn't know it, but that was
|
|
it: somebody who'd be the three things for the wages of the third. And
|
|
me: I was something that my aunt's husband didn't want about the house,
|
|
and so I was shuffled off on you. Is that being your wife?"
|
|
|
|
"For a time you were a good imitation."
|
|
|
|
"I tried to be what you wanted me to be, if that is what you mean. I
|
|
tried. I took your word for what a wife was and what love was. But I
|
|
soon found out, and then all the time I was saying to myself that things
|
|
would change, that they were so bad they must change--and they
|
|
wouldn't."
|
|
|
|
"So you bluffed?" he asked with the hint of a sneer on his long upper
|
|
lip.
|
|
|
|
"I wanted to be honest." Her voice softened for the phrase. "Oh, don't
|
|
you remember, at the very start, how I _said_ I wanted to be honest? But
|
|
somehow all life, all the world, every littlest thing that happened,
|
|
seemed to join against being honest. If God wants you to be honest, why
|
|
does He make it so hard? The truth was that our being married was a lie,
|
|
and so all we did was lies and lies."
|
|
|
|
"You told me that I gave you all you wanted, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"All that you could give, but not the one thing you had promised to
|
|
give--not what I gave you--not youth." Her tone hardened again. "What
|
|
was the rest to that? If I told you that you gave me all I wanted, you
|
|
always _knew_ that _you_ had all _you_ wanted. Well, you had. But did
|
|
you ever think that a girl begins life with plans and dreams as much as
|
|
a man does? You sinned against me and against Nature. Oh, yes, and I
|
|
sinned too. I sinned ignorantly, but I sinned against Nature. I let
|
|
myself be married to a man three times my age--and this is Nature's
|
|
punishment. You taught me, you elaborately taught me, to be hungry, and
|
|
then you were scared and angry because you couldn't satisfy my hunger,
|
|
and because I _was_ hungry. We had only one thing in common, and that
|
|
was the thing that couldn't last. Well, then, I'll tell you now"--she
|
|
flashed it out at him--"what happened to me while you were selling the
|
|
mine was not an accident!"
|
|
|
|
This, even in his most suspicious moments, he had not foreseen. Anger
|
|
and horror struggled for him.
|
|
|
|
"Muriel," he cried, "you don't mean----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do, I do! For some reason, I don't know why, I had got that
|
|
girl's address, that girl in the box at the Bal Tabarin that night, and
|
|
I went to her, and she sent me to someone. I knew once and for all that
|
|
I didn't love you. I knew you were too old for it to be right for you to
|
|
have a child. I knew it was wrong for me to have a child when I didn't
|
|
want one and didn't know anything about taking care of one. Don't think
|
|
I didn't suffer. It wasn't all physical, either. Do you remember the
|
|
time you took me to buy baby-clothes? I thought I would go
|
|
crazy--_crazy_! But I knew I had the right to refuse to be a mother
|
|
against my will!"
|
|
|
|
He did not try to show her what all his training cried out against her
|
|
deed. He could not try to indicate the injury that she had most likely
|
|
done her health. He was too nearly stunned. He only asked:
|
|
|
|
"You loved him--then?"
|
|
|
|
"I didn't love you."
|
|
|
|
"Did you love him?"
|
|
|
|
"No. I thought I hated him. Later, when I knew I loved him, I even lied
|
|
to him and told him I didn't love him. I can't forgive myself that. But
|
|
then, when I did _that_ thing, I only knew what I've told you."
|
|
|
|
Stainton turned away. She saw him make an effort to straighten himself,
|
|
but his shoulders bent and his head drooped. He was shuffling toward the
|
|
door.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, Muriel was now ruthlessly honest.
|
|
|
|
"But I love him now," she said.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Stainton. His voice was dull.
|
|
|
|
"When you married me," said Muriel, "I knew nothing--nothing. I was no
|
|
more fit to be your wife than you, because you knew so much and so
|
|
little, were fit to be my husband."
|
|
|
|
Stainton half turned.
|
|
|
|
"And he?" Jim asked.
|
|
|
|
"He loves me: you only liked having me."
|
|
|
|
He turned slowly away again.
|
|
|
|
She thought that she heard him whisper:
|
|
|
|
"No child!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, yes," she said. "I have lost everything else; but I have lost
|
|
everything but a child. I only wish I could lose that, but I have a
|
|
baby, a little dead baby. It will never leave me: it's the little
|
|
ghost-baby of the woman I never had a chance to be."
|
|
|
|
He said nothing. He went down to the dining-room, merely for want of
|
|
going somewhere away from her. He sat there in the darkness until, an
|
|
hour later, he heard her shut and bolt the bedroom door. He took a
|
|
candle in his shaking hand and studied in a mirror his gaunt grey face.
|
|
One of the twin fears that had dominated his earlier life was still with
|
|
him. She was right; he was growing old.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XX
|
|
|
|
HUSBAND AND LOVER
|
|
|
|
|
|
At eight o'clock in the morning, when the warm sun beat upon the sea and
|
|
flooded the rooms of the villa, Stainton, still clad in his travelling
|
|
clothes, returned to the drawing-room and rang the bell for the maid.
|
|
|
|
"Go to Mrs. Stainton's room," he said to the maid, who spoke more or
|
|
less English, "and tell her that, as soon as she is ready to see me,
|
|
I----"
|
|
|
|
"But, monsieur----"
|
|
|
|
"You may add that I won't keep her fifteen minutes."
|
|
|
|
"But, monsieur, it is since an hour madame is gone out."
|
|
|
|
"Gone out?" Why had she gone so early and so silently? Had she not tried
|
|
to conceal her exit, he would have heard her. The natural suspicion
|
|
flashed through Stainton's mind. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
|
|
|
|
"Madame say you are not to be disturbed."
|
|
|
|
"Hum. I see. Did she leave any message?"
|
|
|
|
"But, yes; she leave this note here. She say the note to be given to
|
|
monsieur only when monsieur demanded her whereabout."
|
|
|
|
Stainton took the envelope that the girl handed to him and, as the maid
|
|
left the room, opened it. He was reading it through for the twentieth
|
|
time when the domestic reappeared.
|
|
|
|
"A gentleman to see monsieur," she said.
|
|
|
|
"What gentleman?" asked Stainton, though he guessed the answer to his
|
|
question.
|
|
|
|
The maid presented a card.
|
|
|
|
"Show Captain von Klausen up here," said Jim.
|
|
|
|
A moment later, husband and lover stood alone together.
|
|
|
|
"Good-morning," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
He held out his hand, and von Klausen, after a swift hesitation, took
|
|
it.
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's expression was disturbed. He was unshaven. It was obvious
|
|
that he, too, had passed a sleepless night. The sight seemed, somehow,
|
|
to restore his host's self-confidence.
|
|
|
|
"You will please to pardon for this early intrusion----" von Klausen
|
|
began.
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled.
|
|
|
|
"You are always so pleasant, Captain," he said, "that you never intrude.
|
|
Besides, the earlier the better. As it happens, I was just this moment
|
|
thinking of you."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen bowed. There was a brief pause, the Austrian's blue eyes
|
|
wandering about the room in an endeavour to escape Stainton's glance,
|
|
and Stainton's eyes fastened thoughtfully upon the Austrian.
|
|
|
|
"Well?" asked the husband.
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen coughed.
|
|
|
|
"Madame is--is----" he started, but stopped short.
|
|
|
|
"You asked for me. Did you expect to find her up at this time of day?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, no--no: certainly not. Pardon me. I forgot the hour."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you often forget the hour, don't you, Captain?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian braced himself. He raised his chin defiantly. He met the
|
|
issue directly.
|
|
|
|
"You refer," he asked, "to my late call of last evening--yes?"
|
|
|
|
"More or less. I am rather curious about that call."
|
|
|
|
"Sir, there is nothing about it to excite your curiosity. You asked me
|
|
to call. There is nothing of my call that you may not learn from your
|
|
wife."
|
|
|
|
"No doubt. Of course not; but it may be that I prefer to ask you."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen was in a corner. Anger he could have met with anger, but
|
|
here was something that he did not comprehend.
|
|
|
|
"I can answer no question," he said, stiffly, "that you have not asked
|
|
of Mrs. Stainton."
|
|
|
|
"How do you know that I haven't asked her?"
|
|
|
|
"I do not know that you have."
|
|
|
|
"You are sure of that?"
|
|
|
|
"What do you wish to say, Mr. Stainton?"
|
|
|
|
"I mean: are you sure that you haven't seen her since you left here last
|
|
night?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's face expressed a bewilderment that Stainton could not
|
|
mistrust.
|
|
|
|
"How is that possible?" inquired von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, of course!" Stainton, convinced, shrugged his shoulders. "However,
|
|
I do want to make a few inquiries of you."
|
|
|
|
"Then I prefer to wait until your wife descends, so that you may make
|
|
them in her presence."
|
|
|
|
Stainton still held in his left hand the letter that Muriel had
|
|
addressed to him. He tapped it upon the knuckles of his right hand.
|
|
|
|
"I am afraid," he said, "that I can't conveniently wait so long. Captain
|
|
von Klausen, are you in love with my wife?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian rose precipitately. His blond moustache bristled.
|
|
|
|
"Sir!" said he.
|
|
|
|
"I merely wanted to know."
|
|
|
|
"At your question I am amazed, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I really had a good reason for asking."
|
|
|
|
"In my country no reason suffices for such a question."
|
|
|
|
"Hum. Well, you see, neither my wife nor I belong to your country, and
|
|
you are not in your country now. However, there is no need for you to
|
|
get excited, Captain. I am sorry if I seem to have intruded on your
|
|
confidence with a lady; but, to tell you the truth, as my wife has
|
|
admitted that she is in love with you, I was not unnaturally somewhat
|
|
curious to discover whether you reciprocated her affection."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen's eyes protruded. This husband was, obviously, mad. He might
|
|
have been driven mad by his discovery. The discovery seemed a thing
|
|
accomplished. With a great in-taking of breath, the Austrian made
|
|
answer:
|
|
|
|
"You have loved your wife. Why should _I_ be ashamed to say that I love
|
|
her?"
|
|
|
|
If von Klausen expected an explosion, he was disappointed.
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Stainton, calmly, "that is one way of looking at it."
|
|
|
|
"Please?"
|
|
|
|
"Never mind. You say you love her?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
Stainton looked at him narrowly, from under heavy brows. He regularly
|
|
tapped his knuckles with the envelope.
|
|
|
|
"For a day?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Sir?"
|
|
|
|
"I mean: is this a world-without-end business so far as you are
|
|
concerned, or is it one of your little amusements by the way?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian clenched his teeth.
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean to insult me, sir?"
|
|
|
|
"I assure you that I mean nothing of the sort."
|
|
|
|
"Then you insult your wife!"
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. I am sorry that you should suppose I could think ill of
|
|
her."
|
|
|
|
"If you do not think ill of her, you have no right to ask such a
|
|
question as this which you have asked."
|
|
|
|
"It's not impossible that I should be a trifle interested, you know."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot understand, sir, how you can have the calmness----"
|
|
|
|
"Why not? She is my wife, you see. What I want to know is whether you
|
|
are genuinely, sincerely in love with her. You know what I mean. As
|
|
between man and man now: is this a for-ever-and-ever affair with you?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's bewilderment found vent in a long sigh.
|
|
|
|
"It is," said he.
|
|
|
|
"Good," said Stainton. He thrust his hands into his trousers' pockets
|
|
and bent forward. "If I let her get a divorce from me, will you marry
|
|
her?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Do you make a joke?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't consider this a joking matter, Captain. I ask you a frank
|
|
question and I want a frank answer."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen doubted his ears, but he replied:
|
|
|
|
"I would desire nothing better, but my faith forbids."
|
|
|
|
"You're sincere in that?"
|
|
|
|
"Absolutely."
|
|
|
|
"I mean about your faith, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Whatever else may be charged against me, sir, heresy or infidelity may
|
|
not be charged."
|
|
|
|
"Have a cigar," said Stainton.
|
|
|
|
He produced his cigar-case, gave the Austrian a cigar, held a steady
|
|
match while his guest secured a light, and then, with a cigar between
|
|
his teeth, began to walk rapidly up and down the room, puffing quietly,
|
|
his hands clasped behind his back.
|
|
|
|
"Look here," he said. "I am the kind of man that lives to look ahead and
|
|
prepare for all contingencies. I do not always succeed, but I see no
|
|
harm in trying. Well. When I first began to think about this thing, I
|
|
said I would be prepared for the worst, if the worst came. I remembered
|
|
your prejudices, and I had a fellow do some research work for me at the
|
|
Bibliothèque Nationale, and yesterday I spent some time in the seminary
|
|
library at Avignon. My dear fellow, you haven't got a leg to stand on."
|
|
|
|
"No leg?"
|
|
|
|
"Not in your objections to divorce and remarriage."
|
|
|
|
"The Church----"
|
|
|
|
"Was founded by, or at any rate pretends allegiance to, Jesus of
|
|
Nazareth. Now, Jesus of Nazareth is reported to have said--it's not
|
|
certain--something that may seem to bear out your theories; but that
|
|
something which may be twisted to your way was said just about two
|
|
thousand years ago to a small, outlying, semi-barbarous province. Are
|
|
you going to try to apply it to civilisation to-day?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian had philosophically seated himself in the chair against
|
|
which Jim had leaned the night before.
|
|
|
|
"I apply the Sermon on the Mount," said von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"Do you? I didn't think you did. But we'll pass that. Your faith bases
|
|
its argument on the interpretation of that text made by the Early
|
|
Church, and the Christian Fathers interpreted it in just about two dozen
|
|
different ways."
|
|
|
|
"So?" said von Klausen: he would humour this lunatic.
|
|
|
|
"In the first place, at the beginning of the Christian Era marriage in
|
|
Rome was a private partnership that the parties could dissolve by mutual
|
|
consent, or by one notifying the other, as in any other partnership;
|
|
that was part of Roman law, and for centuries neither the Church nor its
|
|
Fathers disputed that law. In all the history of the first phase of
|
|
Christianity in Rome you can't find one time when the whole Church
|
|
accepted the idea that marriage was indissoluble. Once or twice the
|
|
Church tried to get the law to require the Church's sanction before
|
|
decree of divorce would be legally valid, but that was not a denial of
|
|
divorce; it was a recognition and an endeavour to capture the control
|
|
and exploitation of divorces."
|
|
|
|
"That matters nothing," said von Klausen. "These things were determined
|
|
otherwise. With all my heart I wish not, but they were."
|
|
|
|
"How? The Church began by having nothing to do with marriages. Weddings
|
|
were not held in the churches and so of course marriage was not
|
|
considered a sacrament. I can give you chapter and verse for everything
|
|
I say. About the only early council that tried to interfere with the law
|
|
was the Council of 416, or some time near that. It tried to make Rome
|
|
abolish divorce, but no emperor listened to it till early in the ninth
|
|
century--Charlemagne, and he practised divorce himself. Only a little
|
|
earlier--I think it was in 870--the Church officially allowed
|
|
dissolution of marriage. In the Middle Ages the episcopal courts allowed
|
|
divorce and were supported by the popes."
|
|
|
|
"Did you not find that the Council of Trent declared marriage
|
|
indissoluble?"
|
|
|
|
"I expected to, but I didn't. All it said was that if anyone said the
|
|
Church erred in regarding marriage as indissoluble, _anathema sit_. The
|
|
Council of Trent seems to have been trying to patch up a peace with the
|
|
Eastern Church, which never did regard marriage as indissoluble." He
|
|
shook his head at von Klausen, smiling gravely, "You see, it won't do,"
|
|
he said.
|
|
|
|
"You have not quoted the Fathers," the Austrian almost mockingly said.
|
|
|
|
"I can. I took care of that. I can go back to St. Paul: he allowed
|
|
divorce when a husband and wife had religious differences. Chrysostom
|
|
tolerated divorce. So did Justin Martyr and Tertullian. Origen was so
|
|
afraid of women that he--he mutilated himself, but he allowed divorce
|
|
for certain causes, and when he condemned it in certain phases, he was
|
|
careful to say that he was 'debating' rather than affirming."
|
|
|
|
"St. Augustine is the authority in this matter."
|
|
|
|
"And no one other person ever said so many contradictory things about
|
|
it. Why, he thought his marriage was almost as wrong as his affairs
|
|
without marriage. He considered the social evil a necessity and wouldn't
|
|
condemn downright polygamy. In one place he admits divorce for adultery;
|
|
in another he merely 'doubts' if there is any other good cause, and in
|
|
the third he won't have it at all. When he finally gets down to
|
|
bed-rock, he says that the text on which the anti-divorce people take
|
|
their stand is so hazy that anybody is justified in making a mistake."
|
|
|
|
Stainton paused to relight his cigar.
|
|
|
|
"But you are talking of divorce," said von Klausen, "not of remarriage."
|
|
|
|
"Remarriage follows logically," Jim responded. "The one flows from the
|
|
other."
|
|
|
|
Von Klausen shrugged.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," persisted Jim. "Jerome declared against a second marriage after
|
|
the death of the first husband or wife, but your faith doesn't follow
|
|
him, does it? The Fathers differed in this just as they did in
|
|
everything else connected with the subject. The early bishops publicly
|
|
blessed the remarriage of at least one woman that had divorced her
|
|
husband on the ground of adultery. Epiphanius said that if a divorced
|
|
person remarried the Church would absolve him from blame. It was
|
|
weakness, he said, and I suppose it is, but the Church would tolerate
|
|
the weakness and wouldn't reject him from its rites or its salvation.
|
|
Origen didn't approve of remarriage, but he said that it was no more
|
|
than mere technical adultery, and the furthest that St. Augustine
|
|
himself could go was to have 'grave doubts' about it."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian, despite his nervousness, had shown an intellectual
|
|
interest in Stainton's exposition, but the interest was only
|
|
intellectual.
|
|
|
|
"It makes no matter what they said the Church should do," he insisted;
|
|
"it is what the Church has done. The Church has made marriage a
|
|
sacrament."
|
|
|
|
"Doesn't the Church rule that a marriage can be consummated only by an
|
|
act of the flesh?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"Then how can what is done by the flesh be a sacrament?"
|
|
|
|
"I do not know. I know that it is. The Church, whether early or late,
|
|
has spoken and it has said that marriage is a sacrament indissoluble
|
|
save by the death of the husband or the wife."
|
|
|
|
Stainton put down his cigar.
|
|
|
|
"Captain," he said, "you are in earnest, aren't you?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian flushed, but did not flinch.
|
|
|
|
"I am," said he.
|
|
|
|
"You love her?"
|
|
|
|
"I do."
|
|
|
|
"Truly?"
|
|
|
|
"With heart and soul, both."
|
|
|
|
"And there is no changing your faith?"
|
|
|
|
"No way."
|
|
|
|
"There isn't any short-cut, any quick trail over the mountain, any
|
|
bridle-path? A fellow cannot get an Indulgence--nothing of that sort?"
|
|
|
|
"I wish--I wish deeply that one might; but--no."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Jim with a little sigh, "I suppose not nowadays. I looked
|
|
that up, too. Public opinion is pretty strong, and as wrong as usual."
|
|
He seemed to shake the subject from him. "And," he ended, "now that I
|
|
have bored you with my cheap pedantry, I remember that I have been a bad
|
|
host: I have not asked you your errand."
|
|
|
|
What change was coming over the madman now?
|
|
|
|
"My errand?" asked von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"Exactly. You come here at about 9 A.M., and I take up your valuable
|
|
time with a discussion of ecclesiastical polity. What was it that you
|
|
wanted to see me about?"
|
|
|
|
What the Austrian had wanted he had long since learned. He had no sooner
|
|
left the villa on the night previous than he began to doubt whether his
|
|
supposition that Stainton was unsuspicious was quite so well founded as
|
|
he had at first imagined. He recalled a certain constraint in the
|
|
husband's deportment, and then he imagined other tokens that had not
|
|
been displayed. In the end, he decided to return to Muriel's home at the
|
|
earliest possible moment, discover whether there were any real danger
|
|
and, if there was, face its consequences. Now, however he learned that
|
|
Muriel had made some sort of confession to Stainton and that Stainton
|
|
had received that confession in a manner inexplicable to von Klausen.
|
|
Confronted with Jim's abrupt question, he did not know what to say, and
|
|
so he found himself saying:
|
|
|
|
"I should like to see Mrs. Stainton."
|
|
|
|
Stainton whistled.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you could," he answered. "Indeed, indeed, I wish you could, my
|
|
boy; but I am sorry to say that it is out of the question."
|
|
|
|
"You forbid it?" Von Klausen wished that these confounded Americans
|
|
could be brought to see the simplicity of settling complex difficulties
|
|
by the code of honour.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't say that I forbade it; I said it was out of the question. I
|
|
meant that it was out of the question."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian bent forward, hot anger in his eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Do you dare to deprive her of her liberty?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, my dear sir, she has taken her liberty. She has gone
|
|
away."
|
|
|
|
The thing seemed incredible to von Klausen:
|
|
|
|
"Away from Marseilles?"
|
|
|
|
Stainton nodded.
|
|
|
|
"That's it," he agreed.
|
|
|
|
There shot through von Klausen's mind the thought that this lunatic had
|
|
killed her. If so, he would surely kill the lunatic or be killed in the
|
|
attempt.
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe it," he said. "I believe that you are----"
|
|
|
|
"Captain von Klausen, I have learned all that I want to know about your
|
|
religious faith, and I am not in the slightest degree interested in the
|
|
question of your other beliefs. I say to you that my wife has gone away,
|
|
and I am afraid that, whether you like it or not, you are obliged, for
|
|
the present, to accept my word."
|
|
|
|
"I will not accept your word!"
|
|
|
|
"Pardon me, but I don't see what else you can very well do. Of course,
|
|
you might watch the house, but the Corniche gets very hot by midday."
|
|
|
|
"You joke. You can joke about such a thing!"
|
|
|
|
"I have never been so serious as I am now."
|
|
|
|
Stainton emphasised his words with a gesture of his left hand, in which
|
|
he held the now crumpled letter.
|
|
|
|
"That letter!" said von Klausen with sudden inspiration. "It is from
|
|
her!"
|
|
|
|
"It is."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you have intercepted a letter from her to me!"
|
|
|
|
"I am not in the habit of reading my wife's personal letters to other
|
|
people--when she writes any. This note is addressed to me, and it is
|
|
this note that tells me of her departure."
|
|
|
|
"It tells you where she is going?"
|
|
|
|
"It tells me that and more. It tells me that she is sorry for a wound
|
|
she thinks she has inflicted on my feelings, and she proposed to look
|
|
for rest in a certain secluded place."
|
|
|
|
The Austrian's blue eyes brightened.
|
|
|
|
"A secluded place?" he repeated, excitedly.
|
|
|
|
"Exactly; but I shall not tell you its name. I shall keep that to myself
|
|
until I have had another interview with my wife."
|
|
|
|
The Captain looked closely at Stainton.
|
|
|
|
"You mean to follow and chastise her?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"There," said Stainton, quietly, "I think we reach a point where the
|
|
matter becomes entirely my own affair."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XXI
|
|
|
|
THE MAN AND HIS GOD
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you look in your Baedeker's "Southern France," you will find, in very
|
|
small type, on page 479, the following brief paragraph:
|
|
|
|
"From Aubagne or Auriol to the Ste. Baume. From Aubagne an omnibus
|
|
(5 fr.) plies four times weekly via (3 M.) Gémenos to the (4 hrs.)
|
|
Hôtellerie (see below). From Auriol an omnibus (50 c.) plies to the
|
|
(5½ M.) St. Zacherie (Lion d'Or), whence we have still 8 M. of bad
|
|
road (carr. 10-20 fr.) to the Hôtellerie de la Ste. Baume, situated on
|
|
the plateau or Plan d'Aulps, 3/4 hr. below the grotto. The E. portion of
|
|
the plateau is occupied by a virgin *Forest with fine trees--The Ste.
|
|
Baume is, according to tradition, the grotto to which Mary Magdalen
|
|
retired to end her days; it has been transformed into a chapel and is
|
|
still a frequented pilgrim resort. It has given its name to the
|
|
mountains among which it lies."
|
|
|
|
So much for Baedeker. But Baedeker either does not know everything, or
|
|
else, like a really good traveller, he keeps to himself, lest tourists
|
|
spoil, some of the best things that he has seen. The plateau above which
|
|
hangs the cave that tradition describes as The Magdalen's last
|
|
residence is, in fact, as far out of the world as if its first tenant
|
|
had tried to climb as near to Heaven as she could before she quitted the
|
|
earth altogether, and so far as the wandering American is concerned, it
|
|
might quite as well be across the celestial border.
|
|
|
|
Yet it was to the Ste. Baume that Muriel had gone, and that she had
|
|
written to her husband. For Muriel, too, had passed a night of wracking
|
|
reflection, and the dim dawn had found her clear upon one resolve.
|
|
|
|
The anger that had been kindled by Stainton's accusation slowly died
|
|
away. She saw that, though he had assumed her love for von Klausen to
|
|
have carried her so much farther than she had indeed been carried, the
|
|
difference was only of degree; and, though she was far from condemning
|
|
herself, she knew that her husband would, even knowing all, condemn her
|
|
because he would judge her by the standards of that ancient fallacy
|
|
which sees wrong not in the deed but in the desire.
|
|
|
|
She was clear in her own mind as to the course that she had pursued, but
|
|
she was equally clear that Jim had acted as truly in conformance with
|
|
his lights as she had with hers. She recognised as she had never before
|
|
recognised those qualities in Jim which, she felt, should have at least
|
|
won from her a less recriminative tone than she had, the night before,
|
|
assumed toward him. She remembered the evening when she had promised
|
|
herself to him in that long ago and far away New York--how tall and
|
|
strong and fine he had seemed, how virile and yet how much the master,
|
|
of his fate and of himself as well. She remembered how he had crushed
|
|
her to his breast--how she had responded. She was changed. She was sure
|
|
that she was changed for the better. But what was it that had changed
|
|
her? That night in New York the miracle had happened. Were miracles of
|
|
such short life?
|
|
|
|
In an agony of endeavour she set herself to recalling his thousand
|
|
little kindnesses, and each one seemed to rise at her summons to point
|
|
its accusing finger at her anger. Why couldn't she have been gentler to
|
|
him? She was at a loss for the answer. She told herself that, in
|
|
character, he was unscalable heights above her. She was ashamed of her
|
|
anger, ashamed of her hatred; she regarded him, in her self-abasement,
|
|
as something even of a saint, yet love him she could not: the thought of
|
|
any physical contact with him made her shiver.
|
|
|
|
Franz von Klausen she knew that she did love and would always love. She
|
|
was married to Jim, and Franz himself said that marriage was a
|
|
sacrament. Where, then, was the occult power of the sacrament that it
|
|
could not hold her heart? She could not, in honesty, live with Jim as
|
|
his wife; according to von Klausen's standard, she could not in moral
|
|
rectitude live with von Klausen. What was left for her but to run away?
|
|
|
|
Thus it was that she arrived at her decision. In her primal impulses
|
|
she was still only a young animal that had been caught in the marriage
|
|
trap, that had torn herself free, and that now, wounded and bleeding,
|
|
wanted to hide and suffer alone.
|
|
|
|
She had some money in her purse--a thousand francs. She wrote the note
|
|
to Jim, who she felt certain would supply her with any more money that
|
|
she might require, gave it to the maid, left the house on her tiptoes
|
|
and, after a few hesitant enquiries of a lonely policeman, took the tram
|
|
to Aubagne. In Aubagne she hired a carriage for the Ste. Baume.
|
|
|
|
It was a marvellous drive under a sky of brilliant blue. Leaving behind
|
|
a fruitful valley dotted with prettily gardened, badly designed villas,
|
|
they climbed for four hours, into a tremendous sweep of rugged
|
|
mountains. Upward, until the vegetation lost its luxuriance and became
|
|
sparse, the carriage curved around and around peak set upon peak, only
|
|
thirty miles from the sea, yet nine hundred metres above it. Sometimes,
|
|
looking over the side, she could count five loops of the road beneath
|
|
her and as many more above, glistening yellow and deserted among the
|
|
gaunt outlines of rock. Not a house, not another wayfarer was in view,
|
|
only the billowing mountains that rose out of wild timberlands below to
|
|
gigantic cliffs bare of any growth, perpendicular combs, sheer
|
|
precipices miles long and nearly a thousand feet in height, which seemed
|
|
to bend and sway along the sky-edge. With a sudden curve that showed
|
|
even Marseilles and the ocean shimmering against the horizon, they
|
|
rounded the last height, descended but a few hundred feet upon a wide
|
|
plateau, the sides of which were partially wooded chasms, and came,
|
|
among a dozen scattered houses, to the Hôtellerie that had for many
|
|
years been a Dominican monastery and still maintained the simplicity of
|
|
its builders.
|
|
|
|
They ushered her through the tiled halls, past the chapel, and, amid
|
|
sacred images set in the whitewashed walls, to her room, the bare cell
|
|
of a priest, with the name of one of the early Fathers of the Church
|
|
inscribed above the door and a crucifix over the narrow iron bed.
|
|
|
|
A flood of memories from her convent days deluged her. Muriel sank upon
|
|
her knees and prayed.
|
|
|
|
She had not breakfasted, and she could eat no lunch. A half-hour after
|
|
her arrival she began her ascent to the Grotto of the Magdalen.
|
|
|
|
She walked across the plain, first through the fields and then through a
|
|
gradually mounting forest to which an axe had never been laid. The hill
|
|
became steeper and steeper; it grew into a mountain. The leaf-strewn
|
|
path turned, under ancient trees with interlacing branches, about giant
|
|
boulders covered with moss through the centuries that had gone by since
|
|
they were first flung there from the towering frost-loosened crags
|
|
above. She passed an old spring and a ruined shrine, and so she reached
|
|
at last the foot of a precipice as bare as her hand, a huge wall of
|
|
smooth rock that leaned far forward from the clouds as if it were about
|
|
to fall.
|
|
|
|
Under a crumbling gateway she passed and ascended the worn, canting
|
|
steps, which, by a series of sharply angular divergences, led a third of
|
|
the way up the face of the precipice. There, fronting a narrow, deserted
|
|
natural balcony, was the grotto.
|
|
|
|
Doors had been placed at the mouth of the great cave, but the doors were
|
|
open. Through them, far in the cool shadows, Muriel caught a glimpse of
|
|
the white altar and a sound of dripping water that fell from the
|
|
cavern's ceiling of living rock into the Holy Pool. She took an
|
|
irresolute step toward this strange chapel; then she turned toward the
|
|
low parapet and looked over the mountain side, over the primæval forest,
|
|
to the plateau far below and the peaks and ridges beyond. She remembered
|
|
von Klausen's words:
|
|
|
|
"The silent chapel; the long, fertile plain that seems a world away; the
|
|
snow-capped peaks to the northward; the faint tinkle of distant
|
|
sheep-bells, and the memory----"
|
|
|
|
She gave a little gasp: her husband was coming up the steps.
|
|
|
|
He mounted slowly. His back bent painfully to the climb. She could see
|
|
that he was breathing heavily and, as he raised his face to hers, she
|
|
noticed with a throb of self-accusation that it looked tired and old.
|
|
|
|
"You followed?"
|
|
|
|
He nodded briefly.
|
|
|
|
"Why did you follow me?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
It was fully a minute before he regained his breath; but when he spoke
|
|
he spoke calmly and gently.
|
|
|
|
"I came," he said, "to say some things that I should have said last
|
|
night."
|
|
|
|
Muriel braced herself against the parapet.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said she.
|
|
|
|
He understood her.
|
|
|
|
"I don't mean to scold you, dear," began Stainton.
|
|
|
|
His eyes regarded her wistfully, and she turned away, glancing first
|
|
over the precipice where, below them, the treetops tossed and then up,
|
|
far up, straight up, to the awful height of sheer cliff overhead where,
|
|
somewhere just beyond her sight, there nestled, she knew, the little
|
|
chapel of St. Pilon.
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Wait and you will understand."
|
|
|
|
She felt now that forgiveness was the one thing that she could not bear.
|
|
She was learning the most difficult of the moral lessons: that, hard as
|
|
punishment may be, there is nothing so terrible as pardon.
|
|
|
|
"I want you to be angry," she said. "You ought to be angry. I was angry
|
|
with you. That is what I am sorry for. It is all that I am sorry for,
|
|
but I am very, very sorry for it. I ought to love you--I promised to
|
|
love you; I thought I did love you, and if ever a man deserved to be
|
|
loved, you deserve it. And yet I don't love you. I can't! Oh, I'll come
|
|
back with you. I can't live with you as your wife, but I'll live with
|
|
you. If you want me to, we can start right away."
|
|
|
|
But Stainton would not yet hear of that.
|
|
|
|
"Wait," he said, "wait. Perhaps we can think of something. Perhaps
|
|
something will turn up." Jim put out a hand, a hand grown thin and
|
|
heavily veined since his marriage, and timidly patted her arm. "My poor
|
|
little girl!" he whispered. "My poor little child!"
|
|
|
|
"No, no!" she said, drawing away. "You must hate me!"
|
|
|
|
"I could never do that, Muriel."
|
|
|
|
"But you have to! Think of it: I don't love you--you, my husband--and I
|
|
do--I do----"
|
|
|
|
The words that had come so easily by night and in anger she dared not
|
|
utter here in calmness and by day. But Stainton supplied:
|
|
|
|
"You do love him?"
|
|
|
|
She bowed her dark head in assent.
|
|
|
|
"You are very sure?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"Very, very sure."
|
|
|
|
"So that it was not"--he hesitated as if he knew that he had no right to
|
|
put the question--"it was not merely passion?"
|
|
|
|
Muriel looked straight into his eyes.
|
|
|
|
"It was so far from merely passion," she answered, "that I have only
|
|
twice even so much as kissed him."
|
|
|
|
Stainton believed her now. His hand dropped from her arm. It seemed to
|
|
him that she would have hurt him less had her love for von Klausen been
|
|
baser.
|
|
|
|
There was a long pause.
|
|
|
|
"I see," said Stainton at last; and again: "I see."
|
|
|
|
He looked up at the high cliff bending far above them.
|
|
|
|
"And--von Klausen," he presently pursued--"you will let me ask it, won't
|
|
you? In a moment you will see that I have a good reason. You are sure
|
|
that his love for you is--is of the same sort that yours is for him?"
|
|
|
|
"Quite."
|
|
|
|
"Why?"
|
|
|
|
"On the same evidence."
|
|
|
|
"I see. I had begun to think so this morning. He came to see me."
|
|
|
|
She gave a short cry.
|
|
|
|
"Is he hurt?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Why should I hurt him? It is not his fault that he has hurt me. No, I
|
|
didn't hurt him; I merely came by train to Aubagne, and thence here by
|
|
motor-bus, to learn--what I have learned; and to say--what I am about to
|
|
say."
|
|
|
|
"You told him where I was?"
|
|
|
|
"I did not name the place. I simply said that you had gone away, leaving
|
|
a note in which you told me that you were bound for a certain secluded
|
|
spot to be alone."
|
|
|
|
Muriel clasped her white hands in distress.
|
|
|
|
"He will guess," she said. "He will guess from that. It was he told me
|
|
of this place--told me only the other day in much those words."
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled a little.
|
|
|
|
"I fancied he would guess," said he: "I intended that he should."
|
|
|
|
"But he will follow!"
|
|
|
|
"No doubt."
|
|
|
|
"You--you--why do you speak so?"
|
|
|
|
"He can't get a convenient train from Marseilles, so he will probably
|
|
come the whole way by motor."
|
|
|
|
"He will--he will! He will know that you have come----"
|
|
|
|
"I told him that I meant to."
|
|
|
|
"And he will think you mean to punish me----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"And--oh, don't you see?--he will come to protect me!"
|
|
|
|
The husband again put his hand timidly upon her arm.
|
|
|
|
"My dear," he said, "that is just what I wanted him to do--and what I
|
|
feared he might not do if I told him that I wanted it. The worst thing
|
|
about this whole tragedy is that it is unnecessary, a quite useless
|
|
tragedy. I've thought a great deal since you spoke out plainly to me,
|
|
and I am beginning to see--even I, who wish not to see it--that you were
|
|
not so far from right; for if man's stupidity hadn't devised for itself
|
|
a wholly crooked and muddled system for the conduct of his life, this
|
|
sort of now common catastrophe simply couldn't happen. Listen."
|
|
|
|
He plucked at her sleeve, and she turned her pale face toward him.
|
|
|
|
"All my life," he went on, "I've been afraid of two things: old age
|
|
and--something else. Perhaps I've learned better in the last few hours.
|
|
I've tried to learn that only the laws of man are horrible and bad and
|
|
that no natural law can be, if we face it for what it is, either
|
|
repellent or wrong. Before, I tried to be young. I trained myself to be
|
|
young. I denied my youth, believing that I could strengthen and prolong
|
|
it. I decided that youth was a state of mind--that it could be retained
|
|
by an effort of the will. I postponed love with that in mind, and I
|
|
postponed too long. Then, when I never doubted myself, I married you."
|
|
|
|
He released her arm.
|
|
|
|
"I married you," he continued; "and so, from sinning against myself, I
|
|
began to sin against another. Much that you said last night was right. I
|
|
have been selfish. I have robbed you of your youth, and I've given you
|
|
nothing in return but what a man might give to spoil a child or to
|
|
flatter a mistress. It wasn't a marriage. I see that now. The white heat
|
|
of passion fused together two pieces of greatly differing metals, but
|
|
when the passion cooled, the welding wouldn't hold: the joint snapped. I
|
|
thought I could hold you. Hold you--as if that could be love which must
|
|
be held! I took a low advantage of your ignorance of life. I came to
|
|
you, who knew nothing, and said: 'I will teach you'--but--I was giving
|
|
you the half-sunshine of the sunset when your just portion was the blaze
|
|
of noon. I was keeping youth from youth."
|
|
|
|
Her large eyes were tender with tears.
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean it?" she asked. "Do you really mean--all this?"
|
|
|
|
"As I never meant anything else in my life. I violated nature and must
|
|
pay the price."
|
|
|
|
Throughout all time and lands, he now felt, youth calls to youth,
|
|
generation to generation, and not all the laws upon the statute-books of
|
|
all the world can silence it.
|
|
|
|
"I've thought that you were ignorant," he was saying; "perhaps you were
|
|
wiser than I. You are not breaking the law. You are fulfilling it. I was
|
|
the one that was ignorant. I was the one that was wrong."
|
|
|
|
Out of sheer generosity, though her brain and heart cried assent to his
|
|
every word, she tried to protest. But the youth in her heart clamoured
|
|
that he was speaking truth.
|
|
|
|
"And so," he concluded, "now that I am sure that you truly love each
|
|
other, I mean to step aside."
|
|
|
|
She looked at him blankly.
|
|
|
|
"Step aside?" she repeated.
|
|
|
|
"I mean to make what reparation is possible: I must."
|
|
|
|
Muriel's face quivered.
|
|
|
|
"So that I--that we----" she started.
|
|
|
|
"So that you and von Klausen may marry."
|
|
|
|
"But we can't anyhow! Oh--that's the horror of it! That's why the thing
|
|
can never be mended. In his religion there is no divorce. Marriage is a
|
|
sacrament. Final. It lasts until one or the other dies."
|
|
|
|
Stainton frowned. It was a slight frown, rather of annoyance than of
|
|
pain.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he said. "I gave all my earlier life for my superstition, and
|
|
now----"
|
|
|
|
"You see," she was running on, "in his faith, a marriage----"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes," he interrupted. "I know. They are flat-footed on that. I am
|
|
only wondering----"
|
|
|
|
His speech dropped from the vocabulary of emotion to the trivial phrases
|
|
of the colloquial.
|
|
|
|
"Look there!" he broke off.
|
|
|
|
Her eyes followed his pointing finger: in a little gap through the
|
|
tree-tops they could see the path below, and up the path a figure was
|
|
bounding: fevered, lithe, young.
|
|
|
|
Muriel clutched the parapet.
|
|
|
|
"It's Franz!" she said.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it's Franz," said Jim. "Just as I began talking to you, I thought
|
|
I saw a motor scorching down the road toward the Hôtellerie. He must
|
|
have left the car there and come right on."
|
|
|
|
"I know it is he. It is." She turned to her husband. "And, O, Jim, what
|
|
shall I do?"
|
|
|
|
"See him, of course."
|
|
|
|
"Why? Why should we fight it all over again? There's no way out: we'll
|
|
just have to go on forever. There's nothing to do. Why should I fight it
|
|
all over again? I'm tired--I'm so tired!"
|
|
|
|
Stainton looked at her long and earnestly. He did not speak, did not
|
|
take her hand. He did nothing, he believed, that she could afterward
|
|
translate into a good-bye.
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense!" he said, shortly. "You see him and try to bring him around
|
|
to looking at marriage as the mere contract that the law has made it."
|
|
|
|
"There is no chance. The other view is part of his life--you've said so
|
|
yourself."
|
|
|
|
Stainton smiled.
|
|
|
|
"Anyhow," he said, "there's no harm in trying. See him and make one more
|
|
appeal. I'll cut around here and have a try at climbing to the top of
|
|
the cliff. There's a path by the back way. The hotel proprietor spoke
|
|
enough English to tell me there was a small chapel on the top of this
|
|
cliff over our heads, and a wonderful view, from Toulon to
|
|
Marseilles--Try it, Muriel--for my sake. I want to pay up. I don't
|
|
pretend to be happy, but I want to pay up. So long! Good luck. And never
|
|
say die!"
|
|
|
|
He rattled out his careless words so swiftly that she could not answer.
|
|
He scarcely reached their end before he raised his hat and darted down
|
|
the steps.
|
|
|
|
She saw him disappear, and waited. She waited until von Klausen's young
|
|
head and shoulders came above the steps.
|
|
|
|
"Franz!" she cried.
|
|
|
|
The Austrian hurried to her.
|
|
|
|
Stainton did not look back at them. He turned up the path that led
|
|
around the rock, moving with the elastic step of a schoolboy going from
|
|
his classroom to the playground. He almost ran up the wooded steep
|
|
behind the cliff, and he was conscious of a familiar pride in the ease
|
|
with which he made his way over the rapidly increasing angle of the
|
|
mountainside. When he passed the timber line and came to the walls of
|
|
bare rock along which the narrowed path wound more and more dangerously,
|
|
his breath was shorter than it used to be in his climbing days in the
|
|
Rockies, yet he moved swiftly. He ran along ledges that would make most
|
|
men's heads swim, spurned stones that slipped beneath him, leaped from
|
|
towering rocks to rocks that towered over hidden descents. He was driven
|
|
by a mighty exaltation, by a stinging delight in the approach of
|
|
finality. He was drunk with the most potent of sensations: the
|
|
sensation that nothing could matter, that the worst to befall him was
|
|
the measure of his desire. He was about to make the great sacrifice. He
|
|
was about to fling himself from the cliff at the beetling chapel of St.
|
|
Pilon. By ending his life in such a way that Muriel would suppose that
|
|
end an accident, he was, for the woman he loved, about to court the
|
|
death that he had all his life feared.
|
|
|
|
He reached the mountain's bald top, and there flamed about him the
|
|
panorama of the Chaîne de la Sainte Baume from Toulon to Marseilles,
|
|
from the mountains to the sea. It was blue, intensely blue, under a full
|
|
sun and in an air vibrant with health. The sky was a vivid blue,
|
|
cloudless, the distant water was a blue that danced before his eyes. The
|
|
summits of stone that fell away at his feet among cliffs and precipices
|
|
were grey-blue. The deep valleys' greens were bluish green, and here and
|
|
there, where he could barely distinguish the cottage of a forester or
|
|
the hut of a charcoal-burner, there rose, incapable of attaining
|
|
half-way to the awful height on which he stood, lazy wreaths of a smoke
|
|
that was blue.
|
|
|
|
He was alone. Ahead of him and ten feet above stood the chapel: a single
|
|
room, its third side open to the air, its walls seeming to totter on the
|
|
edge of a tremendous nothingness. He walked resolutely around the
|
|
chapel; found that, in reality, there was a ledge a yard wide between it
|
|
and the drop; looked over and then instinctively fell on his knees and
|
|
so upon his belly, thrusting his head over the awful descent.
|
|
|
|
He saw below him--far, far below him, past perpendicular walls of blue
|
|
rock--the narrow projection that was the parapet before the grotto of
|
|
the Magdalen. He saw two figures beside the parapet. He saw, beyond the
|
|
parapet, the precipice continue to the primæval forest, the trees of
|
|
which presented a blurred mass of lancelike points to receive him.
|
|
Beyond them he could not see. He grew dizzy; his stomach writhed.
|
|
|
|
He shut his eyes, but he saw more clearly with his eyes shut than open.
|
|
He saw his father drawing the razor across his throat, and that father
|
|
after the razor had been drawn across his throat. He saw his own body
|
|
below there, this trembling body that he had so cared for, so believed
|
|
in, impaled, broken, torn, crushed, an unrecognisable, pulpy inhuman
|
|
thing....
|
|
|
|
Like some gigantic, foul-breathed bird of prey, the old fear swooped
|
|
down upon him and rolled him over and over away from the edge, around
|
|
the chapel, his face buried in the loose stones, his flanks heaving.
|
|
|
|
He lay there unable to rise, but able at last to reason. Reason pointed
|
|
unflinchingly to self-destruction. He tried agonisedly to find one
|
|
argument against it and could find none. He tried to aid reason, tried
|
|
to reform the panic-mad ranks of his courage. He thought how wonderful
|
|
was this thing which he had planned to do for Muriel, but with that
|
|
thought his thoughts lost all order. He recalled how happy he had been
|
|
with his wife before they came abroad, and at the same time realised
|
|
that they could never be happy together again. He thought about the
|
|
child that was to have been, and immediately remembered that it was at
|
|
the first mention of the child that Muriel's love for him began to
|
|
lessen. He made one more effort to lash himself toward fortitude. His
|
|
father was a suicide, his child was murdered; he himself had nothing to
|
|
live for, and his wife had nothing to live for if he lived. An unclean
|
|
old man! After all his years of difficult restraints, after all the
|
|
affection that he had given her, she had called him that. And she was
|
|
right. He was an unclean old man. Was he to be also a coward?
|
|
|
|
He cried aloud. He dared not open his eyes, but, bathed in a sweat that
|
|
he thought must be a sweat of blood, he tried to wriggle blindly and
|
|
like a worm, back toward the mouth of the precipice. It cost him nearly
|
|
all his strength, but he shoved himself forward and fell--a foot, over a
|
|
stone.
|
|
|
|
He looked about him. He had been wriggling away from his death.
|
|
|
|
Stainton rose to his hands and knees. He headed about and crawled again
|
|
to the chapel and around it. The journey seemed interminable, but he
|
|
gained the edge, looked over----
|
|
|
|
One little push would do it; one leap.
|
|
|
|
His head swam. He dug his toes in the loose rocks before him until his
|
|
fingers were cut and his palms ripped. With every nerve and muscle in
|
|
his body, his body writhed away and rolled back to the front of the
|
|
chapel and to safety.
|
|
|
|
He lay before the open front of the chapel and knew that his adventure
|
|
was over, that he could not do the thing that he had highly determined.
|
|
He saw the future with clear eyes. He told himself that if he could not
|
|
die for his wife, it must be that he did not love her; that to go back
|
|
to her was, therefore, to chain himself to a woman that he did not love,
|
|
to spoil the life of a man that did love her, to ruin the life of a
|
|
woman that he himself had promised to love. It was useless to imagine
|
|
that he might live and leave her, for he knew that if he left her she,
|
|
unable to marry von Klausen, would marry no one and would come to what
|
|
Stainton believed to be a worse estate. He knew that if he lived, he
|
|
would have to live beside her and not with her, a despised protector. If
|
|
passion should once or twice more flicker in its socket, it would be an
|
|
animal passion that he detested and that would make Muriel and him
|
|
detest each other.
|
|
|
|
The glamour of their miracle-love for each other was dispelled. They
|
|
must henceforth see with straight eyes. She would look upon him as an
|
|
unclean old man; he would see in her the death to his hope of physical
|
|
immortality; and the three, von Klausen, Muriel, and he would share a
|
|
secret, a secret of which they might never rid themselves. He,
|
|
unwanted, why did he not go? He saw Muriel grow into a starved and
|
|
thwarted woman; he saw himself sink into a terrified and lonely and
|
|
loathed old age. His voice broke out in a shrill sob; but he knew that
|
|
he would have to live. The old dread had conquered.
|
|
|
|
He sat up. Possessed by a fear that the entire summit of the mountain
|
|
might fall with him, he began to drag himself down the way that he had
|
|
so carelessly ascended. It was a hideous descent. There were points in
|
|
it that he could scarcely believe he had managed to pass. He came down
|
|
in thrice the time that he had gone up, and he came down much of the way
|
|
on his hands and knees, shaking like a frightened child.
|
|
|
|
They were standing by the parapet when he staggered, panting, toward
|
|
them: Muriel's black eyes shining with tears, and a light in von
|
|
Klausen's boyish face that made the husband wince.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Jim," said Muriel, "how muddy your clothes are. You look perfectly
|
|
ridiculous."
|
|
|
|
Stainton was thinking:
|
|
|
|
"I must get her away. I must get myself away from this awful place. I
|
|
must take her with me. I am afraid to be alone. I must get her away."
|
|
|
|
What he said was:
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Come away from that wall. Don't stand so near that wall! Yes, I
|
|
had a little tumble."
|
|
|
|
They both started forward.
|
|
|
|
"Are you hurt?" they asked, and they asked it together.
|
|
|
|
"No--no; I'm all right. Quite all right." He looked at Muriel. "You
|
|
can't fix it up?"
|
|
|
|
She shook her head.
|
|
|
|
He looked at von Klausen.
|
|
|
|
"You"--he wet his lips with his thick tongue--"you won't change your
|
|
prejudices?"
|
|
|
|
The Austrian flushed.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot change my religion," said he.
|
|
|
|
Stainton clumsily drew his watch from his pocket.
|
|
|
|
"Then," said Stainton, "you and I must be hurrying, Muriel. I'm sorry,
|
|
Captain; but the bus leaves the Hôtellerie in half an hour, and we've
|
|
got to hurry to catch it. Good-bye. Muriel, come on."
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE END
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The CROWN NOVELS
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AUTHOR OF "THE HOUSE OF BONDAGE," ETC.
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THE GIRL THAT GOES WRONG, by Reginald Wright Kauffman
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The inexpressible conditions of human bondage of many young girls and
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Critics agree that this is Victoria Cross' greatest novel. Those who
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th St., New York
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If you loved your wife and she committed the greatest wrong, would you
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AT BAY, by Page Philips
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THE FAMILY CUPBOARD, by Owen Davis
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Sometimes a respectable father revolts from the bondage imposed upon him
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Charles Nelson needed affection. Lacking it at home, he sought it
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THE SECRET OF THE NIGHT, by Gaston Leroux
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Rouletabille has returned! The hero of "The Mystery of the Yellow Room!"
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He appears again in the most successful mystery story of the year.
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THE APPLE OF DISCORD, by Henry C. Rowland
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Calvert Lanier, and his floating studio, obtrudes himself upon an
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exclusive summer colony and succeeds in kissing the three most exclusive
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|
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RUNNING SANDS, by Reginald Wright Kauffman
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In the skillful hands of the author this novel runs admirably and
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Wherever you bought this volume you can purchase any other of the Crown
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th Street, New York
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SIMPLY WOMEN, by Marcel Prévost
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WHOSO FINDETH A WIFE, by J. Wesley Putnam
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Being an answer to Hall Caine's "The Woman Thou Gavest Me"
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HER REASON, Anonymous
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A frank exposure of Modern Marriage. "Her Reason" shows the deplorable
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LIFE OF MY HEART, by Victoria Cross
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How Love revenges herself on those who disregard her plainest promptings
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THE NIGHT OF TEMPTATION, by Victoria Cross
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The self-sacrifice of woman in love. The heroine gives herself to a man
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for his own sake. He is her hero, her god, and she declines to marry him
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until satisfied that he cannot live without her.
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THE LAW OF LIFE, by Carl Werner
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Helen Willoughby is beautiful and attractive. Among her lovers there are
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|
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Wherever you bought this volume you can purchase any other of the Crown
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th Street, New York
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ROMANCE, by Acton Davies
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MY ACTOR HUSBAND, Anonymous
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TWO APACHES OF PARIS, by Alice and Claude Askew
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AUTHORS OF "THE SHULAMITE," "THE ROD OF JUSTICE," ETC.
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THE VISITS OF ELIZABETH, by Elinor Glyn
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BEYOND THE ROCKS, by Elinor Glyn
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THE REFLECTIONS OF AMBROSINE, by Elinor Glyn
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set forth as Elinor Glyn alone knows how.
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"Gratitude and power and self-control! * * * in nature I find there is a
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stronger force than all these things, and that is the touch of the one
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we love."--Ambrosine.
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Wherever you bought this volume you can purchase any other of the Crown
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th St., New York
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caprice."--_Boston Transcript._
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Evangeline is a delightful heroine with glorious red hair and amazing
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eyes that looked a thousand unsaid challenges.
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DAYBREAK: a Prologue to "Three Weeks"
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"Daybreak" is a prologue to "Three Weeks" and forms the first of the
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ONE DAY: a Sequel to "Three Weeks"
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"There is a note of sincerity in this book that is lacking in the
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"One Day" is the sequel you have been waiting for since reading "Three
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HIGH NOON: a New Sequel to "Three Weeks"
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A Modern Romeo and Juliet
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THE DIARY OF MY HONEYMOON
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but whatever may be said of the views of the anonymous author, the
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"Diary" is a work of throbbing and intense humanity, the moral of which
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THE INDISCRETION OF LADY USHER: a Sequel to "The Diary of My Honeymoon"
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"Another purpose novel dealing with the question of marriage and dealing
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Wherever you bought this volume you can purchase any other of the Crown
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th St., New York
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LITTLE LOST SISTER, by Virginia Brooks
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Gripping, vital, true, intense, it is a page from the life of a
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SPARROWS, by Horace W. C. Newte
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The story of an unprotected girl, of which the reader will not skip a
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THE OTHER MAN'S WIFE, by Frank Richardson
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The duel of sex is here, and it is described without bias, as fearlessly
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SALLY BISHOP, by E. Temple Thurston
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There have been few stories so sweet, so moving, so tender, so
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THE PRICE, by Gertie de S. Wentworth-James
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Dealing with woman's life under modern conditions, the author writes of
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DAUGHTERS OF THE RICH, by Edgar Saltus
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A story of great strength and almost photographic intensity, wise,
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HAGAR REVELLY, by Daniel Carson Goodman
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A truthful presentation of the real reasons why some girls go wrong and
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UNCLOTHED, by Daniel Carson Goodman
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A novel for the woman of thirty, this book is an honest attempt to be
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LOVE'S PILGRIMAGE, by Upton Sinclair
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A novel which deals with a husband and a wife, which for efficiency and
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th Street, New York
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LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW, by Victoria Cross
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PAULA, by Victoria Cross
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THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS, by Victoria Cross
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SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE, by Victoria Cross
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A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE, by Victoria Cross
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THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T, by Victoria Cross
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ANNA LOMBARD, by Victoria Cross
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THE ETERNAL FIRES, by Victoria Cross
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Given the soul of a maiden waiting for love, the plot as it unfolds
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shows how the heroine finds one worthy of her.
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Wherever you bought this volume you can purchase any other of the Crown
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THE MACAULAY COMPANY 15 West 38th Street, New York
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[Transcriber's Notes:
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|
|
|
|
|
Italic typeface in the original book is indicated with _underscores_.
|
|
|
|
Minor changes have been made to correct typesetters' errors; otherwise,
|
|
every effort has been made to remain true to the author's words and
|
|
intent.
|
|
|
|
The following spelling variants have been retained as printed:
|
|
|
|
"Lyon" and "Lyons"
|
|
|
|
"nearby" and "near-by"
|
|
|
|
"treetops" and "tree-tops"
|
|
|
|
"sha'n't" and "shan't"
|
|
|
|
On page 333, an asterisk * appears; however, there is no corresponding
|
|
note in this book.]
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End of Project Gutenberg's Running Sands, by Reginald Wright Kauffman
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